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New Parents
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We're 22 days in (I'm back to work tomorrow
) and I have to say that our families have been great. Not calling up to us constantly (though the MIL would if she could), helping out when they're here and generally not trying to take control. Friends have been pretty good too - a couple of people have done the, "I'm near you now, can I drop in" thing, but we've managed to get everyone to play by our rules and call in at a set time.
Sometimes people might arrive at 2 o'clock and hang around for 3 hours, but you can't really say, "OK, I've things to do now, thanks for the pressies, but GTFO". So I think we've been blessed as I know lots of people get mobbed. It also helps that I have older brothers with kids who were killed telling me to keep the visitor numbers down.
The MIL has been a little trying, but she's only trying to do what she thinks is best. She's a worrier at the best of times - on day 6 the temperatures dropped and we got a phone call at 9am asking if the baby was OK and that she'd been awake all night worrying about the cold. Eh, we do have central heating you know. She's also a little bit quick with the 1950's witch potions and old wives tales - "Oh, some sugary water is what you need", "Gripe water, best stuff in the world", "Green poo? It's gripe. Nothing you can do about it", "It's too cold in here. 18 degrees? But her hands are freezing, she must be cold", "There's a little bit of wet on her babygro, she'll catch a cold". But she's grand, we can tell she's trying really hard to keep 99% of the stuff to herself, so we put up with the 1%
My own mother was a paediatric nurse for 20 years which comes in very useful but even she can go on flights of fantasy every now and again. "Vomiting? Probably a hiatus hernia. You had that. You'll probably need to switch to bottle feeding, but see how it goes."
Yeah, we just spent more time burping the baby and that problem has gone away. 0 -
One thing to note OP is that the reverse of your situation is a lot worse. We had no visitors whatsoever as we living in the UK for work. They were long days for my wife and we ended up moving near her relatives in the end as she was finding it too difficult and lonely.My own mother was a paediatric nurse for 20 years which comes in very useful but even she can go on flights of fantasy every now and again. "Vomiting? Probably a hiatus hernia. You had that. You'll probably need to switch to bottle feeding, but see how it goes."
Yeah, we just spent more time burping the baby and that problem has gone away.
Frightening that a nurse of 20 years would give advice like that. It seems the quick fix is what they are trained to always recommend, which is quite sad.0 -
My own mother was a paediatric nurse for 20 years which comes in very useful but even she can go on flights of fantasy every now and again. "Vomiting? Probably a hiatus hernia. You had that. You'll probably need to switch to bottle feeding, but see how it goes."
Yeah, we just spent more time burping the baby and that problem has gone away.
That used to drive me crazy - not the hiatus hernia, we never had that - but the "oh you'll have to switch to bottles". I just don't get it. So many people, especially from the older generation, seem to think bottles are the answer to everything. Bizarre.0 -
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Join Date:Posts: 23144
My in laws are majorly against the boob, when they found out Mrs. Clareman was bottle feeding they were delighted, I just don't get it, why get so wound up against what someone else does that has nothing to do with you, then again my father in law nearly had a heart attack when his daughter in law breast fed her child at the lunch table 1 day and they were disgusted when she was breast feeding their child at a table at a wedding when the speeches were going on, that was cause they saw it on video, I found it amusing
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Its normal, especially with your first. People mean well and you will probably do the same yourself when someone you know is a first time parent. But everyone has to find their own feet. I have two kids now and I constantly have to tell myself that if new parents want advice they will ask for it.
Now the only advice I give is please don't turn into a baby bore, please don't act like you are the first people in the world to have a baby, please don't think because you have a newborn you are suddenly qualified to comment on how I raise my teenager and please don't think becasue I am a parent I only want to talk about children.0 -
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We were all home on day 4 and out n about on day 5 and then pretty much every day since. Just can't handle the cabin fever
Can't stress enough how good it is to get used to car seats and prams and get out doing normal things like going for a walk or going shopping. Best to do it when it's not busy of course.0 -
Join Date:Posts: 23144
We have 2 car seats and bases (1 for each car) so that's awful handy, herself is just back from visiting a friend of hers there and she's going to go shopping into Limerick tomorrow, she's bringing the little 1 with her to get used to it. We did get out for dinner last Saturday night for an hour, this Saturday night we are going to go to James Bond, inlaws do have some benefits I guess 0 -
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Join Date:Posts: 23144
Sorry for bumping but I thought it'd be a good idea to update
5 weeks in now, the whole hand washing thing has calmed down, in fact the bottle of sanitizer on the mantle piece is behind a load of cards. The visitors have calmed down a lot as well, helps that Mrs. Clareman goes up to her parents rather than have them call to us. Mrs. Clareman was always 1 for going to bed early whereas I was always 1 to stay up, so what happens now is she goes to bed around 10ish and I give the last feed after that, can be anytime from 11 to 2, I haven't missed a NFL game since she came
Some things we've noticed, if it wasn't for wind kids would be fine, just don't know what to do, there's no magic trick that we can find, just keep going. Car seats, wow, she just loves them when they're moving, when they aren't just wants out of them. Gracco Swing Seats are a great invention as well.
