Walking home alone at night

solerina

I live under a mile from the pubs/clubs nearby so I have walked home alone many many times over the years and have always said to my self that there will be taxis etc passing by so I will be fine....Im sure that what poor Jill though too....RIP

Angelandie

Funnily enough, I will never let a friend walk home alone ever but I often walk home myself! I live within a 10 minute walk of most clubs and pubs here in the city and always think whats the point in wasting money or waiting twenty mins for a cab when I could be home in that time. Although only when I have my wits about me and I'm very vigilant. If I feel tipsy, then I always grab a cab even though its not that far.

Da Shins Kelly

I pretty much always walk home with someone or alone, if there's no one else. Very rarely pay for taxis. The Jill Meagher story has really spooked me though. You just never think that something like that will happen to you, no one does. That's the kind of thing that happens to other people.

I've never truly felt in any danger though when walking home. I've never been in any situations that have made me anxious. That's not to say it won't ever happen. It can happen to anyone, and if anything seeing the CCTV footage of Jill talking to her killer has really brought that home. Just seeing her there, dressed up for the night, she looks like any normal girl you see out. That could be one of your friends, or even yourself. It has certainly made me think twice about the whole walking home alone thing.

RIP and condolences to her family. The whole thing is just horrific.

sillysmiles

sillysmiles wrote: »

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

+1

EXACTLY. I don't get why people can't see how much they're victim blaming when they say things like 'stay safe, don't walk home alone.' There's also the possibility of being murdered by a taxi driver, followed off a night bus and raped at the bus stop outside your house (happened to someone near where I used to live) or even the friend/friend of a friend who walks you home being the one to attack you.

2rkehij30qtza5

I used to walk home a lot by myself but then one night, while living in Dublin a guy tried to drag me down a lane in the middle of Rathmines. He came out of nowhere. I turned and ran the fastest I could run with him hot on my heels. Luckily I came across a group of 3 guys who saw what was happening and chased him away. SInce then I don't walk anywhere alone.

One of my sisters was almost pulled into a car in broad daylight in Galway a number of years ago and had the wits about her to get the guy's number plate. The Gardaí said he had done it before when they checked him out.

My best friend was chased by a guy in Newcastle, Galway one night while walking home alone. Luckily nothing happened her and she got onto the main road off the shortcut path she was taking just on time.

They are my stories and I guarantee I'm not alone in having near misses. Let Jill Meagher's death be a lesson to us all. DO not walk alone but If you have to, I suggest you take a look at Oprah's clip on Youbtube called 'do not go to the second location'.

RIP Jill Meagher and God Bless her family and husband Tom. Heaven has another angel. So sad.

Da Shins Kelly

I don't see how it's victim blaming to say that someone should mind themselves walking home. Of course it's completely the fault of the perpetrator who committed the crime, girls who get attacked are never to blame. However, we live in a pretty messed up world and I don't think there's anything wrong in reminding people to just be wise and to look after yourself. It's not victim-blaming, it's just accepting the reality that we live in a dangerous world, particularly for young women, and that it's best to be vigilant and take care on a night out.

Honey-ec

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

It's not victim-blaming, it's just accepting the reality that we live in a dangerous world, particularly for young women, and that it's best to be vigilant and take care on a night out.

But that's the thing - statistically speaking it's not that dangerous. Men are far, far more likely to be the victim of a violent assault than women. And women are far more likely to be raped/murdered by someone known to them than the oft-warned-against stranger in the night.

I've no problem with the odd reminder to apply a bit of cop on when comporting yourself at night with a few drinks on board. But exaggerating the danger isn't doing anyone any favours either.

dfx-

kylith wrote: »

My friends and I always text each other to say we got home safe, and if someone doesn't do it by lunchtime the next day then we start calling them or dropping round to the house.

My female work colleagues/friends do this and I am always wondering - aloud - why. Cases like this remind me.

I feel very secure in the city centre at night - very few people bother me, though maybe that's being 6'4 and male, but as mentioned above, that's not necessarily any help. I find the time to walk in north inner city Dublin is later the better. I forget not everyone is familiar and has alternative routes or 'escape' routes.

I should be more safety conscious the more I think of it..

Da Shins Kelly

Honey-ec wrote: »

But that's the thing - statistically speaking it's not that dangerous. Men are far, far more likely to be the victim of a violent assault than women. And women are far more likely to be raped/murdered by someone known to them than the oft-warned-against stranger in the night.

I've no problem with the odd reminder to apply a bit of cop on when comporting yourself at night with a few drinks on board. But exaggerating the danger isn't doing anyone any favours either.

That said, I think it's pretty irresponsible to be all, 'Oh sure, it's fine! You'll be grand, you've nothing to fear! Don't be afraid to walk home alone!'

