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Marriage cert = €150, average Irish wedding cost in a recession= €29,000, why?

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    #32
    tassajara
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭tassajara


    There were six people at my parents' wedding, including my parents and the priest. The wedding photos look romantic and my parents look so happy. Fast-forward 29 years, most brides and grooms I see look stressed out during their wedding day with the hassle of entertaining so many people.

    So no, no big wedding for me. I couldn't handle the pressure! I'm a woman and I know I'm not the exception to the rule from several of my friends who either don't want to get married or just want a small do.


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    #33
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    Hobbes wrote: »
    . Trust me, you will be kicking yourself for that 29K a few years down the line when you have kid to deal with.

    You'll get more satisfaction if you kick the the kids instead


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    #34
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    You serious? You can have a lovely wedding that wouldn't cost so much! nearly €30,000 that's crazy. You buy two or three cars for that much or furnish a whole room/house.

    There is such a thing spending wisely that doesn't necessary have too look like a cheap wedding. and not necessary break the bank, Improvise!

    If I were getting married in all honestly I be spending no more than 5k like! I wouldn't want a massive wedding a small one at that. I wouldn't have more than 100 people at it at least anyway.

    You can do a lot more and be creative with less money like!? Why spend that much for one day when you could spend that kind of money on something of more value and worthwhile that will last longer than a day like!

    Kids can be expensive too! Better to save money than waste it on something meaningless that only lasts a day. A Wedding is one day a marriage is forver and for life and lasts longer than a day!


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    #35
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    YouTookMyName wrote: »
    Book a week in Rome and get married there.

    Dont assume the OP is Catholic
    YouTookMyName wrote: »
    Book a week in Rome Las Vegas and get married there.

    FYP (Assuming OP is into gaudy/tacky stuff)


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    #36
    YouTookMyName
    Registered Users Posts: 3,361 ✭✭✭YouTookMyName


    Mike 1972 wrote: »
    Dont assume the OP is Catholic



    FYP (Assuming OP is into gaudy/tacky stuff)

    Book a week where you won't have to look at any cunts you don't want to talk to and get married there.


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    #37
    duchalla
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭duchalla


    got married 2 years ago, 292 people sat down for the meal, (Kerry wedding!), bill came to €21,000, covered the cost of the wedding with cash presents, even had couple of grand left over for the honeymoon!


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    #38
    ringadingding
    Registered Users Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    We have huge families, My wife and I booked everything and only told people the week before, so was only us and a few close friends and family members.
    Was a lovely, stress free day with a lovely meal and smiles.

    My brother and his fiancee just decided spur of the moment in Vegas, came back and told us.

    Suited us, our wives were not into the big day, we both had no debts afterwards and went on lovely honeymoons.

    But if somebody wants to spend 30k on a wedding, fair play to them, i'd rather spend it on a nice car, horses for courses.


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    #39
    Bride2012
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Bride2012


    duchalla wrote: »
    got married 2 years ago, 292 people sat down for the meal, (Kerry wedding!), bill came to €21,000, covered the cost of the wedding with cash presents, even had couple of grand left over for the honeymoon!

    €21,000 for 292! Fair play to you!


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    #40
    Bride2012
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Bride2012


    This is where the €29,000 average came from, it does add up.

    http://www.mrs2be.ie/newsworthy/some-wedding-stats-from-irish-wedding-survey-2011/


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    #41
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    duchalla wrote: »
    got married 2 years ago, 292 people sat down for the meal, (Kerry wedding!), bill came to €21,000, covered the cost of the wedding with cash presents, even had couple of grand left over for the honeymoon!

    At the risk of being told to go and feck myself I believe this was the subject of another recent thread where the general consensus was somewhat unfavorable :D


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    #42
    duchalla
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭duchalla


    Mike1972, I'm new to boards, not trying to offend anyone, just telling my experience is all!


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    #43
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Bride2012 wrote: »
    We do know them all, we've, 14 uncles, 9 aunts and 58 first cousins between us and then add partners. Then our friends and colleagues and then our parents' friends and colleagues. I just need to find a line.

    Myself and my partner have more than that many aunts, uncles and cousins between us, so won't be inviting any of them. There are just too many. I just think, would you ordinarily invite these people out for dinner? If not, then why would you invite them to your wedding?

    I also think if someone is not in your daily/ weekly/ monthly life, then they don't need to be invited to a very special day for you and your partner.

    You surely cannot enjoy a day with your family and friends if you have to spend most of it saying hi to 200+ people you don't know that well/ haven't seen in years. Invite the people you would like to spend the day with.

    ringadingding wrote: »
    We have huge families, My wife and I booked everything and only told people the week before, so was only us and a few close friends and family members.
    Was a lovely, stress free day with a lovely meal and smiles.

    My brother and his fiancee just decided spur of the moment in Vegas, came back and told us.

    Suited us, our wives were not into the big day, we both had no debts afterwards and went on lovely honeymoons.

    But if somebody wants to spend 30k on a wedding, fair play to them, i'd rather spend it on a nice car, horses for courses.

