Butterflies

50SofG

just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes

Frank Black

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Define a bad boy?

He'll chat you up in the club, go home with you and have great sex, but in the morning he'll be gone and you'll notice later that he's written '4/10' on your arse with your lipstick.

Esoteric_

Frank Black wrote: »

He'll chat you up in the club, go home with you and have great sex, but in the morning he'll be gone and you'll notice later that he's written '4/10' on your arse with your lipstick.

I got an 8/10, does that mean he's a nice guy?

kowloon

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I got an 8/10, does that mean he's a nice guy?

A generous guy

jaffacakesyum

So basically your logic is that if a guy is nice a girl should want to date/sleep with him And if they don't, it's because the girl likes bad boys

So by that logic I should be attracted to all my male friends because I know a ton of guys, we're great friends, they're all super nice, but we're just friends. Does that mean I don't find nice guys attractive? No. It just means I don't find those men attractive.

I don't understand people who don't get this. OP, you must have female friends or have met women are really nice but you just don't feel a spark with them? That doesn't mean you don't like nice girls, it just means there's no chemistry between you and that particular woman. Pretty simple really.

BraziliaNZ

Cocky tends to mean funny and confident. Women are attracted to that, it's hardly rocket science!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I think I prefer nice boys. My ex was a bad boy (not a womaniser) but he prided himself on being an absolute jerk but when it was just both of us he was very sweet. The guy I'm into now is a nice guy, and I can't imagine I'd like him very much if he made me feel insecure and messed me around. There's a lot to be said for boys who actually give a sh!t. I can't imagine being with someone where everything was a oneupmanship.

The King of Moo

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

I'm not assuming what's causing these reactions, it just seems to be consistent that if a woman describes a man as nice she won't feel the spark.

Like I've said already, she doesn't feel that spark for any number of reasons. We don't really choose who we're attracted to, and there are so many tiny variables affecting our attraction.

But in these situations, when a woman describes a guy she's not romantically interested in as nice, she's saying he's not a bad person, but that she's not attracted to him, for whatever reason. It's not because he's nice, it could be for any reason, she just wants to show that she's not repulsed by him. Don't you have female friends you think are nice but aren't romantically interested in?

My advice is to stop overthinking things, particularly in terms of what women want, because you can only ever be yourself anyway.
So do that, be yourself, and be happy with yourself.

Jimmy 5F

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

So basically your logic is that if a guy is nice a girl should want to date/sleep with him And if they don't, it's because the girl likes bad boys

So by that logic I should be attracted to all my male friends because I know a ton of guys, we're great friends, they're all super nice, but we're just friends. Does that mean I don't find nice guys attractive? No. It just means I don't find those men attractive.

I don't understand people who don't get this. OP, you must have female friends or have met women are really nice but you just don't feel a spark with them? That doesn't mean you don't like nice girls, it just means there's no chemistry between you and that particular woman. Pretty simple really.

I find there is a strong correlation between a woman describing a man as nice and not finding him him sexually attractive.

Jimmy 5F

The King of Moo wrote: »

Like I've said already, she doesn't feel that spark for any number of reasons. We don't really choose who we're attracted to, and their are so many tiny variables affecting our attraction.

But in these situations, when a woman describes a guy she's not romantically as nice, she's saying he's not a bad person, but that she's not attracted to him, for whatever reason. It's not because he's nice, it could be for any reason, she just wants to show that she's not repulsed by him. Don't you have female friends you think are nice but aren't romantically interested in?

My advice is to stop overthinking things, particularly in terms of what women want, because you can only ever be yourself anyway.
So do that, be yourself, and be happy with yourself.

I'm thinking things exactly the right amount neither under not over. I see a strong correlation.

anncoates

It's just a rumour spread around by men that get KB'd by women in favour of men that are better looking than them.

Legs.Eleven

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

I'm thinking things exactly the right amount neither under not over. I see a strong correlation.

My science teacher at school saw the sun dance across the sky in Mexico (not messing). Because she sees it does it make it real? Hmm?

discus

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

This "women love a bad guy" bollocks is so overplayed. It´s been proven to be bollocks time and time again but it still get thrown out by fellas who believe they can read the minds of women. It´s gas.

To be fair now, good looking guys (and girls!) can be as cocky and dickish as they want, because people will still overlook these qualities in favour of getting with someone who's hot.

50SofG

look as i see it men are men and women are women, we will never think or feel the same .. so lets just get it on

50SofG

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I got an 8/10, does that mean he's a nice guy?

it means he didn't make you dinner, and you see he wouldn't even bother nuging you for breakfast ,,lol

--Kaiser--

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

My science teacher at school saw the sun dance across the sky in Mexico (not messing). Because she sees it does it make it real? Hmm?

Peyote is a hell of a drug

seenitall

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

I find there is a strong correlation between a woman describing a man as nice and not finding him him sexually attractive.

Well, hello, OP.

You seem... nice.

Women like badboys until they get one then they like niceboys until the get one. Then they like babyboys so grab the closest guy to them and settle down.

50SofG

what about the bad guy that settles down and then the woman changes him to the nice guy, then she leave him for a bad guy...
would this happen......

mygoat

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

I find there is a strong correlation between a woman describing a man as nice and not finding him him sexually attractive.

There. Just because there is a correlation, doesn't mean there is a causation.

100% of murderers admit to drinking water - does this mean that drinking water makes you a murderer? You seem to apply this kind of logic here.

