Butterflies

Jimmy 5F

From browsing through the relationships forum I noticed a theme.

It appears to be the casey that the women in there seem to be incapable of feeling "butterflies" with guys who they describe as nice. It is always the cheeky womaniser who gives them the "butterflies".

So my question is thus;

Is a man's sex life doomed if women describe him as nice?

Festy

Women love bad boys,nothing new there.

mattjack

Browsing round these parts means " lurking " or in extreme cases " stalking ".

Jimmy 5F

Festy wrote: »

Women love bad boys,nothing new there.

The guys they like aren't bad really, they don't drown kittens, just like womanising and being cheeky.

CommanderC

He's nice = He's butt ugly.

That's why they are not interested.

Itwasntme.

:mad: This thread is not about butterflies.

kowloon

'Nice' is how you describe dinner when it's not great but you don't want to upset the chef. It's not quite up their with wanting to jump his bones. So 'Nice' is bad, it's Rich Tea sitting next to the Chocolate Digestives.

Virgil°

This has been done to death really. The guys who describe themselves as nice but also whine about not being able to attract women tend to think that pandering to a girls every whim is attractive.

They haven't quite realised that in order to be nice you don't have to surgically remove your spinal column.

Jimmy 5F

Virgil° wrote: »

This has been done to death really. The guys who describe themselves as nice but also whine about not being able to attract women tend to think that pandering to a girls every whim is attractive.

They haven't quite realised that in order to be nice you don't have to surgically remove your spinal column.

This isn't about guys who describe themselves as nice.

This is about the guys who women describe as nice and how they don't seem to get butterflies for the guys they describe as nice.

This is NOT about guys who describe themselves as nice.

Virgil°

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

This isn't about guys who describe themselves as nice.

This is about the guys who women describe as nice and how they don't seem to get butterflies for the guys they describe as nice.

This is NOT about guys who describe themselves as nice.

Ahh i get ye. Yeah ok then, its an excuse used by women to flatteringly describe a person they won't allow enter them. There.

Jonny7

I know a few "nice" girls that guys aren't the slightest bit interested in

Ihatecuddles-old

My boyfriend is nice, the nicest person I've ever met actually.... First time I've been with a nice guy, normally I'd be with the 'bad boy' type.

I have to admit that I still get butterflies when I see him

50SofG

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

From browsing through the relationships forum I noticed a theme.

It appears to be the casey that the women in there seem to be incapable of feeling "butterflies" with guys who they describe as nice. It is always the cheeky womaniser who gives them the "butterflies".

So my question is thus;

Is a man's sex life doomed if women describe him as nice?

women love a nice bad boy, nice when she needs it, bad when he does.

50SofG

CommanderC wrote: »

He's nice = He's butt ugly.

That's why they are not interested.

women saying men are nice is like men saying ah she has a great sense of humor
both = butt ugly

Jimmy 5F

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

My boyfriend is nice, the nicest person I've ever met actually.... First time I've been with a nice guy, normally I'd be with the 'bad boy' type.

I have to admit that I still get butterflies when I see him

Would other women describe him as nice?

Ihatecuddles-old

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

Would other women describe him as nice?

My friends described him as funny and really sweet. They all did that 'Aww, he's so lovely, you're so lucky'

Talib Fiasco

Women love a challenge apparently. They love something they can't get easy. Nice guys don't do that. It all comes down to a gut feeling literally and a 'nice guy's' behaviour generally doesn't excite or challenge the majority of women. Also it could be said that nice guys try to be her best friend first and then go for it which more often than not results in rejection due to the woman seeing him as "just friends".

Esoteric_

Jesus, the generalisations about women here.


I don't like 'a challenge,' I don't like 'bad boys,' I don't like arseholes. I like nice guys. Why would I want to date an arsehole or someone I have to spend my time chasing and hoping he'll grant a bit of his time to me?

Pft. If I call a guy nice, I mean he's nice. I call my friends nice, and I love my friends, so calling a bloke 'nice' isn't a bad thing.

The Backwards Man

Red Admirals are my favourite, clsely followed by the ones with the green wings and the pink dots.

50SofG

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Jesus, the generalisations about women here.


I don't like 'a challenge,' I don't like 'bad boys,' I don't like arseholes. I like nice guys. Why would I want to date an arsehole or someone I have to spend my time chasing and hoping he'll grant a bit of his time to me?

Pft. If I call a guy nice, I mean he's nice. I call my friends nice, and I love my friends, so calling a bloke 'nice' isn't a bad thing.

now that clears all that up. so be nice, maybe guys are mistaken women been attracted to a confident guy with a bad guy.
i don't see how women can like bad guys my self but what is a bad guy anyway??

CruelCoin

Jimmy 5F wrote: »

From browsing through the relationships forum I noticed a theme.

It appears to be the casey that the women in there seem to be incapable of feeling "butterflies" with guys who they describe as nice. It is always the cheeky womaniser who gives them the "butterflies".

So my question is thus;

Is a man's sex life doomed if women describe him as nice?

Women can be shallow, so can men.

Sadly there are a lot of women who can't get out of the primeval "must good mate, good mate many food".

Funny how so far on, there are still so many people who's whole life revolves around mating.

