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Butterflies

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24

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    #32
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    :mad: This thread is not about butterflies.

    Butterfly and Insect Forum that way
    >


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    #33
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    TheComeUp wrote: »
    So what are the qualities, typical of a 'nice guy' that are really attractive to women? I'm not trying to give a dig here, I'm genuinely interested. That comment there about not liking being labelled 'nice' struck me. I hate it when a girl calls me nice. It usually goes in hand with funny and friendly. They're lovely compliments but in fairness I know I'm friendly and relatively confident already. I honestly get a bigger kick out of girls who call me cocky eventhough they probably don't even mean it. Sure she probably means well but like nice is something you'd call a family dinner even though it was boring and bland af.

    Although I'm a woman, I'd see those characteristics as a good thing. I'd be attracted to somebody who is 'nice, friendly and funny.' I wouldn't be at all attracted to somebody I perceive as being 'cocky.'


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    #34
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,689 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    What you do is, after the first date, get her a massive bunch of roses and write 'I love you always' on the card.

    Chicks love that shit.


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    #35
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Cathal Cloch wrote: »
    What you do is get her a massive bunch of roses and write 'I love you always' after the first date.

    Chicks love that shit.

    They have to be hand delivered, no being lazy and paying a florist to deliver them!


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    #36
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    Have a read through the relationship issues forum, consistently women don't feel "butterflies", "the spark" or "chemistry for the guy who they describe as nice.

    I would be gutted if women described me as a nice, it would mean women don't particularly want to have sex with me.

    Exactly. Like I said, in those cases, they're not interested in them, and are saying they're nice simply to have one nice thing to say about, and let them down easily. It's also a nicer way to say someone's socially awkward or shy.

    But that doesn't mean that the niceness is the problem. It might be their shyness, their aloofness, their lack of good looks, their personal hygiene, their self-consciousness, their obvious desperation in looking for a woman, anything, but it's probably not their niceness.
    What usually gives people butterflies is a charisma, a sexiness, and that and niceness are not mutually exclusive. It's just that if a woman's talking about getting butterflies in her stomach, she's not going to talk about whether the guy's nice or not, because the niceness probably isn't what's giving her that feeling.

    Of course, some women do like the stereotypical bad boy (we're all different and have our own tastes, which no-one should blame us for), and some of those will probably be some of the people posting Relationship Issues.
    And I also wouldn't take the Relationship Issues forum as a barometer for the average Irish women's tastes. The clue's in the second word of the forum's name.


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    #37
    Talib Fiasco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,428 ✭✭✭Talib Fiasco


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    Although I'm a woman, I'd see those characteristics as a good thing. I'd be attracted to somebody who is 'nice, friendly and funny.' I wouldn't be at all attracted to somebody I perceive as being 'cocky.'

    Well good for you. You clearly have strong fixed values when it comes to men and I gotta respect that. Don't get me wrong, I don't like to be called cocky. I think it's a sly remark but those same girls are the ones who seem to be most interested in me and vice versa. I'm attracted to girls who're well able to put up with banter etc. Sure they don't have to call me cocky for me to notice this but I think it's a nice change. I guess I might change my outlook when I leave college and am in the 'real world'.


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    #38
    50SofG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭50SofG


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    They have to be hand delivered, no being lazy and paying a florist to deliver them!
    maybe i'll put them on the table when i make dinner for you;)


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    #39
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    50SofG wrote: »
    maybe i'll put them on the table when i make dinner for you;)

    You're too nice if you cook me dinner. I don't want you.


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    #40
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    I'm confused, when did I start finding bad boys attractive? What is a bad boy??

    Seriously, this thread is a load of ****e, when I first met my now husband, I wasn't all "oh, look he's so bad, I must be with him!" , I met a normal guy, he didn't seem like a psycho, looked like he washed on a regular basis, made me laugh, looked handsome and it was obvious his mammy wasn't still dressing him.

    He was interested in me and I was interested in him and the more we met up the more interesting we were to each other. We became best friends and the sexy time was great. That's generally how relationships start.

    There really isn't any more to it than that....... This bad boy, nice guy nonsense doesn't really happen outside of films.


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    #41
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    TheComeUp wrote: »
    Well good for you. You clearly have strong fixed values when it comes to men and I gotta respect that. Don't get me wrong, I don't like to be called cocky. I think it's a sly remark but those same girls are the ones who seem to be most interested in me and vice versa. I'm attracted to girls who're well able to put up with banter etc. Sure they don't have to call me cocky for me to notice this but I think it's a nice change. I guess I might change my outlook when I leave college and am in the 'real world'.

    Yeah, that makes sense. If women jokingly calling you cocky are the same women who are attracted to you, then it makes sense that in a way, you'd prefer being called cocky to 'funny.'


