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Tight-fisted parents.

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    #182
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    LaChatteGitane wrote: »
    Gosh ! You sound bitter and you have a sense of entitlement without ANY empathy for anyone else (except for the little girl with only 5€ and 1 DVD)

    So where i mentioned that i consider this an example went over your head? I thought so. Your parents ever buy you a present outside of Christmas or birthdays? Or have you just blown in from the cold with a comment that makes no sense to me at all? A sense of entitlement? Because i don't begrudge a kid a fiver when her folks are splashing out on themselves? And i'm without empathy? What's this thread about then? What are you talking about?


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    #183
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    I didnt know regular spoiling with toys was a way to demonstrate love. I also find it a bit sick that the OP is borderline equating this non incident with child abuse.

    And Hoodwinked's dad does not seem a good person - to suggest people are saying we think parents should be like that on the basis of disagreeing with the OP is, well... acting the dick. Frowned upon on Boards.


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    #184
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    Ice87 wrote: »
    I was spoiled rotten as a child. My parents used to take us to the park and playgrounds and I was brought to football matches/swimming and table tennis every weekend. However they never really bought that much stuff for me bar Christmas and birthdays and to be honest, I never asked for it either.

    In later years I learned that we had very little in those days and my parents were struggling to make ends meat and pay bills back then. They're both in great jobs now and enjoying their later years. They've taught me the value of money and that spending time with loved ones is more important than any present you can give.

    You might think that these parents were stingy with the €5 DVD but it's a valuable lesson and the child seemed to grasp this also when she wasn't sure which one to get!!! She probably knew she was only taking one back and would have been delighted with it.

    "I was spoiled rotten as a child. My parents hardly ever bought me anything aside from Christmas and birthdays. They took me to football matches and swimming classes. They'd very little and struggled to survive." ...

    I'm totally confused by that.


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    #185
    ViveLaVie
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭ViveLaVie


    PaulB1984 wrote: »


    OK, so now that i've read this... What you're saying is... Your parents give money to total strangers, not a dime to you and you don't begrudge the charities? So your parents love you, buy you nothing and give all their money to complete strangers and you have no problem with that? Cool then. Moving on...

    Yes, a poor family and yet my father would buy me a little toy or a tape, depending on how much he had with him. Nice that, isn't it? Your daddy's rich and gives all his money to charity, mine was poor, hates me and still bought me presents. Youch, i'd hate to be you reading this right now.

    Yes yes, cool, i get that the €5 was her pocket money, you've said that. And you also said giving her another €5 is spoiling her, now you're saying it's not. Are you having an episode of some description?

    Actually, no, here's what i said... "Bringing your child to a store, spending a fortune on yourself and begrudging the kid another €5 is wrong!". That's what i said. Read it and you'll see. And read the part where for 7 years her parents never bought her a single movie, not for Christmas, not her birthday, never.

    Yup, i tend to skip past a lot of stuff when it begins to look like the same old crap, sorry.

    I'm starting to think you have the reading level of a two year old. Perhaps this is because of all the time you spent watching television instead of learning useful things like comprehension and money manangement. ;)

    Where exactly did I say my parents never gave me a dime? That's right, I didn't say it. My parents raised me, clothed me, fed me, educated me (put me through university) and often went without so that I could have. They also loved me.

    I was taught to be generous with others and that is why I care about those who are less fortunate. You have made it abundantly clear that you don't.

    My dad is not rich at all. So again I'll ask you to stop making assumptions and treating them as fact. It makes you look ignorant and obnoxious. You've contradicted yourself numerous times on this thread.

    I did not say the value of five euro is spoiling. What I said is that the child had an allowance. Do you understand the difference? See I don't make ill informed judgements based on practically zero facts. You seem to think the child must have never ever received a present except for that DVD and wail about how the parents are greedy. It is entirely possible she has lots of other toys.

    Er perhaps they bought her other presents instead of DVDs. You are actually hopeless. I'm spouting the same crap? You don't even properly read what is said to you and wheel out the same weary one liners.


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    #186
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 15,814 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    PaulB1984 wrote: »

    I'm totally confused by that.

    I imagine that most simple things confuse you.


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    #187
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Now here's what i'm talking about. Here's someone who completely understands it too. A greedy man who sits there making his little daughter sit with him while he eats and buys nothing for her, while her older sister has to go get her wallet to pay for both their lunches.

