Need advice on this situation, who's right?

pugsnotdrugs13

Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
That was fine.
Until now.

I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

Birroc

Not another red cent!

kneemos

Just have sex and post the pics.

Funnyonion79

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
That was fine.
Until now.

I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

Just tell her sorry but you've just done your finances and you don't have the money to pay her back.

Money and friends don't mix and always end badly.

If she doesn't accept this, there's nothing you can do but your friendship will probably suffer for it. Sounds to me like you might be better off if it does, but in my opinion you have no obligation to pay her back so don't worry about it.

le la rat

she gave you a gift as a friend and I think it is wrong that she wants it back

pugsnotdrugs13

I think the friendship will suffer for it too, but you're damn right I'll probably be better off! My boyfriend went crazy when he heard she asked for it back, he's Polish and that ain't how they roll.

bodhi085

Give her the €50 back along with a printout of the bus timetable to college.

As the driver of the car, the responsibility of where you park is yours alone. There would have been notices up regarding parking in that place, and you chose to put your car there. Your friend didn't have a gun to your head, you made the decision.

That said, she accepted half the fault and paid half. That should be the end of it, so if I was you I'd tell her you don't have the money to LOAN her. Not give her back.

pugsnotdrugs13

bodhi085 wrote: »

Give her the €50 back along with a printout of the bus timetable to college.

haha I like this one:p

Sir Osis of Liver.

kneemos wrote: »

Just have sex and post the pics.

Ye both should have had sex with the clamper.
Everyones a winner.

stefan idiot jones

This one is easy.

I'll give my answer in the form of a question......


When are women ever right?

handlemaster

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
That was fine.
Until now.

I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

You alone are responsible for your car and what you do with it. Welcome to adulthood.

Specialun

R u ok bbz xxx

YOLO

pugsnotdrugs13

handlemaster wrote: »

You alone are responsible for your car and what you do with it. Welcome to adulthood.

I know, but she accepted half the fault and said there was no need to pay it back, an act of kindness if you will. I just thought it was a bit cheeky coming asking for it back. If I were here, and became broke, I would be way too mortified to ask my friend for the *gift* back.

corner of hells

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

I think the friendship will suffer for it too, but you're damn right I'll probably be better off! My boyfriend went crazy when he heard she asked for it back, he's Polish and that ain't how they roll.

Maybe buy your own clamp , how do Polish people roll ? The two beside me drive cars so not much rolling is done.Anyway if you buy your clamp you clamp middle aged women in carparks and make a few quid for yourself.

LETHAL LADY

Your friend is totally in the wrong about this and you've every right to point that out to her. Your OP reminded me of this tune.

Hunter of Invisible Game

Text her a link to this thread and tell her post her side of things.

Thread be nice and balanced then.

Gongoozler

Your car your fine. Yeah she took the blame partly but doesn't mean she owes you it. A lot of stuff in your list of things that you *need* to pay for, but paying someone back should be top of that, after food and rent. Never mind your new laptop etc.

handlemaster

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
That was fine.
Until now.

I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

You alone are responsible for your car and what you do with it. Welcome to adulthood.

kneemos

Hope you never get jury duty.

maria34

You should get paid for diesel to get her to college. I mean sure you have to pick her up and be on time for that etc. well thats what i do, im driving to college and girls give me some cash. My win and theirs too as the bus ticket would be twice as expencive.

Id problably keep that 50 euros for her contribution towards the lift to college. Friendship is gone out of the window anyway.

pugsnotdrugs13

Gongoozler wrote: »

Your car your fine. Yeah she took the blame partly but doesn't mean she owes you it. A lot of stuff in your list of things that you *need* to pay for, but paying someone back should be top of that, after food and rent. Never mind your new laptop etc.

This is more about going back on her word. I hadn't owed her anything for over a month until she decided she wants it back.

kneemos wrote: »

Hope you never get jury duty.

What's that supposed to mean?

pugsnotdrugs13

maria34 wrote: »

You should get paid for diesel to get her to college. I mean sure you have to pick her up and be on time for that etc. well thats what i do, im driving to college and girls give me some cash. My win and theirs too as the bus ticket would be twice as expencive.

Id problably keep that 50 euros for her contribution towards the lift to college. Friendship is gone out of the window anyway.

100% agree with this answer, thank you

mathepac

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

... Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? ... .

That's not a question

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

... . Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have? ....

That's not a question

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

... I can't get a refund so why should she? ...

That's a question. She shouldn't

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

... My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

Be a good lickle gurl, listen to your parents and say your prayers at night,

maria34

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

100% agree with this answer, thank you

I dont know why u havent done it before? Its called car pooling in english i think. Loads of students do that.

pugsnotdrugs13

maria34 wrote: »

I dont know why u havent done it before? Its called car pooling in english i think. Loads of students do that.

I did when I brought 2 other girls last year also, the 2 girls always threw me some cash on a Friday and guess who didn't

pugsnotdrugs13

mathepac wrote: »

That's not a question
That's not a question
That's a question. She shouldn't
Be a good lickle gurl, listen to your parents and say your prayers at night,

God loves a smartass

Tasden

You told her you'd pay her back, don't say it if you don't mean it, people hold you to it. She shouldn't have said no its ok if she didn't mean it either but if you're willing to hold her to her word on that then you can't expect her not to hold you to yours.

She was kind enough to give you money when you needed it so pay her back or she may not be so kind next time.

sillyoulfool

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
That was fine.
Until now.

