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Disaster dates?

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  • 31-01-2012 12:11am
    #1
    Evie90
    Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭


    I'm in desperate need of a laugh so please out with your best bad date stories. My worst was a on the second date a fella decided to bring me home to mam and dad and announce that I was his girlfriend then over a very awkward cup of tea with his parents and little brothers and sisters coming in and out ta have a gawk at me he tells me that he loves me. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. He was 22 and i was 19 by the way.


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    #2
    Ghandee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    First time one out my exes brought me home, (very first time in her house) I got so drunk I wondered into her patents room in the middle of the night, stark Bollock naked looking for 'da bleedin jacks'.

    Sunday dinner was awkward, felt weird knowing my meat and two veg had been seen by mum and dad, and I don't mean the one that was sitting on my plate!


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    #3
    ihsb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭ihsb


    Second date. Back at his house. Making out naked and he gets a nosebleed. He then fails to be able to get it up. Really don't know how they are connected but Hey Ho.


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    #4
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    Evie90 wrote: »
    I'm in desperate need of a laugh so please out with your best bad date stories. My worst was a on the second date a fella decided to bring me home to mam and dad and announce that I was his girlfriend then over a very awkward cup of tea with his parents and little brothers and sisters coming in and out ta have a gawk at me he tells me that he loves me. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. He was 22 and i was 19 by the way.

    Ah god :-((


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    #5
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭af_thefragile


    Reading the tread title I thought this was going to be about that awful movie with Nicholas Cage about the world going to end and aliens taking his kid and all... "Knowing" I think it was called...


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    #6
    Pissmire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 73 ✭✭Pissmire


    ihsb wrote: »
    Second date. Back at his house. Making out naked and he gets a nosebleed. He then fails to be able to get it up. Really don't know how they are connected but Hey Ho.

    Second date? Obviously not a nurse then.


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    #7
    idunnoshur
    Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭idunnoshur


    Scored this girl in a pub one night, she was friends with a girl that I'm friends with and my friend had told her that I was a farmer. She said she really liked tractors as her grandfather had a farm but he had passed away and the farm was sold so I told her she could come drawing silage with me in a couple of days. I didn't expect her to say yes but she did.

    Anyway she drove down to where we were drawing from and sat up in the tractor with me. Everything was going swimmingly until I went over a speed ramp going nearly flat out (anyone that's driven a tractor over a speedramp will know how rough this is) and she hit her head off the windscreen and her nose started bleeding. She went home straight after that and didn't ring me again.


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    #8
    Johro
    Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    Ghandee wrote: »
    First time one out my exes brought me home, (very first time in her house) I got so drunk I wondered into her patents room, stark Bollock naked looking for 'da bleedin jacks'.

    Sunday dinner was awkward, felt weird knowing my meat and two veg had been seen by mum and dad, and I don't mean the one that was sitting on my plate!
    You got dinner after that?


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    #9
    ihsb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭ihsb


    Pissmire wrote: »
    Second date? Obviously not a nurse then.

    No... much classier than that... well slightly


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    #10
    cloptrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭cloptrop


    This post is so un PC look away now.
    I was younger once out with a girl . I was having a laugh with her saying that ginger fella over there was eyeing her up. He was ginger and I was still abit immature and he was a bit handicapped.
    So I spent a while saying the ginger spastic was gonna steel her on me,
    I was a bit drunk and probably kept the joke going for too long , she eventually stood up and said my brother has red hair and hes handicapped, Its not funny anymore.
    She obviously didnt see the funny side , Oh what a steep learning curve sensitivity is .
    She didnt want dessert either, funny that , do all relatives of gingers storm out without having dessert or calling again?


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    #11
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    Evie90 wrote: »
    I'm in desperate need of a laugh so please out with your best bad date stories. My worst was a on the second date a fella decided to bring me home to mam and dad and announce that I was his girlfriend then over a very awkward cup of tea with his parents and little brothers and sisters coming in and out ta have a gawk at me he tells me that he loves me. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. He was 22 and i was 19 by the way.
    OMG you're on boards you bitch????:eek:


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    #12
    im invisible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    11th September 2001


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    #13
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,852 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    ihsb wrote: »
    Second date. Back at his house. Making out naked and he gets a nosebleed. He then fails to be able to get it up. Really don't know how they are connected but Hey Ho.
    He must have lost a lot of blood


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    #14
    cloptrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭cloptrop


    ihsb wrote: »
    Second date. Back at his house. Making out naked and he gets a nosebleed. He then fails to be able to get it up. Really don't know how they are connected but Hey Ho.

