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Partners having sex toys

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    #152
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    smash wrote: »
    I'd look for it myself but don't want to be branded a complete pervert by my co-workers.

    that'd be the thing to make them sure yeah? :p


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    #153
    nicowa
    Registered Users Posts: 700 ✭✭✭nicowa


    Those dolls are really creepy looking. Those dead eyes! :eek:

    I do use a toy and while I would love to use it together he a little bit put off by the idea. Make that completly put off by the idea.


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    #154
    working fool
    Registered Users Posts: 813 ✭✭✭working fool


    smash wrote: »
    stupidusername wrote: »
    and they only go up to 6 1/4"
    Send them an email and tell them it's sexist considering they'll do tits whatever size a man wants :D
    Dravokivich wrote: »
    I think I've got that recorded on my UPC box. Watched it for a bit, some of it was absolutely hilarious.

    Did you see the guy who has like, 10 of them? He sits them around the table and shít for dinner.... and he's actually married!

    I was married once !
    This guy is starting to look less strange now


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    #155
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    stupidusername wrote: »
    that'd be the thing to make them sure yeah? :p
    Well it would certainly hammer the idea home.
    nicowa wrote: »
    I do use a toy and while I would love to use it together he a little bit put off by the idea.
    It's bigger than him isn't it...


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    #156
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    smash wrote: »
    It's bigger than him isn't it...

    I trust you meant bigger than his equivalant part. If it was bigger than HIM we would seriously have issues.

    Odd though that the size thing bothers people. I read one post on the thread where the user said he was ok with her using toys.... until the day she produced one bigger than him and he felt like it was giving her something he couldnt and he no longer was ok with it.

    This to me makes no sense at all. all the toys were giving her things he couldn't. For example I imagine he is not capable of vibrating like a vibrator. Therefore that toy was doing something he could not. To avoid getting too graphic most toys perform some function that the boyfriend likely can not.

    Yet such guys are ok with all those toys, until the thing that the toy is giving that he can not is girth or length. Vibrations, unachievable angles, stimulating a greater number of points... all these are ok but once it is a matter of size then there is a problem?

    Either you are ok with the toys giving her something you can not, or you are not ok with that. Why is it ok with everything except size? I just do not get it.


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    #157
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I trust you meant bigger than his equivalant part. If it was bigger than HIM we would seriously have issues.

    Odd though that the size thing bothers people. I read one post on the thread where the user said he was ok with her using toys.... until the day she produced one bigger than him and he felt like it was giving her something he couldnt and he no longer was ok with it.

    This to me makes no sense at all. all the toys were giving her things he couldn't. For example I imagine he is not capable of vibrating like a vibrator. Therefore that toy was doing something he could not. To avoid getting too graphic most toys perform some function that the boyfriend likely can not.

    that's the thing though, that's the point of the thread, to see if there is that feeling of inadequacy. if there are other things that toys can do, like vibrating etc, men may be more ok with it because they see themselves as the real thing that can't be beat. it's only a matter of being replaced is the concern. i reckon guys might be ok with toys as the foreplay but if it was a matter of her not being up for the main event because she's ok with just the toy,then that's obviously an issue.


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    #158
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    here's one for the ladies, what do you's think about those robotic ones

    like this:


    | ||||||||||||||||||
    | ||||||||||||||||||
    |XXXX D
    | ||||||||||||||||||


    you see them in the odd redtube clip, they look awesome! if I was a girl

    anyone have one, looks like it has an AI to change speeds mid session :eek:


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    #159
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Deleted User wrote: »
    This to me makes no sense at all.

    Really?

    So if your other half walked in with a rubber vagina and said "well it's tighter than you" or "I can get it in deeper with this" or if they got one of those real dolls with a perfect body, then you wouldn't have a problem with it? I mean, it'll never replace you but it will sure as hell make him feel better when he fúcks it!
    Deleted User wrote: »
    Why is it ok with everything except size? I just do not get it.
    Because you're basically saying his size isn't enough, and that's something that can't be changed without invasive, embarrassing, dangerous surgery.


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    #160
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Saila wrote: »
    here's one for the ladies, what do you's think about those robotic ones

    like this:


    | ||||||||||||||||||
    | ||||||||||||||||||
    |XXXX D
    | ||||||||||||||||||


    you see them in the odd redtube clip, they look awesome! if I was a girl

    anyone have one, looks like it has an AI to change speeds mid session :eek:

    Don't forget them Sybians.


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    #161
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    smash wrote: »
    So if your other half walked in with a rubber vagina and said "well it's tighter than you" or "I can get it in deeper with this" or if they got one of those real dolls with a perfect body, then you wouldn't have a problem with it? I mean, it'll never replace you but it will sure as hell make him feel better when he fúcks it!

    I am male by the way :confused: so it would be odd if they walked in and said that to me about it being tighter :)

    But as I said all the toys make the girls feel things that I can not make them feel, from vibrations to touching areas I can not and/or an angles I can not.