_petulia_

brainyneuron wrote: »

With the horrific story of Jill Meaghar in the news at the moment, its brought personal safety at night back into the limelight. She was only metres from her home and refused both an offer of a taxi and an offer of a friend to walk her home. 'I'll be fine' or 'I'm only up the road' are what she probably thought.

Many people think the same every night in every town around Ireland and the world, 99% of the time nothing happens, they get home safe and sound. But its that 1% that can change your life or your family's lives forever. Risking your life walking home alone is never worth the money saved by not taking a taxi or taking up your friends time by accepting their offer to accompany you home. Stay safe!

I'm not trying to be sanctimonious or anything. I'm not perfect, I have done it once after being out in town, walked out to the edge of town on my own to get a taxi easier. I knew it wasn't safe and I did it anyway.

So I guess I'll throw the question out to you guys. Have you ever walked home alone?

I will start this by saying I think what happened to Jill Meagher is tragic and I believe every woman everywhere should be able to walk home alone at night without fear of attack.

But I can't say I've ever walked home alone at night, I've heard far too many stories to ever take the risk.

fits

I dont think blanket rules ever apply. The key is to exercise good judgement at all times. I currently live in an urban area and I walk or cycle home late at night and will continue to, because I believe it is safe to do so.

I am truly saddened and touched by what happened to Jill Meagher. It is absolutely devastating. But, while I hope it makes people more aware of their saftety, that they dont overreact. I think you're far more likely to die in a car accident in a taxi on the way home than you are to meet the same fate Jill did if you walk. But. like I said, there are some places I'll walk and some places I wont. And our perception of risk is often a little off.

Some years ago I lived in the country and used to regularly walk my dogs at night time with no torch (not anywhere I would meet a car). A friend of mine asked me once, if I wasnt afraid of being attacked. I told her that she was far more likely to be attacked walking to work in pearse st.

Gauss

Jazlynn Ancient Scab wrote: »

sillysmiles wrote: »

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

+1

EXACTLY. I don't get why people can't see how much they're victim blaming when they say things like 'stay safe, don't walk home alone.' There's also the possibility of being murdered by a taxi driver, followed off a night bus and raped at the bus stop outside your house (happened to someone near where I used to live) or even the friend/friend of a friend who walks you home being the one to attack you.

You've been brainwashed by this whole "victim blaming" thing.

It's not blaming, it's trying to look out for an individual's personal safety.

eviltwin

When I was 18/19 and coming home from clubs I would always get a nitelink back to my village and walk the 5 mins through my estate back to my house. I never felt scared, I was alert and watchful but I never felt afraid. I always carried a pair of flats that I changed into on the bus and I never drank so much I was unsteady. I thought I was taking precautions but really had I been unlucky enough to meet a guy or a group of guys I was going to be totally powerless to stop them.

Now that I am older I would never do that again, I'm horrified that I ever did. I still don't feel afraid but you have to be sensible and not do anything that makes you a target for someone who might want to rape/kill you or just steal your handbag. I don't think its victim blaming, just common sense and I would always encourage men to take the same precautions I would.

Eve_Dublin

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

That said, I think it's pretty irresponsible to be all, 'Oh sure, it's fine! You'll be grand, you've nothing to fear! Don't be afraid to walk home alone!'

I don't think Honey-ec said that though, she simply said exaggerating the real chances of anything happening is counterproductive. She acknowledged you have to have your wits about you though.

Ickle Magoo

Gauss wrote: »

You've been brainwashed by this whole "victim blaming" thing.

I don't think that's necessarily true, tbh.

Gauss wrote: »

It's not blaming, it's trying to look out for an individual's personal safety.

Except it doesn't - it just gives a false impression that by using taxis and not walking in the dark alone the world is much safer and if only women play by these "rules" victims can magically avoid becoming victims - which equates to those who didn't play by those rules influencing their own victim-hood.

Of course, it's all a load of hogwash anyway...certain behaviours reduce the likelihood of being the victim of one rare and random violent crime and changes it to another while ignoring the circumstances under which the majority of violent crime goes on.

Eve_Dublin

I've never taken taxis on a regular basis, mainly because I couldn't and can't afford them and actually, I've had a few creepy experiences getting taxis home - one groped my leg while we were driving home and one followed me to my front door and asked to come in. It didn't turn me off getting them as I think I was just unlucky but it did put pay to the idea that it was the safer option for me.

I feel very safe in this city walking home as people usually stay out so late, the streets are always busy.

