The Game By Neil strauss

lufties

Steo1885 wrote: »

Hi guys, new to boards, just moved to dublin from mayo. read the game by neil strauss a few months ago and was wondering if anybody here has read it and what do they think?

I got the book a few years ago, got about a third of the way through and was bored sh1tless so I stopped. Don't bother.

suicide_circus

Steo1885 wrote: »

yeah you probably heard the saying from the tv series the office "its only sexual harassment if the boss isn't hot" and you are probably a goodlooking guy and charasmatic but other people aren't and have no idea what to do..im single for the last 8 years and am willing to try whatever might work...

have you considered chloroform?

kc90

Steo1885 wrote: »

seems i hit a nerve with you KC90, hmmm people only get defensive when there is a grain of truth involved...so who is AH?

A little unsure what do you mean? I didn't realize I was being defensive. But okay
Anyways, we're in AH, after hours. You're a new poster, and if you're genuine, the quality of replies you get here, may scare you off. (Sorry Guys:pac:, you know it's true)

catallus

Steo1885 wrote: »

catallus ur post makes no sense...

You're telling me! That movie had me scratching my head for a whole hour afterwards. Maybe it was cos my hot-butter popcorn was stuck in my hair. But I got over that! It was the whole premise of the thing that made me wonder. That film was also guilty of a major crime against grammar afaicr, iykwim?

Butterface

You've been single for 8 years and you want to use pick up artistry to find a girlfriend? How about you just put yourself out there a bit and try chatting to women in a human way!

Also, I'm so curious as to whether other women fall for this? Or would they even know it was happening? Or would they even admit if they knew?

The Dagda

wretcheddomain wrote: »

That's a ban-able offence according to AH charter! :eek:

Moving back to Mayo is a ban-able offence?

Steo1885

yeah single for 8 years, approach quite a bit but doesnt seem to work, so what am i meant to do? do the same thing and expect different results in einsteins definition of insanity...time to try something else and if it works great and if it doesnt at least i tried everything

Vitaliorange

Butterface wrote: »

You've been single for 8 years and you want to use pick up artistry to find a girlfriend? How about you just put yourself out there a bit and try chatting to women in a human way!

Also, I'm so curious as to whether other women fall for this? Or would they even know it was happening? Or would they even admit if they knew?

I've improved tremendously with women from pick up artist advice.

Vitaliorange

Steo1885 wrote: »

yeah single for 8 years, approach quite a bit but doesnt seem to work, so what am i meant to do? do the same thing and expect different results in einsteins definition of insanity...time to try something else and if it works great and if it doesnt at least i tried everything

Walk us through your thoughts, emotions and actions as you approach. Be honest.

Muise...

Butterface wrote: »

Also, I'm so curious as to whether other women fall for this? Or would they even know it was happening? Or would they even admit if they knew?

I don't think any women fall for it; if it works it's coincidence because we have already decided to have sex with someone and are just patiently waiting for him to finish throwing shapes and get to the point.

Vitaliorange

Muise... wrote: »

I don't think any women fall for it; if it works it's coincidence because we have already decided to have sex with someone and are just patiently waiting for him to finish throwing shapes and get to the point.

Well if you can fall for it when a man is confident, funny, charismatic, , friendly and cool then a lot of women fall for it. Becoming good with women is basically learning these traits and bringing them out of yourself.

Chancer3001

Read it, use it, it works, it's an easy crutch for people who are bad with women.

Then progress on to rsd.

Then on to being a natural natural.

But yes, the game is excellent.

Ps - don't ban me!

Muise...

Vitaliorange wrote: »

Well if you can fall for it when a man is confident, funny, charismatic, , friendly and cool then a lot of women fall for it. Becoming good with women is basically learning these traits and bringing them out of yourself.

You mean you have to learn all the variables? Good luck with that. :rolleyes:

Vitaliorange

Muise... wrote: »

You mean you have to learn all the variables? Good luck with that. :rolleyes:

Huh??

Muise...

Vitaliorange wrote: »

Huh??

precisely :pac:

Vitaliorange

Muise... wrote: »

precisely :pac:

Confused

Pug160

This is old news.

Vitaliorange

Pug160 wrote: »

This is old news.

Its the first I've heard of the OP's problems with women. Are you his friend?

Wibbs

amazingemmet wrote: »

The secret to all this stuff is it gets you out talking to women and if you talk to enough of them one or two will be interested, simple numbers game dressed up as psuedo science.