    Hoodwinked, i'm sorry if this question offends you, i mean no harm. But could you tell me if that made you think a little less of your father? Not made you love him less or anything, but made you look at him and say "Wow, that's a very low thing to do"? Just for the sake of everyone here thinking that's how parents should be.

    im not offended btw i hope raising awareness that some parents are actually that bad might make people think twice in future.

    To be fair ive been dealing with this kind of behaviour from him as long as i know him so im used to it, as for thinking less, to be fair i never thought much of him in the first place, he pretty much has always been a selfish mean man, and he was only around when i was growing up when it suited him, it was only when i hit 18 i started trying to build a relationship with him and failed re: the above as one example.


    but to be fair this one particular incidence stands out as i did think afterwards "What a nasty thing that was to do" especially to my sister (well half sister) but then her mum always agreed with the whole "she needs to learn the value of money" mantra (the problem is for my dad its a "so i don't have to spend my money") where i am of the "if its for school parents buy it or if its christmas you splash the cash".
    HeyThereDeliah wrote: »
    Why would you even bother meeting him and why go back after he refused to buy you lunch?

    I can't imagine how it must feel to have a parent like this or to be a parent like this.

    I know he is your dad and all but still, don't think I would bother with him.

    To be fair i no longer bother with him, after i had my daughter i realised i didn't want her exposed to him like i was, it really messed with my head to the point of a complete mental breakdown... My mum always did try to protect me and warn me as a child, but i saw it more of her attacking him and fought her on it (and other things) constantly, it wasn't until i was 22 i finally understood what she'd been warning me about all those years :o


    some people are just selfish and mean parents.


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    #188
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    "I was spoiled rotten as a child. My parents hardly ever bought me anything aside from Christmas and birthdays. They took me to football matches and swimming classes. They'd very little and struggled to survive." ...

    I'm totally confused by that.

    he/she was spoiled rotten with love and attention, not material things. What confuses you? That's the way it should be.


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    #189
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    Madam_X wrote: »
    I didnt know regular spoiling with toys was a way to demonstrate love. I also find it a it sick that the OP is borderline equating this non incident with child abuse.

    Oh would you give over the dramatics! What's with you and liking every negative comment directed at me anyway?

    I said NO to spoiling! If you insist on reading every word here, please note where everyone said €5 is not spoiling.

    Another questions for the mods... When i click Ignore on member's profiles, do they continue to see what i post? I'm still learning :)


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    #190
    LaChatteGitane
    Registered Users Posts: 790 ✭✭✭LaChatteGitane


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    So where i mentioned that i consider this an example went over your head? I thought so. Your parents ever buy you a present outside of Christmas or birthdays? Or have you just blown in from the cold with a comment that makes no sense to me at all? A sense of entitlement? Because i don't begrudge a kid a fiver when her folks are splashing out on themselves? And i'm without empathy? What's this thread about then? What are you talking about?

    Oh dear ! You have a flippin' chip on your shoulder. Telling people here that they don't read your posts properly. Maybe you should take your own advice.

    No empathy with needy people who get donations in one form or another from charities.
    A sense of entitlement because you seem to begrudge 'the rich' their money in the bank....

    I have not just blown in, but you most likely chose to ignore my other posts.


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    #191
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    To be fair ive been dealing with this kind of behaviour from him as long as i know him so im used to it, as for thinking less, to be fair i never thought much of him in the first place, he pretty much has always been a selfish mean man, and he was only around when i was growing up when it suited him, it was only when i hit 18 i started trying to build a relationship with him and failed re: the above as one example.


    but to be fair this one particular incidence stands out as i did think afterwards "What a nasty thing that was to do" especially to my sister (well half sister) but then her mum always agreed with the whole "she needs to learn the value of money" mantra (the problem is for my dad its a "so i don't have to spend my money") where i am of the "if its for school parents buy it or if its christmas you splash the cash".



    To be fair i no longer bother with him, after i had my daughter i realised i didn't want her exposed to him like i was, it really messed with my head to the point of a complete mental breakdown... My mum always did try to protect me and warn me as a child, but i saw it more of her attacking him and fought her on it (and other things) constantly, it wasn't until i was 22 i finally understood what she'd been warning me about all those years :o


    some people are just selfish and mean parents.

    I'm just glad you're away from him now and have your own family, he sounds like a horrible person. He's even worse than the people i mentioned at the start of this whole crazy thing. Always best to cut negative people out of your life, his greed will only affect him in the end when he looks around and realises his greed and spite drove everyone away.


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    #192
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    I'm liking such comments to say I agree wholeheartedly, as you would if people defended your view, for instance Seb65.
    You're the one being dramatic, by being so ENRAGED by this. You said your mother spoiled you because she loved you. That would indicate you endorse.


