The Budget; After Hours style

IvaBigWun

It's going to be financially horrific regardless of your income or status in a weeks time. If you were in charge of it how would you balance the books? What would you do to get some money back into the country?

I'd introduce a €500 levy for anyone showing up at a hospital A&E as a result of being drunk and disorderly. If they cant afford to pay it then it comes out of their Social Welfare weekly.

A 70% tax bracket for anyone making more than €200k a year.

All political positions capped at €75k a year, including expenses and including the Taoiseach.

You?

TeddyTedson

With the next 2 years of cutbacks and increases taxes I'm not going to have a pot to piss in by then. Looks like I'll be moving abroad. Thanks FF you incompetent arseholes.

Mint Sauce

The fact that they are announcing it over two days really makes you wonder what we might be in for.

More tempted than ever to get out of here.

Laois_Man

Everyone scoffs at everything the Government does but I like some of the things I have heard over the last week or 2.

Eg - That profitable companies like Talk Talk will no longer get a 60% redundancy rebate for closing up shop here and moving their employment to another country! Even though it won't raise/save very much IMO.

However, I think the 2% increase in VAT instead of an increase in income tax is wrong! I don't buy Enda's line that increasing income tax directly costs jobs as if increasing VAT doesn't.

Urquell

A Tax on anyone who voted Fianna Fail or Progressive Democrats over the last 15 years.

Tax will be 100% of earnings for three Generations of each voters family.

TeddyTedson

Why do they let all those millionaires with property in NAMA screw the **** out of the system by buying their property back at a cheaper rate?

Giselle

Price of cigs to be hiked to 25 euro - each.

I hate smoking.:(

DrumSteve

I'd normally approach something like this with some humour, but 2 days to tell us how they are going to **** us all for the next 4 or more years?

**** this ****.

FatherLen

Giselle wrote: »

Price of cigs to be hiked to 25 euro - each.

I hate smoking.:(

what do you love then. we will higher the price of that too.

Eric Cartman

Cut every welfare payment, get rid of 60% of the army , abolish the seanad, close the rsa, psa and all those pointless regulatory bodies , drop smokes back to a fiver a pack (id bet the polish smokes would all dissapear in a day) , convert all the duty and tax on diesel to VAT to help business , close our borders and send all the non eu nationals home , let pubs and offos open 24/7 to aid revenue

Giselle

FatherLen wrote: »

what do you love then. we will higher the price of that too.

Cake. And jumpers.

seamus

Legalise gambling, prostitution and hash on an epic scale and tax the **** out of them.

chickendinner

It is going to be over two days because they are

going to fu*k us nice and gently, we are still gonna get fu*ked though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZnw6wuGBgk

IvaBigWun

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cut every welfare payment, get rid of 60% of the army , abolish the seanad, close the rsa, psa and all those pointless regulatory bodies , drop smokes back to a fiver a pack (id bet the polish smokes would all dissapear in a day) , convert all the duty and tax on diesel to VAT to help business , close our borders and send all the non eu nationals home , let pubs and offos open 24/7 to aid revenue

All of this except the smokes price. Cigarettes should be 20 euros a pack minimum.

ejmaztec

Let's all sign on the dole in Hamburg, that'll teach em.

Lord Trollington

I'm ashamed to say it but Drink and Smokes prices need to rise in order to pay the Health & Garda costs that they both cause.

Vicxas

Anybody who has a duckface in a picture must pay a fine of 1500 euro. That'll turn the economy right around!

chickendinner

Lord Trollington wrote: »

I'm ashamed to say it but Drink and Smokes prices need to rise in order to pay the Health & Garda costs that they both cause.

Smoking actually saves more money than the problems it creates.

Lord Trollington

chickendinner wrote: »

Smoking actually saves more money than the problems it creates.

Link?

IvaBigWun

Vicxas wrote: »

Anybody who has a duckface in a picture must pay a fine of 1500 euro. That'll turn the economy right around!

And anyone who says "Amazeballs" gets a 10 grand levy and a swift kick in the balls.

Eric Cartman

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cut every welfare payment, get rid of 60% of the army , abolish the seanad, close the rsa, psa and all those pointless regulatory bodies , drop smokes back to a fiver a pack (id bet the polish smokes would all dissapear in a day) , convert all the duty and tax on diesel to VAT to help business , close our borders and send all the non eu nationals home , let pubs and offos open 24/7 to aid revenue

All of this except the smokes price. Cigarettes should be 20 euros a pack minimum.

The problem is that people are always going to smoke , the price doesnt make people quit , while smokes went up from 7.65 to the now 8.65 in various stages the amount of illegal smokes has increased , the extra tax taken from bringing smokes up a euro per pack has all been spent on customs officers checking for smuggled smokes now , 1 in 7 cigarettes smoked here is illegal now.

