The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Pawwed Rig

Worztron wrote: »

Isaiah 34:13 & 14
13 And thorns shall come up in her palaces, nettles and brambles in the fortresses thereof: and it shall be an habitation of dragons, and a court for owls.
14 The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, and the satyr* shall cry to his fellow; the screech owl also shall rest there, and find for herself a place of rest.

*In Greek mythology, a satyr is one of a troop of ithyphallic** male companions of Dionysus

**Of or pertaining to the erect phallus that was carried in bacchic processions.

Worztron

oscarBravo

Worztron

AstraMonti

I asked the same question when I was in school, the result was to be sent out for bad behaviour lol

Worztron

AstraMonti wrote: »

I asked the same question when I was in school, the result was to be sent out for bad behaviour lol

Alas it seems that the main rule of religion is to never ask questions about it.

This video comes to mind:

Worztron

kylith

Worztron wrote: »

Devil is good img

I've been saying this for YEARS but people look at me like I'm mental.

I should probably stop shouting "THE DEVIL'S A GOOD GUY" on the street, I suppose.

Worztron

AstraMonti

RikuoAmero

Worztron wrote: »

This cinches it for me. If Jesus really did say those words, and he is God, then I want literally nothing to do with him. Demanding that you hate your family is just about one of the most evil things I can imagine. I say this as a guy who has lost his family, and who has only recently gotten back together with some of that family.
Kinda suspicious, don't you think, that that verse is never mentioned in mass, or told to the kids?

Pawwed Rig

Well it was Luke that said it really. Bearing in mind that Luke was the only one to talk of the birth in Bethlehem* in an attempt to get it to match with the ancient prophesies. I often wonder why Luke's gospel was chosen over some others that were omitted as it would be one of the more controversial but again it may be to justify the old prophesies.

*there was no Roman census around that time and the idea that you would need to go to your town of origin to be counted is ludicrous and defeats the whole purpose of a census

RikuoAmero

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Well it was Luke that said it really. Bearing in mind that Luke was the only one to talk of the birth in Bethlehem* in an attempt to get it to match with the ancient prophesies. I often wonder why Luke's gospel was chosen over some others that were omitted as it would be one of the more controversial but again it may be to justify the old prophesies.

*there was no Roman census around that time and the idea that you would need to go to your town of origin to be counted is ludicrous and defeats the whole purpose of a census

I know. As I said, IF Jesus really did say that. If it turns out he didn't, then this means that the supposedly one true holy book has false words in it. If that's the case...then the entire thing is to be questioned.

Pawwed Rig

RikuoAmero wrote: »

I know. As I said, IF Jesus really did say that. If it turns out he didn't, then this means that the supposedly one true holy book has false words in it. If that's the case...then the entire thing is to be questioned.

Well it contradicts the honour your parents from Exodus so only one can be the correct course.

Cantremember

Now now, it's a question of interpretation. You have to have it explained. He's really saying that you have to put the Kingdom of heaven first and its a rhetorical flourish. Like saying if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out. He means the opposite. Because then everybody would be blind. It's hyperbole. Isn't it? Does it matter anymore? 2000 year old sayings of an obscure Palestinian. Are we capable of making up our own minds yet?

Pawwed Rig

Cantremember wrote: »

Are we capable of making up our own minds yet?

Sacriledge. You will accept what you're told with no questions. Remember doubting Thomas???

RikuoAmero

Cantremember wrote: »

Now now, it's a question of interpretation. You have to have it explained. He's really saying that you have to put the Kingdom of heaven first and its a rhetorical flourish. Like saying if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out. He means the opposite. Because then everybody would be blind. It's hyperbole. Isn't it? Does it matter anymore? 2000 year old sayings of an obscure Palestinian. Are we capable of making up our own minds yet?

So what you're saying is just ignore what's written on the page and make up what you think it means? So when it says "Hate your family", ignore it, and just say what you think is written there?
Cool. I'm going to read Genesis next, and instead of eating a magic apple, I'm going to say that it says Eve was tempted onto riding a T Rex, causing mayhem and destruction in Eden.

Akrasia

Dave Allen special on BBC 2 now is dedicated totally to his religion jokes. Hilarious

Worztron

Aenaes

Worztron

RikuoAmero wrote: »

...Kinda suspicious, don't you think, that that verse is never mentioned in mass, or told to the kids?

They brainwash the kids + silly adults with the highly edited version of the crap.

Worztron

Lucifer MorningStar