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Stealing somebody else's partner

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13

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    #62
    G.muny
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭G.muny


    Might make me sound like a bitch but I always believed in the alls fair in love and war thing. UNLESS they are married or have kids...because thats breaking up a family. But if I really liked someone and they had a girlfriend. I probaly wouldn't feel too bad trying to steal him away from someone Ive never even met and probaly never will.


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    #63
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,154 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    G.muny wrote: »
    Might make me sound like a bitch but I always believed in the alls fair in love and war thing. UNLESS they are married or have kids...because thats breaking up a family. But if I really liked someone and they had a girlfriend. I probaly wouldn't feel too bad trying to steal him away from someone Ive never even met and probaly never will.

    Good stuff.

    So tell me this, if you met this great guy, fell in love with him, built a solid relationship and were fantastically happy for a few years...... and then some girl came along and gave your fella a rogering and said "Well, all is fair in love and war. You have no kids so why not?".......

    Would you just think "Well that's fair enough"??


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    #64
    Dr Bolouswki
    Registered Users Posts: 1,333 ✭✭✭Dr Bolouswki


    I don't think there is any clear rule here. Of course, total emotional honesty is an ideal worth following, and I think that if someone is unhappy in one relationship they are perfectly allowed to move on to another. There is a grey area before this realisation strikes though, where for a multitude of reasons you can be uncertain of your intentions towards the new person, and fearful of the repurcussions of ending the existing relationship. Flirtation is just part of human interaction - testing the boundaries and exploring what intentions or possibilites may lie ahead.

    People are not possessions - her existing boyfriend has no "rights" to her. Assesments of her personality based on a single sentence OP seem rather presumptious.


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    #65
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,154 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Dr Bolouswki wrote: »
    People are not possessions - her existing boyfriend has no "rights" to her.

    It's pretty obvious nobody considers their other half a "possession". But it's all a matter of trust. When you're in a relationship with someone you promise not to abuse your other half's trust and do things that would hurt them, like being with someone else behind their back. Although you might feel that when you're with someone you are not their possession and vice versa, I seriously doubt that you have ever had a serious relationship where you have sat down with the other half and said "Now look, you don't belong to me so do what you want!".

    This trust factor is one of the major facets of a relationship. What is the point in a relationship without it?


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    #66
    pow wow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,288 ✭✭✭pow wow


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    Good stuff.

    So tell me this, if you met this great guy, fell in love with him, built a solid relationship and were fantastically happy for a few years...... and then some girl came along and gave your fella a rogering and said "Well, all is fair in love and war. You have no kids so why not?".......

    Then it's your partner's fault, not that of whoever they cheated with. In the context of the OP's post G.muny's advice makes sense - the OP isn't in a trust relationship with anyone so the fact that the girl he's after already has a bf isn't really his problem. Tbh I'll never know why people always blame the 'other' man/woman.


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    #67
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,106 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    This stuff is pretty common. Loads of relationships out there that started out of infidelity. People like to dress up the romance stuff, but it can be quite basic and led by the crotch just below the surface.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #68
    G.muny
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭G.muny


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    Good stuff.

    So tell me this, if you met this great guy, fell in love with him, built a solid relationship and were fantastically happy for a few years...... and then some girl came along and gave your fella a rogering and said "Well, all is fair in love and war. You have no kids so why not?".......

    Would you just think "Well that's fair enough"??
    Honestly? I'd be abit upset about the end of the relationship but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was more intrested in someone else anyway. I am not going to hold someone back for the sake of a relationship.

    By the way I wasn't talking in the context of just shagging someone who was already in a relationship. I mean legitmately finding someone you are intrested in being with but they are in another relationship but you think they would be more suited to being with you or they seem to have the same feelings. Then yeah I would feel bad about getting dumped...but I would get over it.


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    #69
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    Its a bit like building a castle on a swamp if you ask me.