This. You can't get fish with your net in the boat, so the guys standing in the corner all night aren't gonna get anywhere. However if you get into this PUA stuff it's mostly about approaching many many women(and getting shot down). If you go over and talk to a couple of hundred women, unless you've a face that rings bells in a Parisien cathedral and smell like a sewer a good few of them will respond. Doesn't mean it's the "method", beyond the approach. For socially immature guys who may have a fear of talking to women in social situations this may actually help them a lot. Like phobics exposed to their phobia time and time again can overcome it. So guys get more confidence and IMHO and IME women, particularly young women see lack of confidence the same way young men would see obesity in a woman. Rarely a turnon. The problem being the guff associated with it that rates women, more, makes them out to be a different species that you must dominate in some mad american will to power social dynamic way. That's a big problem.

Deleted User wrote: »

There are companies that run boot camps on how to pull women?

Christ.

Oh yep B. Huge market for it and the "pickup artist" gurus can make a small fortune from it*. What that says to me more is that there seems to be a generation of men for which social interaction is very difficult and romantic interaction even more difficult. I'd have a few theories on that score, but maybe for another time.






*actually met one a few years back in Dublin(English lad). He was letting me in on the amount of money being made especially from seminars. To be fair to him, beyond the money aspect he did seem to believe in the whole thing. Even asked did I reckon there was a market in older guys my age.

SHOVELLER

Read it a few years ago and it was hugely entertaining if you dont take it seriously. Having lived in the states I can confirm that there are suckers there for this rubbish.

The real game involves being yourself and just talking to girls. Smiling, being interesting and confident and you wont have any trouble meeting girls.

nxbyveromdwjpg

SHOVELLER wrote: »

The real game involves being yourself and just talking to girls. Smiling, being interesting and confident and you wont have any trouble meeting girls.

Been years since I read it but isn't that what he concludes at the end of the book?

SHOVELLER wrote: »

Having lived in the states I can confirm that there are suckers there for this rubbish.

I imagine it would, in Ireland though? Ha ha, no way

PUA seems to be a sort of system where socially incompetent men get to blame something else for their lack of success. It teaches them to approach more women by dehumanising them and reducing them to targets, gives the guy a script to work to and from, and if it fails, it protects their ego by giving them something to blame other than themselves upon rejection. Thus protecting their confidence and giving them the courage to approach another woman. And another. And so on.

I've seen these guys in action, found them sleazy and unattractive.

Wibbs

SHOVELLER wrote: »

The real game involves being yourself and just talking to girls. Smiling, being interesting and confident and you wont have any trouble meeting girls.

True S, but like the advice often thrown out "just be yourself" it's easy to say, but harder to do if "being yourself" has resulted in utter social failure. For young men in that position I can well see how this kind of thing is very very attractive.

The idea that there is a "system" tends to appeal to such men. They tend to be mechanistic in mindset, almost asbergy, so the instinct you and me might kick off on they just don't have/never developed it.

Candie wrote: »

PUA seems to be a sort of system where socially incompetent men get to blame something else for their lack of success. It teaches them to approach more women by dehumanising them and reducing them to targets, gives the guy a script to work to and from, and if it fails, it protects their ego by giving them something to blame other than themselves upon rejection. Thus protecting their confidence and giving them the courage to approach another woman. And another. And so on.

I've seen these guys in action, found them sleazy and unattractive.

I agree, but I take the other angle, namely why are so many young men socially incompetent, adrift and end up being attracted to this kind of "solution". IMHO and it is just MH, I think there is quite a crisis in the young man demographic. The extreme of this is in the suicide stats, but at the far less extreme, but again IMH for similar reasons you have this PUA stuff.

What we need as a society is to try and find a better solution for such young men that isn't predicated on scoring women.

Pug160

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh yep B. Huge market for it and the "pickup artist" gurus can make a small fortune from it*. What that says to me more is that there seems to be a generation of men for which social interaction is very difficult and romantic interaction even more difficult. I'd have a few theories on that score, but maybe for another time.

*actually met one a few years back in Dublin(English lad). He was letting me in on the amount of money being made especially from seminars. To be fair to him, beyond the money aspect he did seem to believe in the whole thing. Even asked did I reckon there was a market in older guys my age.

With some guys it's their overall social awkwardness that lets them down, but with others it only occurs around women. In some rare cases it could just be an inability to relate to the opposite sex but I think for the most part it's just a lack of experience on the man's part. Quite a lot of men go through life not actually being around women very often - which might surprise some people. For example, a male who goes to an all boys school, then when he leaves school works in a male dominated job. Then add to that the fact a lot of guys don't have females in their social circles. It's not exactly a recipe for success. To be fair, I think a lot of the earlier advice has been binned and most people now accept that men who are not successful with women should work on all aspects of their life. But there are still a lot of so called gurus exploiting vulnerable men unfortunately.