    At no point have I ever felt in danger of being replaced by any of the toys. Regardless of size or function I have only ever felt the toys augment the sex life I have with the girls, not replace or threaten it.

    The point I am making is just that I am confused that if theres - say - 10 toys in use, each of which can do something the guy can't, then it appears not to make sense to be ok with 9 of them and be bothered by the 10th because it is bigger than you are. In other words: Why is it ok for toys to "better" the man in everything except size.... but once it gets to size then there is a problem?

    For example....
    smash wrote: »
    Because you're basically saying his size isn't enough, and that's something that can't be changed without invasive, embarrassing, dangerous surgery.

    Then why is a vibrator not saying "Not vibrating is not enough". And do not even get me started on what the surgery to correct THAT failing might entail.


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    #162
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    Deleted User wrote: »

    Odd though that the size thing bothers people. I read one post on the thread where the user said he was ok with her using toys.... until the day she produced one bigger than him and he felt like it was giving her something he couldnt and he no longer was ok with it.

    This to me makes no sense at all. all the toys were giving her things he couldn't. For example I imagine he is not capable of vibrating like a vibrator. Therefore that toy was doing something he could not. To avoid getting too graphic most toys perform some function that the boyfriend likely can not.

    Yet such guys are ok with all those toys, until the thing that the toy is giving that he can not is girth or length. Vibrations, unachievable angles, stimulating a greater number of points... all these are ok but once it is a matter of size then there is a problem?

    Either you are ok with the toys giving her something you can not, or you are not ok with that. Why is it ok with everything except size? I just do not get it.

    these are the kind of guys that think stick cock in the hole go backwards and forward.....finish, while he thinks "fcuk yeah :cool: , and she's thinking wtf :confused: you didnt even make me cum you greedy bastard! :mad:"

    :P


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    #163
    saa
    Registered Users Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    If we were living apart not a big deal at all, living together if the partner was putting in more hours building up a relationship with their toys than with you then there is a big problem, but sure if they bring them to the bedroom and included you thats alright.

    Basically its grand if toys are a supplement to real sex not real sex being a supplement to your toy time :D


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    #164
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Deleted User wrote: »
    but once it gets to size then there is a problem?

    I guess there's the fact that men don't vibrate so that could never be a threat to anyone. But If a girl was to say to a guy that she wants a big one that will reach the place he can't, or fill her better... then she's basically saying he's inadequate. Sure the sex might still be good but it will never be great for her. That's the point where the toy becomes a replacement instead of an aid.


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    #165
    getz
    Registered Users Posts: 5,255 ✭✭✭getz


    i had one of those dolls when i worked on the oil rigs ,but when i gave it a love bite it burst and flew out of the port hole


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    #166
    Red Hand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    It's good if they consider their partner to be a sex toy. But what happens when the batteries go?


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    #167
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    getz wrote: »
    i had one of those dolls when i worked on the oil rigs ,but when i gave it a love bite it burst and flew out of the port hole

    thats not what they mean when they say blow your load


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    #168
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    smash wrote: »
    I guess there's the fact that men don't vibrate so that could never be a threat to anyone. But If a girl was to say to a guy that she wants a big one that will reach the place he can't, or fill her better... then she's basically saying he's inadequate. Sure the sex might still be good but it will never be great for her. That's the point where the toy becomes a replacement instead of an aid.

    I guess I am lucky then in that this knowledge does not bother me. Regardless of your size there is always going to be something you can not do - reach - stimulate etc. I realise the toys the girls use, with and without me there, or with or without each other there, are things that do stuff that I simply never will be able to.

    It is not just vibrating either - I just pick that as the more obvious example - but some toys have shapes and attachments and bumps and curves and all kinds that will do things and touch things and reach things no person ever will.

    I do not feel threatened or replaced by this. I know I too can do things they can not also. Our sex life included toys and they are great. Everything and everyone supplements everything and everyone else. I realise the girls can likely do things for each other I can not too but I do not feel threatened by that either. At the end of the day if they are with you it is because they want to be with you.

    I am not saying guys have no good reason to feel bad about such things, I am just saying that if they do then I have no idea what those reasons are and I certainly have not experienced them. So it leaves me somewhat baffled - especially with the selective application of which things to be bothered about and which not.


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    #169
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It is not just vibrating either - I just pick that as the more obvious example - but some toys have shapes and attachments and bumps and curves and all kinds that will do things and touch things and reach things no person ever will.

    I know, that's why I said that this stuff wouldn't and shouldn't bother people. A guy shouldn't feel inadequate because he doesn't vibrate, or because he doesn't have crazy curves and bumps because it's not natural. But he could be made feel inadequate because he's not big enough. Same as a girl feeling inadequate if her bf brought home a tighter or deeper rubber vagina.


