New Parents

Clareman

Mrs. CM has gotten back into Home and Away again, 1.30 is the only time during the day the TV is on, usually in the evenings it's not turned on till close to bed time, we notice that herself gets glued to it and gets over-stimulated by it then. I've gotten a wireless mouse on my laptop now so it's easier to surf 1 handed

Suucee

LO is now 8 months so im not that NEW as such but:
Had a shower for the first time the other day when i wasnt either rushing to get out to LO or she wasnt in the shower with me.
If i pop into a shop on my own (very rarely happens) i feel weird not pushing the pram. Feels like im missing something.

Clareman

I was made redundant in September so I've been at home for all out LO's existence so it has been a bit easier for us, most mornings Mrs. CM will get up first, shower, change, have breakfast, then I do the same, we normally take it in turns to leave the house for a few hours each day.

Saying that, herself is starting to get worried that she hasn't had to raise our LO by herself "like normal women" and is worried she won't be able to cope when I go back to work.

emer_b

Mrs Clareman is one lucky lady to have you at home helping every day, and its fantastic for baby clareman too, she gets all the love and attention possible. Even if you went back to work tomorrow your two ladies will have benefitted so much from all your time together. I have no option but to let my little lady cry and get upset sometimes, just can't physically tend to her every minute of the day.
My husband was off for 2 weeks at christmas and it was just fantastic. I got to have a lie-in every day and he had some amazing bonding time with baby. Terrible that you lost your job but this time you have together is priceless.

Suucee I hate that feeling of rushing all the time, stresses me out. Even though I get plenty of breaks when my husband is around I feel like I have a hundred things I want to do all the time just to keep on top of things. I could do with being a bit more laid back!

Clareman

It's handy alright, every cloud has a silver lining and all that small things like taking down the Christmas decorations (how much room did they take up btw?), normally that'd be a major chore, but I just took them down while my 2 ladies had a nap last Sunday, I'm playing video games now while Mrs. CM watches some TV with herself.

Doesn't help that she isn't getting maternity benefit from her job though, from 2 good (imo) salaries to being on benefits is a major shock to the system, thank god for Amazon and it's great deals for kids stuff.

Ginny

God I know not working is hard, but both being at home must be great for the moment. I know our little one was amazed at the husband being at home over Christmas, he'd literally look back and forth between us in the mornings and giggle and laugh. I know myself the weekends are a lot easier with both of us here, some days on my own its extremely tough. Although I have caught up on all of season 2 of Walking Dead this week, I've just had it on in the background while I'm feeding, pottering about or playing with the baby. Although he did try to eat my face this week, maybe the zombie stuff is a bit much for a 5 month old!

highflyer30

Just catching up on this thread, have a few spare minutes!! Our litle man is great. 5 weeks today. Just starting to get over the tiredness of getting up at night. Was great over xmas when we were both off. Def. worth planning to have baba at that time of year!!!:D

Clareman

Sitting down having breakfast this morning we were just saying how it's hard to believe that just 3 months ago we brought her home, Mrs. Clareman said that she can barely remember the first 4 weeks she was so tired. We also laughed about how we were going mad about people calling the whole time and now we're almost looking forward to visitors, he parents haven't called to the house in over 2 months.

The Christening at the weekend went brilliantly, no rows, everyone enjoyed themselves, great atmosphere and herself really was the star of the show, as someone said, isn't it great to have everyone around when you don't have to make a big deal like a wedding or when it's sad like a funeral.

Tigerton

My little lady is 4 weeks old today. Fastest 4 weeks of my life.

My OH works for himself and from home and I think I'd go crazy somedays without his help here even if its just helping out with the odd feed or nappy change.

Cartman78

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been with the public health nurses?

There's no doubting that they serve an important role but there seems to be a lot of scaremongering and covering their own arses going on as well.

Our fella is just gone 14 weeks and is doing a-ok. He was 5 wks premature, exclusively breastfed and both me & mom would be fairly slight in build.

He's down a little bit on the weight chart (which is modelled on formula fed babies) and this afternoon, the nurse advised to take him to the GP in case there's "something wrong with him". Cue Mrs.Cartman ringing me up a few mins ago in tears :mad:

Any cursory research/knowledge shows that weight gain in BF babies slows down at 3 mths and the rest of his development is bang on target so very frustrating that a throwaway comment will put my wife is a state of worry and result in a completely unnecessary trip to the doctor :mad::(

emer_b

Cartman78 wrote: »

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been with the public health nurses?

