Accepting a post pregnancy body

Siuin

wolfpawnat wrote: »

People tell you "the younger you have children, the easier it is to recover"

Nah, don't worry about it- it's really not true at all. My mom was a size 12-14 when she had me at 37 years old (I was born 11 months after my brother). One year later she was down to a size 8 and now at 60 years old she's a size 6-8 and looking better than ever. That said, she did say that after I was born she "didn't have time to eat anymore"...!

Das Kitty

I was pretty lucky with my pregnancy and how my body changed.

I was quite heavy afterwards and only piled on more weight as I was both depressed and eating for convenience over anything else. However the general shape of my body was good. I had a much nicer dip from my hip to my waist than I had prior.

My tummy sagged a lot until I started to lose weight, and I genuinely believe that the healthier diet and gentle weight loss (about a pound a week) woke up the skin elasticity. As I got slimmer, the skin on my tummy contracted. Now it still had that sort of "vellum" texture but it wasn't visible anymore.

I breastfed and I do have some scarring on one of my nipples, but it eventually stopped being tender. +1 on what Ivy said about it not being the feeding that can leave the breasts looking empty but the weight gain and engorgement (that pretty much every woman will get regardless of their feeding choice). Mine are pretty similar to what they were before. (Lucky again)

I have had problems with piles since, on and off. That's the one thing I really wish I could change. I'm not even 12 weeks pregnant this time and I'm already feeling it.

ash23

I was always unhappy with my body, even pre-kids. I was self conscious and awkward and I felt unattractive and just very paranoid that people were looking at me.

My body has definitely taken a rough ride to where I am now. Surgeries, pregnancy, weight gain, weight loss, MS.......it's been battered and stretched and deformed and malfunctioned.......but I'm far more happy in my own skin than I ever was as a blemish free teenager.
It was definitely a change in mindset as opposed to a physical change. I no longer care what people think and I can look at photos or look in the mirror and think "not bad".
I'm far from perfect and I know that I wouldn't be everyones cup of tea. But nobody has ever given me as hard a time about my body as I have given myself in the past. I've never repulsed anyone or had anyone shudder upon seeing me. But I've done those things to myself.

I'm average but that's ok.

And for sure, I feel more attractive and seem to be found more attractive now that I am content with what I've got. I try not to compare myself physically to anyone else, either in a positive or negative way. I don't dwell on my flaws and I try to make the most of my good points.

I've no idea where or how the change happened. I didn't go to counselling or anything. Maybe it was just part of getting older and wiser

CathyMoran

I was a more boyish shape before I had mine - I still have my father saying to me that I am fat even though I am a size 6 on the waist, 8 on the hips and 12 on the bust. I do have issues as he can be very cruel. My husband loves me and I know in my heart that I am not fat. I am the same weight that I was when I was an 18 year old.

flutterflye

I've 3 kids. After first I'd put on 4 stone. Lost it over the following two years.
After second, I put on 3 stone. Lost it over the next year.
Third was the worst - baby is 6mths now. I put on 5 stone. I've only managed to lose a stone so far. I'd say it'll realistically be another year before I've lost it all again.
At the moment - I do feel like crap. I don't bother with make up or even attempt to dress nicely, because I think there's no point - I'll still look crap like.
Your body does change forever after a baby, but it's not necessarily a major change.
Stretch marks and scars are something you really just have to accept because they're going nowhere!
They fade with time, but they'll always be there.
There are various ointments and that - vitamin e - I think that's supposed to be good for scars? Ask a doctor or pharmacist maybe?
Or you could always cover them with a tattoo?
Boobs - you can wear different shaped bras to push them up or whatever, or if you feel really strongly about it - there are surgeries or non surgical options that could help.
And the weight - you can lose it - it just takes a lot of time and motivation.
Just little steps and you'll get there.

There is an awful lot of pressure on women in general to look a certain way - it's everywhere you turn - mass media to your peers to your parents.
And it can be very hard looking in the mirror and not seeing yourself - instead seeing what you'd see if you looked into one of those stretched mirrors in a fun house at an amusement arcade. And when you look at all your clothes, but know there's no point in trying them on because you'll only rip them.

