Due June 2013

krankykitty

That's great news Jennii you decided to go back to college? (Sorry I might have missed it if you said it earlier!)

I have to admit I found the first while very challenging. I am only really getting into the swing of it now.

Jennii.

I'm glad things are coming together for you Kranky Hope everything stays positive!

Yeah I decided to go back, more cause my dad made such a deal of me deferring. I think I'll be more proud of myself in the long run if I stay in college. Terrified of leaving her all day though, it makes me sad to think of leaving her for even a minute...

krankykitty

It will be hard going but worth it in the end. I know what you mean about the worry of leaving her all day. I'm taking a full year off work and I am already dreading the idea of sending her to creche etc.

Jennii.

Aww least you have the time off, I'm dreading leaving her, she'll only be 2 months..

Jennii.

I'm sure she will be perfectly fine in creche she'll make friends and be social!

paperclipgrad

So here's the birth story for anyone who's interested!


I went into the hospital on Thursday 4th for an induction. I was put into admissions where they put me on a trace for a while and we waited to see whether a bed was available on the postnatal ward (if there wasn't one, I'd be asked to come back in the morning). Good news, there was a bed available, so they led me to my bed and I settled down. They asked me to put on my nightgown so they could examine me to see whether I was dilated or not- I was, 1.5 cm- and they decided to give me the 1mg gel that night. I got it about 10pm and my husband went home afterwards. I had a few contractions that night, but they were irregular and nothing to write home about. In the morning, they checked me again and I was around the same, so they gave me a 2mg gel. This was at around 7am. At 1pm I was getting fairly regular contractions which I was able to manage with breathing and a cold facecloth. At around 3pm they moved me up into the labour ward, at this stage I was on the TENS machine but had to stop quite a few times on my way up to the labour ward. At this stage the contractions were quite painful but still manageable with the TENS, cold cloth and breathing. When I got into the delivery room, they gave me gas and air which made me feel quite woozy but it did make the contractions easier to deal with. At around 6pm? I got a shot of pethidine. The contractions were very close together at this stage and had been that way since 4pm. I was 4cm dilated then. At 9pm they checked again and I was still 4cm dilated. They told me they would put me on the syntocin drip to speed things up, this meant the contractions would get more severe.

The fact that the dilation was so slow and I was in a lot of pain at that point, together with the promise of more severe contractions got me to agree to an epidural.
After the epidural, I could relax and I even had a small nap. At 11pm they took me off the drip because baby's heart rate was dropping too low during the contractions. I couldn't feel anything and watched my contractions on the monitor. It was bizarre. At about midnight, they checked again and said I was fully dilated!! I was amazed that it was so quick and I asked 'When will I be pushing?' They told me I would have the baby in the next hour. I couldn't really comprehend it.

Baby's heartbeat was difficult to monitor due to her position in the womb, so they put a clip on her head. I asked if they could see the head and they said they could- then I asked if the baby had hair? They said, just a tiny bit...

The doctor examined me and said that the baby's head was presented the wrong way around, that it would require a vacuum extraction so she would be rotated around while I pushed. They put my legs up and told me to push during contractions. Three contractions later, Susanna was born! I felt her head come out, then a little slither as the rest of her was born. There was a bit of commotion and then they put her on my stomach. She had her eyes wide open and she looked a bit shocked. I asked 'what is it?' and moved apart the legs to look. It's a girl! They took her away then to be cleaned and weighed while they stitched me up and so on. Conal took photos and held her for a while, then gave her back to me. I tried breastfeeding her and she latched on for a few minutes. They transferred me to another bed and brought me down to the ward while holding Susie. I had a cannula removed (it was broken) and Conal went home at 4am for some sleep. Then I began my first night with Susie. She slept on and off and fed a few times during the night. I was woken up at 5.30 for another cannula to be put back in, 7 am for a check up and conal returned at 9. It was so special having the three of us together, our little family.

