Walking home alone at night

brainyneuron

With the horrific story of Jill Meaghar in the news at the moment, its brought personal safety at night back into the limelight.

So I guess I'll throw the question out to you guys. Have you ever walked home alone? If you have, have you felt safe? Has anything ever happened?

I have done it once or twice after being out in town, walked out to the edge of town on my own to get a taxi easier. I've never walked all the way home alone (mainly cos it'd take about an hour and I'm lazy!)

xDramaxQueenx

Often. i live about 3 miles outside our nearest town. when it comes down to having your last 10 euro, its either 2 more drinks or a taxi. I've often chose the drinks. was never overly concerned because where I live is very quiet, a car wouldn't even pass by on your way home once you got out of town.

jaja321

This story has really upset me. I can’t imagine what her husband and family are going through right now. RIP.

It really brings home the point too about walking home. For the most part I always get cabs, but I have walked home from time to time, when I think I'm not too far away from home (although what is too far, when you read this story).

One night on my way home, I hopped into a cab, and was promptly told by the taxi driver to get out because the journey was too short. I know this is illegal but at 2am in the morning getting his number and reporting him was the last thing on my mind. Was a couple of winters ago, when the roads and paths were really icy. Ended up walking home as I couldn’t get another cab. Luckily the worst that happened me was losing my phone in the ice on the way home. Was pretty pissed at him the next day though, as he gave no thought at all for what could have happened to a woman walking home at 2am on her own.

woodchuck

I tend not to stay out particularly late anymore, but when I did I never walked home (purely because it was way too far!). But there were times when I would've walked to a taxi rank myself.

These days the latest I stay out in town tends to be 11... I'd usually walk to the bus stop myself and walk home from the bus stop (~5-10mins walk). I try to be safe though; stick to 'main' pathways (no shortcuts) and always have my phone handy incase there's someone around that's causing me concern.

Anyone know anywhere in Ireland that sells pepperspray or the likes?

woodchuck

woodchuck wrote: »

Anyone know anywhere in Ireland that sells pepperspray or the likes?

Pepperspray is illegal in Ireland, and even if you did have it, you're as likely to have it grabbed from you and used on you as anything else.
Just stay safe and prepare to run

xDramaxQueenx

woodchuck wrote: »

Anyone know anywhere in Ireland that sells pepperspray or the likes?

as far as i know, its illegal.

Goat the dote

I wouldn't be comfortable walking home alone but one time I got a taxi and fell asleep outside my parents front door and woke at half five. No memory of even getting out of the taxi. My friends had thought I was gone in and had gone on

syklops

She was only metres from her home

Im not being smart, but if she was only metres from her home when she was kidnapped, then surely the issue is not safety when walking home at night, but just general safety.

Although we dont know enough about what happened to make any kind of future recommendations on personal safety. I wouldnt be surprised if it turns out she knew her attacker, but that is pure speculation on my part.

TeletextPear

syklops wrote: »

Im not being smart, but if she was only metres from her home when she was kidnapped, then surely the issue is not safety when walking home at night, but just general safety.

Although we dont know enough about what happened to make any kind of future recommendations on personal safety. I wouldnt be surprised if it turns out she knew her attacker, but that is pure speculation on my part.

Police have already said it was a random attack and she didn't know her killer.

Anyway, back on topic. I used to work nights, finishing around 11pm or so, and I would get a taxi 99% of the time. The parts of the city I was would have had to walk through to get a bus home were just too deserted to risk it. Nowadays if I was ever out late in the city I'd either get a taxi to the door or else get a bus if it was early enough and have my bf pick me up from the bus stop.

syklops

Police have already said it was a random attack and she didn't know her killer.

I already said it was specualtion, but are random kidnappings and murder so common in Melbourne, that police can just chalk it up to that?

Lucyfur

I used to walk home alone, all the time, with no fear.

Now? No. Never. I live in a quite area - personally, it wouldn't make a difference if I lived in a large housing estate with lots of lighting, I still wouldn't walk home alone.
If I am out, I'll either drive, and someone will walk me to my car. Or I'll get a cab/my OH will pick me up, and again, I'll have company until that happens. If I'm getting a taxi, I'll put a few quid away for it at the beginning of the night.

I would never let a friend walk home alone. I may be a bit excessive, but I adopt a ''nowhere's safe'' attitude.