In one sense, I think we shouldn't put pressure on ourselves, but on the other - that's how I get things done.
I mean - I will wallow about for a while, and then one day it gets bad enough that I snap into action, and once I've started, there's no going back.
I guess it depends what kind of pressure you're putting yourself under, as well as what works for you.
Calling yourself all sorts of horrible names and being really hard on yourself for instance - all that does is feeds into the cycle of worthlessness.

I don't know really. It's late and I'm rambling.
So yeah - I feel similarly to how you feel at the moment I think, but I know that I will lose the weight, in a realistic time frame, because I have done it twice before.

CathyMoran

One funny thing that I did that I regretted was to get rid of my mini skirts - have had to buy them all again. For the pregnancies I was painfully underweight as I had been very ill so they brought me up to a ormal weight which I am greatful for but about a year later I put on 5lb which was a bit too much for my small frame. Had to eat a small bit less. The change in shape permanantly from straight up and down to hour glass was the biggest difference.

icescreamqueen

I'm expecting at the minute and that's my one big worry, outside of the welfare of the child. I'm 23 weeks gone and haven't put on too much weight, just around the bump but I find my appetite is insatiable and I'm eating constantly. For the woman who have children, what are the reasons mothers put on weight? I think I'm naive in that after 6 weeks, I'm aiming to be back in the gym and be out walking and exercising again. I hope it's realistic but I see plenty of women who are mothers and have maintained great figures.

Neyite

icescreamqueen wrote: »

I'm expecting at the minute and that's my one big worry, outside of the welfare of the child. I'm 23 weeks gone and haven't put on too much weight, just around the bump but I find my appetite is insatiable and I'm eating constantly. For the woman who have children, what are the reasons mothers put on weight? I think I'm naive in that after 6 weeks, I'm aiming to be back in the gym and be out walking and exercising again. I hope it's realistic but I see plenty of women who are mothers and have maintained great figures.

I had an insatible appetite too - but I made sure that what I snacked on was good stuff - I filled a desk drawer at work with fruit, and had proper dinners.

Breastfeeding really helps you get back into shape, which for me was a nice benefit for me - I got back into my pre-pregnancy jeans 15 days after the birth. Now they were very snug, where before they had been loose, but it still counts, right??

Afterwards, you will be eating when you get a chance, gobbling something down in the 5 mins you get for yourself, and its easy to go for the quick, convenient things that might be less healthy, so make sure you stock up on healthy quick snacks, and limit the sweet stuff in the house altogether. Have lots of homemade freezer meals and soups to bung in the microwave quickly.

I got out and walked any day that I could with the buggy, and I think that helped too. I had to because I'd a section and hated the compression stockings that they make you wear for 6 weeks, so the compromise with the PHN was that I'd get plenty of exercise if I stopped wearing them.

That's what worked for me. Others may find they did all the right things and still maintain weight, you'll just have to see what you are dealing with afterwards.

vitani

icescreamqueen wrote: »

I'm expecting at the minute and that's my one big worry, outside of the welfare of the child. I'm 23 weeks gone and haven't put on too much weight, just around the bump but I find my appetite is insatiable and I'm eating constantly. For the woman who have children, what are the reasons mothers put on weight? I think I'm naive in that after 6 weeks, I'm aiming to be back in the gym and be out walking and exercising again. I hope it's realistic but I see plenty of women who are mothers and have maintained great figures.

I was out walking within a couple of weeks of the birth, but it was months before I felt up to any strenuous exercise.

That said, losing weight is 90% diet. Stick to non-processed, whole, healthy food as much as possible and the weight will come off - and don't worry if it takes a little time.

wolfpawnat

icescreamqueen wrote: »

I'm expecting at the minute and that's my one big worry, outside of the welfare of the child. I'm 23 weeks gone and haven't put on too much weight, just around the bump but I find my appetite is insatiable and I'm eating constantly. For the woman who have children, what are the reasons mothers put on weight? I think I'm naive in that after 6 weeks, I'm aiming to be back in the gym and be out walking and exercising again. I hope it's realistic but I see plenty of women who are mothers and have maintained great figures.

