Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

ganmo

Muckit wrote: »

An oul lad recalling the poor quality of the small farm he grew up on...' we had the grass for ten cows and the water for a hundred.'

That reminds me of an ad for a 100 acre farm in Cavan including 60 acres of lake!

Kovu

Fish farm, was it ganmo?

DarByrne1980

remember a lad who used 2 do a bit of work around our area helping out on farms. every1 thought that ya man was a bit slow. anyway one day he helped one of the farmers stack square bales. Jayus he must have been at dem all day.

the farmer meets him above in the pub the followin evening. 'Jimmy - how much do i owe ya?'. Jimmy says well i threw 453 bales. lets say 450 at 10p per bale. giveus 45 pound. Jimmy hadnt figured on ould walsh having counted the bales and cumin up with 340.

Jimmy he says 'u are the cutest stupid hoor i've ever met' - always laugh at dat one everytime i see him.

Nekarsulm

ganmo wrote: »

That reminds me of an ad for a 100 acre farm in Cavan including 60 acres of lake!

That was a classic, even by Pauric's standards!:D:D
A good chunk of Gartylough lake in Arva.........

foxy farmer

DarByrne1980 wrote: »

remember a lad who used 2 do a bit of work around our area helping out on farms. every1 thought that ya man was a bit slow. anyway one day he helped one of the farmers stack square bales. Jayus he must have been at dem all day.

the farmer meets him above in the pub the followin evening. 'Jimmy - how much do i owe ya?'. Jimmy says well i threw 453 bales. lets say 450 at 10p per bale. giveus 45 pound. Jimmy hadnt figured on ould walsh having counted the bales and cumin up with 340.

Jimmy he says 'u are the cutest stupid hoor i've ever met' - always laugh at dat one everytime i see him.

Only in Ireland.
Priceless😂

Qualitymark

DarByrne1980 wrote: »

he says 'u are the cutest stupid hoor i've ever met' - always laugh at dat one everytime i see him.

I heard of a slightly duine-le-Dia guy who had his house robbed and a roll of savings stolen where he'd stashed them. The Gardaí shrugged and told him they were gone and he'd never get them back.
"But I know who took them," he said.
"Sure you'd never be able to prove it, one note looks like another."
"No," he said, "I know all the numbers."
The Guards didn't believe him until they brought him down to the station and he dictated about 50 numbers to them, the numbers of the missing notes.
They went in to the home of the guy he'd named and searched it, and sure enough, there most of the notes were, with the same numbers.

foxy farmer

Forgot to keep up with my desktop calender the one with facts and sayings for each day. The one for Thursday 8th of January reads-
Farming looks easy when your plough is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the cornfield.

A bit like the bureaucrats that come up with slurry deadlines and such.

Muckit

I don't know if l mentioned this one before
Apologies if I did, but it's a good one.

Describing a lad that likes to be thought of as a harmless bit of an eejet but is a crafty h**r at the back of it all....

'He wouldn't take a bite out of a stone. '

Muckit

The reply

' hmmmm... indeed'n he wouldn't... ho ho...'
**slurps pint**

sh1tstirrer

My uncle was having tea in a neighbours house one time she had currant bread that she baked herself but the currants were very scarce in the bread. My uncle asked her where were you standing when you put threw currants in it?

Charliebull

heard a 5 ft 5 lad say to a 6 ft 4 lad one day

"would you ever fcuk off if you were any longer ud be late"

kingchess

Sorry if posted already,an old story told to me by an Uncle about a friend of his ,who worked as a farm labourer on a neighbours farm,Paddy would get the dinner every day from the lady of the house but it would not be a great dinner as such.one day, as arranged, the priest arrived to discuss some business with the woman and so she laid out a mighty dinner with plenty of beef on the table, but true to form she only gave a little beef to paddy and loaded his plate with cabbage and turnips,. The priest and the rest of the Family ate well and after the meal was praising the quality of the beef,how tender it was,how fresh,how tasty it was.The woman was delighted and said to paddy "you can almost hear it roaring inside you,its so fresh". Paddy gave her a right dirty look and said""well,if you can-its not for the want of f...ing turnips anyway".

heldel00

My husband has dealings with companies in India and China through email and he regularly prints them off to give me a bit of a giggle.
They always sign off their conversations with him with phrases such as:
- May your day be filled with the good fortune of which you are most deserving.
- May blessings be abundant blah blah blah ...