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    #170
    The Snipe
    Registered Users Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭The Snipe


    Me and my partner both use sex toys together.. Durex :D


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    #171
    nicowa
    Registered Users Posts: 700 ✭✭✭nicowa


    smash wrote: »
    It's bigger than him isn't it...

    I think he's only seen it once, recently, by accident. It's the whole idea of them that puts him off. He's a bit - and I don't want to use the words "old-fashioned" or "prudish" but they're the only ones I can think of at the moment.

    I think - and someone already said this - if you're using the toys more than sharing intimacy with your partner then there is probably a problem in the relationship.


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    #172
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    nicowa wrote: »
    He's a bit - and I don't want to use the words "old-fashioned" or "prudish" but they're the only ones I can think of at the moment.

    Cool, you should ask him for a strap on for Christmas and tell him you got a wacky idea you want to try.


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    #173
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    smash wrote: »
    I know, that's why I said that this stuff wouldn't and shouldn't bother people. A guy shouldn't feel inadequate because he doesn't vibrate, or because he doesn't have crazy curves and bumps because it's not natural. But he could be made feel inadequate because he's not big enough. Same as a girl feeling inadequate if her bf brought home a tighter or deeper rubber vagina.

    So essentially what you appear to be saying is that it is not what the toy can do that they feel inadequate against... but that some toys indicate they want something that maybe another guy could perform better. The toy itself is not the issue, but the guys feeling of inadequacy towards other men, which is being vicariously stimulated via the toy.

    That would at least make some sense but again thankfully it is not something I have experienced, and I am far from "well hung" myself and seem to be slap bang on what has recently been reports as "average" for this country. Even when toys bigger than I are used I simply have never felt cause to feel in any way bad. Maybe it is just me or I am somehow luckier than others.


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    #174
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Deleted User wrote: »
    So essentially what you appear to be saying is that it is not what the toy can do that they feel inadequate against... but that some toys indicate they want something that maybe another guy could perform better. The toy itself is not the issue, but the guys feeling of inadequacy towards other men, which is being vicariously stimulated via the toy.

    Exactly.


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    #175
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    nicowa wrote: »
    I think - and someone already said this - if you're using the toys more than sharing intimacy with your partner then there is probably a problem in the relationship.

    Possible. Or the person themselves. It does not always have to be the relationship.

    Sex, as I said before, is not easy. If it is you are doing it wrong. It takes time, effort, energy and more.

    People can genuinely feel horny but not feel up to what is involved in sex. That is where toys, mastrubation and porn come in for many.

    However if this is happening a lot there might be medical or depression issues influencing the persons energy levels. As contradictory as it sounds people can be horny as hell but not be up for sex.

    Of course as you say it could be a relationship issue - but it is always worth exploring physical conditions too. Depression, bad diet, bad levels of excercise and more can all lead to high sex drive but low actual desire to have real sex.


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    #176
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    smash wrote: »
    Exactly.

    Oh well. I can not imagine what it must be like to feel that way. I know I am smack back right on the Irish average and theres likely lots of guys bigger than I am in that regard... but despite some of the toys the girls use alone, together or with me being larger than I am, I have never felt like this means they would like to be with a bigger guy.

    Then again so far in life I seem to be immune to jealousy and am not sure I have ever experienced it, so maybe that part of my brain simply does not function.

    It is heartening to see the results of the poll though and that my inability to be jealous or threatened by other guys does not mean I am weird in my being ok with sex toys. Seems the majority of other guys are too.


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    #177
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    This turned from a right laugh of a thread to a completely civilised and mature debate.

    FWIW I've gone out with a couple of girls who've used them and found it a turn on if anything.

    As for a big thick one? Well if she was into it I say go for it. I don't think I'd feel too threatened by a big lump of rubber tbh*.





    *Not unless it started attacking my bum-bum of it's own accord.


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    #178
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Chuck Stone wrote: »
    This turned from a right laugh of a thread to a completely civilised and mature debate.

    This thread needs more me.


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    #179
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    smash wrote: »
    I guess there's the fact that men don't vibrate so that could never be a threat to anyone. But If a girl was to say to a guy that she wants a big one that will reach the place he can't, or fill her better... then she's basically saying he's inadequate. Sure the sex might still be good but it will never be great for her. That's the point where the toy becomes a replacement instead of an aid.

    Get me a case of red bull and ill prove that wrong :cool:


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    #180
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    LighterGuy wrote: »
    This thread needs more me.

    Sure does.

    I was sore from laughing last night. :)

    You description of the chewed lips LOL :D

    Classic stuff.


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    #181
    Svetti Arss
    Registered Users Posts: 383 ✭✭Svetti Arss


    whatdoicare wrote: »
    It totally desensitises you down there - it actually makes it harder to climax naturally. Took days to get back to normal when I used one. That was my experience anyways. Never again. :(

    Anyways a vibrator/dildo just never seems to hit those spots in the right way.....obviously it also can't do the other nice stuff that only a fella can. :P

    Yeah like buy a round of drinks for you and your mates..


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