I walked everywhere after no1 was born, but I walked a lot while pregnant with him too. Same this time. And plenty of healthy meals and snacks while pregnant and afterwards. I make sure to remove temptation by never having much unhealthy snack foods in the house. I know if I had them, I wouldn't be able to stop myself, so I only get some every so often.

Exercise and good foods are the key really. Breast feeding is really good too. I was back in my looser pre-pregnancy jeans in no time and I was expressing only since he wouldn't latch.

I actually went down 2 sizes after no1. This time I am healthier again, so hopefully I will go back to that size again. Though it took a few months to do so. I am not sure how the celebs do it within a few weeks

CathyMoran

9 months on and 9 months off - please remember that you have just had a baby or babies and that is amazing.

shed head

its called exercise, you can have your body back if you put in the effort, hard work, you would be surprised how a few sessions will transform your way of thinking and inspire you! Join a gym, and get the instructor to give you a routine, inclusive of weights, it will be tough at the start, stay determined and it will be so. A half hour walk and a trip to weight watchers is not good enough, push your body and reap the rewards!

However, if your just sitting around, stuffing your face with snacks each day, i have no sympathy for you!

CathyMoran

shed head wrote: »

its called exercise, you can have your body back if you put in the effort, hard work, you would be surprised how a few sessions it will transform your way of thinking and inspire you! Join a gym, and get the instructor to give you a routine, inclusive of weights, it will be tough at the start, stay determined and it will be so. A half hour walk and a trip to weight watchers is not good enough, push your body and reap the rewards!

However, if your just sitting around, stuffing your face with snacks each day, i have no sympathy for you!

I never had time for the gym - being a parent is a lot of exercise from walking with your child to playing with them...

coffee_cake

shed head wrote: »

its called exercise, you can have your body back if you put in the effort, hard work, you would be surprised how a few sessions will transform your way of thinking and inspire you! Join a gym, and get the instructor to give you a routine, inclusive of weights, it will be tough at the start, stay determined and it will be so. A half hour walk and a trip to weight watchers is not good enough, push your body and reap the rewards!

However, if your just sitting around, stuffing your face with snacks each day, i have no sympathy for you!

Yeah, people with newborns just sit around all the time, there's definitely no further effort required :rolleyes:

Lucyfur

Shed Head, people with newborns rarely have time for the gym and personal trainers. If you've nothing constructive to say, don't post

shed head

Lucyfur wrote: »

Shed Head, people with newborns rarely have time for the gym and personal trainers. If you've nothing constructive to say, don't post

new borns - 3 years ago!! Don't have time for an hours exercise each day, please your comment is farcical. If the op or any of you think this is a good excuse you deserve to be out of shape.

I have 3 kids, both myself and my gf and mother of my children go to the gym together each evening! Whilst i appreciate the op is single, surely she has somebody to mind the child for an hour, also check out bodyrock tv for home exercises! Clearly Lucy your in the same boat - lazy!
regards

Lucyfur

Shed head is taking a week off

wolfpawnat

I think the likes of Paula Radcliffe would be able to start training again very soon after birth, but for the most of us, our body would almost just shut down and scream "Did you not notice you had a baby last week!!!!"

I am planning to do some post pregnancy yoga to tone up a little after the birth slowly, because I don't think anyone could honestly work out properly if they are running around trying to keep a home and up two/four times a night with a baby.

I don't have the luxury of someone to look after my kids for me to pop off to the gym for an hour or two every other day. Daddy is gone from 7am to 7-8pm each evening. I would be too tired to go then and we don't live near family to depend on. So it will be the walk dropping my son to school and then going to the local park for a stroll and Tesco's after for the shopping for me. As CathyMoran said, 9 months on, realistically 9 months(ish) off. Some are faster, some are slower. Each person is different.

Piper101

I'm happy to admit I'm lazy after an emergency section after 12 hours of labour, back in hospital a week later with an internal infection and minding a newborn while my OH works 12 hour days (how do single mothers do it?). When I get a chance to be lazy, by god I am !!!! and I can see that continuing when I get back to work and things get even more manic. While I get shed heds point, however blunt, he and his partner seem to be in a privileged position!

