LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Talking about my life on-line has always helped. The year I spent modding the Clearasil & Hormones forum brought me close to an incredible group of exceptional young people. Most of them have stopped posting in that forum now, but we all helped each other through some really bad times. It didn't matter that some people suffered more than others. There was just an acceptance and an understanding and an empathy in that group that made the forum a magical little corner of the Internet. We are the generation who knows it's okay to talk and to share and to be honest. And all of that is possible because of this marvellous resource the OP has been building since the late 1990s.

^^This a million, million times over! I was lucky enough to be a part of C&H around the time that I was at my lowest, and I can't express how much talking to people on there helped

Fantastic post DeV, and all the people who have replied. After suffering from mental health problems for nearly 8 years, and finally having come out the other end of the tunnel, I take it upon myself to share my experiences whenever possible. I don't believe that mental health should be "covered up". I understand that it's extremely difficult to talk about these issues but I hope to help and inspire people in some way with my own little story - show them the immense difference that talking can lead to.

I'm 21 now, nearly 22 and can trace my mental health issues back to when I was 10 or 11. Really though, it all started when I was 14 and became obsessed with my weight. By 17, I was diagnosed with anorexia. During my "recovery", I started self-harming, a condition that became progressively worse up until last year. At 19, I was bulimic, managed to stop vomiting but developed binge eating disorder instead. I became so severly depressed that I could barely leave my room. I stopped going to college, I stopped getting dresses, I stopped caring about anything. Every day, I slept, stayed up all night, got drunk alone and self-harmed. At 20, I dropped out of college after only a year and a half.

I never felt like I was good enough in life. I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough, I wasn't smart enough etc. etc. I was obsessed with what everyone thought of me and I longed for their approval. I wanted love and attention and I craved it from any boys around me. But once they DID show me attention, I couldn't cope with it. Physical intimacy made me feel sick and dirty. I couldn't cope with the teenage lifestyle that my friends seemed to manage so well.

What DeV said about intelligence and depression is exactly what I also experienced. I had always been near the top of my class in primary school. In my Junior Cert I got 10As and 2Bs - an amazing result by all accounts. But for me, it wasn't good enough. 2 people in my year got better than that. Study became the one thing that I excelled at - it was what began to define me. But it was just another coping mechanism and I completely abused it and let it destroy me. My obsession with being the best resulted in a constant anxiety, an inability to relax and huge internal pressure. The Leaving Cert came around and I got 8A1s, one of the best results in the country. I got my scholarship to college, I got this recognition that I had craved. But it didn't make me happy. And once I realised that it wasn't the magical cure I had dreamed of, everything began to fall apart until a year and a half later I couldn't even look a book for more than 5mins without giving up.

Talking about my depression was the best thing I ever did. C&H helped me hugely and I met some fantastic people on there who supported me through my darkest times. I met my boyfriend, my housemates and many other wonderful people on boards. Nowadays, I'm so much better. I returned to college this Sept, studying a course I really enjoy and I've learnt that I don't need to be the best all the time. I've developed so many other interests in life that give me great pleasure every day. I haven't self harmed in over a year. I still get down about my weight sometimes and I'm still on anti-depressants but I've learnt that life doesn't change overnight. Recovering from mental illness is a long and slow process and it often feels like for every step forward, there comes 2 steps backwards. But you just have to keep trying, you have to keep going and you have to try and believe that someday, things will be better. And that is exactly why I share my story. I never, ever believed that I could fix my life, that I could live without some kind of destructive coping mechanism, that I could ever be content. But I am - and I truly believe that every person who suffers from mental illness can live a fulfilling life.

Macy Shy Twin wrote: »

This is a massive issue for me. It seems like there just aren't many GPs in Ireland that can give great advice about the area of mental health. Recently I went to my local GP about coming off of these meds - he Oohh'd and Aahh'd, looked in a book and was completely unable to give me any sort of an answer.

I definitely agree with you. A lot of doctors are also too willing to hand out scripts for anti-depressants without even having a chat with their patient. In a lecture last week, we were told that the average GP consultation time for someone with mental illness is 3 minutes - that's just ridiculous.

I find counseling, or the ones I tried not very helpful. After my.. incident, i March, they referred me to pieta house. Which is for self injurers. Its a great facility, no doubt, its free, good counseling and what not. I just hate counseling. I hate trying to explain myself to someone who doesn't understand., either how I'm feeling, or what I'm going through, or what's gone on in the past.

Right doc went well, but out of work til Xmas

Was kinda taken aback by the title of this thread - until I saw who posted it Thanks for posting this DeVore and to everyone else who has posted their experiences here.

I've suffered on and off with depression over the years. When I compare my experiences with it with the problems some people have mentioned here, I feel quite lucky really..with me it relates primarily to generalised anxiety (I tend to obsessively worry,which is followed by a spell of depression, and so on..).I'm on medication at the moment which seems to be helping, and I'm seeing a very good counsellor who is helping me view my problems with this in completely new ways, and has helped me figure out that this goes back to a lengthy spell of bullying in school.

There is no silver bullet for all this and for a lot of people it may be something they wrestle with for the rest of their lives. It can be helped though, see a doctor and talk to someone - the first person I spoke to was my OH and she has been an absolute rock to me, despite having put up with a lot.

DeVore wrote: »

I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too.

There can be. If you're genetically predisposed to, say, having your brain produce less serotonin (essentially a feelgood chemical), then you're more likely to get some kinds of depression. But there are plenty different kinds of depression, and they're not all based on neurochemistry.

I went through about a year and a half of depression because a nasty combination of serious illness, messy breakup, work stress and having to deal with horrible people all at the same time just flattened my serotonin levels and left the world looking horribly bleak and overwhelming. It's impossible to describe just how unpleasant it is, partly because it hits everyone in its own way. Some people feel nothing but misery, some people feel nothing at all. I wouldn't wish it on the worst criminal, however it strikes.

It can be a catch 22 situation where you feel terrible for no reason, and knowing that makes you feel worse, and you know there's no reason to feel worse which makes you feel even worse, and so on until you're just locking yourself in a toilet cubicle and hiding from the world in the hopes it will just leave you alone.

You can work your way out of it, though it's not at all easy. Once my own serotonin levels started recovering I was pretty much fine, and it was quite enough of a struggle just keeping the edge off the despair until then. I am in awe of anyone who manages to deal with depression on a regular basis, it takes a lot of willpower and determination to keep it in check. Friends and counselling and treatment help, certainly, but depression is a very personal and subjective beast, and all the help in the world is little help if the sufferer doesn't want it. So kudos, you guys. Keep it up. Don't be ashamed to go for help if you need it, you wouldn't be embarrassed about going for antibiotics when you have an ear infection. Same thing applies here.

Another thing is that a lot of people confuse depression with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). I'm not sure which is worse though.