The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

Turtwig

Sadly,
That analogy often fails because religious types can often see 'abstinence' as a position or stance. Working, off the 'ideological' stance meaning of the word.

Lucifer MorningStar

Turtwig

Mod abuse #infinity plus one
Season four and five of archer have been added to Irish Netflix.

Hopefully some folks here will get the core concept. If not I'll ban ye!

Absolam

Turtwig wrote: »

Sadly,
That analogy often fails because religious types can often see 'abstinence' as a position or stance. Working, off the 'ideological' stance meaning of the word.

As opposed to the 'this is where you place your feet when engaged in this act' meaning of the word? This may be the germ of a hilarious christian comedy of errors sketch. I must fetch my pipe and slippers forthwith.

Worztron

gaynorvader

Sulla Felix

Babies are a subset of children, right? Meh, it'll do.

coolhull

Sulla Felix wrote: »

''Burgers, hot dogs, children etc''? That's an unusual menu.

Nolars

Worztron

Worztron

Lucifer MorningStar

Worztron

Lucifer MorningStar

Cabaal

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/06/18/god-was-unaware-of-church-sex-abuse-scandals-claims-vatican/

God Was ‘Unaware’ Of Church Sex Abuse Scandals, Claims Vatican

THE VATICAN last night dismissed suggestions that the God our father had any knowledge of sexual abuse scandals committed by 4,392 Catholic priests over the past 60 years.

A spokesperson for the Vatican denied that God, 84tn-years-old, knew about the ongoing molestations prior to the first reported case twenty five years ago.

The supernatural creator and overseer of the universe is named with hundreds of other church officials in a letter written in 2005 suggesting he, and all those who worked for him, were aware of paedophile priests.

Yesterday, Vatican spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi said he only learned about the allegations against God earlier this year when a copy of the letter was emailed to him, and was “shocked” by the news of the charges........

Worztron

Delirium

gaynorvader

Gbear

Sometimes I forget how truly brilliant the first 5 series of Futurama were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSeO0M4nwuk

Hotblack Desiato

Gbear wrote: »

Sometimes I forget how truly brilliant the first 5 series of Futurama were.

Not a patch on this though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5mWQFGF7w8

'..and god vanished in a puff of logic.' Well that planted a seed. I was ten


Wish Dawkins would write a book called 'Well That About Wraps It Up For God.' :pac:

PopePalpatine

Scheisse, that reminds me, I left my copy of the Hitchhikers' quadrilogy on the train to Birmingham.

Hotblack Desiato

You should have left it on a train to somewhere where they'd understand it :pac:

Buuuuurminumm?

'Shaaaroooonn!!!'

Worztron

Lucifer MorningStar

Worztron

Lucifer MorningStar

Worztron

Delirium

AstraMonti

CLINICAL STUDY SHOWS ATHEISTS HAVE FAR LOWER IQ'S THAN BELIEVERS

Cabaal

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/06/23/church-to-remove-angelus-from-rte-over-macgrianna-wedding/

WWN has today learned that the Catholic Church has called to remove the Angelus from it’s coveted prime time spot on RTE following the wedding of Aengus MacGrianna to his long-term partner at the weekend.

49-year-old MacGrianna, who was walked down the aisle by former RTE colleague and close friend Anne Doyle, married his boyfriend of ten years Terry Gill in an intimate ceremony at Ballymacgarvey County House and Estate.

The joyous union, which at time of publication was causing no ill effects to any facet of society in the slightest, is being treated as the final straw by members of the church who see it as a further undermining of the fundamental Christian morals on which RTE was founded. In retaliation, the Church intend to strip the state broadcaster of the rights to air The Angelus, the longest running TV show in Irish history.

“Two lads marrying each other in a ****in’ hotel, are you ****in’ having me on, hi” said Monsignor Pete Muldoon, chief spokesperson for production company Vaticantastic TV.

“RTE have shat all over the St. Bridgets Cross for the last time. There was a time when they were a friend to the church; maybe turn a blind eye to the odd scandalous headline or two. But now, their leading anchorman is a gay lad who got married to another gay lad? And they think we’re going to let them keep the Angelus? **** that”.

RTE have responded to the news by announcing they have no notion of taking any action against MacGrianna, and have conceded the loss of Irelands number one bell-based show.

The announcement also stated that the Six-One News will not be re-named, and that they would just show another ad or two to make up the time. Mr. MacGrianna, honeymooning in Greece, was unavailable for comment.

In a further shocking development, rumours abound that rival station TV3 are about to make a multi-hundred euro bid to secure the rights to the prestigious religious programme. The beleaguered broadcaster, licking it’s wounds following the loss of Coronation Street and Emmerdale, is expected to relaunch the Angelus with a fresh new look in the Autumn.

This fresh take is said to better represent modern Ireland, and will replace the familiar “gong” sound with the “bwaaam” from the Inception trailer, set against scenes of people emigrating, protesting against the installation of water meters, and watching crime based programmes on TV3.

Love the last part,
For anyone that watches honest trailers you'll know this gets a good mention in loads of the trailers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2cS5Fv5xIQ