I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

You owe the girl, pay her.
She needs a friend like you like a hole in the head.

kneemos

If your friendship is worth fifty quid pay her back if not don't...my dear Watson.

pugsnotdrugs13

Tasden wrote: »

You told her you'd pay her back, don't say it if you don't mean it, people hold you to it. She shouldn't have said no its ok if she didn't mean it either but if you're willing to hold her to her word on that then you can't expect her not to hold you to yours.

She was kind enough to give you money when you needed it so pay her back or she may not be so kind next time.

I think you're missing the point here.. I held her to the conversation. An example of holding someone to a conversation:

If you and I went for lunch and I said hey I'm getting a beer do you want one? You say yes and hand me a fiver and I say ah you're grand.

pugsnotdrugs13

Why are people telling me I owe her. I clearly don't as she said don't worry about it it's her fault too. If you think I should give her the money back that's fine. Just don't tell me I owe her because I don't.

maria34

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

I did when I brought 2 other girls last year also, the 2 girls always threw me some cash on a Friday and guess who didn't

Well you have had your lesson now, so its time to make some ground rules.
For example i was talking with the girls im going to college with (and they are very young so its not the age!) beforehand and we made a deal how much they would pay for 1 trip. Sometimes they miss college, so they dont pay then. But if they take the trip with me tgey always pay. Never had a problem with them and we get on great. No fights because of money :-)

pugsnotdrugs13

maria34 wrote: »

Well you have had your lesson now, so its time to make some ground rules.
For example i was talking with the girls im going to college with (and they are very young so its not the age!) beforehand and we made a deal how much they would pay for 1 trip. Sometimes they miss college, so they dont pay then. But if they take the trip with me tgey always pay. Never had a problem with them and we get on great. No fights because of money :-)

I'm glad it worked out for you and I hope it continues to run smoothly This has only ever been a problem with this particular girl, if it's added up, I've spent wayyyy more €€€ worth of fuel going to college than that €50! You know yourself

Tasden

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

I think you're missing the point here.. I held her to the conversation. An example of holding someone to a conversation:

If you and I went for lunch and I said hey I'm getting a beer do you want one? You say yes and hand me a fiver and I say ah you're grand.

I'm not missing the point. I said neither of you should've said it if you didn't mean it.

Doesn't matter who said it when, if you didn't mean it don't say it because people do hold you to it.

I understand you're saying that she ended the conversation with no you don't have to and that should be the end of it but tough luck really because you said you'd pay her back, she isn't seeing that as an offer with a time limit or that no longer applies if she refuses at the time (which should be the case but that's why I said she was wrong to say it if she didn't mean it).

Also, people are telling you that you owe her because that's their opinion on the issue, which is what you asked people for.

sillyoulfool

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Why are people telling me I owe her. I clearly don't as she said don't worry about it it's her fault too. If you think I should give her the money back that's fine. Just don't tell me I owe her because I don't.

You Do

Me?

This OP should result in a license revoke. People who cannot handle situations like this without asking advise from the internet should not be allowed operate heavy machinery.

Dubl07

Me? wrote: »

This OP should result in a license revoke. People who cannot handle situations like this should not be allowed operate heavy machinery.

Be fair. OP is only 13. She's only acting like a stroppy, bad-mannered teen because she is.

pugsnotdrugs13

Me? wrote: »

This OP should result in a license revoke. People who cannot handle situations like this should not be allowed operate heavy machinery.

As I believe a mod once said: "abuse the question not the poster", so can you kindly back the **** up and don't contribute unless you have a genuine opinion on my post please

stefan idiot jones

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

As I believe a mod once said: "abuse the question not the poster", so can you kindly back the **** up and don't contribute unless you have a genuine opinion on my post please

Time of the month?

mod: banned.

corner of hells

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

As I believe a mod once said: "abuse the question not the poster", so can you kindly back the **** up and don't contribute unless you have a genuine opinion on my post please

Is it not "attack the post , not the poster " ?

johnayo

Give her an invoice for the fuel used transporting her college less the €50.

Cienciano

Sounds to me your friend is an arsehole.

handlemaster wrote: »

You alone are responsible for your car and what you do with it. Welcome to adulthood.

Adults also read the full post before posting a comment

pugsnotdrugs13

Yes please continue to talk down and bully me in an online forum, you intelligent humans.

pugsnotdrugs13

She literally just text me "any story with money i need it to book flights lol"

Mint Aero

Simple as this OP.

You got clamped but for some reason involved 2 other people.The bf and friend. YOU PAY YOUR FINES YOURSELF. Got that? Simple isn't it.

Also to simplify everything else for you. YOU give your friend a lift to college for free. If you want her to contribute for petrol YOU should ask.



Or you could just ask a bunch of strangers on AH about an extremely trivial thing :rolleyes:

Also don't give her any money back. She gave it to you. Tough sh*t.

stefan idiot jones

I'll give this thread ten minutes before a total OP meltdown.

sillyoulfool

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

She literally just text me "any story with money i need it to book flights lol"

Pay your debt, you owe the money, stop whining and pay up.

Femme_Fatale

Why are people pretending the friend didn't agree, of her own volition, to pay €50 towards the release fee?

stefan idiot jones

pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »

Yes please continue to talk down and bully me in an online forum, you intelligent humans.

You want the truth?

You can't handle the truth.

Tasden

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Why are people pretending the friend didn't agree, of her own volition, to pay €50 towards the release fee?

Nobody is pretending that. The op agreed of her own volition to pay it back when she came into more money.