AnnyHallsal

I walked home at half two the other night, about forty minutes through the city and suburbs. However, I would try to avoid it and usually get a taxi because I had a bad experience a number of years ago. There was a guy walking behind me on the opposite side of the road. I crossed roads a few times and he was still behind me. He caught up, got very close and I said I'd prefer if he didn't talk to me. He pushed me against a door, put his hand up my skirt and said "If I wanted to hurt you I would have by now, ya stupid b**ch." I banged on that door and shouted and he ran up a road across the way. No-one responded so I took off my heels and ran home as fast as I could. It was a minor incident but the grope and aggression frightened the sh*t out of me. Yeah, incidents are statistically unlikely but it's still a risk.

Eve_Dublin

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I walked home at half two the other night, about forty minutes through the city and suburbs. However, I would try to avoid it and usually get a taxi because I had a bad experience a number of years ago. There was a guy walking behind me on the opposite side of the road. I crossed roads a few times and he was still behind me. He caught up, got very close and I said I'd prefer if he didn't talk to me. He pushed me against a door, put his hand up my skirt and said "If I wanted to hurt you I would have by now, ya stupid b**ch." I banged on that door and shouted and he ran up a road across the way. No-one responded so I took off my heels and ran home as fast as I could. It was a minor incident but the grope and aggression frightened the sh*t out of me. Yeah, incidents are statistically unlikely but it's still a risk.

Jaysus. Sorry that happened to you.

macross

What happened to Jill Meagher was an absolute tragedy! It brings back feelings I had around the time of the Michaela Harte murder- you know, 'the wrong place at the wrong time' and gets you thinking of the circumstances that led to her, unfortunately, meeting her attacker at that precise time -'if only' she'd taken the lift, if only she'd had one more/less drink, if only it had taken her longer to say her goodbyes/less time, if only she'd been feeling sick that day, they'd chosen a different pub etc etc.

That said it is impossible to stay completely safe 100% of the time! I agree with previous posters who said that 99.99% of the time you'll get from A to B hassle free but I see no problem with people becoming a little more safety conscious! Unfortunately there continue to be men like him wandering around towns and cities in our country and although you might manage to evade them someone else may not be as lucky- blaming any victim of such attacks is not on- some of these men, including Jill Meagher's attacker- are very opportunistic. Some of them attack in daytime, some in busy areas etc. and we can't hide ourselves away 24 hours a day.

Personal experience last night: get a taxi on my own at a cost of €30 or a nightlink bus for €5 with a 5 minute walk at the end? Went with the bus and walked very briskly from the stop home while chatting on the phone with my OH until I was safely in the door!

Ickle Magoo

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't think that's necessarily true, tbh.



Except it doesn't - it just gives a false impression that by using taxis and not walking in the dark alone the world is much safer and if only women play by these "rules" victims can magically avoid becoming victims - which equates to those who didn't play by those rules influencing their own victim-hood.

Of course, it's all a load of hogwash anyway...certain behaviours reduce the likelihood of being the victim of one rare and random violent crime and changes it to another while ignoring the circumstances under which the majority of violent crime goes on.

Exactly. It's human nature to think, 'oh that happened to her because she did X, so I won't do X and that means I'll be OK.' Everyone does it to some extent. It's human nature to try to feel safe and convince yourself you're in control, so by creating 'rules' to follow, you'll be fine. The problem is that it's largely bullsh*t.

I think some people don't get that 'victim blaming' isn't just saying things like 'she deserved it because she was wearing a miniskirt' - it's also taking a situation like this and saying 'don't walk home alone - she did it and look what happened to her' as if it's really that simple. It's not about personal safety - there's nothing wrong with giving advice like don't wear earphones, try not to walk in secluded areas if possible. That's common sense. But after a tragedy like this, you get the kneejerk reactions from so many people. 'WALKING HOME ALONE IS SO DANGEROUS! YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT!' This completely ignores the fact that being a lone woman puts you at risk in most situations. It's a small risk, but it's always there. You could be attacked by the taxi driver. You could be attacked on the train. You could be attacked by someone waiting for you in the lobby of your apartment building who forces his way into your flat. These things have all happened.

The sensible reaction is to use common sense and be aware of your surroundings as much as possible - everything else is pretty much down to chance unless you're happy to wrap yourself up in cotton wool and not live your life. Following 'rules' based on the latest incident in the news is just ridiculous.

Lia_lia

I often walk home alone from work at 2am/3am. My house is just outside the town, about a mile away. I don't have any fear about it, which is probably bad! People always give out to me for walking home alone because I'd live in a kinda "rough" area too (although there isn't really a rough area in Killarney but sure..) But I can't afford to pay a fiver for taxi And usually the car is at home because my brother has it all night. I dunno. Can't be too safe about everything.

sillysmiles

Jazlynn Ancient Scab wrote: »

I think some people don't get that 'victim blaming' isn't just saying things like 'she deserved it because she was wearing a miniskirt' - it's also taking a situation like this and saying 'don't walk home alone - she did it and look what happened to her' as if it's really that simple.

