What would you do if you found out your child was a paedophile?

gmac102

Oranage2 wrote: »

So say you have a child, when in adulthood, he/she turned out having a sexual attraction to children -

- Would you still love your child?

- Would you disown them?

- Would you come to accept it?

No I couldnt love someone like that

Yes and the rest

No never

xzanti

Of all the worries and fears I had for my baby Son, this one never crossed my mind tbh..

Cheers

Coriolanus

What I'd be interested in learning is whether people who say they'd disown them would do the same if the child was "just" a murderer or a rapist.
As for the OPs question, I really don't know. I think it's probably one of those things that you don't really know how you'd react until it happened.+

John Doe1

maximoose wrote: »

Why would you want to protect them?

That. Was. The. Joke

John Doe1

xzanti wrote: »

Of all the worries and fears I had for my baby Son, this one never crossed my mind tbh..

Cheers

If he's a baby i dont think he can be charged:)

carfiosaoorl

I would still love them but I'd disown them. I cant imagine what it must feel like for the parents of a paedophile. It doesnt bare thinking about

Sunnyisland

Never wrote: »

What I'd be interested in learning is whether people who say they'd disown them would do the same if the child was "just" a murderer or a rapist.
As for the OPs question, I really don't know. I think it's probably one of those things that you don't really know how you'd react until it happened.+

Ok, If any of my children murdered someone I could in my mind make excuses for them,But if any of my children sexualy asaulted anyone I couldn't.

Strange as all that my sound :(

Eve_Dublin

- Would you still love your child?

I think I would, yes.

- Would you disown them?

Only if they acted on it.

- Would you come to accept it?

Not a fecking chance.

starbelgrade

♫♫
Paedo child,
Paedo child,
Does whatever a paedo child does.♫♫

Artur Foden

Wouldn't bother me unless they acted on it.

Sunnyisland

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

- Would you still love your child?

I think I would, yes.

- Would you disown them?

Only if they acted on it.

- Would you come to accept it?

Not a fecking chance.

Artur Foden wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me unless they acted on it.

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

Artur Foden

realies wrote: »

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

They could self diagnose themselves, or something. One can be a peadophile without laying a finger on a child as far as I know, could be wrong

But you are right, it's not exactly something one tells another person

Eve_Dublin

realies wrote: »

How would you ever know there a peadofile if they had not acted on it

True. If they confided in me first that they had these feelings perhaps.

billybudd

First you would have to examine what brought him to this avenue of life, whether it was because you neglected what went on in his young days for example you did not pay enough attention to his mental happiness as a result of possibly being abused as a child himself and whether you where at fault for not protecting him againt abuse.
in this case he would deserve your support and you would have to take responsibilty.

If on the other hand he was just born this way then throw away the key.

Eve_Dublin

billybudd wrote: »

First you would have to examine what brought him to this avenue of life, whether it was because you neglected what went on in his young days for example you did not pay enough attention to his mental happiness as a result of possibly being abused as a child himself and whether you where at fault for not protecting him againt abuse.
in this case he would deserve your support and you would have to take responsibilty.

If on the other hand he was just born this way then throw away the key.

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Scanlas The 2nd

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

I'd probably try and keep it under wraps and send the child off somewhere in secret where someone can try and cure the child.

"Cure the child". Isn't that a bit paedophobic.

CrazyRabbit

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Well that raises a serious question. If we accept homosexuality and heterosexuality as something that a person has no choice in, then we must do the same for a paedophile. In which case, can we hate them purely for being a paedophile, since they had no choice? Or should we only hate them if they act on their feelings?

If it is a mental illness, then can they be held responsible for their actions?

And either way, can we have pity for someone who must spend almost all of their lives with intense feelings that they can never (legally) express? Imagine being heterosexual and never being able to act on your sexuality for your entire life.

Personally whilst I despise what they do, I do still feel some pity for them.

Artur Foden

Well that raises a serious question. If we accept homosexuality and heterosexuality as something that a person has no choice in, then we must do the same for a paedophile. In which case, can we hate them purely for being a paedophile, since they had no choice? Or should we only hate them if they act on their feelings?

Well, in a way we do accept them at least legally. It certainly isn't illegal to be a pedophile, as far as I know. It is just illegal to be in possession of child porn

If it is a mental illness, then can they be held responsible for their actions?

In the US they can be held responsible (same with anyone who pleads insanity, or believes their actions were a result of mental illness) but will have Diminished responsibility. According to wikipedia. It isn't so clear about what the exact law here in Ireland is. (edit: that is only if you want to consider it a mental illness, I'm personally not sure that it is a mental illness)

For anyone interested here is a AMA from reddit of a closet pedophile (SFW, nothing dangerous, just text):
LINK

I feel sorry for them, as long as they don't touch a child. It must be distressing to automatically be seen as evil without ever doing anything wrong

Armin_Tamzarian

No
Yes
and No

A distinction should be made though, were they a technically innocent paedophile or a paedophile who acted out on their urges?
In both cases I would be repulsed but in the case of the former you would have to accept that they were born like that and had hopefully realised that there was something wrong with them.
I would be sympathetic though for someone realising that they were that way inclined and repulsed by it.
Which leads into the dangerous ground of declaring people with such urges as being innocent of wrongdoing as they were just born like that.