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    #42
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    whatdoicare wrote: »
    I'm confused, when did I start finding bad boys attractive? What is a bad boy??

    A lad in a black leather biker jacket, who drop kicks kittens and puppies.


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    #43
    50SofG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭50SofG


    TheComeUp wrote: »
    Well good for you. You clearly have strong fixed values when it comes to men and I gotta respect that. Don't get me wrong, I don't like to be called cocky. I think it's a sly remark but those same girls are the ones who seem to be most interested in me and vice versa. I'm attracted to girls who're well able to put up with banter etc. Sure they don't have to call me cocky for me to notice this but I think it's a nice change. I guess I might change my outlook when I leave college and am in the 'real world'.

    i'm in the real world a long time now, i'm nice and can be bad at times (we all Can)
    i've been accused of both. i walk with my confidence high and i love to be nice to my woman, a lot of woman i know say i'm a nice man,
    as a stronge confident fit man i much rather be call a "nice guy"
    maybe i'm just older and wiser now,


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    #44
    50SofG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭50SofG


    Esoteric_ wrote: »
    You're too nice if you cook me dinner. I don't want you.
    grant i'll just nuge you for breakfast so


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    #45
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Bad as in a criminal?? Or someone who tortures dogs? What´s a bad boy? Please answer the question.


    I´m a sucker for nice fellas. I´ve always gone for them but they´ve also had a load of other attributes to go along with that. Sometimes I meet a nice guy but he´s lacking something that I find attractive (not badness) but I might just say, "Nice guy but I don´t find him attractive". The fact that he´s nice is not what has turned me off. My fella is niceness incarnate. I don´t know a nicer fella and he gives me the serious butterflies


    This "women love a bad guy" bollocks is so overplayed. It´s been proven to be bollocks time and time again but it still get thrown out by fellas who believe they can read the minds of women. It´s gas.


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    #46
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    50SofG wrote: »
    grant i'll just nuge you for breakfast so

    No, ty.


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    #47
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    i would describe my husband as nice, and no our sex life wasn't doomed!

    he may be a 'nice' guy as in he's polite, mannerly, easy to get along with, easy to have fun with, an all round decent guy, respectful...etc


    but when it comes to our sex life he doesn't say "excuse me do you mind if i enter you" there is a time and a place for 'being nice' and he knows thats not the bedroom,

    he never sat around thinking "gosh im such a nice fellow, why don't i have a girlfriend" instead he went out with friends had a laugh, and bumped into me! :D


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    #48
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,689 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoW-zgKGnDI


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    #49
    Jimmy 5F
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 122 ✭✭Jimmy 5F


    whatdoicare wrote: »
    I'm confused, when did I start finding bad boys attractive? What is a bad boy??

    Seriously, this thread is a load of ****e, when I first met my now husband, I wasn't all "oh, look he's so bad, I must be with him!" , I met a normal guy, he didn't seem like a psycho, looked like he washed on a regular basis, made me laugh, looked handsome and it was obvious his mammy wasn't still dressing him.

    He was interested in me and I was interested in him and the more we met up the more interesting we were to each other. We became best friends and the sexy time was great. That's generally how relationships start.

    There really isn't any more to it than that....... This bad boy, nice guy nonsense doesn't really happen outside of films.

    If you look through the relationship issues again and again women say they don't feel the raw attraction for the guy who they describe as nice. This is real life and I see it a lot outside of an Internet forum. Then guys women end up having sex with are rarely described by the these women as nice. I'd view it as a red flag if I was repeatedly being described as nice that I'm being sexually unatteactive to women.


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    #50
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    If you look through the relationship issues again and again women say they don't feel the raw attraction for the guy who they describe as nice. This is real life and I see it a lot outside of an Internet forum. Then guys women end up having sex with are rarely described by the these women as nice. I'd view it as a red flag if I was repeatedly being described as nice that I'm being sexually unatteactive to women.

    Like I've already said, it's not necessarily the niceness they have a problem with. It could be any of a number of things, but they want to have something nice to say about the person, so they say they're nice.


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    #51
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    If you look through the relationship issues again and again women say they don't feel toting w attraction for the as nice. it a lot outside of an Internet forum. Then guys women end up having sex with are rarely described by the these women as nice. I'd view it as a red flag if I was repeatedly being described as women that I'm being sexually unatteactive to women.

    That's a load of nonsense, I've never had conversations with my friends about bad boys or any of that. Sexual attraction for women is not based on how much like a bad boy you act. You've gotten this stupidity into your head somehow and tbh I'd say the whole reason women aren't going for you is because you're trying to be someone you're not and it probably comes across as really obvious. women (and generally everyone) can see if a guy or girl is trying too hard or acting fake and will mostly steer clear of them.

