"Visiting escorts can save a marriage"

Chefrio

I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles and noticed an interesting thread about your first time with an escort or a client. It was mentioned by a few that visiting escorts saved their marriage.

Do you think this happens much and is the marriage really saved? I have mixed feelings on matter, think it probably could save some who are in sexless but otherwise happy marriages. But deception ain't cool.

howamidifferent

Would a volkswagon work just as well?

WilyCoyote

I believe that this can happen. If there are hang ups on either the hubby or wife's brain, a little on the side could help

Banjo String

Chefrio wrote: »

I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles and noticed an interesting thread about your first time with an escort or a client. It was mentioned by a few that visiting escorts saved their marriage.

Do you think this happens much and is the marriage really saved? I have mixed feelings on matter, think it probably could save some who are in sexless but otherwise happy marriages. But deception ain't cool.

I can't imagine a marriage counsellor advocating visiting one tbh.

I wonder what take their partners have on it, except I doubt they know for the most part.

I'm sure it happens, but it's also a self serving statement.

Tzardine

Banjo String wrote: »

I can't imagine a marriage counsellor advocating visiting one tbh.

Joking aside , imagine one partner stopped having any desire for sex. I imagine an escort would be an easier and cheaper option in the mind of many .

I am pie

Aye sure, just browsing for a bit of a laugh was it....suurrre.

Strituck

Strituck wrote: »

Joking aside , imagine one partner stopped having any desire for sex. I imagine an escort would be an easier and cheaper option in the mind of many .

Easier and cheaper doesn't always equal the best answer.

As my neighbour with the newly repaired, but still leaky roof will tell you.

WilyCoyote

Candie wrote: »

Easier and cheaper doesn't always equal the best answer.

As my neighbour with the newly repaired, but still leaky roof will tell you.

It's cheaper than psychoanalysis. And more enjoyable!

Czarcasm

Chefrio wrote: »

I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles and noticed an interesting thread about your first time with an escort or a client. It was mentioned by a few that visiting escorts saved their marriage.

Do you think this happens much and is the marriage really saved? I have mixed feelings on matter, think it probably could save some who are in sexless but otherwise happy marriages. But deception ain't cool.

It happens an awful lot that people fool themselves into thinking their marriage was saved by merely having their sexual desires fulfilled by a third party. The only thing that saves a marriage is when the people involved in the marriage choose to work on their marriage. Otherwise they're best just call it a day and stop kidding themselves.

SV

Absolutely ridiculous and people just looking to justify to themselves what they did, when the reality is they're cheating lying scumbags.

28064212

"Visiting escorts can save a marriage"
"Blowing 500 on a secret alcohol/gambling binge every so often can save a marriage"
"Having a secret abortion can save a marriage"
"Keeping the fact that you hate your partner a secret can save your marriage"

Alf Veedersane

howamidifferent wrote: »

Would a volkswagon work just as well?

Probably.



They have a higher sex drive.

dark crystal

The only time it could work, is if there is a physical reason either the husband or wife could not have sex and they fully consented to their partner sleeping with an escort.

Deceit can never work in a marriage.

Alf Veedersane

dark crystal wrote: »

Deceit can never work in a marriage.

I disagree.

Exhibit A: "No, your bum does not look big in that!"

For every marriage saved by visiting escorts, I wonder how many have been ruined.

IvyTheTerrible

It sounds to me like a similar self-serving platitude to "We're living separate lives" said to a mistress by a married man.

Daqster

Chefrio wrote: »

I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles ..

The fcukers, they told me they wouldn't do that.

SEPT 23 1989

I don't know how a completely sexless marriage could be a happy one

Tasden

Czarcasm wrote: »

It happens an awful lot that people fool themselves into thinking their marriage was saved by merely having their sexual desires fulfilled by a third party. The only thing that saves a marriage is when the people involved in the marriage choose to work on their marriage. Otherwise they're best just call it a day and stop kidding themselves.

But if working on their marriage involves a mutual agreement regarding the use of escorts then that can save the marriage.

I think that every relationship is different and as long as both partners are genuinely OK with it then whatever works for them.

Using them without your partner knowing- hell no.

Czarcasm

Tasden wrote: »

But if working on their marriage involves a mutual agreement regarding the use of escorts then that can save the marriage.

I think that every relationship is different and as long as both partners are genuinely OK with it then whatever works for them.

Using them without your partner knowing- hell no.

That's less saving their marriage and more just redefining their relationship. Then it's just a marriage by name and not by nature.

I have no issue with people redefining what their marriage means to them, more power to them and all, but the suggestion by anyone that escorts save marriages is about as valid as those e-mails that say with some magic beans I can add inches to my mickey.

