Shocking Bible Quotes

Mark Hamill

JimiTime wrote: »

Can I ask, is there ANYONE here amongst the atheists that can actually see what I'm talking about, or does everyone genuinely see what I've said as merely an unsubstantiated insult of sorts? Genuine question.

Asking if anyone else understands your argument before you've even explained your argument? You know Jimi, it looks like you are asking for someone else to make your arguments for you.

robindch

JimiTime wrote: »

Can I ask, is there ANYONE here amongst the atheists that can actually see what I'm talking about, or does everyone genuinely see what I've said as merely an unsubstantiated insult of sorts?

The comment that some group of people does not have "the [...] integrity [...] to have [...] an honest discussion." is a straightforward insult. Speaking as mod, I'll leave the sleight pass for the time being -- it's not the first time you've insulted everybody here -- but it remains one all the same.

As I've suggested several times before at this stage, I do think the best thing for you to do is to set up a competing "great bible quotes" thread and let's see how that goes. Your input into this thread hasn't added much to the sum total of human knowledge and peace.

JimiTime

robindch wrote: »

The comment that some group of people does not have "the [...] integrity [...] to have [...] an honest discussion." is a straightforward insult. Speaking as mod, I'll leave the sleight pass for the time being -- it's not the first time you've insulted everybody here -- but it remains one all the same.

As I've suggested several times before at this stage, I do think the best thing for you to do is to set up a competing "great bible quotes" thread and let's see how that goes. Your input into this thread hasn't added much to the sum total of human knowledge and peace.

What do you think of the thread Robin? Do you see what I'm talking about?

JimiTime

SebBerkovich wrote: »

Let me put it this way Jimi
This Thread is could also be reused as Shocking Twilight Quotes an another forum

It'll be posted on by people who think the book is hilariously awful, they're posting for the purposes of comedy mostly.
There isn't need for a debate about weather a quote is out of context because it's taken for granted that everyone knows it's a book not worth reading anyway.

and your responses are kinda like a twight fan showing up explaining that "yeah some bits are bad.. but you're taking them out of context" there's nothing for us to be embarrassed about.

If its a thread for comedic purposes, then I'll be happy tbh. But you are the first person to say that. If its some kind of comedy going on, then great. I'll just be shocked at how unfunny it is. Ba dum dum tish!

ShooterSF

JimiTime wrote: »

Because none of you have shown either the capacity, integrity, or desire that would be required to have such an open and honest discussion. I'm not easily shocked, and seeing a lot of the tasteless language about my Lord and King that goes on around these parts at times, I wouldn't want to be. However, the awful level of 'discussion' and insight, and honesty on display here has truly astounded me. I cannot believe you guys aren't embarrassed by it, and I don't say that to inflame, it is truly shocking.

So you come on the thread pointing out people were not living up to the thread topic but then refuse to contribute to it yourself? Got ya.

legspin

JimiTime wrote: »

If its a thread for comedic purposes..

Only in an 'If we didn't laugh we'd cry at the hateful, mysogynistic, ignorant bullshít there is in the bible' way, I would think.

JimiTime

legspin wrote: »

Only in an 'If we didn't laugh we'd cry at the hateful, mysogynistic, ignorant bullshít there is in the bible' way, I would think.

So is it that you know what you are doing is nothing to do with any honest analysis, but rather, as Seb said, just making fun?

Sarky

Since the whole of theology is complete bollocks anyway, they're pretty much one and the same.

legspin

JimiTime wrote: »

So is it that you know what you are doing is nothing to do with any honest analysis, but rather, as Seb said, just making fun?

There is nothing funny in any of the crap christianity comes out with. What more honest analysis do you want?

The words speak for themselves and all the whinging over context or meaning done by christianity is nothing but obfuscation and playground bully-boy tactics. The evil bullshít that is spouted by christianity and the fact that we point it out in exactly the words used is enough of a reason for this thread. Like I said, if we laugh it's only to stop the tears of rage and frustration at the ignorance, superstition and asinine pontification the average "christian" gets from the bible.

PopePalpatine

SebBerkovich wrote: »

Let me put it this way Jimi
This Thread is could also be reused as Shocking Twilight Quotes an another forum

Where, the Decent Literature forum? :pac:

JimiTime

legspin wrote: »

There is nothing funny in any of the crap christianity comes out with. What more honest analysis do you want?

The words speak for themselves and all the whinging over context or meaning done by christianity is nothing but obfuscation and playground bully-boy tactics. The evil bullshít that is spouted by christianity and the fact that we point it out in exactly the words used is enough of a reason for this thread. Like I said, if we laugh it's only to stop the tears of rage and frustration at the ignorance, superstition and asinine pontification the average "christian" gets from the bible.

Why don't you say what you REALLY think

Sarky

Why don't you ever do the same?

pauldla

Context, Integrity and Honesty: The Petrine Epistles

I suppose it falls to me to answer my own question: our usual Christian apologists have been silent on the matter. Whether that be to a deficit of honesty, integrity, or a desire to examine context more closely, I will leave to the reader to decide – it might, after all, simply be because they have not had time to answer.