There's no doubting that they serve an important role but there seems to be a lot of scaremongering and covering their own arses going on as well.

Our fella is just gone 14 weeks and is doing a-ok. He was 5 wks premature, exclusively breastfed and both me & mom would be fairly slight in build.

He's down a little bit on the weight chart (which is modelled on formula fed babies) and this afternoon, the nurse advised to take him to the GP in case there's "something wrong with him". Cue Mrs.Cartman ringing me up a few mins ago in tears :mad:

Any cursory research/knowledge shows that weight gain in BF babies slows down at 3 mths and the rest of his development is bang on target so very frustrating that a throwaway comment will put my wife is a state of worry and result in a completely unnecessary trip to the doctor :mad::(

Cartman, I completely understand what you are saying. I have written quite a few posts similar to yours over the Breastfeeding Support Thread (a great thread by the way if you or mrs cartman have any questions, lots of very experienced helpful mums).

My baby is 18 weeks old, breastfed. I think the public health nurses are obsessed with weight charts. There was a recent article (in the Times I think) about a new chart being introduced from Jan this year by the HSE specifically for breastfed babies. I queried this with my PHN and she sourced a copy of it for my next visit. Ask your PHN about this, its there if she looks for it. My babies weight looked a little better when plotted on this.

If you're familiar with the charts, my baby started at the 50th percentile and within 6 weeks had dropped to the 9th percentile. Although every other aspect of her development was spot on, the PHN suggested I start supplementing with formula at the stage....this is not what I would call being supportive of breastfeeding. I persevered with the breastfeeding and since then her weight had gained steadily but she remains just below the 9th percentile, this is obviously where she is meant to be as she's on the smaller side, as your little man probably is aswell.

The PHN asked me to bring my little one for weekly weigh-ins, which I decided against for my own sanity. Her fixation on the weight was causing me a lot of stress and doubt over my ability to feed her. The lovely ladies on the breastfeeding support thread and my acupuncturist encouraged me to keep going and follow my instincts. I am so glad that I did.

I would never advise anyone to ignore concerns of your PHN but if your GP doesn't have any worries about your baby and you see him thriving then don't get bogged down by weight. I did speak to my GP at babies 6 week check and he said just to reweigh her in a months time, that she was just on the small side, but not in an unhealthy way.

I hope this helps as I was in almost the same position just a few weeks ago.

IvyTheTerrible

Cartman78 wrote: »

Just wondering what other people's experiences have been with the public health nurses?

There's no doubting that they serve an important role but there seems to be a lot of scaremongering and covering their own arses going on as well.

Our fella is just gone 14 weeks and is doing a-ok. He was 5 wks premature, exclusively breastfed and both me & mom would be fairly slight in build.

He's down a little bit on the weight chart (which is modelled on formula fed babies) and this afternoon, the nurse advised to take him to the GP in case there's "something wrong with him". Cue Mrs.Cartman ringing me up a few mins ago in tears :mad:

Any cursory research/knowledge shows that weight gain in BF babies slows down at 3 mths and the rest of his development is bang on target so very frustrating that a throwaway comment will put my wife is a state of worry and result in a completely unnecessary trip to the doctor :mad::(

Don't worry Cartman, this seems to be the attitude of quite a number of health professionals. My 11 month old is breastfed and he is much better on the breastfeeding growth charts than on the "official" ones.

You can find all the growth charts to download here: http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/en/

Cartman78

@ Emer & Ivy -

Thanks for the replies - much appreciated and confirms what I've suspected since our very first encounter with the PHN.

My wife spoke to a lactation consultant at the local maternity this morning who assured her that everything is fine, weight gain normal based on all the factors involved etc. and basically implied that all the PHN's do is plot weights on a very arbitary graph.

:mad::mad::mad: I'm still totally fuming :mad::mad::mad:

Very irresponsible behaviour from the PHN imho - she made a few other quips and comments too which my wife found very hurtful and unhelpful (I won't quote them here off the off chance that the PHN has a Google Alert set up for "Very irresponsible behaviour from the PHN").

Really bemused by the overall attitude to breastfeeding in this country - have a lengthy rant brewing but don't have time to fully vent my spleen now and this is probably not the right thread anyhoo.