aknitter

Not sure if anyone will see this but a bit of advise/opionions would be welcome.
We don't talk to my Mother in Law, well I suppose thats not the way to describe it. We don't make the effort to contact her and then there is no contact. My husband decided this after the appaling way she treated us and our (then 11 year old) daughter on the run up to our wedding a while back. She is very passive agressive and it would take far too long to go into everything here but the worst thing she did was A) not sit a the top table with us on the day at the meal and use our 11 year old to tell us this beforehand. Now we happily gave her what she wanted on the day because if we confronted her about the issue she would have refused to go and made a scene where we were the bad guys. We knew there was something up on the run up to the wedding, approached her and were blown off - see passive aggressive.

So after our honeymoon we said we'd talk to her but we were not going to initiate contact at all. Following 12 months our daughter didn't get so much as a text for her birthday or christmas (or her son, my hubby for that matter). Our son arrived a year after the wedding, we didn't get a congratulations or a text or a card. She did send a present to our daughter for her new brother. Nothing was said to either me or my hubby. We didn't invite her to the christening. The christmas after son was born MIL sent a pressie to daughter and not to son. We sent it back. No way were we going to allow her to play her game by cutting so blatantly our son.

Heres the problem, with the new baby she called my husband up out of the blue yesterday and asked if it was ok to send something up for the new baby. He said fine. I have just provisionally booked the christening, do I invite her? Now it was conversation that was 16 seconds long, she didn't ask after any of us, (dont think she even said hello) and well the tone she used (you have to know her) is of the one making this magnanimous gesture after suffering a horrible insult but being big enough to make the first step.
Personally I don't want to have her back in our lives but she is my husbands mother and he would like a normal relationship with her, so do we invite her to the christening or even make any other gestures which could lead to a reconciliation. (which will be on my terms - as I have told my hubby, we are still discussing it).

paperclipgrad

Prefacing this by saying: just my 2 cents...

I would invite her to the Christening. It'll be up to her whether or not she goes, but for the sake of your children to have their grandmother in their lives, even if only occasionally. I would try and ignore her past behaviour, wipe the board clean and try not to hold grudges. Give her a chance to make up for her behaviour without letting it colour how you see her. She obviously does want to see her grandchildren (otherwise she wouldn't send presents etc). It won't be easy but (in my opinion anyway) it's better than holding the gates shut. Reconciliation may be slow but if you don't see each other and don't talk, it can't ever happen.

MurdyWurdy

I'd invite her too, for the reasons paperclipgrad has said. It sucks that she is that way, and she has treated your son so poorly but if you think she won't ruin the day or cause too much trouble I reckon be the bigger person and invite her.

aknitter

Thanks guys, Murdy you hit the nail on the head with worrying about her ruining the day - my in laws are seperated and while my father in law will be civil and polite, the same can not be said of her but unfortuatley we are well used to her and just ignore her bad behaviour. Its her attitude that will annoy me more.

Paperclip, you're not to know this but she had the chance to talk to our older daughter one day and she just ignored her. Also she has done the same thing to my sister in law with her kids and only for my sister in law making the first move she wouldn't be talking to her either (and they live in the same town).

I can't change how I feel about her at this stage, but I would like to be civil and polite for the sake of my children and husband. I can forgive and (try to) forget this time but if it happens again - espically if I ever have to answer one of my children's questions about why "Nana won't talk to me", I will not be willing to patch things up. I think I'll suggest to husband that when the present arrives he calls (would be best) or texts to say thanks and invite her to the house to see the kids, before the christening - that way balls with her and its not a formal occasion.

Thanks for the input lads, its good to have other points of view at times.

MommaFitz

Hi all, hope all is going well (apart from MIL issues of course)!
Sophie is 8wks tomorrow, the time is flying! The smiles we've been getting the last couple of weeks make all the hard work worthwhile. ðŸ˜

aknitter

Trying to capture the smiles on camera can be tough though!!