    Women just want a guy who'll treat them like a normal person and show they care about them. That's about it. Acting like a cocky ass because you think it's what women want isn't going to get you far, sure how are you going to keep that pretense up when you're living together?

    Just be yourself and that's all you need to be. Anything else and your doing yourself an injustice.


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    #52
    Jimmy 5F
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 122 ✭✭Jimmy 5F


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    Like I've already said, it's not necessarily the niceness they have a problem with. It could be any of a number of things, but they want to have something nice to say about the person, so they say they're nice.

    I don't want to be too specific, but in one particular thread in the relationships forum, a woman describes two guys, one is so easy to talk to, he's nice as well. The other is a womaniser. She feels no spark for the guy she describes as nice. There's nothing wrong with guy, he is easy to talk to and they get on great but there is no spark. With the womaniser she does feel the spark. When women describe guys as nice I think they genuinely do think they are nice.


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    #53
    Festy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭Festy


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    I don't want to be too specific, but in one particular thread in the relationships forum, a woman describes two guys, one is so easy to talk to, he's nice as well. The other is a womaniser. She feels no spark for the guy she describes as nice. There's nothing wrong with guy, he is easy to talk to and they get on great but there is no spark. With the womaniser she does feel the spark. When women describe guys as nice I think they genuinely do think they are nice.

    Perhaps the nice guy in this case comes across as to clingy and maybe has doormat printed on his forehead.I do know that can be big turn off for women.


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    #54
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    want my 5F wrote: »
    I don't want to be too specific, but in one particular thread in the forum, a woman describes two guys easy to talk to, he's nice as well. The other is a womaniser. She feels no spark for the guy she describes as nice. There's nothing wrong with guy, he is easy to talk to and they get on great but there is no spark. With the womaniser she does feel the spark. When women describe guys as nice I think they genuinely do think they are nice.

    And you want to be with a girl like that?Someone with obvious self confidence issues who feels the need to get involved in an abusive relationship?Really?


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    #55
    Jimmy 5F
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 122 ✭✭Jimmy 5F


    Festy wrote: »
    Perhaps the nice guy in this case comes across as to clingy.I do know that can be big turn off for women.

    Who knows? The one lesson to take is don't behave in a way which causes women to describe you as nice, not if you value your sex life.


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    #56
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    I don't want to be too specific, but in one particular thread in the relationships forum, a woman describes two guys, one is so easy to talk to, he's nice as well. The other is a womaniser. She feels no spark for the guy she describes as nice. There's nothing wrong with guy, he is easy to talk to and they get on great but there is no spark. With the womaniser she does feel the spark. When women describe guys as nice I think they genuinely do think they are nice.

    First of all, why do you think him being nice is the reason for the lack of spark? Do you assume she's attracted to the womaniser solely because he's a womaniser?
    What about their myriad other qualities?

    Second, what do all the other women in the world think?


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    #57
    50SofG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭50SofG


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    Who knows? The one lesson to take is don't behave in a way which causes women to describe you as nice, not if you value your sex life.

    see hoodwink's message,
    being nice has nothing to do with sex life,
    "lady in the street and a freak in the bed"
    confidence man you got to stand stronge and show confidence,
    take control of what you want and just go over and ask this girl out,

    this is obviously about a girl, that the mind set that there is absolutuly no reason why some girl would not like you and show it off


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    #58
    Jimmy 5F
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 122 ✭✭Jimmy 5F


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    First of all, why do you think him being nice is the reason for the lack of spark? Do you assume she's attracted to the womaniser solely because he's a womaniser?
    What about their myriad other qualities?

    Second, what do all the other women in the world think?


    I'm not assuming what's causing these reactions, it just seems to be consistent that if a woman describes a man as nice she won't feel the spark.


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    #59
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,407 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    but when it comes to our sex life he doesn't say "excuse me do you mind if i enter you" there is a time and a place for 'being nice' and he knows thats not the bedroom,

    Victorian role play :pac:


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    #60
    50SofG
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭50SofG


    this post reminds me of a tale.
    the old wise bull on the hill over looking the cows,
    the young bull running up to him all excited and nervous,
    "lets run down there and shag one of those cows" says the young bull
    no! the wise confident older bull says.
    the young bull looks confused
    "lets walk down there the shag all of them"


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    #61
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Jimmy 5F wrote: »
    I don't want to be too specific, but in one particular thread in the relationships forum, a woman describes two guys, one is so easy to talk to, he's nice as well. The other is a womaniser. She feels no spark for the guy she describes as nice. There's nothing wrong with guy, he is easy to talk to and they get on great but there is no spark. With the womaniser she does feel the spark. When women describe guys as nice I think they genuinely do think they are nice.

    Nothing was said in that thread about not fancying the guy because he's 'nice.' She just happened to not fancy him and happened to fancy the arsehole.


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