I asked who wrote the Petrine epistles, though I must admit that this is a bit of a trick question. Nobody knows who wrote them, even though both epistles claim to be penned by the man himself. Most theologians agree that it sure as jack wasn’t Peter the Fisherman, and instead suggest that the authors were, respectively, ‘some guy’ and ‘some other guy’. They may have been written as fraudulent, or the bit about Peter’s authorship may have added later by an enthusiastic but unscrupulous editor. Either way, they certainly are not presented honestly by Christians, past or present, any more than my forthcoming book How To Play Guitar Just Like Me by Jimi Hendrix (Chapter One: How To Be Left-Handed) is. The Petrine Epistles can probably best be thought of in modern terms as anonymous e-mail circulars that everyone liked and forwarded to their friends.

And there’s your context. We can do the same for pretty much every other book of the New Testament, but be warned: look too close, and you’ll find it increasingly hard to justify any faith to yourself.

No wonder Christians spend so much time teaching their kids that Jesus wants them to be a sunbeam.

Worztron

Genesis 5:25-27
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 After he became the father of Lamech, Methuselah lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. 27 Altogether, Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.

Genesis 5:32
After Noah was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.

Genesis 5:5
Altogether, Adam lived 930 years, and then he died.

Genesis 9:29
29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.

They don't make them like they used to. :rolleyes:

pauldla

Worztron wrote: »

Genesis 5:25-27
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 After he became the father of Lamech, Methuselah lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. 27 Altogether, Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.

Genesis 5:32
After Noah was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.

Genesis 5:5
Altogether, Adam lived 930 years, and then he died.

Genesis 9:29
29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.

They don't make them like they used to. :rolleyes:

I remember asking about this in religion class when I was a lad: I must have been about nine or ten. I was told that 'they counted years differently back in those days'. I did a quick bit of maths, and decided that they must have reckoned a year to be the same as a modern month, which made no sense to me at all. As our parish priest had a habit of pinching noses if you asked difficult questions (or couldn't answer his questions), I kept my mouth shut on the matter. Evil old git.

krudler

Worztron wrote: »

Genesis 5:25-27
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 After he became the father of Lamech, Methuselah lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. 27 Altogether, Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.

Genesis 5:32
After Noah was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.

Genesis 5:5
Altogether, Adam lived 930 years, and then he died.

Genesis 9:29
29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.

They don't make them like they used to. :rolleyes:

Oh but by years they don't mean years. I'm reading the old testament at the mo, its a great chuckle.

To the woman he said "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you"

sorry ladies, all because you listened to a talking snake.

legspin

krudler wrote: »

Oh but by years they don't mean years. I'm reading the old testament at the mo, its a great chuckle.

To the woman he said "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you"

sorry ladies, all because you listened to a talking snake.

Ah yes, the talking trouser snake I think.

Worztron

Deuteronomy 3:3-7 God ordered Moses’ army to “utterly destroy” 60 cities, killing all the women and children within!

Deuteronomy 7:12 God ordered the Israelites to kill all the people of seven nations. He even adds, “show no mercy unto them”.

Deuteronomy 20:16 God orders that we kill everything that breathes in the cities that he gives us for an inheritance

A bastard can’t attend church “even to his tenth generation.” As if denying an innocent child rights to worship isn’t cruel. Deuteronomy 23:2

Note: Talmud quotes are also included in this thread.

lazygal

Are there any funny jokes about Jewish mothers in there?

Worztron

krudler wrote: »

Oh but by years they don't mean years. I'm reading the old testament at the mo, its a great chuckle.

To the woman he said "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you"

sorry ladies, all because you listened to a talking snake.

Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

Dades

Ah, FFS.

The superfluous "Shocking Quotes" threads are being culled (or merged) tonight (after I get some wine in me). Enjoy 'em while you can!

Worztron

Leviticus 27:28-29 God ordered and allowed human sacrifices.

philologos

Dades wrote: »

Ah, FFS.

The superfluous "Shocking Quotes" threads are being culled (or merged) tonight (after I get some wine in me). Enjoy 'em while you can!

Torah = first 5 books of the Bible. So unless you want to split your Bible thread into each section of the Bible it seems a bit of a waste

lazygal

philologos wrote: »

Torah = first 5 books of the Bible. So unless you want to split your Bible thread into each section of the Bible it seems a bit of a waste

The bible being a bit of a waste. I think a lot of us would agree.

Beruthiel

Dades wrote: »

The superfluous "Shocking Quotes" threads are being culled (or merged) tonight (after I get some wine in me). Enjoy 'em while you can!

Please get at least a bottle into you before you start.
It will be more enjoyable for the rest of us.
Bon goût!

pauldla

Dades wrote: »

Ah, FFS.

The superfluous "Shocking Quotes" threads are being culled (or merged) tonight (after I get some wine in me). Enjoy 'em while you can!

Does this mean that there won't be a "Shocking Taoist Quotes" thread? I was looking forward to seeing the dark side of Laozi...

the culture of deference

philologos wrote: »

Torah = first 5 books of the Bible. So unless you want to split your Bible thread into each section of the Bible it seems a bit of a waste

Is this the same torah written on the fly by Jews oppressed by the babylonians?

Nodin

the culture of deference wrote: »

Is this the same torah written on the fly by Jews oppressed by the babylonians?

....well, the handwriting is terrible.....

Sarky

<gathers material for Shocking Mod Quotes thread>

Dades

Sarky wrote: »

<gathers material for Shocking Mod Quotes thread>

Here's my most shocking (or should that be naive?) quote...
Third post at the dawn of the creationist mega-threads over 7 years ago:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=3524529#post3524529