What's your best piece of (romantic) relationship advice?

Ellsbells

I definitely think mine is not to run after someone who has finished with you. From my experience, it never ends well.

What have you learned good and bad about relationships?

keng66

Stay away from women with big hands- they make your dick look small

Rosy Posy

You can't change people- either accept them as they are or move on.

Just because you win every argument doesn't mean you're always right, or that you've changed their mind.

syklops

Try and find one hobby you can do together that you both enjoy.

jaja321

Pick your battles and learn to let the other stuff go.

xDramaxQueenx

Dont get attached.

eviltwin

Fight for a relationship worth keeping but always know the point its better to walk away

Never compromise yourself or your values for your partner, always seek advice from people you trust and remember there is no such thing as the "perfect" partner or relationship

Wibbs

keng66 if you want to post in this forum please read the charter and get a feel of the place before hitting "submit reply". FYI your last post is NOT of the standard expected around here. Thank you.

Princess Peach

Don't have a "type". Just cause a guy isn't your ideal type or what you normally go for doesn't mean it can't be amazing.

The Big Red Button

Don't hold grudges. Life is simply too short for that!!

Chazz Michael Michaels

If your friends advise you to avoid someone, there is probably a good reason why. Trust their judgement, they don't have rose-tinted glasses on.

leonidas83

If your gonna bang someone outside of the relationship make sure ya wrap up big time

deelite

Remember there is a reason why they are your EX - don't just remember the good things....

krudler

Time apart can be as important as time together. don't stop going out with friends or doing stuff just because you're in a relationship.

Go on dates, just because you're in a relationship spending time together shouldn't equate to just being slouched on the couch watching tv every night. Go for drinks, days out, hell even a drive to nowhere for a chat, time together and quality time together are two different things. Be spontaneous and remember that being with someone is meant to be fun.

Honey-ec

Never go to sleep on a fight.

Jerrica

Love your own company. If you can't do that how can anyone else?

cantdecide

Don't get lazy.

cassiedoll

i know this might sound corny, but my bf isnt big on the slow dancing, will act the eejit dancing when he's drunk so when we are at home, i move the table out of the way and we dance to one of our songs. I can tell he thinks its cheesy but he does it for me.

To me, it's the little things that i find romance in, coming home in freezing cold after a day in work and ur pj's are on the rad and ur dinner is ready.

So i don't think it has to be an amazing, out of this world gesture.

byronbay2

The best piece of advice I ever received about marriage is the following:
"Men marry women hoping that they won't change but they do.
Women marry men hoping that they will change but they don't."
This doesn't mean that I am bitter and cynical about relationships (quite the contrary) but people need to enter them with their eyes open. Ladies, if you think you can turn your man into your idea of the perfect partner you are mistaken - either he is that way naturally or it will never happen!

gara

Communication is key -talk honestly and listen carefully

miamee

Not my own personal advice but this letter from Noel Coward to Marlene Dietrich is full of relationship advice that I would definitely give the thumbs up to!

From the Letters of Note website.

Bubblefett

My favourte piece of advice came from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières.

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love" which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

ArtyC

Dont bitch about your partner to other people- majority of the time it's nothing but a tiff but you're friends will only think the worst of your other half- because sure that's all they know from you- causes heartache in the long run when you want to hang with your friends and your partner

Ilyana

Always defend your partner if someone speaks ill of them, but don't dismiss a friend's concern either.

Don't compromise your own hobbies and interests. It'll lead to loneliness when he's not there, and resentfulness when he wants to do things without you.

And +1 on Bubblefett's post.

Neyite

Honey-ec wrote: »

Never go to sleep on a fight.

I agree with this, but would add the caveat: sometimes it may suit better to park an issue and revisit it when emotions are less heated - i dont mean to ignore each other and go to bed angry, but to agree to put it aside and talk about it when the dust has settled.

It works with me very much because I sometimes need to calm down and regroup my thoughts, and once I have slept on an issue, it usually is never as bad as I initially imagined, and I may have came to a compromise or solution.

My relationship advise snippets:

*Never demand as a right what you can ask as a favour*
Assumptions and implied behaviour are the death of a relationship. No point in getting thick over him not taking the bins out if he never knew you assume it to be his job in the first place. Asking someone to do something is respectful and you should never be disrespectful to the person you love the most.

*the best revenge is your own happiness*
If someone has broken your heart, or treated you badly, the best way you can get your own back at them is to be truly happy. Nothing better than bumping into the ex when you love your life despite their best efforts.

*The best relationship is the one you would walk away from if you had to*
This is one I think I heard here on Boards. This is about self respect. If you respect yourself to walk away when someone, no matter how much you adore them, does something unforgivable then you will be treated with respect. Its a healthier relationship.

*Forever does not exist, relationships are on loan*
Even successful couples reach a time in their life where they part ways. It may be after 60 years of bliss and one dies, it might be after a year or a few years and you move onto other relationships. Point is always remember its a loan for a while.

IvyTheTerrible

Don't assume your partner is psychic and sit there seething when he or she doesn't realise what you are annoyed about or want them to do.

Communication is the most important thing, IMO.

LeeHoffmann

Only be with somebody who treats you with love and respect, and who makes your life better.

Never take your partner for granted.

