What would you do if you found out your child was a paedophile?

Oranage2

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

Degsy

Ask them to join me in our emerging Peadophile Nation.

Snakeblood

Oranage2 wrote: »

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

Still love:
Yes

Disown:
Depends on whether they banged kids

Accept:
No.

John Doe1

Bloody hell this is a bit too serious an issue for ah but id probably just give him/her over to guards/priests

Biggins

Oranage2 wrote: »

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

I still would love my child to an extent (that being if he/she had committed any crimes yet).
I would see them as mentally sick.
Accept it? No. I would seek them help - and report them if necessary.

AnonoBoy

Still having trouble making that phonecall to your folks, eh Oranage?

foxyboxer

So long as they remained 'virgins'.
Two scenario's:

You find out they are paedophile's from another source. I'd tend towards disowning them.

You find out from the horses mouth so to speak and they acknowledge it's a problem, then I'd have to support them.

TeddyTedson

Depends, is the child male or female ?

John Doe1

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Depends, is the child male or female ?

No it doesnt:P

DEFTLEFTHAND

Unconditional love.

Saila

kill him before someone else does

Hangballlouie

Pay for his membership fees for NAMBLA!

TeddyTedson

I'd blame the wife because of this sort of thing

Guill

Eat them.

TeddyTedson

John Doe1 wrote: »

No it doesnt:P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkiQRB0P-5c

Posting it before someone else does!

hondasam

Oranage2 wrote: »

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

I would be devastated if my child was a paedophile. I dunno if I could love them the same tbh.
I would get help for them but would find it hard to trust them again.
I would never accept it but would not disown them.

Chuck Stone

I dunno. I mean, a four year old 'fancying' other children is pretty normal isn't it?

I think you may be overreacting a little.

maximoose

John Doe1 wrote: »

Bloody hell this is a bit too serious an issue for ah but id probably just give him/her over to guards/priests

Why would you want to protect them?

hondasam

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I dunno. I mean, a four year old 'fancying' other children is pretty normal isn't it?

I think you may be overreacting a little.

The op said adulthood? who is overreacting?

D1stant

Ship him off to be a priest

stovelid

I'd blackmail them to get the morgage paid off in double-time.

eyescreamcone

Ask him to move to another parish

Sunnyisland

hondasam wrote: »

I would be devastated if my child was a paedophile. I dunno if I could love them the same tbh.
I would get help for them but would find it hard to trust them again.
I would never accept it but would not disown them.

I would like to think Same as above and certainly have them watched and if need be under supervised watch.


BTH don't know what I do and going on my current state of mind would rather them be locked up and away from the general public.

Ray Palmer

Ok so says you find out and then it turns out your partner abused them which contributed to the problem by messing with their normal sexual development.:eek:

TeddyTedson

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Ok so says you find out and then it turns out your partner abused them which contributed to the problem by messing with their normal sexual development.:eek:

Get them down the Isle

hondasam

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Ok so says you find out and then it turns out your partner abused them which contributed to the problem by messing with their normal sexual development.:eek:

Then I would blame myself for marrying a paedophile and not protecting my child.

Immaculate Pasta

I'd probably try and keep it under wraps and send the child off somewhere in secret where someone can try and cure the child.

leonidas83

Id take a long hard ****ing look at myself in the mirror then try and get her or him some pshyocoligical help

Ray Palmer

hondasam wrote: »

Then I would blame myself for marrying a paedophile and not protecting my child.

Are you going disown , stop loving etc ...
Nature and nurture argument comes in too

Chuck Stone

hondasam wrote: »

The op said adulthood? who is overreacting?

You?

I was kidding.

Real answer. I have no idea how I'd react but I'd imagine it's very hard to switch of loving/caring for someone even if they were a peadophile.

hondasam

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Are you going disown , stop loving etc ...
Nature and nurture argument comes in too

I have all ready said i would not disown them, I would still love them but it would not be the same.

gmac102

Oranage2 wrote: »

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

No I couldnt love someone like that

Yes and the rest

No never

xzanti

Of all the worries and fears I had for my baby Son, this one never crossed my mind tbh..

Cheers

Coriolanus

What I'd be interested in learning is whether people who say they'd disown them would do the same if the child was "just" a murderer or a rapist.
As for the OPs question, I really don't know. I think it's probably one of those things that you don't really know how you'd react until it happened.+

John Doe1

maximoose wrote: »

Why would you want to protect them?

That. Was. The. Joke

John Doe1

xzanti wrote: »

Of all the worries and fears I had for my baby Son, this one never crossed my mind tbh..

Cheers

If he's a baby i dont think he can be charged:)

carfiosaoorl

I would still love them but I'd disown them. I cant imagine what it must feel like for the parents of a paedophile. It doesnt bare thinking about

Sunnyisland

Never wrote: »

What I'd be interested in learning is whether people who say they'd disown them would do the same if the child was "just" a murderer or a rapist.
As for the OPs question, I really don't know. I think it's probably one of those things that you don't really know how you'd react until it happened.+

Ok, If any of my children murdered someone I could in my mind make excuses for them,But if any of my children sexualy asaulted anyone I couldn't.