LizT

I never walk home alone. The town I live in can be very quiet but often there's a rough crowd out. My house is only a 10 minute walk from town and I do sometimes feel a bit stupid getting into a taxi for a 2 minute drive but it's about safety at the end of the day.

pwurple

I used to always get a taxi, but had a scary experience a few years ago with a taxi driver going the wrong way, and trying to chat me up. I pretended to get a phonecall, and asked to be dropped straight away (said someone was coming to get me) Freaked me out no end, so I will never get a taxi alone now either.

Now I either walk, cycle, get bus, drive myself, or go with someone else who is driving. And when walking I follow my grandfather's advice... "Walk with purpose".

rockclover1

I have risked walking home alone while after having a few beers,which is not worth it,as there is always some creep that spots you on your way home alone in a small town.Hands up guilty as sin for that.But there are lots of people who commute from work late,and have a few after hours drinks from work then they risk walking it home esp if they are near.But after the jill meagher thing,and given it was an oppurtunisitic crime,it does make me think twice at least.

mitosis

xDramaxQueenx wrote: »

Often. i live about 3 miles outside our nearest town. when it comes down to having your last 10 euro, its either 2 more drinks or a taxi. I've often chose the drinks. was never overly concerned because where I live is very quiet, a car wouldn't even pass by on your way home once you got out of town.

The trouble with that is if you were attacked there'd be no one around to intervene.

sillysmiles

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

sillysmiles

sillysmiles wrote: »

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

Of course it was all his fault, but we'd all rather it just not happen in the first place than go through something like that and *then* worry about blame

Toast4532

I never walk home alone, I will always get a taxi. I don't care if it means I have to scrimp to get by the following week, I would rather get home safely rather than take a chance of anything happening.

B0jangles

bluewolf wrote: »

Of course it was all his fault, but we'd all rather it just not happen in the first place than go through something like that and *then* worry about blame

But focussing on this terrible crime as a general warning that it is not safe for a woman to walk home alone at night creates yet another "don't to this or you'll be in danger" warning to add to the 1000's most women have been fed since we were kids. Jill walked a short distance along ordinary streets that she had walked many times before. I walked very similar distances from my job to my home at 9-10 P.M. along quiet suburban streets every night for a year - could I have been attacked?

Yes, an attack is always possible, however it is unlikely.

Should I have organised my life around this possibility anyway? - e.g. ordered a taxi to get me home or waited for a family member to come and meet me every night?

Stastically, women are overwhelmingly likely to be attacked/raped in their own homes by people they know, but no-one suggests women should remained in mixed groups of 3 or more in order to be safe at all times. The case of Jill Meagher is terrible, horrifying and very very sad but thankfully such crimes are rare.

It is very tempting to try to make up rules to live by that, if followed will 100% remove the risk of being attacked. But the only ones likely to actaully work would involve a level of segregation from society that would be unbearable for most people.

Cases like this are thankfully pretty rare in this country. I don't think women should be encouraged to live their day-to-day lives in fear, preparing for a relatively unlikely crime to occur.

Pembily

I walk and cycle home alone, one the journey is short, not too dead and well lit. I also walk to and from the nightlink, I'm not exactly going to get a taxi to the nightlink. The walk from the nightlink is short, I could be attacked, I'm sure some would say it's a low possibility as I live in a fancy area but I could just as easily be hit by a car.

I'm sure some people think it's selfish of me to have "such a disregard" for my safety, but that's their opinion. I have only once felt unsafe and that was well outside the city I was staying in.


It's about having sense, being smart and being careful.

A girl was murdered in Galway one morning at 6am on her way home from work. I've walked that same road, alone, at night a few times, we never batted an eye lid till that happened but we still walked there but were just more cautious.

Honey-ec

I was just about to post pretty much what Bojangles said. You can't legislate for everything that might happen to you and still expect to live anywhere near a normal life. You have to apply common sense and a risk/reward aspect to everything. Would I go walking through certain areas of town at night on my own? Of course not. Do I walk the kilometre or so between my local and my house alone on a regular basis? Yes, because the risk involved in doing so is completely outweighed by the "reward" of being able to go home whenever I want without having to wait for someone to come with me.

People should be far more worried about getting into their cars to drive to work every day than being attacked by a stranger on the street at night.