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    #193
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    Madam_X wrote: »
    I didnt know regular spoiling with toys was a way to demonstrate love. I also find it a bit sick that the OP is borderline equating this non incident with child abuse.

    And Hoodwinked's dad does not seem a good person - to suggest people are saying we think parents should be like that on the basis of disagreeing with the OP is, well... acting the dick. Frowned upon on Boards.

    Did i call anyone any names? Is it totally called for to call me a dick? Well, don't wanna read any of your posts any further. El Blocko.


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    #194
    indough
    Registered Users Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭indough


    maybe the next time you are out at the shops you should concentrate on shopping rather than creeping around little girls


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    #195
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    "you're acting the dick" has a different meaning to "you are a dick".


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    #196
    HeyThereDeliah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 967 ✭✭✭HeyThereDeliah


    hoodwinked wrote: »


    To be fair i no longer bother with him, after i had my daughter i realised i didn't want her exposed to him like i was, it really messed with my head to the point of a complete mental breakdown... My mum always did try to protect me and warn me as a child, but i saw it more of her attacking him and fought her on it (and other things) constantly, it wasn't until i was 22 i finally understood what she'd been warning me about all those years :o


    some people are just selfish and mean parents.

    I'm sorry he was horrible.I'm sure it has made you a fantastic parent, life experience is what moulds all of us.

    What you missed out with him you will pass on to your own children so in a weird way maybe he done you a favour.


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    #197
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    LaChatteGitane wrote: »
    Oh dear ! You have a flippin' chip on your shoulder. Telling people here that they don't read your posts properly. Maybe you should take your own advice.

    No empathy with needy people who get donations in one form or another from charities.
    A sense of entitlement because you seem to begrudge 'the rich' their money in the bank....

    I have not just blown in, but you most likely chose to ignore my other posts.

    Yup, perhaps i did. And yes,, i begrudge rich people with money in the bank who see fit not to spend a dime of it on their kids. Hence the thread. As for charity donations, i agree fully with them. However, when someone tells me their parent loves them but buys them nothing and gives all their money away to strangers, it does make me wonder...


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    #198
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Grow the fcuk up. Jesus Christ but your story is nothing like that one. Seriously you have one twisted world view.
    Your story is nothing more than your ridiculous fantasy based on a few sentences you heard. Hoodwinked's story is completely different and they do not compare in the least. Letting your child go hungry and not buying them two DVDs are completely different situations. I feel sorry for you, I really do. You have a warped outlook on life and its obvious that you have never experienced what love is.

    they may be two totally different situations but think of it this way,


    if you overheard my dad in smyths earlier saying "do you have enough pocket money saved to buy those crayola's?" or "use your pocketmoney to buy those"

    you would think the same "oh what a great parent teaching his child the value of money" not knowing what he was going to do at lunch.


    my point is you don't know how deep that mean-ness goes....


    for all you know the child the op was talking about had to also miss lunch because she had spent all her money on a dvd,


    there are mean parents out there, you assume these people weren't as much as the op assume they were.


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    #199
    tiny_penguin
    Registered Users Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭tiny_penguin


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Yup, perhaps i did. And yes,, i begrudge rich people with money in the bank who see fit not to spend a dime of it on their kids. Hence the thread. As for charity donations, i agree fully with them. However, when someone tells me their parent loves them but buys them nothing and gives all their money away to strangers, it does make me wonder...


    That may be because you have a very warped idea of how love is expressed between parents and children.


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    #200
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Yup, perhaps i did. And yes,, i begrudge rich people with money in the bank who see fit not to spend a dime of it on their kids. Hence the thread.

    So how rich where these people that you never spoke to or dont know?


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    #201
    LaChatteGitane
    Registered Users Posts: 790 ✭✭✭LaChatteGitane


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Yup, perhaps i did. And yes,, i begrudge rich people with money in the bank who see fit not to spend a dime of it on their kids. Hence the thread. As for charity donations, i agree fully with them. However, when someone tells me their parent loves them but buys them nothing and gives all their money away to strangers, it does make me wonder...

    You should take your own advice and read what is written properly.
    BIB is NOT what that poster wrote !!!


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    #202
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    tiny_penguin wrote: »
    That may be because you have a very warped idea of how love is expressed between parents and children.

    Greed is greed, it should be beneath parents, apparently with a lot of people, it isn't. Love to me is not begrudging your child when you're rich enough to spring for just that little bit more. But hey, you think differently, good on ya. If you have kids, sit them down to this thread.