Saying that, your perception is not wrong all the way. We tend to be attracted to people and situations that we are familiar with, that keep us where we already are emotionally. So, if a woman grew up in a hostile, chaotic environment and she feels emotionally unstable and insecure, she will seek out men, who are likely to keep here feeling emotionally insecure. And who will do this better than a "bad boy".

However, a woman who is emotionally healthy and secure won't be attracted to a player; she will go for a kind, stable guy - a nice man. This is clearly visible whenever a woman with emotional issues does some inner work, perhaps some counseling - once she gets over her problems, she instantly finds herself attracted to different types of men. (Same goes for men of course).

So, in conclusion - being nice is not bad for your sex life, unless you wish to have sex with emotionally insecure, unstable women

WestEnder

http://vimeo.com/41075641

Jimmy 5F

mygoat wrote: »

There. Just because there is a correlation, doesn't mean there is a causation.

100% of murderers admit to drinking water - does this mean that drinking water makes you a murderer? You seem to apply this kind of logic here.

Saying that, your perception is not wrong all the way. We tend to be attracted to people and situations that we are familiar with, that keep us where we already are emotionally. So, if a woman grew up in a hostile, chaotic environment and she feels emotionally unstable and insecure, she will seek out men, who are likely to keep here feeling emotionally insecure. And who will do this better than a "bad boy".

However, a woman who is emotionally healthy and secure won't be attracted to a player; she will go for a kind, stable guy - a nice man. This is clearly visible whenever a woman with emotional issues does some inner work, perhaps some counseling - once she gets over her problems, she instantly finds herself attracted to different types of men. (Same goes for men of course).

So, in conclusion - being nice is not bad for your sex life, unless you wish to have sex with emotionally insecure, unstable women

When exactly did I say there was causation between niceness and lack of sex appeal.

The simple point I made was if a woman describes you as nice chances are she doesn't feel those butterflies about you.

You seem happy to put words into my mouth and blatantly make things up, my logic is undeniable.

AudreyHepburn

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

From browsing through the relationships forum I noticed a theme.

It appears to be the casey that the women in there seem to be incapable of feeling "butterflies" with guys who they describe as nice. It is always the cheeky womaniser who gives them the "butterflies".

So my question is thus;

Is a man's sex life doomed if women describe him as nice?

Well they do say women like a bad boy!

The thing is though I think deep down most women really like just like the idea of a bad boy. We certainly wouldn't actually want a relationship with an abusive man or one who would treat us badly.

Todays women's magazines, tv programmes etc would have you think we women only want men who are naughty and/or will pend to our every whim. But I would hazard guess, and hope for the sake of my gender, that just the opposite is the case.

Deep down we all want a happy ever after, a good man who treats us right.

For me personally what gives me butterflies is a man who likes me for me, makes me laugh and isn't only after one thing.

Jimmy 5F

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

Well they do say women like a bad boy!

The thing is though I think deep down most women really like just like the idea of a bad boy. We certainly wouldn't actually want a relationship with an abusive man or one who would treat us badly.

Todays women's magazines, tv programmes etc would have you think we women only want men who are naughty and/or will pend to our every whim. But I would hazard guess, and hope for the sake of my gender, that just the opposite is the case.

Deep down we all want a happy ever after, a good man who treats us right.

For me personally what gives me butterflies is a man who likes me for me, makes me laugh and isn't only after one thing.

But who do you want to fukc, I think most men would be peeved if their girlfriend/wife would prefer to be fukced by a different type of guy.

jaffacakesyum

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

I find there is a strong correlation between a woman describing a man as nice and not finding him him sexually attractive.

What about all the wives, fiancés and girlfriends in the world ever who describe their partners as nice?

Nobody wants to be with someone they don't think is "nice". It's a pretty fundamental requirement for most people, men and women.

Jimmy 5F

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

What about all the wives, fiancés and girlfriends in the world ever who describe their partners as nice?

Nobody wants to be with someone they don't think is "nice". It's a pretty fundamental requirement for most people, men and women.

What about all the wives and girlfriends who see sex as a chore? Maybe if there was the spark it wouldn't be such a chore.

hoodwinked

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

From browsing through the relationships forum I noticed a theme.

It appears to be the casey that the women in there seem to be incapable of feeling "butterflies" with guys who they describe as nice. It is always the cheeky womaniser who gives them the "butterflies".

So my question is thus;

Is a man's sex life doomed if women describe him as nice?

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

When exactly did I say there was causation between niceness and lack of sex appeal.

The simple point I made was if a woman describes you as nice chances are she doesn't feel those butterflies about you.

You seem happy to put words into my mouth and blatantly make things up, my logic is undeniable.

pretty close no? :eek:

AudreyHepburn

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

But who do you want to fukc, I think most men would be peeved if their girlfriend/wife would prefer to be fukced by a different type of guy.

I am attracted to nice guys so if a man is a gentleman, treats me well, makes me laugh and is generally nice person there is a good chance I will be interested in him in every way, including intimately.

But that's just me personally and I don't doubt there are some women out there who would tell me I am boring and missing out.

Jimmy 5F

hoodwinked wrote: »

pretty close no? :eek:

No not really, correlation is not causation.

Femme_Fatale

Some women definitely do go for utter arseholes, probably due to thinking they can change them. Most, from what I've observed, grow out of that though.
I'd say the majority who go for "bad boys" are drawn in by their "charm" rather than their "badness" - i.e. they think the guy is actually a lovely guy, and it's too late when they find out what he's really like. They're smitten at that stage.