Have you got a penis beaker?

January

Thread over on mumsnet asking if you have a beaker for dunking your penis into after having sex...

So, do you have a penis beaker? Or any other type of penis dunking receptacle?

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

The Backwards Man

No, I have nothing to dunk my penis in before, during, or after sex.

.Henry Sellers.

Penis beaker? You mean a girls mouth.

JackieChan

The Backwards Man wrote: »

No, I have nothing to dunk my penis in before, during, or after sex.

I have a cup with a lit cigarette in it and a lid on top...when the main business is done I dip my lad into that as he likes a smoke afterwards aswell.

NegativeCreep

No. I have a shower.

dark crystal

I love how she says her husband is her first and only lover, so she thinks it's perfectly normal. How weird!

Love this reply further down:

I don't mean to be rude, but are you both so dirty that you require immediate cleaning?

That must be sexy. You do it then spring apart, you rush to the bathroom and he plunges his knob into a bucket.

You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.

Renegade Mechanic

NegativeCreep wrote: »

No. I have a shower.

Jaysus!! What do you be ridin'? :eek:

.Henry Sellers.

Just browsed that site and there's threads about a drug dependent baby and someone shitting themselves, nice find OP.:)

MadsL

Fanjo?

GTFO!

NegativeCreep

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Jaysus!! What do you be ridin'? :eek:

I plead the fifth.

wandatowell

Those moist tissues, the scented kinda. I give me chap a quick wipe. Cleaning off the goodness, then I have a shower in the AM.

kiffer

I read that as penis breaker... *shudder*

Can't he just wipe off on the edge of the sheets?

Slattsy

I just let mine drop into the toilet.
Freshly flushed of course.

Mr. CooL ICE

It's called a 'curtain'

kiffer

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I plead the fifth.

Maybe you should plead the filth...

.Henry Sellers.

wandatowell wrote: »

Those moist tissues, the scented kinda.

A used tampon?

Miike

Website took forever to load, in plain text. Worth every minute for the comedy.

wandatowell

.Henry Sellers. wrote: »

A used tampon?

jesus lad

P_1

That sounds pretty damn unhygienic to be honest

Nodin

January wrote: »

Thread over on mumsnet asking if you have a beaker for dunking your penis into after having sex...

So, do you have a penis beaker? Or any other type of penis dunking receptacle?

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

...what the jaysus is so feckin urgent that he can't wait till she gets out of the bathroom?

How the feck long is she in there?

these and other questions......

princess-lala

Eeeew :eek:

dark crystal

I'm not in posession of a penis myself, but aren't men's lads fairly, er, sensitive straight after sex?

I can't imagine dunking it in cold water straight afterwards would feel very nice.

Daveysil15

I actually do, but its nothing to do with a post sex-ritual. It's just to keep my foreskin clean. Smegma can build up easily.

princess-lala

dark crystal wrote: »

I can't imagine dunking it in cold water straight afterwards would feel very nice.

Maybe they boil the kettle before they go up!

Then by the time they're done washing before sex that they undoubtedly have to do too, get the ride and the water has cooled down to warm enough for willy washing

Pumpkinseeds

Dear God, shudders* things like that make me very glad I stayed child free:eek:

kiffer

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I actually do, but its nothing to do with a post sex-ritual. It's just to keep my foreskin clean. Smegma can build up easily.

... you have a cup/glass of water beside your bed for dipping yourself in?
Surely it's enough to just wipe clean?
I mean are people cleaming between round one and two? Or is it just an end of festivities kind of thing?

kowloon

A scrub down with 000 grade wire wool and some acetone should do it.

Daveysil15

kiffer wrote: »

... you have a cup/glass of water beside your bed for dipping yourself in?
Surely it's enough to just wipe clean?
I mean are people cleaming between round one and two? Or is it just an end of festivities kind of thing?

I think you picked that up wrong. It's nothing to do with sex, just general hygiene.

waterworld87

Instructions Weren't Clear Enough, I Got My Dick Caught in a Ceiling Fan

Just wipe it on the curtains like a real man.

The ladies love that.

Temptamperu

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I actually do, but its nothing to do with a post sex-ritual. It's just to keep my foreskin clean. Smegma can build up easily.

It does if you dont wash... what the hell dude

dark crystal

princess-lala wrote: »

Maybe they boil the kettle before they go up!

Then by the time they're done washing before sex that they undoubtedly have to do too, get the ride and the water has cooled down to warm enough for willy washing

You wouldn't want to be mixing up the wrong beakers and taking a mouthful of dirty willy water during the night by mistake!

Nodin

Deleted User wrote: »

Just wipe it on the curtains like a real man.

The ladies love that.

No they don't.








Wipe it in the hair. They DO love that. Go mad for it, truth be told.

pickarooney

Put a ginger wig on your lad and make an instant penis Beaker

Ihatecuddles-old

Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??

Rezident

No but I knew a girl once who would wipe me clean with wet wipes afterwards. It was really nice actually and I would highly recommend it for any of the ladies that want to make your man feel special.

Gummy Panda

I just let it crust up then pick it clean later

Jimminy Mc Fukhead

Should the penis beaker be provided by the state.

Not an ornate, fancy beaker like rich couples have. The social welfare, medical card version. Simple - Utilitarian.

Can hard pressed families stretching to make ends meet aford to go out and buy their own penis beaker. Mortgages and bills. This might the straw that breaks the camels back.
It would have to be means tested of course.

Whats the governments position on this as we approach the budget. They need to release a statement.

Daveysil15

Temptamperu wrote: »

It does if you dont wash... what the hell dude

I never said I don't wash. I just don't shower twice a day.

Ihatecuddles-old

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Reminds me of Sydney Fife's jerk-off station in I Love You, Man.

http://076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com/images/files/000/349/802/original/original.jpg

tosspot15

A penis beaker? the fúck is up with some people? Just take a shower like any normal person.

A shower after is preferable but not everyone sweats profusely during love-making.

Running it under the tap is good enough if you're in a hurry.

You'd want to get to the tap soon after the act though, if you lose the semi you're going to have to ladle the water with your hand because you just won't have the distance...well, most won't.

Nodin

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??

...no, those of us who have sex with people whose fluids don't require an emergency decontamination procedure generally suit ourselves.


(Ye wonder if theres cats trying to break in the windows or something)

dark crystal

tosspot15 wrote: »

A penis beaker? the fúck is up with some people? Just take a shower like any normal person.

Apt username

Daveysil15

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Am I the only one that just goes to sleep after??

No sometimes the woman is paid to leave. :pac:

MurdyWurdy

Great find!

Love the post about how they know it's sexy time, FILL UP THE PENIS BEAKER!!!

I agree with some posters there, my cat would drink the willy water. If he needs to be cleaned immediately why on earth do they not use wet wipes? If you have kids there's packs of them all over the house.

EPointer=Birdss

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I plead the fifth.

The filth?

RhubarbCrumble

And for anyone who just wants the edited highlights:


http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate

April O Neill

My fella and I always have a towel ready by the bed.

He needs it straight away, me about ten minutes later.

Sexy, huh? :cool:

shruikan2553

What is a DH?

Popping candy has a use during sex, interesting

mfceiling

Remember lashing a young one out of it years ago.

After a heavy session my micky was nearly raw, so i went downstairs into the kitchen and decided to dip it in a glass of milk that was on the table.

The young one walked in, took one look at me and said...

"so that's how you load it"!!