Exactly!

eviltwin

I was just out walking my dog in the local park, not a soul around, far back from the road and it stuck me that if anyone wanted to hurt me I was an easy target. No one would be around to help me or hear me. Given that its a popular spot for dog walkers, runners etc any scumbag would be better off hanging around there during the day than waiting around the roads at night on the off chance he meets a lone woman.

The point is that I am not prepared to give up my dog walks or run "just in case", I can't always depend on someone else being there so what do I do? We have to live our lives and I am not prepared to modify my timetable so I can only go out to isolated spots when I am sure they will be populated. That is not living.

Jill Meagher was just unlucky, we will never know how many other women have walked down that road and never had a problem, we only ever hear when something goes wrong. We can't allow that to scare us to the point that we never do anything on our own or go out always looking over our shoulder.

Ave Sodalis

I walk home from a club often as it's about a half hour walk, maybe a little more and I'd only walk half of it on my own as my friends live half ways there. I've never felt unsafe until recently when I was walking home on my own at half 2 and I bumped into an old stalker of mine. Although I got rid of him fairly quickly, I was terrified the whole way home that he would follow me. Luckily, he didn't but I'm not particularly keen on walking alone again in case next time he does.

I think what happened to Jill was terrible and a very real possibility but I don't think it should make girls feel unsafe on the streets. Aware, yes but fearful, no. My thoughts are with her family and friends

Michael Weston

xDramaxQueenx wrote: »

Often. i live about 3 miles outside our nearest town. when it comes down to having your last 10 euro, its either 2 more drinks or a taxi. I've often chose the drinks. was never overly concerned because where I live is very quiet, a car wouldn't even pass by on your way home once you got out of town.

I know its the ladies lounge, but please dont do that again. Three miles is too far to be walking on your own. Never again now, do ya hear me ??

B0jangles

Michael Weston wrote: »

I know its the ladies lounge, but please dont do that again. Three miles is too far to be walking on your own. Never again now, do ya hear me ??

How extraordinarily patronizing of you.

Michael Weston

B0jangles wrote: »

How extraordinarily patronizing of you.

The last bit was tongue in cheek, but the concern is genuine..

DundalkDuffman

Michael Weston wrote: »

I know its the ladies lounge, but please dont do that again. Three miles is too far to be walking on your own. Never again now, do ya hear me ??

Listen to this man, he used to be a spy

jaffacakesyum

I often walk home on my own. I agree with what Bojangles and a few others have been saying. Of course, you always have to have your wits among you. But I think it's crazy to live your life in fear and always have to have someone with you 24/7 no matter what you do, simply because you're a woman and it's 'dangerous'. Yes, it can be dangerous but as has been mentioned statistically men are more likely to be attacked yet people are far less concerned with men walking home alone at night.

I would say that, where possible, travel in groups of two or more if you have friends that live nearby, and get taxis home in groups if possible. But I know myself, I can't afford taxis. I don't think it does anyone favours to scaremonger so just have your wits about you but realise that the risk of something horrible happening like to poor Jill, is unlikely. So it's up to you if you want to take the risk or not.

dearg lady

I walk or cycle home, never take taxis, I really don't see how it's safer.

sky2424 wrote: »

Yes I've walked home in the past- only in cities as they tend to be better lit and yes Id be a lot more hesitant now. Id feel alot more comfortable walking home before midnight but anytime after that id prefer a taxi.

I quoted the above because the whole mobile phone thing struck me about Jills case. I (and Im guessing others) feel somewhat safer walking home if I have a mobile and I'll admit that if i ever felt uneasy during a walk home ill text or call someone to put my mind at ease. Not necessarily call the person to tell them that i feel uneasy but more to just distract myself.

Anyway what struck me about this is the fact that Jill made a call on her way home, and ive wondered if that was because she felt uneasy. Im not too sure but she may have made it after speaking to the guy.

TBH looking at this case, phoning people on your way home mightnt be the best way to reassure yourself as it distracts you from your surroundings and its definitely made me think that having a phone with me isnt that comforting after all.

In general I think the advice would be not to talk on your phone when walking home alone, as it is distracting. Walk confidently, and keep an eye out around you. Don't use a phone or have earphones in. When walking through quiet estates I often walk in the middle of the road when there's no cars around so no one can sneak out on me..

Just reiterating what's been said, do take precautions, but live your life, I couldn't cope with having to always depend on someone else, be a friend, boyfriend, taxi driver, to feel safe, I need to feel ok on my own.