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Have you got a penis beaker?

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2

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    #32
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    princess-lala wrote: »
    Maybe they boil the kettle before they go up!

    Then by the time they're done washing before sex that they undoubtedly have to do too, get the ride and the water has cooled down to warm enough for willy washing :D

    :D

    You wouldn't want to be mixing up the wrong beakers and taking a mouthful of dirty willy water during the night by mistake!


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    #33
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Just wipe it on the curtains like a real man.

    The ladies love that.


    No they don't.








    Wipe it in the hair. They DO love that. Go mad for it, truth be told.


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    #34
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,230 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Put a ginger wig on your lad and make an instant penis Beaker


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    #35
    Ihatecuddles-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??


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    #36
    Rezident
    Registered Users Posts: 1,780 ✭✭✭Rezident


    No but I knew a girl once who would wipe me clean with wet wipes afterwards. It was really nice actually and I would highly recommend it for any of the ladies that want to make your man feel special.


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    #37
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    I just let it crust up then pick it clean later


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    #38
    Jimminy Mc Fukhead
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 305 ✭✭Jimminy Mc Fukhead


    Should the penis beaker be provided by the state.

    Not an ornate, fancy beaker like rich couples have. The social welfare, medical card version. Simple - Utilitarian.

    Can hard pressed families stretching to make ends meet aford to go out and buy their own penis beaker. Mortgages and bills. This might the straw that breaks the camels back.
    It would have to be means tested of course.

    Whats the governments position on this as we approach the budget. They need to release a statement.


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    #39
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Temptamperu wrote: »
    It does if you dont wash... what the hell dude :confused:

    I never said I don't wash. I just don't shower twice a day.


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    #40
    Ihatecuddles-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

    Reminds me of Sydney Fife's jerk-off station in I Love You, Man.

    http://076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com/images/files/000/349/802/original/original.jpg


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    #41
    tosspot15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 175 ✭✭tosspot15


    A penis beaker? the fúck is up with some people? Just take a shower like any normal person.


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    #42
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    A shower after is preferable but not everyone sweats profusely during love-making.

    Running it under the tap is good enough if you're in a hurry.

    You'd want to get to the tap soon after the act though, if you lose the semi you're going to have to ladle the water with your hand because you just won't have the distance...well, most won't.


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    #43
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Ihatecuddles wrote: »
    Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??


    ...no, those of us who have sex with people whose fluids don't require an emergency decontamination procedure generally suit ourselves.


    (Ye wonder if theres cats trying to break in the windows or something)


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    #44
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    tosspot15 wrote: »
    A penis beaker? the fúck is up with some people? Just take a shower like any normal person.

    Apt username ;)


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    #45
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Ihatecuddles wrote: »
    Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??

    No sometimes the woman is paid to leave. :pac:


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    #46
    MurdyWurdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,043 ✭✭✭MurdyWurdy


    Great find!

    Love the post about how they know it's sexy time, FILL UP THE PENIS BEAKER!!!

    I agree with some posters there, my cat would drink the willy water. If he needs to be cleaned immediately why on earth do they not use wet wipes? If you have kids there's packs of them all over the house.


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    #47
    EPointer=Birdss
    Registered Users Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭EPointer=Birdss


    NegativeCreep wrote: »
    I plead the fifth.

    The filth?


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    #48
    RhubarbCrumble
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭RhubarbCrumble


    And for anyone who just wants the edited highlights:


    http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate


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    #49
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    My fella and I always have a towel ready by the bed.

    He needs it straight away, me about ten minutes later.

    Sexy, huh? :cool:


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    #50
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    What is a DH?

    Popping candy has a use during sex, interesting


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    #51
    mfceiling
    Registered Users Posts: 12,789 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    Remember lashing a young one out of it years ago.

    After a heavy session my micky was nearly raw, so i went downstairs into the kitchen and decided to dip it in a glass of milk that was on the table.

    The young one walked in, took one look at me and said...

    "so that's how you load it"!!


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    #52
    The Big Smoke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 402 ✭✭The Big Smoke


    April O Neill wrote: »
    My fella and I always have a towel ready by the bed.

    He needs it straight away,

    Thinly veiled "I squirt like a nympho on viagra" post.


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    #53
    Ihatecuddles-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    shruikan2553 wrote: »
    What is a DH?

    Popping candy has a use during sex, interesting

    Darling husband.
    April O Neill wrote: »
    My fella and I always have a towel ready by the bed.

    He needs it straight away, me about ten minutes later.

    Sexy, huh? :cool:

    We dont need it at all :D


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    #54
    greenflash
    Registered Users Posts: 499 ✭✭greenflash


    NegativeCreep wrote: »
    I plead the fifth.

    You want to plead the removal of the Roman Catholic church's special position from the Irish Constitution? Weird.


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    #55
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    The Big Smoke wrote: »
    Thinly veiled "I squirt like a nympho on viagra" post.

    Wow, did you ever read THAT wrong! :pac:

    Pfft, 'thinly veiled' - soooo six months ago!


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    #56
    Defiler Of The Coffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    I dip mine into milk and give it to a calf to lick


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    #57
    Lad Of Banter
    Registered Users Posts: 184 ✭✭Lad Of Banter


    I wipe it on the curtains as im climbing out the window


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    #58
    stimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭stimpson


    Deleted User wrote: »
    A shower after is preferable but not everyone sweats profusely during love-making.

    You're doing it wrong.


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    That thread is hilarious. Favourite quite so far......

    Kato just use a tommy tippee beaker the lid will prevent spillages. Just rename it dickie dippeee


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    #60
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    EPointer=Birdss wrote: »
    The filth?

    No, the fifth, as in the fifth amendment. Shtateside stuff.


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    #61
    Cody Pomeray
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,648 ✭✭✭Cody Pomeray


    "Mumsnet" is an insult to female intelligence.

    pack of pedantic, carpet scrubbing, houseproud invertebrates.

    human beings hiding behind their clitorises. spare me.


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