Walking home alone at night

FrogMarch

B0jangles wrote: »

Do you guys really not grasp the major fact that has been stated and restated so many times in this thread?

We (women) THINK ABOUT THIS SHÍT ALL THE TIME. WE HAVE DONE SINCE WE WERE GIRLS.

Are you serious? So you think about the possibility of being raped all the time? Assuming you've never actually been raped, you still obsess over the possibility of being raped and see the world, and men in particular, as being dangerous and threatening? Despite not actually being a victim, you see yourself as being one nonetheless?

That is called being a self-defined victim. There's a lot of it going on in this thread. It's an exceptionally dangerous character trait. I've known a few people like this in my past, been abused by a couple in interpersonal relationships. Not pleasant.

Ladies - take precautions. There are dangerous people out there. Of that there is no doubt. Although viewing this as an issue that all men need to take into consideration lest they be rapists or predators themselves is, quite frankly, insulting and offensive. Never mind the suggestion of a previous poster who thinks all men should be targeted by campaigns to tell them not to be rapists. My god.

If you're not a victim but you act like one, there's a good chance that you yourself are an abuser. This is a fact. Ask any psychologist.

B0jangles

FrogMarch wrote: »

Are you serious? So you think about the possibility of being raped all the time? Assuming you've never actually been raped, you still obsess over the possibility of being raped and see the world, and men in particular, as being dangerous and threatening? Despite not actually being a victim, you see yourself as being one nonetheless?

That is called being a self-defined victim. There's a lot of it going on in this thread. It's an exceptionally dangerous character trait. I've known a few people like this in my past, been abused by a couple in interpersonal relationships. Not pleasant.

Ladies - take precautions. There are dangerous people out there. Of that there is no doubt. Although viewing this as an issue that all men need to take into consideration lest they be rapists or predators themselves is, quite frankly, insulting and offensive. Never mind the suggestion of a previous poster who thinks all men should be targeted by campaigns to tell them not to be rapists. My god.

If you're not a victim but you act like one, there's a good chance that you yourself are an abuser. This is a fact. Ask any psychologist.

Ok can you maybe go and shíte?

I've been sexually assaulted twice in my life. At one point a conversation came up with 2 of my (female) work colleagues and it transpired that both of them had been raped in the past. We did not meet in a support group, we were just three women who happened to work in the same company who got talking about sexual assault/rape ( as a result of one of us being date-raped by a colleague)

Sexual assault on women is commonplace.
Rape is commonplace.
Claiming otherwise and that we are just paranoid man-haters is ignoring the collected evidence that a very large proportion of women have been sexually assaulted or raped in their lifetime.

So forgive me weeping for the poor poor men who are targeted by ad campaigns asking them not to sexually assault or rape women.

I feel for you bud, I really really do.

FrogMarch

B0jangles wrote: »

Ok can you maybe go and shíte?

I've been sexually assaulted twice in my life. At one point a conversation came up with 2 of my (female) work colleagues and it transpired that both of them had been raped in the past. We did not meet in a support group, we were just three women who happened to work in the same company who got talking about sexual assault/rape ( as a result of one of us being date-raped by a colleague)

Sexual assault on women is commonplace.
Rape is commonplace.
Claiming otherwise and that we are just paranoid man-haters is ignoring the collected evidence that a very large proportion of women have been sexually assaulted or raped in their lifetime.

So forgive me weeping for the poor poor men who are targeted by ad campaigns asking them not to sexually assault or rape women.

I feel for you bud, I really really do.

The vast majority of men are not rapists. I don't like being labeled one. I'm very sorry for your troubles but unfortunately crime is the responsibility of criminals. Not all men.

LeeHoffmann

Nobody labelled you a rapist. Dear God :rolleyes:

B0jangles

FrogMarch wrote: »

The vast majority of men are not rapists. I don't like being labeled one. I'm very sorry for your troubles but unfortunately crime is the responsibility of criminals. Not all men.

How would you react if a friend of yours said he'd shagged a hot girl he worked with after a boozy night out?

That's how my friend was raped. She had a few too many, he (sober) offered to see her home to her door in a taxi. She woke up naked in his bed.

That's rape. Its not always knives and dark alleyways.

FrogMarch

B0jangles wrote: »

How would you react if a friend of yours said he'd shagged a hot girl he worked with after a boozy night out?

Well for a start I'd assume it was consensual. As in most cases of one night stands, no? Rape wouldn't be the first thing that came into my head. Why would it?

B0jangles wrote: »

That's how my friend was raped. She had a few too many, he (sober) offered to see her home to her door in a taxi. She woke up naked in his bed.

Not knowing, in any way whatsoever, what happened... I can't really offer any opinion on this. Perhaps you'd like to elaborate?

B0jangles wrote: »

That's rape. Its not always knives and dark alleyways.

A woman waking up with a bad hangover, regretting sleeping with a guy because she had too much to drink the night before isn't always rape I'm afraid. Sometimes it's just an error of judgement. Then again, it depends on the circumstances obviously.

B0jangles

FrogMarch wrote: »

Well for a start I'd assume it was consensual. As in most cases of one night stands, no? Rape wouldn't be the first thing that came into my head. Why would it?



Not knowing, in any way whatsoever, what happened... I can't really offer any opinion on this. Perhaps you'd like to elaborate?



A woman waking up with a bad hangover, regretting sleeping with a guy because she had too much to drink the night before isn't always rape I'm afraid. Sometimes it's just an error of judgement. Then again, it depends on the circumstances obviously.

Congrats, you just sided with a rapist. My friend had no reason to lie, she was just sharing her horror and pain with her friends. The police were never involved so the rapist in question got off scott free. He's probably doing the same thing to women whereever it is he ended up.

FrogMarch

B0jangles wrote: »

Congrats, you just sided with a rapist.

Em, no I didn't. I asked what happened. If your friend passed out and the guy took advantage of her, then she was raped. If she willfully and lucidly had sex with the guy, albeit under the influence, then she wasn't raped. Without knowing the circumstances, I can't really comment. Which is why I asked you to elaborate.

B0jangles wrote: »

My friend had no reason to lie, she was just sharing her horror and pain with her friends.

I don't know your friend so whether she would lie about something like this or not, I have absolutely no idea.

B0jangles

FrogMarch wrote: »

Em, no I didn't. I asked what happened. If your friend passed out and the guy took advantage of her, then she was raped. If she willfully and lucidly had sex with the guy, albeit under the influence, then she wasn't raped. Without knowing the circumstances, I can't really comment. Which is why I asked you to elaborate.



I don't know your friend so whether she would lie about something like this or not, I have absolutely no idea.

I gave the circumstances, I don't know how much clearer I can be - girl is drunk, we ordered her a taxi home. Guy is sober, offers to see her safe to her door. Girl wakes up naked in his bed with no knowledge of how she got there, is seriously traumatised by this experience.

FrogMarch

B0jangles wrote: »

I gave the circumstances, I don't know how much clearer I can be - girl is drunk, we ordered her a taxi home. Guy is sober, offers to see her safe to her door. Girl wakes up naked in his bed with no knowledge of how she got there, is seriously traumatised by this experience.

Okay. What happened between the time she got to her door and his bed? Did he hit her over the head and bring her back to his place? What are the circumstances is all I'm asking? I'm confused.

Lucyfur

Folks, I'm locking this as it's going round in circles and it is beginning to stray off topic.

It may be opened again pending mod discussion.