I really, really don't want to demean what happened to Jill Meagher. But, statistically, the chances of this happening to you are so slight that it's genuinely not worth changing your whole lifestyle in order to avoid it. But I do think we're going to see a big "paranoia industry" pop up out of this over the next few weeks, with people advertising self defence classes and personal alarms and the like.

kylith

I occasionally walk home; 99% of my journey is on a main road. I know I could be snatched in that 1% of the walk, but I figure that my chances of being raped and murdered in the 100m to my home are probably about equal to my chances of being raped and murdered by a nutbag posing as a taxi driver, with more chance of being heard if I screamed. I could get the Nightlink or the Luas, but I'd still have to walk that 100m.

My friends and I always text each other to say we got home safe, and if someone doesn't do it by lunchtime the next day then we start calling them or dropping round to the house.

cassiedoll

I have walked home a few times from the local pub but not anymore. With a few drinks on me, i had a tendancy to think "i'll be grand, i'm only 5 minutes down the road" but not only that i wouldn't have my full senses about me cos of the drink so if anybody did approach me to rob me or even worse, i don't think i would be able to react the way i would soberly.

I think of the time i got a taxi home from town one night. I wasn't in the mood of drinking anymore so i left on my own and got in a taxi in a dodgy part of town and after bout 10 minutes in to the journey, the taxi driver pulls in to let his friend in the car to "give him a lift, he only lives 2 minutes away". When the driver was stopped at lights, i jumped out and he shouted after me for money. I should have reported him but too much drink on me to take in any info on the car or taxi plate.

sky2424

woodchuck wrote: »

These days the latest I stay out in town tends to be 11... I'd usually walk to the bus stop myself and walk home from the bus stop (~5-10mins walk). I try to be safe though; stick to 'main' pathways (no shortcuts) and always have my phone handy incase there's someone around that's causing me concern.

Anyone know anywhere in Ireland that sells pepperspray or the likes?

Yes I've walked home in the past- only in cities as they tend to be better lit and yes Id be a lot more hesitant now. Id feel alot more comfortable walking home before midnight but anytime after that id prefer a taxi.

I quoted the above because the whole mobile phone thing struck me about Jills case. I (and Im guessing others) feel somewhat safer walking home if I have a mobile and I'll admit that if i ever felt uneasy during a walk home ill text or call someone to put my mind at ease. Not necessarily call the person to tell them that i feel uneasy but more to just distract myself.

Anyway what struck me about this is the fact that Jill made a call on her way home, and ive wondered if that was because she felt uneasy. Im not too sure but she may have made it after speaking to the guy.

TBH looking at this case, phoning people on your way home mightnt be the best way to reassure yourself as it distracts you from your surroundings and its definitely made me think that having a phone with me isnt that comforting after all.

sillysmiles

Bojangles said exactly what I was thinking, but far more eloquently!

There are always dangers in things and this feeling that, as a woman I can go anywhere or do anything by myself as I may be in danger for some unknown and unknowable entity.

It is far more important to follow your instincts and be aware than have a blanket fear of everything.

jaja321

B0jangles wrote: »

But focussing on this terrible crime as a general warning that it is not safe for a woman to walk home alone at night creates yet another "don't to this or you'll be in danger" warning to add to the 1000's most women have been fed since we were kids. Jill walked a short distance along ordinary streets that she had walked many times before. I walked very similar distances from my job to my home at 9-10 P.M. along quiet suburban streets every night for a year - could I have been attacked?

Yes, an attack is always possible, however it is unlikely.

Should I have organised my life around this possibility anyway? - e.g. ordered a taxi to get me home or waited for a family member to come and meet me every night?

Stastically, women are overwhelmingly likely to be attacked/raped in their own homes by people they know, but no-one suggests women should remained in mixed groups of 3 or more in order to be safe at all times. The case of Jill Meagher is terrible, horrifying and very very sad but thankfully such crimes are rare.

It is very tempting to try to make up rules to live by that, if followed will 100% remove the risk of being attacked. But the only ones likely to actaully work would involve a level of segregation from society that would be unbearable for most people.

Cases like this are thankfully pretty rare in this country. I don't think women should be encouraged to live their day-to-day lives in fear, preparing for a relatively unlikely crime to occur.

You are right and I agree. I have been mugged and beaten up though walking home before, and I ended up in hospital with a pretty battered face (didn't happen in Ireland). Was terrifying and took me ages to feel ok going anywhere by myself for a while. I'm grand now, but I'm still cautious about walking anywhere on my own, particularly at night. I don't live my life in fear, but I generally prefer to get a cab and if I am walking on my own at night I'm continually checking behind me and I don't walk with earphones in etc.