Festy

So what does a girl say when she's a good looking guy and gets butterflies ?

Hi I'm (name) you're a cnut,now lets have sex ?

:pac:

kowloon

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Pft. If I call a guy nice, I mean he's nice. I call my friends nice, and I love my friends, so calling a bloke 'nice' isn't a bad thing.

It's not a word that conveys strong affection though. I'm not saying it's bad, in general, to be called nice, but it's very lacklustre. If someone said I was nice and left it at that I'd take it as a sign of disinterest.

Esoteric_

50SofG wrote: »

now that clears all that up. so be nice, maybe guys are mistaken women been attracted to a confident guy with a bad guy.
i don't see how women can like bad guys my self but what is a bad guy anyway??

nice guys can be confident, too. nice doesn't mean shy, insecure and retiring.

I would imagine a bad guy is the typical stereotype - lets you down, lets you do the chasing, plays hard to get, etc etc.

The King of Moo

Generalisations all round.

Not all women want only one type of man, and not all men fall into a simplistic binary opposition between nice doormats and cocky bad boys.

If there's one thing that most people of both sexes are attracted to it's a reasonable degree of self-confidence. It's possible to have this and be either nice or a bad boy. In fact, I believe that the more outwardly a person appears to be a bad boy, the less self-confidence they might have. Why else would they need such an overt display of apparent confidence? But then some of them are obviously genuinely confident, because we're all individuals.

Some people will say a person they don't like is nice as a polite way to let them down. But it's usually very clear from a range of signals that they have no interest in this person, and it's not simply because they're nice. If someone says "you're nice but..." it means they're not interested in you despite you being nice, not because of it.
But that doesn't mean that being nice is inherently unattractive. Being a selfless doormat is usually unattractive, but not being nice.
If someone says you're nice but isn't interested in you, you have to take a look at the real reasons they're not interested in you, and not take the easy option and blame them for only liking bad boys.

50SofG

Esoteric_ wrote: »

nice guys can be confident, too. nice doesn't mean shy, insecure and retiring.

I would imagine a bad guy is the typical stereotype - lets you down, lets you do the chasing, plays hard to get, etc etc.

ok well maybe jimmy 5 is talking about the first initial attaction both men and women have, do you look at the strong fit guy full of confidence and think wow,(as men do fit sexy women) or do you look at the nerdy type and think wow.
which one gives you butterflies first...lets not talk about people you alrighty know .

i think that was J5 point.

Jimmy 5F

The King of Moo wrote: »

Generalisations all round.

Not all women want only one type of man, and not all men fall into a simplistic binary opposition between nice doormats and cocky bad boys.

If there's one thing that most people of both sexes are attracted to it's a reasonable degree of self-confidence. It's possible to have this and be either nice or a bad boy. In fact, I believe that the more outwardly a person appears to be a bad boy, the less self-confidence they might have. Why else would they need such an overt display of apparent confidence? But then some of them are obviously genuinely confident, because we're all individuals.

Some people will say a person they don't like is nice as a polite way to let them down. But it's usually very clear from a range of signals that they have no interest in this person, and it's not simply because they're nice. If someone says "you're nice but..." it means they're not interested in you despite you being nice, not because of it.
But that doesn't mean that being nice is inherently unattractive. Being a selfless doormat is usually unattractive, but not being nice.
If someone says you're nice but isn't interested in you, you have to take a look at the real reasons they're not interested in you, and not take the easy option and blame them for only liking bad boys.

Have a read through the relationship issues forum, consistently women don't feel "butterflies", "the spark" or "chemistry for the guy who they describe as nice.

I would be gutted if women described me as a nice, it would mean women don't particularly want to have sex with me.

Talib Fiasco

So what are the qualities, typical of a 'nice guy' that are really attractive to women? I'm not trying to give a dig here, I'm genuinely interested. That comment there about not liking being labelled 'nice' struck me. I hate it when a girl calls me nice. It usually goes in hand with funny and friendly. They're lovely compliments but in fairness I know I'm friendly and relatively confident already. I honestly get a bigger kick out of girls who call me cocky eventhough they probably don't even mean it. Sure she probably means well but like nice is something you'd call a family dinner even though it was boring and bland af.

Legs.Eleven

Define a bad boy?

Esoteric_

50SofG wrote: »

ok well maybe jimmy 5 is talking about the first initial attaction both men and women have, do you look at the strong fit guy full of confidence and think wow,(as men do fit sexy women) or do you look at the nerdy type and think wow.
which one gives you butterflies first...lets not talk about people you alrighty know .

i think that was J5 point.

Neither really. I like 'average' guys. I don't go for the nerdy type, and I don't go for muscles either. Actually, I don't like 6 packs at all. :pac:

But the OP was talking about getting butterflies from a 'nice' guy, I'm not gonna know by just looking at a guy if he's 'nice' or not.

kowloon

The King of Moo wrote: »

Some people will say a person they don't like is nice as a polite way to let them down. But it's usually very clear from a range of signals that they have no interest in this person, and it's not simply because they're nice. If someone says "you're nice but..." it means they're not interested in you despite you being nice, not because of it..

It has become the shorthand for the gentle let down. I find when someone is interested they have quite a few stronger adjectives in their arsenal. Nice alone suggests friendship.