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The Budget; After Hours style

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2456

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    #32
    sensibleken
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,650 ✭✭✭sensibleken


    Stab Pat Kenny and nick his wallet


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    #33
    chickendinner
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭chickendinner


    Lord Trollington wrote: »
    That report was commissioned by a tobacco producer. What line would you expect them to come out with?

    Ok Do I have to break the articles down for you aswell

    Please listen to the podcast before you come back again

    NPR is not commisoned by a tobacco company, That report backfired in their face and was used by the opposition, and you will never see the tobacco companies report this fact again.

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/07/16/128569258/the-friday-podcast-death-saves-you-money


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    #34
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    - Mandatory IQ tests for every citizen & a Stupid Tax to be enforced on the lowest performing 50%.

    - A Scumbag Tax to be introduced via a 50% VAT increase on tracksuits, Honda Civics & peaky caps.

    - A Joe Duffy Tax to be imposed on callers to the Joe Duffy Show, via a minimum €500 per minute phone rate tarriff.

    - All RTE "comedy" shows to be broadcast on a new pay for view Saorview station: anybody who wants to watch pays €800 per year.

    - A new Pedestrian Tax to be introduced to pay for the upkeep of footpaths.

    - Speed limits on roads to be replaced with minimum speed limits. Speed cameras to impose fines on anyone travelling below the new limits.

    - Social Welfare to be abolished & new arena to be built with the money. Previous recipients of welfare to be given the chance to fight for their dole, gladiator style, to the death, thus halving the SW bill & increasing revenue through ticket sales to the new arena.

    Well, you did say "After Hours Style".


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    #35
    mojesius
    Registered Users Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭mojesius


    A wanker tax on fat red-faced middle-aged arsholes in Mercs and BMWs.


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    #36
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    lastlaugh wrote: »
    Living at home with your parents and are working?
    Automatic 60% tax on your take home pay, thanks very much.

    "Oh, I'll just stop working then you Pr!ck"
    OK, zero entitlement for the dole, you spoilt little gimp.

    Jesus what made you so bitter?


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    #37
    mojesius
    Registered Users Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭mojesius


    sensibleken wrote: »
    Stab Pat Kenny and nick his wallet

    Yes! Kick Brendan O'Connor in the face and impose a gob****e tax on both him and Tubs.


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    #38
    hidinginthebush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,679 ✭✭✭hidinginthebush


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    Any D4 gobsh!te who order a "pint of Ken" when they mean "Heineken" gets charged 100 euros per pint of "Ken", 20 for the publican and 80 to the Government

    I know a barman who used to work in Keiley's in Donnybrook who barred some fella for asking for a "pint of Probs", meaning Carlsberg, claiming that it "was pricks like him who are giving this place a bad name".

    Hero!


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    #39
    lastlaugh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭lastlaugh


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    Jesus what made you so bitter?

    My mortgage & bills...


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    #40
    hidinginthebush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,679 ✭✭✭hidinginthebush


    lastlaugh wrote: »
    Living at home with your parents and are working?
    Automatic 60% tax on your take home pay, thanks very much.

    I really don't understand that? So someone working but living with parents should be taxed at 60%, what's that logic or reasoning of that? It's not their fault they can't afford to rent or buy / are saving for a mortgage / aren't aresed propping up the housing market's artificial prices.


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    #41
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Well for a start I'd privatise everything but the most essential of front-line services.


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    #42
    lastlaugh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭lastlaugh


    hidinginthebush wrote: »
    I really don't understand that? So someone working but living with parents should be taxed at 60%, what's that logic or reasoning of that? It's not their fault they can't afford to rent or buy / are saving for a mortgage / aren't aresed propping up the housing market's artificial prices.

    If they don't have to pay a morgage they should sacrifice a large chunk of their take home pay for the good of us all. (and I'm secretly jealous)


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    #43
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    All Irish speakers to pay an appropriately high rate of tax to fund duplicating documents, bilingual roadsigns, window grants etc.


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    #44
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    lastlaugh wrote: »
    My mortgage & bills...

    Well maybe you shouldn't have bought a house during the boom when you could buy two places for the same price in the capital of Germany which has been an economic powerhouse with a higher standard of living and an indigenous export economy for very in demand goods for the last 50 years? I wonder what happened to common sense in the boom years. Glad I wasn't stupid enough to buy, losers!!!


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    #45
    up for anything
    Registered Users Posts: 5,776 ✭✭✭up for anything


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    With the next 2 years of cutbacks and increases taxes I'm not going to have a pot to piss in by then. Looks like I'll be moving abroad. Thanks AH you incompetent arseholes.

    Fixed that for you. :D


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    #46
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    c_man wrote: »
    All Irish speakers to pay an appropriately high rate of tax to fund duplicating documents, bilingual roadsigns, window grants etc.
    Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?


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    #47
    lastlaugh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭lastlaugh


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    Well maybe you shouldn't have bought a house during the boom when you could buy two places for the same price in the capital of Germany which has been an economic powerhouse with a higher standard of living and an indigenous export economy for very in demand goods for the last 50 years? I wonder what happened to common sense in the boom years. Glad I wasn't stupid enough to buy, losers!!!

    How do you know I did?

    Maybe you should move out of your parents house and start fending for yourself you spoilt brat!!!


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    #48
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

    Wha if i iz an imigint?


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    #49
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    lastlaugh wrote: »
    How do you know I did?

    Maybe you should move out of your parents house and start fending for yourself you spoilt brat!!!

    either :D or :rolleyes:


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    #50
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

    Mandatory exams on Druidism and an analysis of how much people adhered to it during the year. Failure to pass earns a fine. It's our culture.


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    #51
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    DrumSteve wrote: »
    Wha if i iz an imigint?
    Then it will be as easy for you to learn Irish as English:) (You might even learn the Irish a bit better, assuming you meant to say "What if I am an immigrant?"):P


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    #52
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    c_man wrote: »
    Mandatory exams on Druidism and an analysis of how much people adhered to it during the year. Failure to pass earns a fine. It's our culture.
    Agreed.


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    #53
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Then it will be as easy for you to learn Irish as English:) (You might even learn the Irish a bit better, assuming you meant to say "What if I am an immigrant?"):P

    I az no Ideer wha yu referrrrin 2.


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    #54
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    DrumSteve wrote: »
    I az no Ideer wha yu referrrrin 2.
    Wuld it elp fi Me speaks lik zees?:pac:


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    #55
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,522 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

    If I was taxed at 70% I'd pay my tax in the UK. End result = €0 for the Irish Govt. Great suggestion though...


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    #56
    hooradiation
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,922 ✭✭✭hooradiation


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

    Well, I guess "After hours style" really is code for unworkable bullshit.


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    #57
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Wuld it elp fi Me speaks lik zees?:pac:

    Actually, that works great thanks.


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    #58
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    lastlaugh wrote: »
    How do you know I did?

    Maybe you should move out of your parents house and start fending for yourself you spoilt brat!!!

    Who said I live with my parents?
    I think you have done because you have the bitter remorse of a property boom sucker.


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    #59
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

    People don't give a focail. :pac:


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    #60
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    hooradiation wrote: »
    Well, I guess "After hours style" really is code for unworkable bullshit.
    *Sighs*... I suppose you're right...
    (bit harsh though:p, not the worst suggestion here you'll have to admit)


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    #61
    Palytoxin
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭Palytoxin


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    you have the bitter remorse of a property boom sucker.
    ^Rolls up sleeves^
    Careful now!


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