B0jangles

jaja321 wrote: »

You are right and I agree. I have been mugged and beaten up though walking home before, and I ended up in hospital with a pretty battered face (didn't happen in Ireland). Was terrifying and took me ages to feel ok going anywhere by myself for a while. I'm grand now, but I'm still cautious about walking anywhere on my own, particularly at night. I don't live my life in fear, but I generally prefer to get a cab and if I am walking on my own at night I'm continually checking behind me and I don't walk with earphones in etc.

Very glad to hear you're doing ok after such a horrible experience

As an aside, I get really angry thinking about the kind of people who do these things, not just because of the fact that they are violent thugs, but because they probably forget all about the person they attacked after a few days (if even that) while the victim could spend the rest of their life getting over it, and in the case of a mugging it could be for as little as a few quid and a phone

Contessa Raven

I used to walk home from nights out all the time when I was in college. I live near the quays so I'm right in the city centre. I wouldn't do it anymore though. I never gave too much thought when I was younger about the dangers. I always thought 'Ah sure, it's a 10 minute walk. I'll walk fast.' I'm only small (5ft2in) and I'd be walking up along the Luas line at 3 o'clock in the morning by myself. Young and stupid come to mind.

Now, if I'm walking, I'll either be with my boyfriend or a couple of friends. If I'm alone, I'll get a taxi. Although the last time I got a taxi on a night out (about 3 weeks ago I think) I closed the door and just as I went to grab my seat belt the door flew open and this lad tried to pull me out of the car. He was with 2 of his friends and they all thought it was hilarious. I got such a fright. Luckily I was able to kick him and close the door and lock it but it just goes to show how you need to have your wits about you all the time.

Princess Peach

I used to walk home alone all the time, as often my friends were going in the opposite direction to me after the club. Once or twice a male friend would be a bit concerned and offer to walk to me, but I found often even these same friends would be too lazy on a different night! Close friends, and a few times my brothers, never really minded that I walked home. It was only about 10-15 mintues.

I always walked the main streets home, and they were usually busy enough right after the clubs ended. A few times I may have gone to a house or something, usually then waited for the sun to come up before going home. Not sure that makes sense, but it did in my logic!

Never told my parents this though, they would freak. Always told me they would pick me up anywhere at any time in any state, but I just never worry about it enough that I would wake them at night to pick me up.

I probably will continue to do this, walked home last Saturday night a half hour from a friend's house. Just keep my common sense, stay on well lit roads, have my phone handy in I feel off-ease. What happened to Jill is terrible, but is rare.

LeinsterDub

sillysmiles wrote: »

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

+1 expect it's more like the 0.00001% chance

Roisy7

I used to study in the UL library until 11pm at night and then walk home to Oaklawns, a quietish estate nearby where I lived.

My friends used to freak out but my logic was it was brightly lit, there were people also leaving the library, there were people leaving the arena, there were cars everywhere, I was using the main road.

I've only ever walked home from a night out once, that was at home. Basically the taxi driver's car was full and he had to go to another village and would have been 40 mins. I was sober at that stage and thought, feck it, I'll take a chance. Again, main roads all the way, brightly lit, and I survived.

I would never do that again now tho. There was a very high-profile rape case in my town which actually happened at the bottom of my road and even though I know the guy's in jail, I won't take the chance.

I agree with other posters that we can't live our lives in fear but there is the factor of being sensible too. I always weighed up the pros and cons before I did anything like that, and when it came to Limerick city itself, never walked anywhere on my own at night. I wouldn't advise a man to do it either, in fairness.

Just to the poster who had the nasty experience with the taxi driver, I'm sorry you had such a horrible scare. I would like to add that it is very rare for something like that to happen. There are far more decent taxi-men than the other kind.

solerina

I live under a mile from the pubs/clubs nearby so I have walked home alone many many times over the years and have always said to my self that there will be taxis etc passing by so I will be fine....Im sure that what poor Jill though too....RIP

Angelandie

Funnily enough, I will never let a friend walk home alone ever but I often walk home myself! I live within a 10 minute walk of most clubs and pubs here in the city and always think whats the point in wasting money or waiting twenty mins for a cab when I could be home in that time. Although only when I have my wits about me and I'm very vigilant. If I feel tipsy, then I always grab a cab even though its not that far.