When you fight, fight fair. Always try to see things from your partner´s perspective, and always try to see the best in them.

sam34

do not put up with a partner who is jealous, possessive and tries to isolate you from your friends/family. they will not change, no matter how often they promise they will

NegativeCreep

I would say, don't say "I love you" too quickly. People feel like they have to say it for some reason. I've had it said to me a few times a few weeks into a relationship and it kills things if you don't feel the same way.
Also, don't feel obliged to text them constantly. It's suffocating and scares me off

sambuka41

If you are having problems don't sit with everyone of your friends looking for their opinions, TALK to your partner. I still (in my 30's) have friends who try to dissect their partners behaviour "what do you think he mean't when he said this" or "he didn't call for 2 days, what do you think that means" That is DEATH to a relationship, pointless self doubting.

Like others have said involving friends in your relationship woes is not fair, it usually is the friend who suffers when all is said and done.

Novella

If you're with somebody and you think they're treating you in a way you don't deserve, you are probably right. It's okay to stand up for yourself and walk away.

seenitall

The same thing that is my life motto in general:

"Take what you want, and pay for it."

(An ancient proverb, googling yields no definite results as to origin.)

Giselle

When he asks what's wrong, don't say 'nothing' when its bloody obvious you're on the verge of a breakdown/outburst/jihad.

If they think farting is funny and you don't, its not going to last.

If he says he's only going to break your heart, don't say you haven't been warned.

baby and crumble

Love them. All of them, even the bits that drive you mental. If they were different you probably wouldn't love them as much.

Have your own life. And don't be afraid to say "I need time on my own this evebing" or whatever it may be- and don't take it personally if they say this to you.

Find something you genuinely enjoy doing together. Don't expect them to want to enjoy the things you do, but try and find something you can do together. Likewise, let the other person retain their hobbies from before you got together. You like shopping at the weekend, they hate it. They like their Xbox nights, you think it's the must pointless thing ever. Why would you force someone you love to either give up something they enjoy, or to do something they really don't enjoy? Time spent together needs to be enjoyable for both parties, or the thing is doomed.

Don't assume because you're invited somewhere that your other half is too. Don't be THAT couple.

Go on dates. If you have kids, have your dates at home after their in bed. It's vital.

ENJOY IT! Someone loves you, how awesome is that?

Don't have relationships.

ilovesleep

Be wary of those who is too full on, too fast, and too quick - run fast away and never look back. I mean if he/she is declaring his/her love for you after a few weeks of meeting, come on, they hardly know you and they want to marry you almost.
(you will get your heart broken and your head melted).

ilovesleep

Listen to your gut instinct. Don't ignore it and make excuses. It is usually always right.

Princess Peach

Don't let a single day go by without making each other smile

Ilyana

Princess Peach wrote: »

Don't let a single day go by without making each other smile

This.

My ex and I often argued, but one thing that always stayed the same was our inability to be angry with one another for long. Eventually someone would crack a joke or do something to make the other smile.

So yeah, learn when it's worth standing your ground, and when to shut up and move past it.

whiskeyman

Make the effort.
It's so easy to be lazy.
Even if it's to get up a few mins earlier to get a cuppa tea made for herself on a cold morning, some things are really appreciated and show care and affection.
Sure, the big presents and surprises always have a 'wow' factor, but there's many a little things that can mean so much.

Mrs Garth Brooks

Forget men and get a cat.

They are loyal, love snuggling up to you, listen to you, their meow is never a lie and a fancy cat dinner is 24 cent in aldi.

Yeah, i'm going to end up the crazy cat lady.

cdaly_

Wrap your arms around each other every morning...

Stheno

Enjoy the small things

Enjoy taking his nasty cowboy boots to be reheeled and having a 30 minute conversation with a cowboy boot lover about where to get him the best ever pair, while he is picking up your prescription 50 miles away.

Enjoy the small joy you bring him distracting him when he is stressed

Enjoy those unexpected texts during the day

Love when you get a call out of the blue.

Be prepared for the bad days they suffer due to moods, personal issues or whatever.

Enjoy those rare and unexpected moments when you get a small demonstration or expression of love

Above all, accept them for who they are, they will never ever change, learn to love those weird things.

/Apologies for anyone in a her/her relationship for my first couple of points I should have been less him/her focussed.

racso1975

Survive

OakeyDokey

Focusing on past mistakes can break you if you don't sort it. Throwing it in the persons face every time an argument happens is not healthy and if you can't move past then you can't expect to progress.

SarahBeep!

At the end of the day, it's called a break up because its broken

Sarah**

Listen to all that is being said but more importantly to what is being left unsaid...

IvyTheTerrible

SarahBeep! wrote: »

At the end of the day, it's called a break up because its broken

There's a German saying about relationships: You cannot reheat old soup! Very true!

Sleepy

If you're not having good, regular sex, you're just friends.

NeonCookies

I second the never go to sleep on a fight advice. My aunt said this to me the last time I saw her before I left home to move to Japan with my boyfriend. Her and her husband have been together for so long, and they always seem really happy and in love, so it must work.

I wish I could say we always follow the advice. We usually do, but there's been once or twice we haven't and I always feel so much worse the next day (because we're still fighting AND I've had an awful night's sleep!)

Thumby

Don't love your partner DESPITE their faults, love him/her BECAUSE of them. They are who they are and if you can't love all of them, then you don't love them at all.
It's about accepting who your oh is the good and the bad and loving them for it anyway.