The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

miec

All depends on your age, location, etc. I guess that being early 20s (I'm 23), living in Dublin, I have a huge amount of men who would message me on that basis alone.

Oops I should have caveated my statement so. In my experience if one lives outside of Dublin, is over 40 with a kid, the replies are much, much fewer and if they are bat ugly that doesn't help either (I'm off to hide in my cave).

I respond to profiles based on two things; looks and personality. Yet what I find attractive may differ from other women, for instance I hate football shirts and if I see them I tend not to e-mail the man in most instances. I don't mind a man that is overweight but if he is obese, again I wouldn't e-mail him or if he looks scary looking (popping out eyes, tight mouth - that kind of thing), again I wouldn't.

I agree that we all judge on looks but photos can be deceptive, some people are not photogenic and in real life are much better looking (I have met a couple of men who's photos weren't great but felt that serious phwoar feeling when I met them and luckily they developed into relationships), I have also met men who photograph well and in real life I have felt no attraction but the biggest deciding factor for me is the profile. If a man looks gorgeous but has nothing on his profile I won't e-mail him because I don't know what to say. If a man has no photo but a really funny profile who can write well and has something quirky on it I message him there and then.

Piliger

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

I am sure you're right. All I would say is that as we get older we tend to be less dependent on how a lady looks. I am not saying I would go meet someone I find UNattractive .. but I would include a much wider range of 'looks' and then hope for a personality match.

Daveysil15

miec wrote: »

I respond to profiles based on two things; looks and personality.

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

Piliger

POF.

How can you retrieve content of a "chat" with someone when they are offline ? Is the chat content lost ?

Piliger

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

Agree. I don't believe we can judge a personality. All we can do is spot obvious road blocks. Someone who appears really boring. Someone who's SOH is different than ours. Someone who makes us feel uncomfortable. Or someone who seems to really click. They are all just 'indicators' imho. Most people don't trigger any of these and can only really be assessed in person.

pablomakaveli

So after i gave up on POF i decided to try a site called UniformDating. I did have to pay for a month but ive had a lot more luck with this site. Im currently messaging two nice girls and would like to meet up with them but im a bit worried about how i will decide between them if things go well.

Anyone faced this kind of situation before?

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

You can't properly but I've seen profiles where the man in question seems demanding/boring/odd etc. This may not be the case but sometimes you can't help but be totally put off.

Piliger

pablomakaveli wrote: »

So after i gave up on POF i decided to try a site called UniformDating. I did have to pay for a month but ive had a lot more luck with this site. Im currently messaging two nice girls and would like to meet up with them but im a bit worried about how i will decide between them if things go well.

Anyone faced this kind of situation before?

Yes ... it's called jumping fences before you get to them:D Just let things happen, let things unfold. The encounters with each girl will make the decision for you so there is nothing to worry about in advance.

seachto7

Anyone ever try Guardian Soulmates? Seems very sparse for Irish people though.....

Zhora

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

Mental Mickey

Zhora wrote: »

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

I'm the same(except I'm a bloke). I got one message ages ago from someone that just said "Hi". I messaged her back, but never heard from her again???

CastorTroy

Mental Mickey wrote: »

I'm the same(except I'm a bloke). I got one message ages ago from someone that just said "Hi". I messaged her back, but never heard from her again???

Wait! We're meant to be able to receive messages? My message receiving thingy must be broke then. :pac:

cantdecide

Zhora wrote: »

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

That sounds surprising alright. What site(s) are you on? Are your settings such that you are precluded from a majority of guys searches?

Zhora

I'm on POF and I don't think my settings exclude me from searches..... Oh and when I have messages guys I think seem interesting I don't get a response!

Galvasean

Been a long time since I got a mail. In days gone by I'd just leave myself logged in for a while and wait for messages to come to me (the snapping turtle technique I believe we called it). That definitely doesn't work anymore. Heck, neither does the pro-active approach. I've gone from being fairly successful in terms of organising dates/getting replies etc. to my mailbox being a total ghost-town. The thing is though, I really don't know what has changed. It's more puzzling than anything.

Zhora

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

cantdecide

Zhora wrote: »

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

You could get someone to give you some feedback on your profile via PM. It's not uncommon...

Galvasean

Zhora wrote: »

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

I don't think that's it as I'm always tweaking my profile slightly. Doesn't make an iota of difference.

Armaghmagic

I got chatting to a lady who has her city set to Dublin, we were messaging away and I admitted that although I play the guitar I am not great at it....to which she replied, "well I may as well be honest about something too, im from Louth, not Dublin".....best news of the day in my world. And not only is she from my county, she is also from my town! 2 bare faced liars in total harmony!

cantdecide

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I got chatting to a lady who has her city set to Dublin, we were messaging away and I admitted that although I play the guitar I am not great at it....to which she replied, "well I may as well be honest about something too, im from Louth, not Dublin".....best news of the day in my world. And not only is she from my county, she is also from my town! 2 bare faced liars in total harmony!

