Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

Yarray

Carpet diem wrote: »

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

Firstly - thanks for all ur insights - 3 weeks sober myself ....

I completely agree with the sentiments on this post and can identify 100% with ur life experience.

So I had to seek professional help to sort it out .... especially with the auld fella - who did a little bit more than roar and shout!

I was told by an old monk once, that life is like a lake and it can be choppy and rough with the difficulties of life - but silence clams the surface of the lake - and it is only then u can see the **** at the bottom attempting to rise to the top!!...

I see that I drank alcohol to prevent me from recognising the **** at the bottom of the lake ....

Today I feel great and had a eureka moment on the way to work ; I'm superman and alcohol is my cryptonite!!! I'm super without it !!!

pm me is u want details of very good counsellor ....


Stay strong Superman!!

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

3 weeks sober today.

I have gained so much foresight in that time in terms of where I'm going in life.

Life is still tough. But I can say life is good too. Becoming OK at speaking in public and gaining more of s sense who I am. I had a reasonably good childhood but old lad used to have a really bad temper and would roar and shout at us a lot and often hit us. It was tough but i think he just had his problems and didn't mean it. He would go out of his way giving us money and best education possible.
**** like that takes its toll and it certainly has on me. It feels like it coming to the top now so would like to deal with it.

Any advice ?

I absolutely hated my father when I first gave up drink. Just for him not being there and for being drunk when he was. It made me very angry and resentful I literally could not be around the man while I was dealing with it. When I finally shared about it enough in meetings and with my sponsor the penny dropped. I started to accept him for who he was and realized that he must have gone through a lot himself. His dad & my grandfather died from alcoholism when my dad was 16. This "man" used to hit my grandmother regularly in his drunken abyss and I can only imagine how that affected my father and his siblings. It really is a disease of relationships. It just in the end destroys family, friends & love. What you are going through is perfectly normal Carpet, the feelings pour back it's just dealing them the right way that is the challenge but trust me when you do life is never better. I regularly go for walks among other things with my dad when I drop over to their house. We NEVER done that while I drank, we would have laughed at something like that. I can honestly say that I've gotten closer to both my parents in two years then I had in the 25 previous due to me being sober and mature enough to accept them for who they are.

Amazingfun

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

lufties

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

Great Post!

This is the stumbling block I normally reach, Alone on a Friday evening with only your negative thoughts, I slowly start to pick myself apart, so it ends up 'ah sure I'll just go for wan or two',(which never happens) :rolleyes:

KeefF

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

really good post and this is something I need to explore with more sober time under my belt.

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

My problems with family were/are much the same as some here. Growing up in alcoholic surroundings almost guarantee it.

But what I've learned (don't forget I am sober a loooong time now) is that I was a first class expert at seeing their faults, shortcomings and the like.....but not nearly so good at seeing my own or my own part in my drinking or how my life turned out. In fact, I truly believed the ole "oh if only so and so had not done this and that, well, I might have been a zillionaire!". That is horsehite.

My advice to anyone getting too into problems like this so soon down the sober road is: take a break. It will all be there for you to pick up again once you're more used to being a sober person.

My experience however is that I often did quite the opposite and made messes out of things that might not have been so messy had I not decided to try and "fix them", lol.

Tread lightly in these early weeks and months, it's not worth whipping up emotional storms when your vessel is barely sea-ready

I know I'm not gonna be making war or peace with anyone anytime soon but I like to not bottle stuff up. I have done that for long enough pardon the pun.

Also other thing is I was never surrounded by alcohol as mother or father don't drink. We always say we were lucky he didnt drink or god know what he be like. But as i have mentioned in the post I understand him and I know he has has troubles and it's something we're all aware off and so I never fully lay blame on as i know deep down he is a good man. I have no resentment (I think towards him) but at the end of the day it has affected me and I need to deal with it. I need to get better dealing with people, talking in crowds, etc etc. I need to deal with it and try let go then and let it not stay with me and affect any kids I have in the future.

lufties

Carpet diem wrote: »

I know I'm not gonna be making war or peace with anyone anytime soon but I like to not bottle stuff up. I have done that for long enough pardon the pun.