Anyway, Cartman Jnr is doing super lately - Jackie Chan and Jean Claude van Damme couldn't have kept up with the amount of karate kicks he was doing on the playmat last night

Clareman

I know I should know better than to resurrect a Zombie thread but I just noticed it in my subscribed threads and thought I'd update it

Almost 8 months in now, it's hard to believe that it has only been 8 months, what was life like before nappy changes, nappy bags, car seats, baby wipes, teething rings and all the rest of the stuff that is just the norm now.

I was lucky to start a new job over a month ago, by gawd it was tough leaving her every morning, I was dreading for when Mrs. Clareman was back to work, I didn't say it to her but I would have understood if she came straight home saying she couldn't do it, but she's back over a week now. We still haven't gotten used to having to get out in the morning, we're up at 6.30 every morning, not because herself is up but so we can get stuff done (like showers and breakfast) before getting herself ready. Our daily routing seems to be up at 6.30, herself up at 7, Mrs. Clareman leaves at 8, I leave at 8.15, I'm back at 5.30 (after collecting herself), dinner when Mrs. Clareman gets home at 6, put herself to bed around 8, get stuff ready for the next day, might sit down around 9, bed around 9.30/10. The 1 thing I have noticed is I'm reading more, it's easier to read a book now than watch TV.

Family has calmed down, the in-laws have stopped calling around but my mother in law has insisted on minding herself 1 day a week, which is great, this has put my mother's nose a bit out of joint cause she wants her for a day as well, great complaints to have. Some friends and family now have their own children, I've noticed I've now turned into 1 of those smug "you poor b@st@rds have no clue what's ahead of you" people.

New addition to the gadget collection are foam squares for the floor, Bumboo seat and countless teddy bears

Neyite

I laugh at my inner smugness. I have some family members and friends due this summer and listening to them, I nod knowingly and titter a little inside. Just like, I'm sure, was done behind my back about 18 months ago. :P I was reading a thread on a parenting forum called the funniest things a soon-to-be mother has said about children. I was nearly crying with laughter on the bus. I must have looked slightly mad.

"the baby will fit into our routine"
"my child will never have a tantrum in a supermarket because I shall tell them calmly to stop it."
"I will do an open university degree while at home on mat leave"

You get the idea :pac: Now our guy has settled in at creche, and we are both working full-time, our house is constantly like a bomb had hit it, its always a game of catch-up. Toys strewn, and padded mats on the floor, But wouldnt have it any other way!

Having the granny days is great Clareman. They get bonding time with their grandchild, and it benefits the child too. Plus there is the not-so-insignificant savings on creche fees.

Clareman

The one thing I can't understand is people are always going on about what a chore it is to sterilise bottles, we bought 18 bottles on Amazon for £15 and haven't had any problems, there are a few phrases that are driving us crazy though
"I'm not telling you your business, but......."
"Well I rared 5 of ye and I never had that problem"
"Ye should change her feed"
"You're spoiling her"

I have to say 1 thing that we couldn't do without is an IP camera in her bedroom, I've it setup to be able to watch on our phones whether we are in the house or not, she has a bit of a habbit of waking up in the middle of the the night to have a bit of a chat with herself and by having the phone beside us we can just check without getting out of bed, that and Mrs. Clareman can check that I'm minding her right when she's working

IvyTheTerrible

Clareman wrote: »

The one thing I can't understand is people are always going on about what a chore it is to sterilise bottles, we bought 18 bottles on Amazon for £15 and haven't had any problems, there are a few phrases that are driving us crazy though
"I'm not telling you your business, but......."
"Well I rared 5 of ye and I never had that problem"
"Ye should change her feed"
"You're spoiling her"

I have to say 1 thing that we couldn't do without is an IP camera in her bedroom, I've it setup to be able to watch on our phones whether we are in the house or not, she has a bit of a habbit of waking up in the middle of the the night to have a bit of a chat with herself and by having the phone beside us we can just check without getting out of bed, that and Mrs. Clareman can check that I'm minding her right when she's working

I thought it wasn't recommended to sterilise bottles anymore?

liliq

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I thought it wasn't recommended to sterilise bottles anymore?

Where did you hear that?!

IvyTheTerrible

liliq wrote: »

Where did you hear that?!

My midwife told me that it was better not to sterilise, just to wash the bottles really well in hot water with washing up liquid, and to dry them upside down on a clean tea towel. Apparently it reduces allergies etc. In saying that, I didn't pay much heed seeing as I breastfed.

pwurple

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

My midwife told me that it was better not to sterilise, just to wash the bottles really well in hot water with washing up liquid, and to dry them upside down on a clean tea towel. Apparently it reduces allergies etc. In saying that, I didn't pay much heed seeing as I breastfed.