If you put the price of a box to a 5er the smuggling wouldnt be worth it , youd have a 95 odd percent compliance rate or more and no need for customs resources.

If smokes were 20 a box youd have every polish lad in the country sending smokes over and people paying 7-8 euro a box , nobody would stop smoking and youd lose any tax revenue

chickendinner

Lord Trollington wrote: »

Link?

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/07/16/128569258/the-friday-podcast-death-saves-you-money


http://www.health-e.org.za/news/article.php?uid=20033286

Palytoxin

IvaBigWun wrote: »

And anyone who says "Amazeballs" gets a 10 grand levy and a swift kick in the balls.

Anyone who says "Yeah Buddyyyyyyyy" should be fined the sum of 1000 euros for every unnecessary letter they add in, along with a standard charge of €1000

suicide_circus

2c levy on every sms, mms and 500mb of data.
Add 1euro to every medical card prescription and 5euro for every medical card GP consultation
Set up a unit which will aggressively renegotiate every contract awarded to private generalise by the state, county councils, public bodies, hse etc in the last 20 years on the grounds of the financial situation.
Increase vat by 2%
Reduce commercial rates by 2%
Aggressively pursue social welfare fraudsters, petty criminals, fine dodgers etc through weekly deductions in their social welfare paymentsp
Sell off and privatise RTe, change tv licence to communications and IT levy and reduce to 100euro
Increase spending for off-shore exploration and research
Replace 10% of social welfare payments with food stamps, redeemable only in the republic.

IvaBigWun

Any D4 gobsh!te who order a "pint of Ken" when they mean "Heineken" gets charged 100 euros per pint of "Ken", 20 for the publican and 80 to the Government

Yeah Buddy

I say we have a big raffle with all the countries in the world, winner gets a Ford Cortina, but we actually rig the raffle so we win, then we sell it anyway

Lord Trollington

chickendinner wrote: »

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/07/16/128569258/the-friday-podcast-death-saves-you-money


http://www.health-e.org.za/news/article.php?uid=20033286

That report was commissioned by a tobacco producer. What line would you expect them to come out with?

sensibleken

36% tax on using the word 'simples'. also a smack for using it too!

lastlaugh

Living at home with your parents and are working?
Automatic 60% tax on your take home pay, thanks very much.

"Oh, I'll just stop working then you Pr!ck"
OK, zero entitlement for the dole, you spoilt little gimp.

Stop automatic Medical cards for wealthy coffin dodgers.

Start fat tax for the salad dodgers.

Earn over 80K combined income? Give back that Childrens allowance NOW you greedy swines.

Politicians Pensions, only until they are 65, and then when they are 65, only 40% of what the bastids get now.

Biffo & Bertie and whoever the Fook else being driven around by armed Gardai?! FOOK OFF NOW.

maximoose

Introduce a fine for improper use of apostrophes. Make a f*cking fortune from this site.

bnt

seamus wrote: »

Legalise gambling, prostitution and hash on an epic scale and tax the **** out of them.

Gambling is not legal already? You could have fooled me, what with the posh casinos on Dublin's Leeson Street, or the "spread betting" on Paddy Power - which is, basically, gambling. (What, like folks here in Ireland can really predict the winning margin on a baseball game in the USA?)

Still, the gambling idea is the most interesting, but it's not enough on its own. For it to work, Ireland needs to become a gambling destination in its own right, to attract money currently in the hands of rich people and foreigners. If you get poor Irish people turning to gambling, that doesn't bring wealth in to the country - it merely takes it away from those who can't afford it. But to make Ireland a gambling destination, like Monte Carlo, you'd have to give rich people a reason to come and gamble here. (I first thought "low income tax", but I forgot that residents of Monte Carlo are not allowed to gamble in their casinos.)

sensibleken

Stab Pat Kenny and nick his wallet

chickendinner

Lord Trollington wrote: »

That report was commissioned by a tobacco producer. What line would you expect them to come out with?

Ok Do I have to break the articles down for you aswell

Please listen to the podcast before you come back again

NPR is not commisoned by a tobacco company, That report backfired in their face and was used by the opposition, and you will never see the tobacco companies report this fact again.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/07/16/128569258/the-friday-podcast-death-saves-you-money

starbelgrade

- Mandatory IQ tests for every citizen & a Stupid Tax to be enforced on the lowest performing 50%.

- A Scumbag Tax to be introduced via a 50% VAT increase on tracksuits, Honda Civics & peaky caps.

- A Joe Duffy Tax to be imposed on callers to the Joe Duffy Show, via a minimum €500 per minute phone rate tarriff.