Also other thing is I was never surrounded by alcohol as mother or father don't drink. We always say we were lucky he didnt drink or god know what he be like. But as i have mentioned in the post I understand him and I know he has has troubles and it's something we're all aware off and so I never fully lay blame on as i know deep down he is a good man. I have no resentment (I think towards him) but at the end of the day it has affected me and I need to deal with it. I need to get better dealing with people, talking in crowds, etc etc. I need to deal with it and try let go then and let it not stay with me and affect any kids I have in the future.

Hi Carpet, just out of interest, how would the above affect you talking in crowds? I only ask because I have the same problem.

Carpet diem

lufties wrote: »

Hi Carpet, just out of interest, how would the above affect you talking in crowds? I only ask because I have the same problem.

Generally wouldn't be the best and would like to get better of it. Over time going to meetings will help and sharing.

Carpet diem

I was thinking to me myself just there how Friday always have been a day where I would not be in great shape generally and I be looking forward to going out again on the Friday and Saturday night to do it all over again.
Especially this time of the month I find myself thinking it's pay day and time to go nuts and not look at my bank balance for the next two weeks. All reckless and all good times come to an end as they say. Don't get me wrong I had great craic but the repercussions grew and grew as the years went on.
Mainly due to getting older, personal responsibility, turning into someone who was not me, falling out with people, lying to people, hurting people, spending all my money in the pub, weight increasing, health deterioting, and above all I knew this was not the life for me, this was not my future.

It was touch and go at weekend as I stayed in gf house last minute and so didn't have tablet to take. God I'm not risking that one again. I have a supply in work for myself. I know it's a short term thing but it's working for me. It's not for everybody.

Anyways plan is to study for weekend, chill out with the gf tonight and just get on with whatever I have to do. Doesn't sound exciting but it's better than the alternative.

_lietome_

This post has been deleted.

IrishSkyBoxer

Nobody said coming into this world was going to be an easy fight.

Whenever life gets rough, I always remember.

"Tough times don't last tough, but tough people do"

xzanti

IrishSkyBoxer wrote: »

Nobody said coming into this world was going to be an easy fight.

Whenever life gets rough, I always remember.

"Tough times don't last tough, but tough people do"

Good philosophy..

I came to realise after I became a teetoller, that life for the most part can be pretty good.. we all have bad times... if someone we love is sick, we lose jobs, relationships end etc..

But drinking only taints the good days of our lives.. We make life harder for ourselves than it ever has to be when we allow drink to interfere with our journey.

Creating problems and anguish where they needn't be.

Just my Saturday morning musings there have a good weekend folks..

Carpet diem

I found yesterday very tough. I was getting all sorts of thoughts in my head - maybe I'm ok and should go out like everyone else and have a few drinks and enjoy myself. I can't help thinking I'm missing out on the fun. That was even after being in the gym after a good workout.

I'm very thankful today that I'm fresh as a daisy and had a sleep in but can still do some study later on in my own time. I need to pray to god for that and be thankful of my sobriety and realise this is a marathon and not a sprint. I'm also thankful to ye guys on here for the support and couldn't do it without ye.

I might get a meeting in today as well as feeling in that mood.

Carpet diem

I went to a meeting earlier and god I didn't really enjoy it. There was too many people there for everyone to speak and didnt recognise half the people. I do like the ones on Sunday with smaller crowd and talk is more focussed. Just said I get that out.

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

I went to a meeting earlier and god I didn't really enjoy it. There was too many people there for everyone to speak and didnt recognise half the people. I do like the ones on Sunday with smaller crowd and talk is more focussed. Just said I get that out.

well done for getting to a meeting.
Check out Acceptance on Page 417 of the Big Book. It just might help you through today.

Carpet diem

Thanks - how you getting on yourself these days ?

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Thanks - how you getting on yourself these days ?