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Tasden

Czarcasm wrote: »

That's less saving their marriage and more just redefining their relationship. Then it's just a marriage by name and not by nature.

I have no issue with people redefining what their marriage means to them, more power to them and all, but the suggestion by anyone that escorts save marriages is about as valid as those e-mails that say with some magic beans I can add inches to my mickey.

Well have you tried the magic beans? :pac:

Fair enough it might be more redefining your marriage, but if it makes both the married partners happy in the arrangement they now have then I'd personally see it as a saved marriage. Marriage in the traditional sense maybe not, but their particular marriage and how they want it to be yeah.

Legs.Eleven

You automatically ruin your marriage by going off with an escort. It's the very definition of a ruined relationship that you would rather deceive your partner and sleep with someone else than either sort it out or end it. Getting your rocks off with a prostitute does nothing but scratch an itch and telling yourself it's anything more profound than that instead of admitting to yourself what it's really about makes you a selfish arsehole.

Alf Veedersane

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Getting your rocks off with a prostitute does nothing but scratch an itch

Prostitution: the cause of and solution to life's itches.

catallus

The real deception that is going on is the one in which people tell themselves that life-long marriage to one person is a valid societal construct.

Pumpkinseeds

Anyone else read the thread title as VIKING escort? No, just me?:o

Daqster

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

I don't know how a completely sexless marriage could be a happy one

That's a shame, I hope one day you will.


EDIT: Didn't mean that I hope one day you'd have a sexless marriage, but that I hope one day you'd understand how someone could be happy in one.

Czarcasm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Anyone else read the thread title as VIKING escort? No, just me?:o

Well, you managed to get a firm grasp of the association between escorts and vikings having their helmets and horns polished...


Thread could explode at any minute with that sort of inyourendoh!

smellslikeshoes

I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of a man in a sexless or essentially sexless marriage before you criticize. You love your wife deeply but since you got married and had maybe 2-3 kids the sex has completely evaporated. What are you supposed to do, Trying to convince someone who doesn't think there is anything wrong to go to marriage counseling? If someone has made up their mind that they don't want sex anymore no amount of counseling is going to help. Divorce her? That's an option I suppose but then you have to deal with how unfair divorce generally is for men, forced out of the house you paid for and have a draconian maintenance order imposed upon you and barely get to see your kids.

Or go see Candi the escort twice a month.

I Heart Internet

Don't do it OP.

It'll fall off.

smellslikeshoes

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

Or go see Candi the escort twice a month.

Careful, you could cause me a lot of hassle there

Czarcasm

catallus wrote: »

The real deception that is going on is the one in which people tell themselves that life-long marriage to one person is a valid societal construct.

Em, feel free to correct me if I'm picking you up wrong, but marriage is an institution constructed by a society with the aim of well, "till death do us part"?

I'd say marriage is a good example of the definition of a valid social construct? Unless you mean something completely different to the rest of society, in which case it's not society that's fooling itself, it's... well, you're the only one fooling yourself really.

Pumpkinseeds

Maybe the Vikings could force the other spouse to stay in the marraige:D Personally, I see marraige as mutally exclusive. Anyone who is looking for sex with someone outside of their marraige needs to re-evaluate their relationship, talk to their spouse and decide if the marraige is viable. If it isn't viable then it would be time to move on.

Czarcasm

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of a man in a sexless or essentially sexless marriage before you criticize. You love your wife deeply but since you got married and had maybe 2-3 kids the sex has completely evaporated. What are you supposed to do, Trying to convince someone who doesn't think there is anything wrong to go to marriage counseling? If someone has made up their mind that they don't want sex anymore no amount of counseling is going to help. Divorce her?

Or go see Candi the escort twice a month.

You could equally dismiss and ignore the consequences of divorce as you did with the consequences of visiting an escort in order to support or disagree with your simplistic argument.

smellslikeshoes

Candie wrote: »

Careful, you could cause me a lot of hassle there

Sorry that was just the first name that came into my head, didn't mean to imply anything

poundapunnet

catallus wrote: »

The real deception that is going on is the one in which people tell themselves that life-long marriage to one person is a valid societal construct.

You're the most consistently odd and unpredictable christian poster in these here parts. I'm not even having a go at you, I just can't get my head around you at all at all, and I agree with your above post.

On topic: I can see how in a sexless marriage a visit to an escort could seem very appealing and could help someone who's feeling incredibly frustrated and unloved in the short term. And I can see how there's a case to be made that if one partner is maintaining that lack of sex isn't a valid enough reason to have a proper conversation then seeking sex outside the marriage isn't a valid enough reason to end the marriage.