How Strange

I definitely subscribe to the 9 months on/9 months off theory. It's important to let your body recover for the first few weeks. It's done the hardest job it's designed to do so let it heal.

After that walking is the best thing for you and your baby as getting outdoors and having fresh air will help you psychologically as well as physically. It's also great for the baby.

Get your tummy checked for a separation of your tummy muscles at around 6-8 weeks. A reputable physio will be able to check this and give you gentle exercises to close any gap. If there's a mum and baby pilates or yoga class go to that too as it will focus on repairing damaged muscles and getting your tone back.

After that it's down to diet. Last time around we had a lot of cakes and biscuits hanging around for far too long. This time I'm going to have healthy, nutritious foods at home and save the cakes etc for treats just like I would pre pregnancy.

My body did eventually return to pretty much normal after my son but it was probably 12-14 months before my shape returned to before and it took a considerable amount of effort. I definitely noticed I'd put weight on much quicker since he was born but then again I'm older and I didn't exercise as much as before (running etc) as I didn't have the spare time or energy.

eviltwin

I was lucky enough to be able to get out within a few days of the birth to do some exercise. It was more about taking care of my mental health than my weight. I would go out on my own with my dogs for an hour and just walk.

Its very easy to become a bit housebound with a new baby but if you are recovering from a birth or don't have the benefit of someone who can mind your baby getting out is a lot easier said than done. Especially if you are sleep deprived, doing exercise is not exactly high up on the list of priorities when you are exhausted.

ash23

I was a single parent and found a walk during the day beneficial although just to get out of the house sometimes took nearly an hour. And I might be only down the road when I'd have to come back again.

I had some family support but I'll be honest, in the early days I used it to catch up on sleep and not exercise. After a fairly bad pregnancy and birth, plus doing 100% of the parenting alone, sleep was worth more to me than any weight loss.

I will say though, I gained most weight between years 1 and 2 after the birth because I felt isolated and alone. I walked miles every day because I had no car, but living with a small child and no family nearby, I found it impossible to get motivated enough to get dressed, let alone get into shape. Really I was probably deeply depressed.
I'm still a single parent but a world away from the shell of a person I was when my little one was very small. I work, have friends, a life outside of the house. I could do with losing a bit more weight but the darkness I felt at the time I piled on all the weight is gone and that means more to me than being a slim, trim, size 10.

Ms. Pingui

ash23 wrote: »

I was a single parent and found a walk during the day beneficial although just to get out of the house sometimes took nearly an hour. And I might be only down the road when I'd have to come back again.

I had some family support but I'll be honest, in the early days I used it to catch up on sleep and not exercise. After a fairly bad pregnancy and birth, plus doing 100% of the parenting alone, sleep was worth more to me than any weight loss.

I will say though, I gained most weight between years 1 and 2 after the birth because I felt isolated and alone. I walked miles every day because I had no car, but living with a small child and no family nearby, I found it impossible to get motivated enough to get dressed, let alone get into shape. Really I was probably deeply depressed.
I'm still a single parent but a world away from the shell of a person I was when my little one was very small. I work, have friends, a life outside of the house. I could do with losing a bit more weight but the darkness I felt at the time I piled on all the weight is gone and that means more to me than being a slim, trim, size 10.

Being a single parent is so tough! I don't have anyone to share the responsibility with. Recently my mum has started taking my little one once a week so that I can do a zumba class which is great.
I always feel so guilty leaving her with other people. I know this would not be the case if she was to be with her dad as he would of had as much responsibility to care for her as me.

clairefontaine

I gained over 50lbs in water retention, bringing me up to 200lbs.

After pissing like a racehorse for six weeks, dropped down to a size six. Such was the busyness of a new baby keeping up and down and everywhere.

ash23

Ms. Pingui wrote: »

Being a single parent is so tough! I don't have anyone to share the responsibility with. Recently my mum has started taking my little one once a week so that I can do a zumba class which is great.
I always feel so guilty leaving her with other people. I know this would not be the case if she was to be with her dad as he would of had as much responsibility to care for her as me.