Husband now spends his days trying to come up with "Irish" phrases to sign off his emails to them with but my all time favourite has to be ...
-May your cow stand for the bull!!!

(Any suggestions?)

Nekarsulm

"May you live long, and prosper. And may all your heifers hold"

Reggie.

May your heifers always be found in calf

onyerbikepat

'May you be in heaven a good half an hour, before the devil knows you're dead!'

O.A.P

heldel00 wrote: »

My husband has dealings with companies in India and China through email and he regularly prints them off to give me a bit of a giggle.
They always sign off their conversations with him with phrases such as:
- May your day be filled with the good fortune of which you are most deserving.
- May blessings be abundant blah blah blah ...

Husband now spends his days trying to come up with "Irish" phrases to sign off his emails to them with but my all time favourite has to be ...
-May your cow stand for the bull!!!

(Any suggestions?)

May the crows never pick your stacks .

Zoo4m8

Muckit wrote: »

I don't know if l mentioned this one before
Apologies if I did, but it's a good one.

Describing a lad that likes to be thought of as a harmless bit of an eejet but is a crafty h**r at the back of it all....

'He wouldn't take a bite out of a stone. '

Said to me by an oul lad I was trying to buy lambs off last autumn when I told him who I was and where I was from.. "Hmm, well I hear you wouldn't take too many bites out of a stone wall!"
Now after Muckits description I'm not sure if I should have felt insulted!

Reggie.

Zoo4m8 wrote: »

Said to me by an oul lad I was trying to buy lambs off last autumn when I told him who I was and where I was from.. "Hmm, well I hear you wouldn't take too many bites out of a stone wall!"
Now after Muckits description I'm not sure if I should have felt insulted!

Muckits only trying to butter ya up

Ted_YNWA

A hungry mouth never refused a buttered stone.

Reggie.

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

A hungry mouth never refused a buttered stone.

Hungers a great sause

clappyhappy

foxy farmer wrote: »

In the early days of bovine AI. the technicians were often referred to as " the bull in the bowler hat."

freedominacup wrote: »

That's like the one about the special nail hammered into the wall near the crush for the AI man to hang his trousers up on:eek:.

My grandmother used to refer to him as the “collar and tie bull".

Kovu

There was a party on for a relation of mine in a small local tonight. Second cousin of mine had a really tall girl with him (I'm guessing his partner).

Anyway one of the old characters in the pub looks her up and down and says to her ''Ah bejaysus lassie, you'd be able'ta ate hay outta a loft''

El_Duderino 09

Down the local I saw a fella on the receiving end of a serious hen-pecking. The guy soaked it up until he could take no more. He turned to her and said 'woman, you wouldn't be happy with your arse in two halves'.

jack of all

Kovu wrote: »

Second cousin of mine had a really tall girl with him (I'm guessing his partner).

Anyway one of the old characters in the pub looks her up and down and says to her ''Ah bejaysus lassie, you'd be able'ta ate hay outta a loft''

As former employer of mine used to say (about a tall/ big girl): "Sure it's easy to climb over a fallen tree!"

buyer95

"Finest" as a response in the affirmative to basically anything. "Pub at 10 tonight so John?" "Finest"

Zoo4m8

My father used to tell the story of being at a family gathering at my mothers house in Tulla Co Clare.
He was sitting beside a small quiet man in the sitting room as his wife , a big bully of a woman , was holding forth in the kitchen about everyone and everything.
At one point she was heard to say " parsley will only grow in the garden of a house where the woman wears the trousers! "
At this the little man turns to my father and says quietly " then by jaysus we should have hedges of the stuff!" .....

Ashill5

warfie35 wrote: »

yer man is so safe he'd mind mice at a cross roads for ya

If there as many pricks sticking out of her as into her, she would be a hedgehog.

Muckit

A good few of ye sowing hedges....have patience...

The oul people used say:
'First year sleeping.
Second year creeping.
Third year leaping!'

Muckit

About a nosey hoor...

"He's that nosey, he'd go up in your hole for news!!'