Buuut, I do agree it's likely to be used in a self-serving way to justify the act after the fact. I doubt people were thinking when going to the escort "I better do this to save my marriage", they were probably just gagging for sex, which is an understandable if not forgivable motivation. I just don't think people who say that are being entirely honest.

smellslikeshoes

Czarcasm wrote: »

You could equally dismiss and ignore the consequences of divorce as you did with the consequences of visiting an escort in order to support or disagree with your simplistic argument.

Sorry could you elaborate on what you mean here?

smellslikeshoes

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

Sorry that was just the first name that came into my head, didn't mean to imply anything

I know, I'm just joking.:)

beakerjoe

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of a man in a sexless or essentially sexless marriage before you criticize. You love your wife deeply but since you got married and had maybe 2-3 kids the sex has completely evaporated. What are you supposed to do, Trying to convince someone who doesn't think there is anything wrong to go to marriage counseling? If someone has made up their mind that they don't want sex anymore no amount of counseling is going to help. Divorce her? That's an option I suppose but then you have to deal with how unfair divorce generally is for men, forced out of the house you paid for and have a draconian maintenance order imposed upon you and barely get to see your kids.

Or go see Candi the escort twice a month.

Ah but if the wife finds out about Candi then he will be out the door and then your in the divorce and homeless column anyway.

humbert

Why would people lie about that on the escort site? It's not a situation I ever see myself in but I don't have any great difficulty believing it. Life's complicated, people are different, so that quite possibly works for those people in thier marriages.

Czarcasm

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

Sorry could you elaborate on what you mean here?

Well basically in your earlier post you ignored any of the possible consequences of visiting an escort (neglecting to mention the financial implications even!), but when speaking about divorce you did indeed elaborate, so I just cut out the consequences of divorce the same way you ignored the consequences of visiting an escort, just to even up the argument for both sides.

Orlaw3136

Chefrio wrote: »

I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles ...

Whatever you're into yourself I suppose. Do you tickle her or does she tickle you, and who wears the nappy ?

smellslikeshoes

beakerjoe wrote: »

Ah but if the wife finds out about Candi then he will be out the door and then your in the divorce and homeless column anyway.

That is a possibility sure but it's not something that is 100% definitely going to happen, 30 mins twice a month would barely be noticed and I'd imagine that discretion is a serious part of an escort's business.

Czarcasm wrote: »

Well basically in your earlier post you ignored any of the possible consequences of visiting an escort (neglecting to mention the financial implications even!), but when speaking about divorce you did indeed elaborate, so I just cut out the consequences of divorce the same way you ignored the consequences of visiting an escort, just to even up the argument for both sides.

Sorry I thought the fact that the most of the thread has been about the consequences of visiting the escort would mean I wouldn't have to elaborate on that part. Lets face it here we all know the ****storm that would ensue if your partner found out you had been going to an escort.

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

28064212

smellslikeshoes wrote: »

I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of a man in a sexless or essentially sexless marriage before you criticize. You love your wife deeply but since you got married and had maybe 2-3 kids the sex has completely evaporated. What are you supposed to do, Trying to convince someone who doesn't think there is anything wrong to go to marriage counseling? If someone has made up their mind that they don't want sex anymore no amount of counseling is going to help. Divorce her? That's an option I suppose but then you have to deal with how unfair divorce generally is for men, forced out of the house you paid for and have a draconian maintenance order imposed upon you and barely get to see your kids.

Or go see Candi the escort twice a month.

What if your wife isn't sexless, but you simply do it for her anymore? And she's off visiting "Chet" or "Randy" twice a month because you aren't a satisfactory performer? But that's ok, right? Because she's "saving the marriage"

Chefrio

28064212 wrote: »

What if your wife isn't sexless, but you simply do it for her anymore? And she's off visiting "Chet" or "Randy" twice a month because you aren't a satisfactory performer? But that's ok, right? Because she's "saving the marriage"

Then she should have been honest and told her husband that she wasn't attracted to him anymore.

Lyaiera

If everyone's happy with then it I'm happy with it. I don't get to decide how they conduct their marriage and relationships. That's entirely up to them.

I acutely think it would be a stage on the way to the end of the marriage, at fist the man maybe thinks it is helping, but after a while going to a escort will be come just another problem the marriage has, there is no such thing as uncomplicated sex.

Boskowski

Projecting your own traditional views on marriage and what marriage is does not make it true for everyone. That's for the strong views on this just shy of venomous brigade.

And that's not me saying I'm not having traditional views myself btw.

Only saying.

28064212

Chefrio wrote: »

Then she should have been honest and told her husband that she wasn't attracted to him anymore.

Kind of missed the point there...