Strange as all that my sound :(

Eve_Dublin

- Would you still love your child?

I think I would, yes.

- Would you disown them?

Only if they acted on it.

- Would you come to accept it?

Not a fecking chance.

starbelgrade

♫♫
Paedo child,
Paedo child,
Does whatever a paedo child does.♫♫

Artur Foden

Wouldn't bother me unless they acted on it.

Sunnyisland

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

- Would you still love your child?

I think I would, yes.

- Would you disown them?

Only if they acted on it.

- Would you come to accept it?

Not a fecking chance.

Artur Foden wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me unless they acted on it.

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

Artur Foden

realies wrote: »

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

They could self diagnose themselves, or something. One can be a peadophile without laying a finger on a child as far as I know, could be wrong

But you are right, it's not exactly something one tells another person

Eve_Dublin

realies wrote: »

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

True. If they confided in me first that they had these feelings perhaps.

billybudd

First you would have to examine what brought him to this avenue of life, whether it was because you neglected what went on in his young days for example you did not pay enough attention to his mental happiness as a result of possibly being abused as a child himself and whether you where at fault for not protecting him againt abuse.
in this case he would deserve your support and you would have to take responsibilty.

If on the other hand he was just born this way then throw away the key.

Eve_Dublin

billybudd wrote: »

First you would have to examine what brought him to this avenue of life, whether it was because you neglected what went on in his young days for example you did not pay enough attention to his mental happiness as a result of possibly being abused as a child himself and whether you where at fault for not protecting him againt abuse.
in this case he would deserve your support and you would have to take responsibilty.

If on the other hand he was just born this way then throw away the key.

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Scanlas The 2nd

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

I'd probably try and keep it under wraps and send the child off somewhere in secret where someone can try and cure the child.

"Cure the child". Isn't that a bit paedophobic.

CrazyRabbit

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Well that raises a serious question. If we accept homosexuality and heterosexuality as something that a person has no choice in, then we must do the same for a paedophile. In which case, can we hate them purely for being a paedophile, since they had no choice? Or should we only hate them if they act on their feelings?

If it is a mental illness, then can they be held responsible for their actions?

And either way, can we have pity for someone who must spend almost all of their lives with intense feelings that they can never (legally) express? Imagine being heterosexual and never being able to act on your sexuality for your entire life.

Personally whilst I despise what they do, I do still feel some pity for them.

Artur Foden

Well that raises a serious question. If we accept homosexuality and heterosexuality as something that a person has no choice in, then we must do the same for a paedophile. In which case, can we hate them purely for being a paedophile, since they had no choice? Or should we only hate them if they act on their feelings?

Well, in a way we do accept them at least legally. It certainly isn't illegal to be a pedophile, as far as I know. It is just illegal to be in possession of child porn

If it is a mental illness, then can they be held responsible for their actions?

In the US they can be held responsible (same with anyone who pleads insanity, or believes their actions were a result of mental illness) but will have Diminished responsibility. According to wikipedia. It isn't so clear about what the exact law here in Ireland is. (edit: that is only if you want to consider it a mental illness, I'm personally not sure that it is a mental illness)

For anyone interested here is a AMA from reddit of a closet pedophile (SFW, nothing dangerous, just text):
LINK

I feel sorry for them, as long as they don't touch a child. It must be distressing to automatically be seen as evil without ever doing anything wrong

Armin_Tamzarian

No
Yes
and No

A distinction should be made though, were they a technically innocent paedophile or a paedophile who acted out on their urges?
In both cases I would be repulsed but in the case of the former you would have to accept that they were born like that and had hopefully realised that there was something wrong with them.
I would be sympathetic though for someone realising that they were that way inclined and repulsed by it.
Which leads into the dangerous ground of declaring people with such urges as being innocent of wrongdoing as they were just born like that.

Logically, I guess that if someone is born that way, realises that it's terrible and doesn't act out on it, then I would have to respect them and try to help them.

later12

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Of course there is a 'cause' just like there is a 'cause' for hetero- and homo-sexuality.

We don't know for certain that a man or woman cannot learn to get over his paedophilic tendancies.
And even if it is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality, as unpalatable as this sounds, we don't know for sure that men and women cannot be manipulated to 'switch sides' in terms of heterosexuality either.

It's popular to say that gays cannot be made to change, and as a liberal, I have no interest in any such manipulation.

However, I wouldn't be so quick to rule out such possibilities. So neither would I be so quick to rule it out in the case of paedophilia.

If my child were a paedophile I imagine I would spend every resource available to me to try and help them reach a state of mind whereby they were of no danger to children - whether that means ''recovering'' from paedophilia or not.

I wouldn't report them to the police, because paedophilia is not a crime.