What's your best piece of (romantic) relationship advice?

seenitall

The same thing that is my life motto in general:

"Take what you want, and pay for it."

(An ancient proverb, googling yields no definite results as to origin.)

Giselle

When he asks what's wrong, don't say 'nothing' when its bloody obvious you're on the verge of a breakdown/outburst/jihad.

If they think farting is funny and you don't, its not going to last.

If he says he's only going to break your heart, don't say you haven't been warned.

baby and crumble

Love them. All of them, even the bits that drive you mental. If they were different you probably wouldn't love them as much.

Have your own life. And don't be afraid to say "I need time on my own this evebing" or whatever it may be- and don't take it personally if they say this to you.

Find something you genuinely enjoy doing together. Don't expect them to want to enjoy the things you do, but try and find something you can do together. Likewise, let the other person retain their hobbies from before you got together. You like shopping at the weekend, they hate it. They like their Xbox nights, you think it's the must pointless thing ever. Why would you force someone you love to either give up something they enjoy, or to do something they really don't enjoy? Time spent together needs to be enjoyable for both parties, or the thing is doomed.

Don't assume because you're invited somewhere that your other half is too. Don't be THAT couple.

Go on dates. If you have kids, have your dates at home after their in bed. It's vital.

ENJOY IT! Someone loves you, how awesome is that?

Lia_lia

Don't have relationships.

ilovesleep

Be wary of those who is too full on, too fast, and too quick - run fast away and never look back. I mean if he/she is declaring his/her love for you after a few weeks of meeting, come on, they hardly know you and they want to marry you almost.
(you will get your heart broken and your head melted).

ilovesleep

Listen to your gut instinct. Don't ignore it and make excuses. It is usually always right.

Princess Peach

Don't let a single day go by without making each other smile

Ilyana

Princess Peach wrote: »

Don't let a single day go by without making each other smile

This.

My ex and I often argued, but one thing that always stayed the same was our inability to be angry with one another for long. Eventually someone would crack a joke or do something to make the other smile.

So yeah, learn when it's worth standing your ground, and when to shut up and move past it.

whiskeyman

Make the effort.
It's so easy to be lazy.
Even if it's to get up a few mins earlier to get a cuppa tea made for herself on a cold morning, some things are really appreciated and show care and affection.
Sure, the big presents and surprises always have a 'wow' factor, but there's many a little things that can mean so much.

Mrs Garth Brooks

Forget men and get a cat.

They are loyal, love snuggling up to you, listen to you, their meow is never a lie and a fancy cat dinner is 24 cent in aldi.

Yeah, i'm going to end up the crazy cat lady.

cdaly_

Wrap your arms around each other every morning...

Stheno

Enjoy the small things

Enjoy taking his nasty cowboy boots to be reheeled and having a 30 minute conversation with a cowboy boot lover about where to get him the best ever pair, while he is picking up your prescription 50 miles away.

Enjoy the small joy you bring him distracting him when he is stressed

Enjoy those unexpected texts during the day

Love when you get a call out of the blue.

Be prepared for the bad days they suffer due to moods, personal issues or whatever.

Enjoy those rare and unexpected moments when you get a small demonstration or expression of love

Above all, accept them for who they are, they will never ever change, learn to love those weird things.

/Apologies for anyone in a her/her relationship for my first couple of points I should have been less him/her focussed.

racso1975

Survive

OakeyDokey

Focusing on past mistakes can break you if you don't sort it. Throwing it in the persons face every time an argument happens is not healthy and if you can't move past then you can't expect to progress.

SarahBeep!

At the end of the day, it's called a break up because its broken

Sarah**

Listen to all that is being said but more importantly to what is being left unsaid...

IvyTheTerrible

SarahBeep! wrote: »

At the end of the day, it's called a break up because its broken

There's a German saying about relationships: You cannot reheat old soup! Very true!

Sleepy

If you're not having good, regular sex, you're just friends.