- All RTE "comedy" shows to be broadcast on a new pay for view Saorview station: anybody who wants to watch pays €800 per year.

- A new Pedestrian Tax to be introduced to pay for the upkeep of footpaths.

- Speed limits on roads to be replaced with minimum speed limits. Speed cameras to impose fines on anyone travelling below the new limits.

- Social Welfare to be abolished & new arena to be built with the money. Previous recipients of welfare to be given the chance to fight for their dole, gladiator style, to the death, thus halving the SW bill & increasing revenue through ticket sales to the new arena.

Well, you did say "After Hours Style".

mojesius

A wanker tax on fat red-faced middle-aged arsholes in Mercs and BMWs.

BraziliaNZ

lastlaugh wrote: »

Living at home with your parents and are working?
Automatic 60% tax on your take home pay, thanks very much.

"Oh, I'll just stop working then you Pr!ck"
OK, zero entitlement for the dole, you spoilt little gimp.

Jesus what made you so bitter?

mojesius

sensibleken wrote: »

Stab Pat Kenny and nick his wallet

Yes! Kick Brendan O'Connor in the face and impose a gob****e tax on both him and Tubs.

hidinginthebush

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Any D4 gobsh!te who order a "pint of Ken" when they mean "Heineken" gets charged 100 euros per pint of "Ken", 20 for the publican and 80 to the Government

I know a barman who used to work in Keiley's in Donnybrook who barred some fella for asking for a "pint of Probs", meaning Carlsberg, claiming that it "was pricks like him who are giving this place a bad name".

Hero!

lastlaugh

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Jesus what made you so bitter?

My mortgage & bills...

hidinginthebush

lastlaugh wrote: »

Living at home with your parents and are working?
Automatic 60% tax on your take home pay, thanks very much.

I really don't understand that? So someone working but living with parents should be taxed at 60%, what's that logic or reasoning of that? It's not their fault they can't afford to rent or buy / are saving for a mortgage / aren't aresed propping up the housing market's artificial prices.

My name is URL

Well for a start I'd privatise everything but the most essential of front-line services.

lastlaugh

hidinginthebush wrote: »

I really don't understand that? So someone working but living with parents should be taxed at 60%, what's that logic or reasoning of that? It's not their fault they can't afford to rent or buy / are saving for a mortgage / aren't aresed propping up the housing market's artificial prices.

If they don't have to pay a morgage they should sacrifice a large chunk of their take home pay for the good of us all. (and I'm secretly jealous)

c_man

All Irish speakers to pay an appropriately high rate of tax to fund duplicating documents, bilingual roadsigns, window grants etc.

BraziliaNZ

lastlaugh wrote: »

My mortgage & bills...

Well maybe you shouldn't have bought a house during the boom when you could buy two places for the same price in the capital of Germany which has been an economic powerhouse with a higher standard of living and an indigenous export economy for very in demand goods for the last 50 years? I wonder what happened to common sense in the boom years. Glad I wasn't stupid enough to buy, losers!!!

up for anything

TeddyTedson wrote: »

With the next 2 years of cutbacks and increases taxes I'm not going to have a pot to piss in by then. Looks like I'll be moving abroad. Thanks AH you incompetent arseholes.

Fixed that for you.

Palytoxin

c_man wrote: »

All Irish speakers to pay an appropriately high rate of tax to fund duplicating documents, bilingual roadsigns, window grants etc.

Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

lastlaugh

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Well maybe you shouldn't have bought a house during the boom when you could buy two places for the same price in the capital of Germany which has been an economic powerhouse with a higher standard of living and an indigenous export economy for very in demand goods for the last 50 years? I wonder what happened to common sense in the boom years. Glad I wasn't stupid enough to buy, losers!!!

How do you know I did?

Maybe you should move out of your parents house and start fending for yourself you spoilt brat!!!

DrumSteve

Palytoxin wrote: »

Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

Wha if i iz an imigint?

DrumSteve

lastlaugh wrote: »

How do you know I did?

Maybe you should move out of your parents house and start fending for yourself you spoilt brat!!!

either or :rolleyes:

c_man

Palytoxin wrote: »

Everyone in Ireland should take an Irish exam every year ( and progress to a higher level every year) as it is our national language, all those who fail get fined. Where is your pride in our heritage?

Mandatory exams on Druidism and an analysis of how much people adhered to it during the year. Failure to pass earns a fine. It's our culture.

Palytoxin

DrumSteve wrote: »

Wha if i iz an imigint?

Then it will be as easy for you to learn Irish as English:) (You might even learn the Irish a bit better, assuming you meant to say "What if I am an immigrant?"):P