Nutty midwife alert. We have been to the allergy unit a LOT with mine. Allergies have nothing to do with sterilisation. Follow instructions on the box of formula always. It says sterilise, then you sterilise.

Moonbeam

In Ireland when using powdered milk we still need to sterilise for breast milk you just need to have everything clean.

Clareman

1 of the toughest parts of my wife coming off materity leave was leave "the girls" in the Mummy and Baby group that she was in.

On a side note, before we have herself Mrs. Clareman was awful worried about breast feeding, I have to say the acceptance of people's choices was brilliant, all the stories of "ooooh they won't like that" or "you'll be waiting to be seen" or whatever didn't exist for us.

Mink

Clareman wrote: »

I have to say 1 thing that we couldn't do without is an IP camera in her bedroom, I've it setup to be able to watch on our phones whether we are in the house or not, she has a bit of a habbit of waking up in the middle of the the night to have a bit of a chat with herself and by having the phone beside us we can just check without getting out of bed, that and Mrs. Clareman can check that I'm minding her right when she's working

I really wish we'd gone with this for our monitor. If I go again, definitely going to get a TV monitor thingy.

Mink

Neyite wrote: »

I was reading a thread on a parenting forum called the funniest things a soon-to-be mother has said about children. I was nearly crying with laughter on the bus. I must have looked slightly mad.

"the baby will fit into our routine"
"my child will never have a tantrum in a supermarket because I shall tell them calmly to stop it."
"I will do an open university degree while at home on mat leave"

I was so certain about the first and last one, I had reserved lots of projects to do while on maternity leave :pac:

My baby is not at tantrum stage yet (10.5 mths) so I'm still holding firm to the belief that he will not have tantrums in supermarkets because I'll tell him to stop. I need to hold onto it!!

Clareman

Mink wrote: »

I really wish we'd gone with this for our monitor. If I go again, definitely going to get a TV monitor thingy.

We can watch the camera through the TV if we want (we don't), it can even be viewed as picture in picture.

If you are going to go get 1 of the cameras don't bother getting anything with "Baby" in the name because they will be far more expensive than a regular camera. I got 1 of these cameras, hooked it up to my wifi and access it through the local network on my TV, phones and laptops, a little bit of tinkering made it accessible from outside as well.

Neyite

Mink wrote: »

I was so certain about the first and last one, I had reserved lots of projects to do while on maternity leave :pac:

My baby is not at tantrum stage yet (10.5 mths) so I'm still holding firm to the belief that he will not have tantrums in supermarkets because I'll tell him to stop. I need to hold onto it!!

Yep, not at the tantrum stage yet either.

Another gem that made me howl was:

"my child wont misbehave because I'm cultivating a firm yet kind stare that I will use when they start to play up"

Clareman

Sorry for the shameless bump but this week the bump changed to a baby and we're new parents all over again, I thought I'd put down some of my thoughts.

First of all, the mid-wives/nurses/doctors in the maternity hospital are just amazing, they really are doing a stellar job in difficult circumstances. Our new bundle of joy arrived without much stress on Tuesday morning, pretty much exactly the same timetable as our first but still doesn't make it any easier. People always say that you can't prepare for your first and that the second is easier, b0ll1x, might be just us but it's brand new all over again, having this small thing in your arms trying to remember feeding/burbing/changing schedules was a nightmare.

Being the second means there's a first to look after, this meant that I had to leave mother and baby in the hospital much earlier in the evening. I headed off on Wednesday morning, dropping number 1 to her grandparents with plans of calling into the hospital for a few hours and then heading into work, rang my wife to see how everything was and if she wanted anything, everything was fine so off I went. I got quite the shock when I got a call back to say that she was being left home, I didn't have a car seat or anything in the car so I had to turn around to get a bit more organised. The trip home was the same, terrifying.

Visitors aren't as bad, grandparents call in and out, we're sending clothes off with them to get stuff done and they have dropped in dinners so it's great, no so many other callers so that's a big change.

Personally, it's a massive change having another baby, another life to care for/protect while also trying to protect the first, the first was very spoiled today, spent hours in the playground, she could pick out whatever she wanted in the shop and got a nice milkshake from McDonald's.

iguana

Congrats Clareman!

Neyite

Congrats Clareman!

IvyTheTerrible

Congrats Clareman!