Da Shins Kelly

I pretty much always walk home with someone or alone, if there's no one else. Very rarely pay for taxis. The Jill Meagher story has really spooked me though. You just never think that something like that will happen to you, no one does. That's the kind of thing that happens to other people.

I've never truly felt in any danger though when walking home. I've never been in any situations that have made me anxious. That's not to say it won't ever happen. It can happen to anyone, and if anything seeing the CCTV footage of Jill talking to her killer has really brought that home. Just seeing her there, dressed up for the night, she looks like any normal girl you see out. That could be one of your friends, or even yourself. It has certainly made me think twice about the whole walking home alone thing.

RIP and condolences to her family. The whole thing is just horrific.

sillysmiles

sillysmiles wrote: »

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

+1

EXACTLY. I don't get why people can't see how much they're victim blaming when they say things like 'stay safe, don't walk home alone.' There's also the possibility of being murdered by a taxi driver, followed off a night bus and raped at the bus stop outside your house (happened to someone near where I used to live) or even the friend/friend of a friend who walks you home being the one to attack you.

2rkehij30qtza5

I used to walk home a lot by myself but then one night, while living in Dublin a guy tried to drag me down a lane in the middle of Rathmines. He came out of nowhere. I turned and ran the fastest I could run with him hot on my heels. Luckily I came across a group of 3 guys who saw what was happening and chased him away. SInce then I don't walk anywhere alone.

One of my sisters was almost pulled into a car in broad daylight in Galway a number of years ago and had the wits about her to get the guy's number plate. The Gardaí said he had done it before when they checked him out.

My best friend was chased by a guy in Newcastle, Galway one night while walking home alone. Luckily nothing happened her and she got onto the main road off the shortcut path she was taking just on time.

They are my stories and I guarantee I'm not alone in having near misses. Let Jill Meagher's death be a lesson to us all. DO not walk alone but If you have to, I suggest you take a look at Oprah's clip on Youbtube called 'do not go to the second location'.

RIP Jill Meagher and God Bless her family and husband Tom. Heaven has another angel. So sad.

Da Shins Kelly

I don't see how it's victim blaming to say that someone should mind themselves walking home. Of course it's completely the fault of the perpetrator who committed the crime, girls who get attacked are never to blame. However, we live in a pretty messed up world and I don't think there's anything wrong in reminding people to just be wise and to look after yourself. It's not victim-blaming, it's just accepting the reality that we live in a dangerous world, particularly for young women, and that it's best to be vigilant and take care on a night out.

Honey-ec

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

It's not victim-blaming, it's just accepting the reality that we live in a dangerous world, particularly for young women, and that it's best to be vigilant and take care on a night out.

But that's the thing - statistically speaking it's not that dangerous. Men are far, far more likely to be the victim of a violent assault than women. And women are far more likely to be raped/murdered by someone known to them than the oft-warned-against stranger in the night.

I've no problem with the odd reminder to apply a bit of cop on when comporting yourself at night with a few drinks on board. But exaggerating the danger isn't doing anyone any favours either.

dfx-

kylith wrote: »

My friends and I always text each other to say we got home safe, and if someone doesn't do it by lunchtime the next day then we start calling them or dropping round to the house.

My female work colleagues/friends do this and I am always wondering - aloud - why. Cases like this remind me.

I feel very secure in the city centre at night - very few people bother me, though maybe that's being 6'4 and male, but as mentioned above, that's not necessarily any help. I find the time to walk in north inner city Dublin is later the better. I forget not everyone is familiar and has alternative routes or 'escape' routes.

I should be more safety conscious the more I think of it..

Da Shins Kelly

Honey-ec wrote: »

But that's the thing - statistically speaking it's not that dangerous. Men are far, far more likely to be the victim of a violent assault than women. And women are far more likely to be raped/murdered by someone known to them than the oft-warned-against stranger in the night.

I've no problem with the odd reminder to apply a bit of cop on when comporting yourself at night with a few drinks on board. But exaggerating the danger isn't doing anyone any favours either.

That said, I think it's pretty irresponsible to be all, 'Oh sure, it's fine! You'll be grand, you've nothing to fear! Don't be afraid to walk home alone!'

_petulia_

brainyneuron wrote: »

With the horrific story of Jill Meaghar in the news at the moment, its brought personal safety at night back into the limelight. She was only metres from her home and refused both an offer of a taxi and an offer of a friend to walk her home. 'I'll be fine' or 'I'm only up the road' are what she probably thought.