Wibbs

Pug160 wrote: »

but I think for the most part it's just a lack of experience on the man's part.

I'd agree with this in general alright, the why's may be harder to tease out.

Quite a lot of men go through life not actually being around women very often - which might surprise some people. For example, a male who goes to an all boys school, then when he leaves school works in a male dominated job. Then add to that the fact a lot of guys don't have females in their social circles. It's not exactly a recipe for success.

Certainly that can be a factor, though in my personal experience the guys who went to all boys schools were usually more successful socially as a general thing. In fairness this is a different generation(mine, when we spoke in Latin as a first language ).

Another aspect I reckon is that some men have too much social interaction with women from early. I know, sounds weird, bear with me. I mean that they grow up with women all around and have women as friends and when adolescence hits they don't know how/are confused in how to turn this into a romantic thing. These are the guys more likely to think "I'll be her friend first" and then end up never making a romantic overture. Of course romance can come from being friends first, but 1) it's less likely and 2)when it does it usually means she thought him a possible from the start. If a 20 year old asked me as an old fart how to increase his chances, I'd tell him this; the word "girlfriend". Which word comes first? Girl? Yep, aim for the woman first and hopefully the friendship follows. After all(again in my experience) an awful lot more hookups and relationships occur on nights out between men and women that barely know each other, than happen when a man and woman are friends for a year. Take from that what one will.

pharmaton

Do you need man cards to play?

Vitaliorange

Candie wrote: »

PUA seems to be a sort of system where socially incompetent men get to blame something else for their lack of success. It teaches them to approach more women by dehumanising them and reducing them to targets, gives the guy a script to work to and from, and if it fails, it protects their ego by giving them something to blame other than themselves upon rejection. Thus protecting their confidence and giving them the courage to approach another woman. And another. And so on.

I've seen these guys in action, found them sleazy and unattractive.

From what ive personally learnt it teaches you that its your own fault that you arent good with women. No one elses.

Pug160

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd agree with this in general alright, the why's may be harder to tease out.

Certainly that can be a factor, though in my personal experience the guys who went to all boys schools were usually more successful socially as a general thing. In fairness this is a different generation(mine, when we spoke in Latin as a first language ).

Another aspect I reckon is that some men have too much social interaction with women from early. I know, sounds weird, bear with me. I mean that they grow up with women all around and have women as friends and when adolescence hits they don't know how/are confused in how to turn this into a romantic thing. These are the guys more likely to think "I'll be her friend first" and then end up never making a romantic overture. Of course romance can come from being friends first, but 1) it's less likely and 2)when it does it usually means she thought him a possible from the start. If a 20 year old asked me as an old fart how to increase his chances, I'd tell him this; the word "girlfriend". Which word comes first? Girl? Yep, aim for the woman first and hopefully the friendship follows. After all(again in my experience) an awful lot more hookups and relationships occur on nights out between men and women that barely know each other, than happen when a man and woman are friends for a year. Take from that what one will.

That could be another possibility. Another side of the same coin maybe. But I don't think it's anywhere near as common as the guys who have very little interaction with girls and suffer in later life as a consequence. I don't think there is a 'point of no return' but I do reckon if you hit the age of 20 before you start interacting with the opposite sex it can take a long time to develop confidence.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree, but I take the other angle, namely why are so many young men socially incompetent, adrift and end up being attracted to this kind of "solution". IMHO and it is just MH, I think there is quite a crisis in the young man demographic. The extreme of this is in the suicide stats, but at the far less extreme, but again IMH for similar reasons you have this PUA stuff.

What we need as a society is to try and find a better solution for such young men that isn't predicated on scoring women.

Like almost everything, I expect the reasons for the crisis in masculine identity is multi-factorial. More men are being raised in female-headed single parent households which affects the role models available for men and boys, in two parent families the marriage is more partnership modelled than breadwinner/dependents, the concentration of male dominated work environments has remained roughly the same but with the industry focus changed (less construction but more programming etc), young men can't look to past generations on how to function within society because the make up of authority has changed to reflect a greater gender equality, and as such the old ways of bolstering male empowerment and confidence are defunct.

The single sex schools don't help, but they weren't quite the last straw in previous generations. These days some boys have no men at home, no contemporary females at school, and a large majority of men to look forward to working with. For a certain type of inadequate man, it's very easy to blame women for his lack of romantic success, or as obstacles to his professional success.

I knew an old man who reminisced about the times when being a man was just better than being any woman. We were talking about Indira Ghandi at the time.

I don't know what the answers are, but raising boys in a more gender equal world has got to deal with expectations versus abilities, as the old standards simply don't apply any more.

Vitaliorange

OP I generally find this guy has useful advice.


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yuq2uC1Inhg