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    #70
    G.muny
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭G.muny


    Might be a corny example but the whole Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt thing. I never really though Angelina Jolie was a big home wrecker like everyone made her out to be. She saw someone and she wanted to be with him. If you find someone you like to the extent where you think I could actually have a future with that person are you really going to settle for less or let someone else get in your way? Its survival of the fittest really.

    They have been married how long now seem to be happy and have a family yet when he was with Jennifer Aniston he said he didn't want kids with her. I think he was better off for the new relationship.


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    #71
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    G.muny wrote: »
    Might be a corny example but the whole Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt thing. I never really though Angelina Jolie was a big home wrecker like everyone made her out to be. She saw someone and she wanted to be with him. If you find someone you like to the extent where you think I could actually have a future with that person are you really going to settle for less or let someone else get in your way? Its survival of the fittest really.

    They have been married how long now seem to be happy and have a family yet when he was with Jennifer Aniston he said he didn't want kids with her. I think he was better off for the new relationship.

    This is the kind of vapid selfishness that keeps the world spinning. complete with celeb gossip...


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    #72
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    G.muny wrote: »
    Might be a corny example but the whole Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt thing. I never really though Angelina Jolie was a big home wrecker like everyone made her out to be. She saw someone and she wanted to be with him. If you find someone you like to the extent where you think I could actually have a future with that person are you really going to settle for less or let someone else get in your way? Its survival of the fittest really.

    They have been married how long now seem to be happy and have a family yet when he was with Jennifer Aniston he said he didn't want kids with her. I think he was better off for the new relationship.

    A rather BS example, tbh.
    But to answer your question, a quick google reveals that Brad and Angelina aren't married. He was married to Jennifer for five years though - maybe that's what you're thinking of?


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    #73
    GAAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,370 ✭✭✭GAAman


    pow wow wrote: »
    Then it's your partner's fault, not that of whoever they cheated with. In the context of the OP's post G.muny's advice makes sense - the OP isn't in a trust relationship with anyone so the fact that the girl he's after already has a bf isn't really his problem. Tbh I'll never know why people always blame the 'other' man/woman.

    Because it is easier for the wounded party to place the blame at a strangers doorstep rather than accept the fact that the person they love wanted someone else and did something about it.

    I used to be like that, until I copped the feck on :)


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    #74
    Defiler Of The Coffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    What's with all the threads today about guys afraid to get it with the girls? When did we become such a nation of cowardly would-be romantics? Wouldn't happen in India, they have all this stuff pre-determined. Wouldn't mind bagging myself a nice girl and 20 good cows.


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    #75
    Ellis Dee
    Registered Users Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Ellis Dee


    Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »
    What's with all the threads today about guys afraid to get it with the girls? When did we become such a nation of cowardly would-be romantics? Wouldn't happen in India, they have all this stuff pre-determined. Wouldn't mind bagging myself a nice girl and 20 good cows.


    But what if you're predetermined to milk the woman and ride the 20 cows?:rolleyes::rolleyes:


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    #76
    empacher
    Registered Users Posts: 1,864 ✭✭✭empacher


    Here comes a soppy response.

    But....

    Get your heart broken and I'd like to see people saying "All's fair in love and war"

    Or

    are you really going to want to hook up with a girl whose spent the weekend riding the **** out of her bf? Chances are she might have her college bf (you) and her weekend bf (him) and those Girls nights out what ever bloke buys her the first drink.


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    #77
    Defiler Of The Coffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    Ellis Dee wrote: »
    But what if you're predetermined to milk the woman and ride the 20 cows?:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    Que Sera Sera


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    #78
    Zorbas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 194 ✭✭Zorbas


    If you restrict yourself to the "availables" you will only have yourself to blame.


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    #79
    PurpleSt4in
    Registered Users Posts: 629 ✭✭✭PurpleSt4in


    stebe wrote: »
    She says shes torn between both of us! She only see's him 2 days a week wheras she see's me 5 days a week!

    Also did I mention she is ridiculously hot!!! :cool:

    pics or GTFO


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    #80
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users Posts: 26,282 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    Chuck Stone wrote: »
    People's GF's and BF's can't be stolen. They leave.