Many people think the same every night in every town around Ireland and the world, 99% of the time nothing happens, they get home safe and sound. But its that 1% that can change your life or your family's lives forever. Risking your life walking home alone is never worth the money saved by not taking a taxi or taking up your friends time by accepting their offer to accompany you home. Stay safe!

I'm not trying to be sanctimonious or anything. I'm not perfect, I have done it once after being out in town, walked out to the edge of town on my own to get a taxi easier. I knew it wasn't safe and I did it anyway.

So I guess I'll throw the question out to you guys. Have you ever walked home alone?

I will start this by saying I think what happened to Jill Meagher is tragic and I believe every woman everywhere should be able to walk home alone at night without fear of attack.

But I can't say I've ever walked home alone at night, I've heard far too many stories to ever take the risk.

fits

I dont think blanket rules ever apply. The key is to exercise good judgement at all times. I currently live in an urban area and I walk or cycle home late at night and will continue to, because I believe it is safe to do so.

I am truly saddened and touched by what happened to Jill Meagher. It is absolutely devastating. But, while I hope it makes people more aware of their saftety, that they dont overreact. I think you're far more likely to die in a car accident in a taxi on the way home than you are to meet the same fate Jill did if you walk. But. like I said, there are some places I'll walk and some places I wont. And our perception of risk is often a little off.

Some years ago I lived in the country and used to regularly walk my dogs at night time with no torch (not anywhere I would meet a car). A friend of mine asked me once, if I wasnt afraid of being attacked. I told her that she was far more likely to be attacked walking to work in pearse st.

Gauss

Jazlynn Ancient Scab wrote: »

sillysmiles wrote: »

I think that isn't healthy as an individual or a society to live in a state of fear and constantly thinking the worst for that 0.1% chance that something might happen.

I also think that focusing on the fact that she was walking home alone is almost like there is an insinuation that she did something wrong - the fault lies solely with the attacker.

+1

EXACTLY. I don't get why people can't see how much they're victim blaming when they say things like 'stay safe, don't walk home alone.' There's also the possibility of being murdered by a taxi driver, followed off a night bus and raped at the bus stop outside your house (happened to someone near where I used to live) or even the friend/friend of a friend who walks you home being the one to attack you.

You've been brainwashed by this whole "victim blaming" thing.

It's not blaming, it's trying to look out for an individual's personal safety.

eviltwin

When I was 18/19 and coming home from clubs I would always get a nitelink back to my village and walk the 5 mins through my estate back to my house. I never felt scared, I was alert and watchful but I never felt afraid. I always carried a pair of flats that I changed into on the bus and I never drank so much I was unsteady. I thought I was taking precautions but really had I been unlucky enough to meet a guy or a group of guys I was going to be totally powerless to stop them.

Now that I am older I would never do that again, I'm horrified that I ever did. I still don't feel afraid but you have to be sensible and not do anything that makes you a target for someone who might want to rape/kill you or just steal your handbag. I don't think its victim blaming, just common sense and I would always encourage men to take the same precautions I would.

Eve_Dublin

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

That said, I think it's pretty irresponsible to be all, 'Oh sure, it's fine! You'll be grand, you've nothing to fear! Don't be afraid to walk home alone!'

I don't think Honey-ec said that though, she simply said exaggerating the real chances of anything happening is counterproductive. She acknowledged you have to have your wits about you though.

Ickle Magoo

Gauss wrote: »

You've been brainwashed by this whole "victim blaming" thing.

I don't think that's necessarily true, tbh.

Gauss wrote: »

It's not blaming, it's trying to look out for an individual's personal safety.

Except it doesn't - it just gives a false impression that by using taxis and not walking in the dark alone the world is much safer and if only women play by these "rules" victims can magically avoid becoming victims - which equates to those who didn't play by those rules influencing their own victim-hood.

Of course, it's all a load of hogwash anyway...certain behaviours reduce the likelihood of being the victim of one rare and random violent crime and changes it to another while ignoring the circumstances under which the majority of violent crime goes on.

Eve_Dublin

I've never taken taxis on a regular basis, mainly because I couldn't and can't afford them and actually, I've had a few creepy experiences getting taxis home - one groped my leg while we were driving home and one followed me to my front door and asked to come in. It didn't turn me off getting them as I think I was just unlucky but it did put pay to the idea that it was the safer option for me.

I feel very safe in this city walking home as people usually stay out so late, the streets are always busy.

