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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389
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So anyway, as a 'veteran' (oh God no!) of those whole online dating lark I thought I would summarise my combined experience(s) (as opposed to simply taking the mick/messing about as I usually do on here) in the hope that it might be of use to someone. So here goes:
My profile is rarely viewed and even more rarely messaged. The last few girls (half dozen or so) that I messaged have went on to view my profile and then not responded. So, I'm guessing my messages are decent enough for them to be intrigued enough to visit the profile but something in the profile is putting them off.
At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I'm fairly certain it's not my appearance because there's no way in hell EVERY girl I message finds me so unattractive as not to message me. I know what an unattractive male looks like and I am not that (did I mention this post is self-righteous and narcissistic yet?). I'm not Adonis, but nowhere near unpleasant to behold. I'm thinking it could be that my profile is too long/wordy, but to be perfectly honest, I'm not gonna cut it down because I honestly don't want to date someone that can't be bothered reading my profile (that and I'm stubborn). My profile is honest, informative, has a few gags in it and gives a good impression as to what I'm all about. It's not like it is lacking in conversation springboards that's for sure!
Though, I'm leaning toward the idea that my height (or lack thereof) is letting me down. At 5'9 I'm no midget, but based on the amount of profiles I have read that say they want a tall man or a man of 6'+, I think I am lacking what seems to be a very commonly wanted trait among women (at least on dating sites certainly). Nothing I can really do about that (Lying is not an option I will entertain as it causes more problems than it solves in my opinion. Plus I just don't like lying in general, particularly to deceive desired members of the opposite sex - it's just too seedy).
When I do get to go on a date with someone from online, 90% of the time we get on like a house on fire (there have been exceptions where it did not go so well, but those would definitely be in a minority). Lots of laughs, great banter etc. It usually ends with me thinking things went great and that a follow up date is inevitable, only to get a P45 text soon after ('no spark' tends to be the order of the day) or worse still, the dreaded blanking into oblivion...
As an aside, perhaps it's just me (or 'coincidence' might be a better choice of words), but I've noticed trend in that if we don't end up kissing 'properly' date 2 never materialises. This seems to be an unbroken rule with me. Regardless of how well I think things went, no kissing means no date #2. Personally I don't think kissing on a first date is particularly important (or always appropriate), but it would seem many girls do. Again, this may just be a coincidence and I am thinking too much into it. It's not something I ever thought about during a date, but in retrospect it does seem like an awfully big coincidence at this stage.
That said, the odd time date # 2 does come and that's cool. In fact, as not to end on a negative note, I met my last proper girlfriend on POF, so I know personally that online dating can and does work the odd time. You just gotta not invest too much into it at any one time and let it get you down (remind me to follow my own advice the next time I come in here brooding).
That's me in a nutshell you probably won't find me being more honest on boards in relation to anything.
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Mental Mickey wrote: »stupidusername wrote: »yep there are people that would. I for one would. I'm sure you're not wasting your time. but as LoTwan said, it might be filtering you out having yourself down as 5 foot. put something down closer to what your height would be, you might get more views that way.
As I said in a previous post, I don't have a clue.
But, if you're going to arbitrarily pick a height, why not put down the average man's height? No idea what that is ... maybe five eight, five ten? Five foot is very short for a man, and would put a lot of women off.
I know, when I was on OKC, I filtered my searches so that (amongst other picky preferences) only men over five eight showed up ... shallow, I know. I'm sure I'm not the only girl to have done this, though. So it might be that girls are ruling you out based on your height, before they've even read your profile!
Also, have you had someone here have a look at your profile ... it seems to help a lot, to have someone you don't know take a critical unbiased look at it.
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blacklilly wrote: »Armaghmagic wrote: »I sent a message at 9:45pm but didn't post so will send it again.....
Got home from the date, a lot earlier than I had hoped!
Did go well then halfway through the film I got courage and placed my hand on her leg and.....nothing! She didn't move. So my hand was reached across onto her leg and not a movement from her! So rather rashly I withdrew my hand.
Left the cinema and went for a walk to the pub for a drink.....and I stress A drink. After 1 she made her excuses and left, saying that there could be a possibility of another date when I asked!
So home 3 hours after leaving the house.....not good Ted! Sure who knows, any room on that shelf people? Problem is I really like her and I think what makes her uncomfortable is that I am nearly 5 years younger than her!
Tbh I wouldn't like if some guy put his hand on my leg on a first date in a cinema, without sounding too harsh it comes across as immature.
It would definitely make me feel uncomfortable.
I guess the only thing you can do is learn f it. Its like the comical "putting.your arm around a girl in a cinema but if you notice it isn't going to go down well, just pretend you're yawning"
Im not sure if this was your first date, as a previous poster said. if it wasn't and you had for instance kissed before well then I don't see the problem with it.
It was a 4th date & I think there is nothing untoward about putting your hand on her knee. Its a gesture that allows her reciprocate (or not in this case
) without reaching out & trying to find a hand that she doesn't want you to hold.
I'm sorry it went that way. Please don't ask her out again. It would be like beating yourself with a stick.
Galva... Your profile is long but it's not unreadable & once we get over the age difference I will wisk you away from internet dating hell
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I'm not Adonis, but nowhere near unpleasant to behold.
I agree. Adonis is the wrong word, you do have a kind face.
In fact, with the right kind of facial hair and a pleasant (Yet timid) manner of speaking, i think you bear a passing resemblance to a certain Daniel Faraday.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Please form a queue.0 -
I'm not Adonis, but nowhere near unpleasant to behold.
I agree. Adonis is the wrong word, you do have a kind face.
In fact, with the right kind of facial hair and a pleasant (Yet timid) manner of speaking, i think you bear a passing resemblance to a certain Daniel Faraday.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Please form a queue.
Helllooooo0 -
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Rattlehead_ie wrote: »Rattlehead_ie wrote: »Updated my PoF profile. Hopefully will scare the weirdos away and the more potentials to mail.
Well that was successful update to my profile. 2 emails from girls who both seem nice and a date on Saturday with one of them :P:D
*does the happy dance
Excellent news 0 -
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