For us, we really have to get back to some kind of routine, dinner time is usually when she sleeps and we try anything, this has led to a lot of junk food which isn't good.0 -
Sorry for bumping but I thought it'd be a good idea to update
5 weeks in now, the whole hand washing thing has calmed down, in fact the bottle of sanitizer on the mantle piece is behind a load of cards. The visitors have calmed down a lot as well, helps that Mrs. Clareman goes up to her parents rather than have them call to us. Mrs. Clareman was always 1 for going to bed early whereas I was always 1 to stay up, so what happens now is she goes to bed around 10ish and I give the last feed after that, can be anytime from 11 to 2, I haven't missed a NFL game since she came
Some things we've noticed, if it wasn't for wind kids would be fine, just don't know what to do, there's no magic trick that we can find, just keep going. Car seats, wow, she just loves them when they're moving, when they aren't just wants out of them. Gracco Swing Seats are a great invention as well.
For us, we really have to get back to some kind of routine, dinner time is usually when she sleeps and we try anything, this has led to a lot of junk food which isn't good.
Sounds like you are doing great Its hard to imagine what you did with all that time before isn't it The lack of routine will settle down, you'll get there. How is she sleeping? 0 -
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+1Some things we've noticed, if it wasn't for wind kids would be fine, just don't know what to do, there's no magic trick that we can find, just keep going.
+2Car seats, wow, she just loves them when they're moving, when they aren't just wants out of them.
+3, thankfully we've been managing eat OK except for the need to take a cup of tea to have a breather when she finally goes asleep, along with the biccies!For us, we really have to get back to some kind of routine, dinner time is usually when she sleeps and we try anything, this has led to a lot of junk food which isn't good.
I'm glad to hear we're not the only ones finding the lack of routine and the constant winding frustrating. We were told that it gets easier after 6 weeks, but that was yesterday and I got 4 hours sleep last night 0 -
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My son is 15weeks and he'd sooner sit and watch the music stations on TV than watch baby TV!whiterob81 wrote: »9 weeks in today with the first child. some days are better than others. He slept from 8 until 6.30 this morning so we're delighted with that, but not getting too optimistic yet. Definitely agree with the wind thing. We started using colief last night and it really seems to help
I do feel guilty about being in work all the time and missing so much.
I have to say we weren't too overrun with the unsolicited advice, probably because we haven't been too overrun with visitors. Have to say her sister's been a help great. and our neighbours too. Most of the time, people who've been there before have been empathising with what we've been going through.
Although having said all that one woman in my office has been throwing some unwanted advice my way anytime i get stuck with her. I was told today I'm stunting our kid's development because we use white noise to help get him to sleep. She uses bedtime story cds to get her kid's to sleep and her 9 year old now knows them off by heart. I'm delighted for her, I really am, but my kid is 9 weeks old. I don't think he even realises his hands are attached to his body yet.
I told her we sometimes play him black sabbath too. 0 -
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Aw - it's so heartwarming to read your posts Clareman!
My son is exactly one week younger than your daughter.
I haven't had many visitors - My dad and brother only came to visit there last week, and that was only because I was giving my brother my old car to take home!
I'm so glad though - visitors really drain you when you are a new parent.
You mention the wind - yup! That is the only difficult thing about my baby too. He's such a lovely, happy little thing, but his wind is just awful - the poor little mites
My red carpet is white from the puke too!
Have tried everything, so next stage is prescription stuff. Hope it works, because I hate him being in pain all the time.
My baby loves all music - doesn't seem to have a preference at all.
Bit like me actually!0 -
Join Date:Posts: 23144
We've noticed that she holds down the hungry baby feed more so we might give that a try, but a bit of spew isn't too bad, it's all about getting the wind up we reckon (everyone is an expert).
We've to mind Mrs. Clareman's nephew tomorrow cause her brother is getting something done with the car and her sister in law wouldn't be able to cope with her 2 kids on her own, they are 3 and 1, we are taking it as a massive compliment that they don't see any problem with her minding a 3 year old and a month old0 -
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