Ever seen 'I'm Git You Sucka'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-1C6QlvHl8

Mr_Spaceman

Back from tonights' date.

Got on well, good conversation, nothing stilted at all, attractive girl etc.

But yeah, here we go...

"I'd like to meet up again... as a friend."

Oh well. Better than nothing I suppose. But part of me left thinking: "What the fcuk else am I supposed to do here?"

I honestly feel romance - never mind anything else - is as far away as ever. And as it's a chore even getting a date, that reduces chances of something good happening considerably.

I'll carry on with the OD pish though. Not much choice really.

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

"I'd like to meet up again... as a friend."

Oh well. Better than nothing I suppose. But part of me left thinking: "What the fcuk else am I supposed to do here?"

Blergh. Feel for you man. Never a nice text to get. In honesty, most of a time in this situation 'friend' means nothing of the sort and they have no intention of meeting up again. It's just a 'nice' way of saying they aren't interested in you.
Not much you can do but put it behind you and move on at this point.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

Blergh. Feel for you man. Never a nice text to get. In honesty, most of a time in this situation 'friend' means nothing of the sort and they have no intention of meeting up again. It's just a 'nice' way of saying they aren't interested in you.
Not much you can do but put it behind you and move on at this point.

Yeah, I'm nothing if not philosophical.

It's a useful attribute to have in the minefield of OD that's for sure...

CastorTroy

Thinking of just going in and changing my profile to remove all the crap to sell myself and just be honest. See how that goes.

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

Thinking of just going in and changing my profile to remove all the crap to sell myself and just be honest. See how that goes.

Hmm, I'm actually beginning to wonder if the fact that I put an effort into writing out my profile in detail is in fact a hindrance to me. I go into detail about my interests, what (I think) makes me unique etc. to the point where the profile is significantly longer than 99% of the profiles I have read* (granted they are female's profiles so I'm not sure what is standard for guys). Since the vast majority of girls I mail go on to view my profile, but don't send a message back I can't help but wonder if they pop in and think, "Blergh, I'm not reading all that!"


* It's no thesis mind you, but the vast majority of profiles I visit consist of no more than a few sentences, usually offering little in the way of discernible difference to most other other profiles.

Esoteric_

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmm, I'm actually beginning to wonder if the fact that I put an effort into writing out my profile in detail is in fact a hindrance to me. I go into detail about my interests, what (I think) makes me unique etc. to the point where the profile is significantly longer than 99% of the profiles I have read* (granted they are female's profiles so I'm not sure what is standard for guys). Since the vast majority of girls I mail go on to view my profile, but don't send a message back I can't help but wonder if they pop in and think, "Blergh, I'm not reading all that!"


* It's no thesis mind you, but the vast majority of profiles I visit consist of no more than a few sentences, usually offering little in the way of discernible difference to most other other profiles.

Nah mate, I read your profile (probably an old one) months ago, when I was first doing the OD thing, and it really stood out because it was witty and interesting. I wouldn't advise you to shorten it. You want to give an accurate indication of who you are, and if someone is too lazy to read it, do you really want to date them?


Mr. Spaceman, I'm so sorry your date didn't go as planned. Like Galvasean, I find that the 'I want to be friends' line is a cop out. Tbh, I've only gotten that line used once, but I've used it a few times and I honestly had no intention of meeting them again. I suppose it's a less cruel way of saying you're not interested or something.

wobblyknees

I'm off for a coffee today with the woman who cancelled on me twice and who I then cancelled on once. I suggested on Monday that we try again and she said there probably wasn't a lot of point if we couldn't make the first time! So I said ok, sorry about that and best of luck. Cue random message last night suggesting we meet today. Considering all the cancellations we have had I'm hoping we get on like a house on fire. Wish me luck!

miamee

wobblyknees wrote: »

I'm off for a coffee today with the woman who cancelled on me twice and who I then cancelled on once. I suggested on Monday that we try again and she said there probably wasn't a lot of point if we couldn't make the first time! So I said ok, sorry about that and best of luck. Cue random message last night suggesting we meet today. Considering all the cancellations we have had I'm hoping we get on like a house on fire. Wish me luck!

Good luck! You must have been playing on her mind :pac::cool:

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

Good luck! You must have been playing on her mind :pac::cool:

Yes, I hope this is true.

magneticimpulse

Date yesterday went well...another date with another guy tonight. Profile has over 200 views, so things seem to be going well and I am only single a week