Logically, I guess that if someone is born that way, realises that it's terrible and doesn't act out on it, then I would have to respect them and try to help them.

later12

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's a sexual orientation like homosexuality and hetrosexuality. There's no cause and there's no cure.

Of course there is a 'cause' just like there is a 'cause' for hetero- and homo-sexuality.

We don't know for certain that a man or woman cannot learn to get over his paedophilic tendancies.
And even if it is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality, as unpalatable as this sounds, we don't know for sure that men and women cannot be manipulated to 'switch sides' in terms of heterosexuality either.

It's popular to say that gays cannot be made to change, and as a liberal, I have no interest in any such manipulation.

However, I wouldn't be so quick to rule out such possibilities. So neither would I be so quick to rule it out in the case of paedophilia.

If my child were a paedophile I imagine I would spend every resource available to me to try and help them reach a state of mind whereby they were of no danger to children - whether that means ''recovering'' from paedophilia or not.

I wouldn't report them to the police, because paedophilia is not a crime.

mackg

Are paedophiles only attracted to children?

Lavezzi

Biggins wrote: »

I still would love my child to an extent (that being if he/she had committed any crimes yet).
I would see them as mentally sick.
Accept it? No. I would seek them help - and report them if necessary.

Would your reaction be the exact same if your child was gay?

Being gay and being a pedophile are both equally as unnatural. The only difference is acting on the urges is morally wrong in the case of being a pedophile because a child cannot legally give consent, despite what popular opinion says and how the media may want to shape our minds.

later12

Can you define natural and explain why you think imposing 'natural' convention might be important in society?

For example, dying from cancer is natural. Tooth decay is natural. Being butt naked is natural. Sex outside of the institution of marriage is natural.

I get the feeling these defenders of human beings being at their most 'natural' actually don't give a fig about what is 'natural'; they're just disguising their own bigotry as something they think sounds more appealing, but do so without any rational basis.

If my child was a paedofile, Id still love them. If they were a child abuser, Id disown them. Why do so many people look past the massive difference? I'm sure there's plenty of paedofiles who have the morals to not do anything about it.

As for "getting them help"? You'd be banned for suggesting the same for a homosexual when paedofelia is just another sexual preference. I doubt anyone wants or chooses to be a paedofile. When they turn into a child abuser, that's when they should be locked up.

Eve_Dublin

later10 wrote: »

Of course there is a 'cause' just like there is a 'cause' for hetero- and homo-sexuality.

We don't know for certain that a man or woman cannot learn to get over his paedophilic tendancies.
And even if it is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality, as unpalatable as this sounds, we don't know for sure that men and women cannot be manipulated to 'switch sides' in terms of heterosexuality either.

Well, there's a cause like all things in nature and not causes like the ones mentioned in the post I was responding to, like child abuse etc. Nature V Nuture. That's what I meant.

And haven't they tried to manipulate homosexuals back in the "good old days" to switch orientation with no success? Perhaps a hetrosexual or homosexual could be convinced to have sex with someone of the same or opposite gender respectively but that doesn't mean you've got rid of their existing desires.

It's completely unethical to attempt to do this, even in the case of paedophiles. The best we can hope for is to convince them not to act on their desires or to somehow lower their sexual drive. Trying to "change" their sexual orientation through some kind of manipulation sounds a little bonkers and archaic to me.

Stiffler2

I would protect my child at all costs. You people make me sick that you would "turn in" your own child / children.

My own children mean everything to me & I would die for them
Other children are strangers and mean nothing to me so who cares about other people / strangers.

Sunnyisland

Stiffler 2 wrote: »

I would protect my child at all costs. You people make me sick that you would "turn in" your own child / children.

My own children mean everything to me & I would die for them
Other children are strangers and mean nothing to me so who cares about other people / strangers.

So if someone sexualy molested your child you would protect them at all costs but if your child(grown up) molest someone else's child you would what

Stiffler2

realies wrote: »

So if someone sexualy molested your child you would protect them at all costs but if your child(grown up) molest someone else's child you would what

I don't know, you're confusing me now. I am saying I would protect my own child by not turning them in.

That's basically my point. If anyone molested my child though they'd be wearing cement shoes. ya ?

Why would I care about someone I don't know or have ever met though ?

Standman

I despise rapists, especially child rapists. If they have not acted on their urges then I would support them as they are family.

paddythere

cut their bollocks off.too many paedos in this country.were the child molesting capital of the world