It does get easier. My daughter is 10 now and she's always off galavanting with relatives and I no longer allow myself to feel bad. I've sacrificed a lot for her and there's no point beating myself over things I can't change. My career is focused around being home for her as much as possible, my finances and my social life are also centered around her for the most part.
But don't feel bad for taking some time out for yourself. I'm sure most parents put their kids first but being 100% responsible will burn you out if you let it.
You shouldn't feel bad about reaching out for some help. I'm sure your mum loves having her for an hour every week. As my girl got older, I've actually found it harder trying to keep everyone happy with the amount of time they get with her. It's like, although I know I'm her mum and everyone else does too, they've all played such a big part in her upbringing and are so close to her. Usually I'm driving her around the country so that everyone gets a chance to spend time with her.

jumbledideas

I remember when I was pregnant with my second child having this unreasonable craving for Cadbury's Creme Eggs ( she was born in April). I said it to my Ob gyn- was it bad for the baby? He looked at me wryly and said, if you eat all around you the very most the baby will put on in extra weight will be 1lb, the rest will go on you...:eek::D

It was Mars Bars for my first and she was only just over 6lbs, so....

December2012

Ms. Pingui wrote: »

My stomach muscles stretched so much that they are slightly separated so there's no chance of getting my old tum tum back!



.

This does not have to be the case! You can fix your abdominal separation by doing physiotherapy - even years after the event.

Contact the elbow room in Smithfield, Dublin - they helped me.

Regaining your abdominal strength is very important - not for appearance or confidence but also to support your organs - your womb and bladder, etc.

Don't write off your health just because you had a baby.

Myself I got back into shape but there will always be stretchy skin around my tum.

I genuinely don't know if I've made my peace with it a few years later.

IvyTheTerrible

December2012 wrote: »

This does not have to be the case! You can fix your abdominal separation by doing physiotherapy - even years after the event.

Contact the elbow room in Smithfield, Dublin - they helped me.

Regaining your abdominal strength is very important - not for appearance or confidence but also to support your organs - your womb and bladder, etc.

Don't write off your health just because you had a baby.

Myself I got back into shape but there will always be stretchy skin around my tum.

I genuinely don't know if I've made my peace with it a few years later.

This is very true.

Something I found very helpful over here, you are entitled to a certain number of pelvic floor rehab sessions with a midwife after the birth (once you have had the check up from the gyny 5 weeks after the birth). Basically the midwife trains you to exercise your pelvic floor muscles both manually and with "biofeedback". I found it excellent to stop the stress incontinence I was getting and as the midwife said, it can be used for your whole life, not just after birth, to prevent any of those problems that are common among women later on in life.

pwurple

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

This is very true.

Something I found very helpful over here, you are entitled to a certain number of pelvic floor rehab sessions with a midwife after the birth (once you have had the check up from the gyny 5 weeks after the birth). Basically the midwife trains you to exercise your pelvic floor muscles both manually and with "biofeedback". I found it excellent to stop the stress incontinence I was getting and as the midwife said, it can be used for your whole life, not just after birth, to prevent any of those problems that are common among women later on in life.

The pelvic floors are important. I was doing them wrong actually. When I go for my prolapsed bladder monitoring appointments they actually put those muscle detectors on me, and asked me to show them how I do it.

You need to do 5 long squeezes... hold as hard as you can, to 60 seconds on each. And 15 shorts, and then 5 long again. I certainly can't do them while driving, or working or anything. It takes nearly 15 minutes, and I do them 4 times a day. An hours of pelvic floor every day.

IvyTheTerrible

pwurple wrote: »

The pelvic floors are important. I was doing them wrong actually. When I go for my prolapsed bladder monitoring appointments they actually put those muscle detectors on me, and asked me to show them how I do it.

You need to do 5 long squeezes... hold as hard as you can, to 60 seconds on each. And 15 shorts, and then 5 long again. I certainly can't do them while driving, or working or anything. It takes nearly 15 minutes, and I do them 4 times a day. An hours of pelvic floor every day.

My midwife didn't just do the squeezy ones! She put her fingers inside and then said "Imagine your vagina is a cave. There is a lift door, close the lift doors. Imagine there is a wave coming from the bottom to the top of the cave etc etc". She was able to check I did them properly and guide me. I have them written down so I wouldn't forget, I'll dig them out and post them here.