    Unless of course you're kidnapping them and holding them in a dungeon.

    maddie was single at the time


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    #81
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users Posts: 26,282 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    empacher wrote: »
    are you really going to want to hook up with a girl whose spent the weekend riding the **** out of her bf? Chances are she might have her college bf (you) and her weekend bf (him) and those Girls nights out what ever bloke buys her the first drink.

    so, wear a johnny, be grand


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    #82
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,120 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    Gotta love some of the:
    "Sure my partner was married/engaged/with someone/ was a hoooker when I met them"
    comments.

    Their partners have probably cheated on them and could be doing so right now. And what can the poster say about it? It's not as if they can complain. It's not as if they didn't know their other half was the cheating type when they go with him/her. The mental thought of "Oh, well i'm special. So although they'd cheat on their ex, they'd never cheat on me" is a fallacy!

    You're jumping to too many conclusions. A person who's happy in a relationship won't cheat.


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    #83
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    stebe wrote: »
    I fancy a girl I go to college with. We talk daily, flirt and kissed under the mistletoe on a recent class night out :cool: but the only problem is she has a boyfriend from back home!

    Have you ever started a relationship with somebody already in a relationship? How did it work out?

    I was married previously.
    My then wife started and continued an affair with a co-worker.
    I found out through security measures.
    We or I should say I, decided to give her another chance and try working on our marriage again.
    Needless to say, off she went some time later with the same chap - in the meantime dragging out her lies and misdeeds even further.

    Long story short: if your doing do go behind your partners back - don't - not until you have the guts to be honest with them and inform them you are not happy and you want out.
    Don't drag out a lie/unhappiness.

    You only making things worse for yourself and your official public 'partner'.


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    #84
    Aidric
    Registered Users Posts: 13,589 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Matters are rarely black and white when feelings of lust and romance are involved. We can all be well intentioned but there are times when the feelings are so strong that not acting on them seems unthinkable. That doesn't make it right, just an inevitable progression.


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    #85
    Giblet
    Registered Users Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭Giblet


    Just ride her, but don't make her your girlfriend. Who gives a **** about her fella? She surely doesn't!


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    #86
    MonkeyBalls
    Registered Users Posts: 437 ✭✭MonkeyBalls


    If you have any sack or dignity, giving a cheating partner a second chance is not an option.

    To the OP: If she kissed you and is still with her bf and is still being flirty and warm with you, then she's only worthy of a few perfunctory emotionless shags.

    Double wrap, throw her the cock, and exit.

    If in the meantime, she dumps him, then play it by ear.


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    #87
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Nobody steals anybody away from another ...that's mills and boon **** .If somebodys two timing then they should let one or the other person go .


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    #88
    G.muny
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭G.muny


    Ficheall wrote: »
    A rather BS example, tbh.
    But to answer your question, a quick google reveals that Brad and Angelina aren't married. He was married to Jennifer for five years though - maybe that's what you're thinking of?
    Oh actually you are right they said they wont marry till it legal for everyone to do so, refering to the gay community.

    Personally I know I wouldn't let someone I don't knows happiness get in front of my happiness.


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    #89
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,965 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    In addition to the social reasons not to do it, I have a medical reason. If I'm going to start a relationship with a lady, I'd like there to be a decent time interval between me and the previous guy. I presume she'd feel the same about me and my previous. Call it an "incubation period" if you like: the human immune system needs a little time to clean up the mess ... :eek:

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



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    #90
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    MonkeyBalls wrote: »
    If you have any sack or dignity, giving a cheating partner a second chance is not an option.

    If you want to be a better person, part of that is accepting and allowing others to make at least one mistake sometimes, find out about it, possible allow some learning from it and move on from it.

    If they make the same mistake again and is not willing to make a change/difference, then you know at least your doing the right thing long-term in pulling the pull on a relationship - one that is by then clearly going nowhere.


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    #91
    saa
    Registered Users Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Yeah some bítch stole my fella, was mad in love with him.
    Wasn't her fault though she didn't know our situation.
    Looking back I'm not sure if he ever did either..


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