NeonCookies

I second the never go to sleep on a fight advice. My aunt said this to me the last time I saw her before I left home to move to Japan with my boyfriend. Her and her husband have been together for so long, and they always seem really happy and in love, so it must work.

I wish I could say we always follow the advice. We usually do, but there's been once or twice we haven't and I always feel so much worse the next day (because we're still fighting AND I've had an awful night's sleep!)

Thumby

Don't love your partner DESPITE their faults, love him/her BECAUSE of them. They are who they are and if you can't love all of them, then you don't love them at all.
It's about accepting who your oh is the good and the bad and loving them for it anyway.

syklops

Thumby wrote: »

Don't love your partner DESPITE their faults, love him/her BECAUSE of them.

Easier said than done.

They are who they are and if you can't love all of them, then you don't love them at all.

Rubbish.

Das Kitty

Sleepy wrote: »

If you're not having good, regular sex, you're just friends.

I can't agree with this. I was ill for years and sex was off the table mostly. But it never felt less than from an emotional standpoint. Obviously it's much better now that I'm better, but the connection was the same. I've never had a connection like it with a platonic friend.

I also disagree that you have to love everything about the other person. There are certainly things that annoy me about my husband, but I approach it with a view to being understanding and accepting rather than being contrary. He's the same with me.

My advice is to talk about how you feel. I know I'm personally prone to getting annoyed over something trivial and not saying anything. It sorta festers. So my policy is to tell him when there's something I'm not happy about. It usually starts with the words "I felt/feel..." It's non confrontational and frank and it makes us both feel better, stops the moss growing.

Sleepy

Ah, I think you know what I mean Das Kitty. Would I be right in saying that whilst sex may have been off the table, the rest of the physical intimacy that's a normal part of a healthy relationship (cuddles, non-platonic kisses etc) wouldn't have been whilst you were ill? Speaking purely for myself: an absence of sex due to illness (i.e. where other intimacy exists and there's the prospect of normal (whatever that was for the relationship) sexual relations resuming when my partner was better is a far more manageable situation than one where a partner simply doesn't want sex any more...

Das Kitty

Sleepy wrote: »

Ah, I think you know what I mean Das Kitty. Would I be right in saying that whilst sex may have been off the table, the rest of the physical intimacy that's a normal part of a healthy relationship (cuddles, non-platonic kisses etc) wouldn't have been whilst you were ill? Speaking purely for myself: an absence of sex due to illness (i.e. where other intimacy exists and there's the prospect of normal (whatever that was for the relationship) sexual relations resuming when my partner was better is a far more manageable situation than one where a partner simply doesn't want sex any more...

Ah yeah, if you don't fancy each other you need to take a look at it. It's normally fairly far down the road of communication breakdown if you get to that stage though (assuming a long term relationship).

It used to bother me when I was sick though, to see that said. I'd feel guilty for the failings of my body even though rationally I knew it didn't mean that we were doomed, I still worried. Then again I'm a depressive so any opportunity to criticise myself really!

seenitall

Remembered another one, I heard it long ago somewhere and it spoke to me; it could be a bit controversial though, what with neediness being a dirty word and all.

"Neediness is a thrill when one's needs are being fulfilled."

Eve_Dublin

Thanks for all this good advice, people.


Mine would simply be "respect each other". Once the respect is gone, it's over.

Hardonraging

When you look into her eyes you should know what she's thinking, if you don't, you need to listen more attentively ..

yogalady

never forget who you are.

even if you are with a wonderful person never forget that the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life is with your self. This will carry you through all the tough times

CathyMoran

If you can always talk to him and he makes you laugh then you are off to a good start (from my late mother).

It worked for me.

flowerchild

Choose well.

Be yourself.

Understand their needs and seek to make them happy.

Be happy yourself.

See the joy in the everyday small stuff, like cuddles before get up and sweet texts during the day.