    He cant get it up , its his fault , you arnt aroused its his fault,
    so much pressure on the man itd almost cause a nosebleed.


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    #15
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    im invisible wrote: »
    11th September 2001

    Khalid al-Mihdhar stand ye up?


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    #16
    ihsb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭ihsb


    cloptrop wrote: »
    He cant get it up , its his fault , you arnt aroused its his fault,
    so much pressure on the man itd almost cause a nosebleed.

    And obviously he buckled under the pressure... cannot have been much of the player he professed to be!


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    #17
    cloptrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭cloptrop


    Sindri wrote: »
    Khalid al-Mihdhar stand ye up?
    +1

    You do some great work man Im a big fan.


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    #18
    Martyn1989
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,561 ✭✭✭Martyn1989


    cloptrop wrote: »
    He cant get it up , its his fault , you arnt aroused its his fault,
    so much pressure on the man itd almost cause a nosebleed.

    I just think its hilarious that a woman would think its the mans fault he cant get it up.


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    #19
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    All my exes say me :(


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    #20
    cloptrop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭cloptrop


    ihsb wrote: »
    And obviously he buckled under the pressure... cannot have been much of the player he professed to be!

    Maybe hes such a player you just didnt turn him on,


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    #21
    John Doe1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    The one and only time I used the internet to meet a girl was a disaster, she was about 5 stone more than what she seemed in the photo

    At the end of the date she suggested we go back to hers, I do cos it was close and what the hell i hadnt had it in a while. She gets naked , sees a look of slight disgust on my face and start crying and crying. I make a run for it. :cool:


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    #22
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    This thread really shows us that men are bastards.


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    #23
    joshrogan
    Registered Users Posts: 855 ✭✭✭joshrogan


    I have a story to share with you. I've had my GF for 2 years now (practically lives with me) - small white, petite thang, cooks for me, always been good to me.

    I go away on holiday for a week, come back and something just doesn't seem right. I asked my Father if he had seen anything happen with my GF and he acts clueless.

    So fast forward to 3 weeks later... I'm coming home from work when BAM clear as day, right in my Kitchen I catch my Father red handed with his meat in my GF.

    I was pissed, told him to get his meat out of GF and GTFO, needless to say my GF got turned off. I just couldn't get over it and that night kicked my GF to the curb.

    Now it's been 2 weeks since the incident and that I've been without my GF and about 10 minutes ago my Father had the audacity to ask my how my GF has been, when he's the damn reason we ain't together no more.

    Should I get off the computer and start swinging at him?

    OR

    Pack my stuff and be on my way.

    Here's pics of my GF for you guys as I know you'll ask. http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/219/51y4bi2g2ylaa280jy0.jpg/


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    #24
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Sindri wrote: »
    This thread really shows us that men are bastards.

    its not even two full pages yet. i'd say most online now are lads, so wait till tomorrow, and we'll hear some of the horrors from the girls.


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    #25
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    ^^^LIES^^^

    EDIT

    Not you stupidusername.


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    #26
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    stupidusername wrote: »
    its not even two full pages yet. i'd say most online now are lads, so wait till tomorrow, and we'll hear some of the horrors from the girls.

    Yes but are girls 'bitches' to men in the same manner that men are bastards.

    Men just seem really insecure.


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    #27
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Sindri wrote: »
    Yes but are girls 'bitches' to men in the same manner that men are bastards.

    Men just seem really insecure.

    i've no idea. i'm lovely after all :D


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    #28
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    One time my "date" kept stealing my drink when i left the room or turned away.. Total dipso.. Tried to bang my mate too. Mad as a brush...mad as a brush.


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    #29
    Gerty
    Registered Users Posts: 460 ✭✭Gerty


    Sindri wrote: »
    ^^^LIES^^^

    EDIT

    Not you stupidusername.

    I think you should look at the picture.


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    #30
    John Doe1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    Sindri wrote: »
    This thread really shows us that men are bastards.

    I agree:D


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    #31
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Gerty wrote: »
    I think you should look at the picture.

    I did?:confused:


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