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    #203
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    LaChatteGitane wrote: »
    You should take your own advice and read what is written properly.
    BIB is NOT what that poster wrote !!!

    OP is clearly a troll as he consistently alters what people have said.


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    #204
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    HeyThereDeliah wrote: »
    I'm sorry he was horrible.I'm sure it has made you a fantastic parent, life experience is what moulds all of us.

    What you missed out with him you will pass on to your own children so in a weird way maybe he done you a favour.

    meh the only thing i learned from him was my vow never to be mean, and i promised if i ever had children it would be with a man who'd treat them right! Win win on both :D

    to be fair we buy our daughter every thing she needs (not wants btw) to the point we can afford, by needs i mean clothes, food (lunch :pac: ).. .etc if we can't afford it the answer is no!

    as for toys and stuff, she is given plenty by relatives so we splash out for birthdays and christmas as it should be,

    but id feel rotten buying myself a load of dvds and making her choose between two for €5!


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    #205
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    LaChatteGitane wrote: »
    You should take your own advice and read what is written properly.
    BIB is NOT what that poster wrote !!!

    So you tell me what they did write then, so i know what i'm talking about, okay? Thank you.


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    #206
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    they may be two totally different situations but think of it this way,
    if you overheard my dad in smyths earlier saying "do you have enough pocket money saved to buy those crayola's?" or "use your pocketmoney to buy those"

    you would think the same "oh what a great parent teaching his child the value of money" not knowing what he was going to do at lunch.

    my point is you don't know how deep that mean-ness goes....

    for all you know the child the op was talking about had to also miss lunch because she had spent all her money on a dvd,

    there are mean parents out there, you assume these people weren't as much as the op assume they were.
    True, but the likelihood of it being just meanness, going by numbers of really mean people, is low. The OP has his mind already made up though. Going by what's actually likely, the parents probably have a bunch of Santa presents bought. I just don't understand - what is so awful about telling a child to pick one instead of getting them the two? It's just... baffling. :confused:


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    #207
    ViveLaVie
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭ViveLaVie


    PaulB1984 wrote: »

    Yup, perhaps i did. And yes,, i begrudge rich people with money in the bank who see fit not to spend a dime of it on their kids. Hence the thread. As for charity donations, i agree fully with them. However, when someone tells me their parent loves them but buys them nothing and gives all their money away to strangers, it does make me wonder...

    Well you could have fooled me when you were criticising me for not resenting the money my parents gave to charity!

    AGAIN I never said that they give me nothing. If you want to have a proper discussion on boards then willfully misrepresenting what another poster says is a really REALLY bad way to do it.


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    #208
    tiny_penguin
    Registered Users Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭tiny_penguin


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Greed is greed, it should be beneath parents, apparently with a lot of people, it isn't. Love to me is not begrudging your child when you're rich enough to spring for just that little bit more. But hey, you think differently, good on ya. If you have kids, sit them down to this thread.


    How is greed giving money to the less fortunate?? I really do not understand your logic at all.

    I do not have kids, but I would hope when I do i would teach them that giving to those less fortunate then yourself is more important than getting everything you want all the time!


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    #209
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    but id feel rotten buying myself a load of dvds and making her choose between two for €5!

    Sign that not everyone here is a monster, a few people actually seeing the light. Thanks for being honest Hoodwinked, your posts serve a lot here.


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    #210
    PaulB1984
    Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭PaulB1984


    tiny_penguin wrote: »
    How is greed giving money to the less fortunate?? I really do not understand your logic at all.

    I do not have kids, but I would hope when I do i would teach them that giving to those less fortunate then yourself is more important than getting everything you want all the time!

    Good. When you have kids, buy them nothing. Give it all to charity and tell your kid "I'm sorry, i love you, both strangers mean more to me than you do."


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    #211
    HeyThereDeliah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 967 ✭✭✭HeyThereDeliah


    PaulB1984 wrote: »
    Greed is greed, it should be beneath parents, apparently with a lot of people, it isn't. Love to me is not begrudging your child when you're rich enough to spring for just that little bit more. But hey, you think differently, good on ya. If you have kids, sit them down to this thread.

    Love is not breaking your kids toys either, presumably in fits of anger but this type of childhood is acceptable to you ?

    How can you criticise these parents and then post that about your father?

    You really have problems and don't bother replying because you cannot see where you are wrong, not saying we are right but most of us agree money,buying presents is not the same as loving a child.

    I have kids and yes I spoil them but they are well acquainted with the word NO.


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