AnnyHallsal

I walked home at half two the other night, about forty minutes through the city and suburbs. However, I would try to avoid it and usually get a taxi because I had a bad experience a number of years ago. There was a guy walking behind me on the opposite side of the road. I crossed roads a few times and he was still behind me. He caught up, got very close and I said I'd prefer if he didn't talk to me. He pushed me against a door, put his hand up my skirt and said "If I wanted to hurt you I would have by now, ya stupid b**ch." I banged on that door and shouted and he ran up a road across the way. No-one responded so I took off my heels and ran home as fast as I could. It was a minor incident but the grope and aggression frightened the sh*t out of me. Yeah, incidents are statistically unlikely but it's still a risk.

Eve_Dublin

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I walked home at half two the other night, about forty minutes through the city and suburbs. However, I would try to avoid it and usually get a taxi because I had a bad experience a number of years ago. There was a guy walking behind me on the opposite side of the road. I crossed roads a few times and he was still behind me. He caught up, got very close and I said I'd prefer if he didn't talk to me. He pushed me against a door, put his hand up my skirt and said "If I wanted to hurt you I would have by now, ya stupid b**ch." I banged on that door and shouted and he ran up a road across the way. No-one responded so I took off my heels and ran home as fast as I could. It was a minor incident but the grope and aggression frightened the sh*t out of me. Yeah, incidents are statistically unlikely but it's still a risk.

Jaysus. Sorry that happened to you.

macross

What happened to Jill Meagher was an absolute tragedy! It brings back feelings I had around the time of the Michaela Harte murder- you know, 'the wrong place at the wrong time' and gets you thinking of the circumstances that led to her, unfortunately, meeting her attacker at that precise time -'if only' she'd taken the lift, if only she'd had one more/less drink, if only it had taken her longer to say her goodbyes/less time, if only she'd been feeling sick that day, they'd chosen a different pub etc etc.

That said it is impossible to stay completely safe 100% of the time! I agree with previous posters who said that 99.99% of the time you'll get from A to B hassle free but I see no problem with people becoming a little more safety conscious! Unfortunately there continue to be men like him wandering around towns and cities in our country and although you might manage to evade them someone else may not be as lucky- blaming any victim of such attacks is not on- some of these men, including Jill Meagher's attacker- are very opportunistic. Some of them attack in daytime, some in busy areas etc. and we can't hide ourselves away 24 hours a day.

Personal experience last night: get a taxi on my own at a cost of €30 or a nightlink bus for €5 with a 5 minute walk at the end? Went with the bus and walked very briskly from the stop home while chatting on the phone with my OH until I was safely in the door!

Ickle Magoo

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't think that's necessarily true, tbh.



Except it doesn't - it just gives a false impression that by using taxis and not walking in the dark alone the world is much safer and if only women play by these "rules" victims can magically avoid becoming victims - which equates to those who didn't play by those rules influencing their own victim-hood.

Of course, it's all a load of hogwash anyway...certain behaviours reduce the likelihood of being the victim of one rare and random violent crime and changes it to another while ignoring the circumstances under which the majority of violent crime goes on.

Exactly. It's human nature to think, 'oh that happened to her because she did X, so I won't do X and that means I'll be OK.' Everyone does it to some extent. It's human nature to try to feel safe and convince yourself you're in control, so by creating 'rules' to follow, you'll be fine. The problem is that it's largely bullsh*t.

I think some people don't get that 'victim blaming' isn't just saying things like 'she deserved it because she was wearing a miniskirt' - it's also taking a situation like this and saying 'don't walk home alone - she did it and look what happened to her' as if it's really that simple. It's not about personal safety - there's nothing wrong with giving advice like don't wear earphones, try not to walk in secluded areas if possible. That's common sense. But after a tragedy like this, you get the kneejerk reactions from so many people. 'WALKING HOME ALONE IS SO DANGEROUS! YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT!' This completely ignores the fact that being a lone woman puts you at risk in most situations. It's a small risk, but it's always there. You could be attacked by the taxi driver. You could be attacked on the train. You could be attacked by someone waiting for you in the lobby of your apartment building who forces his way into your flat. These things have all happened.

The sensible reaction is to use common sense and be aware of your surroundings as much as possible - everything else is pretty much down to chance unless you're happy to wrap yourself up in cotton wool and not live your life. Following 'rules' based on the latest incident in the news is just ridiculous.