Hi,
I'm just back in the door having been out in the pub and a late bar. Stuck to the N/A & Red Bull but really late bars etc are no place to be when sober. It was like bump off the sober person night - though I know I did the exact same thing when I was boozing.
I have to be honest, sitting in on Sat nights on my own are the biggest threat to me going forward. At this moment I have no desire to drink but I have to be vigilant regarding feeling sorry for myself going forward. I know I can (and am having) a decent life but I think to sustain it I need to share it with someone. At this stage I'm not yet sure how I am going to go about it. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself and trying to run before I can walk in terms of sobriety and getting to know the real me.

This post has been brought to you courtesy of Red Bull!!!!

Carpet diem

Got to my main weekly meeting. I love this particular one and find it a great base to work from and know abs get on with the people there.

Very content i must say this weekend. Working on my sleeping pattern so I'm not caught vulnerable.

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

Got to my main weekly meeting. I love this particular one and find it a great base to work from and know abs get on with the people there.

Very content i must say this weekend. Working on my sleeping pattern so I'm not caught vulnerable.

Delighted to hear you are content buddy. Keep doing the right things.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Delighted to hear you are content buddy. Keep doing the right things.

Peace of mind and contentment are priceless.

My sleep is a million times better as well. Thanks to all here for help on our journey so far

Well done pal.

Most important thing is a good routine.

Carpet diem

4 weeks sober today. Nice to rack up a few weeks and take stock of the positive changes from it.

Well done pal, great achievement.

Sunnyisland

Carpet diem wrote: »

4 weeks sober today. Nice to rack up a few weeks and take stock of the positive changes from it.

Good work Carpet diem,
Keep it going as by now you must be seen and feeling the enormous benefits being alcohol free is given you.

Carpet diem

realies wrote: »

Good work Carpet diem,
Keep it going as by now you must be seen and feeling the enormous benefits being alcohol free is given you.

I definitely have seen the benefits as this is a really stressful month with work and also studying for exams. I haven't done it yet but believe it or not - I have put in less hours hard study because I can study more effectively and no exactly what I need to do. This is because of being better focused and this is from a clear head and being able to take in more for every half hour studied.Also a big thing is my study is continuous - before every weekend would be disrupted by binges. Not this time.

Hopefully next month I will see the benefits of downtime a bit more. Do some exploring and relaxing at weekends.

Carpet diem

5 weeks sober today thanks god.

I love it really. Just being able to feel the ups and downs of life. Hard to describe it but its a different feeling.

Meeting my sponsor this evening and getting the steps started. I think this is where I will need to put the real work in and hopefully reap the rewards.

Being very carefully taking my tablets and all that recently as my head was trying to create that madness again. This happens when things are going very well or very bad. Self destruct button lights up!

KeefF

Carpet diem wrote: »

5 weeks sober today thanks god.

I love it really. Just being able to feel the ups and downs of life. Hard to describe it but its a different feeling.

Meeting my sponsor this evening and getting the steps started. I think this is where I will need to put the real work in and hopefully reap the rewards.

Being very carefully taking my tablets and all that recently as my head was trying to create that madness again. This happens when things are going very well or very bad. Self destruct button lights up!

Very well done!!!
How did you go about getting a sponsor and what does it involve?
Thanks

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

5 weeks sober today thanks god.

I love it really. Just being able to feel the ups and downs of life. Hard to describe it but its a different feeling.

Meeting my sponsor this evening and getting the steps started. I think this is where I will need to put the real work in and hopefully reap the rewards.

Being very carefully taking my tablets and all that recently as my head was trying to create that madness again. This happens when things are going very well or very bad. Self destruct button lights up!

Well done you've come a long way. Just keep at it. It does get easier trust me on that pal.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Very well done!!!
How did you go about getting a sponsor and what does it involve?
Thanks

I just went to mainly BB and steps meetings . That where the progress is made IMO. Opening meetings can lack direction sometimes. I guess sharing is the first thing and articulating during your share that you aim to do steps and people will start to help or chat to you. I think its important to get someone you get along with. When I had doubt's I waited for next person to express interest.

I'm kinda up to this point now so will let you know further in due course. Actually the BB meeting has a chapter on helping and by listening how the sponsors go about it.

Hopefully that helps a bit!