    This sounds wonderful to me!


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    #44
    4leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,940 ✭✭✭4leto


    Its kind of refreshing to hear, that a bride is concerned that her wedding is going to OTT.

    In all the wedding I was at and that is loads, I always felt it was solely the brides day, the hubby and the family just went along with her wishes.

    And if you choose it to be cheaper, I guarantee the hubby and family will go along with your wishes.


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    #45
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    weddings do tend to spiral out of control once families stick their oar in , "hey its a big day, so cripple yourself financially for the first few years of your new marriage, do it in style!"

    If I ever got married a registry office, fun afters do and spend the money on a savage honeymoon would be the way to go. 29 grand is absolutely insane money to spend on whats essentially a party for your relatives who will bitch about things you should have done difference, women can turn into such cows at other peoples weddings, slagging off the dress, the napkins, blah blah, was at one last year and couldnt believe how bitchy some of the "dont make much of the..." comments about the brides choices were.


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    #46
    Logical Fallacy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,933 ✭✭✭Logical Fallacy


    4leto wrote: »
    Its kind of refreshing to hear, that a bride is concerned that her wedding is going to OTT.

    In all the wedding I was at and that is loads, I always felt it was solely the brides day, the hubby and the family just went along with her wishes.

    And if you choose it to be cheaper, I guarantee the hubby and family will go along with your wishes.

    When a mate of mine got married his bride to be wanted a small wedding but he was adamant that he wanted a big day.

    So we all pitched in and got him a lovely wedding dress. :D


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    #47
    amacca
    Registered Users Posts: 6,819 ✭✭✭amacca


    krudler wrote: »
    weddings do tend to spiral out of control once families stick their oar in , "hey its a big day, so cripple yourself financially for the first few years of your new marriage, do it in style!"

    If I ever got married a registry office, fun afters do and spend the money on a savage honeymoon would be the way to go. 29 grand is absolutely insane money to spend on whats essentially a party for your relatives who will bitch about things you should have done difference, women can turn into such cows at other peoples weddings, slagging off the dress, the napkins, blah blah, was at one last year and couldnt believe how bitchy some of the "dont make much of the..." comments about the brides choices were.

    agreed

    29K for one day is stupid.......tradition...pressure....the couple or one of them wanting that fairytale and the other giving in...its often not even an enjoyable day for the couple.


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    #48
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users Posts: 8,146 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    Bride2012 wrote: »
    I'm a girl and don't want it.

    Why do people think that all women want a huge 'fairytale' wedding? A wedding like that would be my idea of hell. We haven't got down to planning the details or anything yet, but myself and my fiance would rather elope and have a small do (as in a meal in a restaurant followed by the pub) when we get back.

    OP if you really don't want it then you need to put your foot down! It's you and your partners day, not your parents. You want to have happy memories of your wedding day, not to look back and cringe about how much money you spent. Not to mention the amount of time spent making small talk with people you hardly see from one end of the year to the next.


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    #49
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Bride2012 wrote: »
    I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?
    You're not. You're being forced into it.


    If you don't want a big wedding, and would prefer a smaller event, why the hell are you listening to anyone else? Tell your parents they should have a second wedding if they're so keen on a big one, but this is yours and your husband-to-be's day. You draw up a list of people you both want there, and dont let anyone add to it.


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    #50
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    4leto wrote: »
    In all the wedding I was at and that is loads, I always felt it was solely the brides day, the hubby and the family just went along with her wishes.

    Evidently its the other way around ?


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    #51
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Abi wrote: »
    You're not. You're being forced into it.


    If you don't want a big wedding, and would prefer a smaller event, why the hell are you listening to anyone else? Tell your parents they should have a second wedding if they're so keen on a big one, but this is yours and your husband-to-be's day. You draw up a list of people you both want there, and dont let anyone add to it.

    this post makes sense, an alien concept in this country when it comes to these things.

    also the "I didnt want 20 grand wedding but daddy paid for it so then it was ok" thing is sickening. if your parents help you out or loan you something fine, but letting them pay a fortune for a wedding then acting like you had no choice? madness.


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    #52
    maygitchell
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 843 ✭✭✭maygitchell


    Jaysus, 29k and what do you get? bjs for a max of 3-5 years, and sex for not much longer than that, bad value imho


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    #53
    Bride2012
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Bride2012


    maygitchell wrote: »
    Jaysus, 29k and what do you get? bjs for a max of 3-5 years, and sex for not much longer than that, bad value imho

    How romantic.


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    #54
    red menace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,462 ✭✭✭red menace


    We had lots of pressure for the big wedding from all sides.
    But we held firm, had 90 people for the wedding including evening, everyone there were people that we really wanted to be there and that was it.
    It was a great day but hard work talking to everyone and mixing but ultimately great craic. If we had listened to everyone we would have ended up with 200 people easily
    Brought the whole thing in for 11K including honeymoon


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    #55
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    maygitchell wrote: »
    Jaysus, 29k and what do you get? bjs for a max of 3-5 years, and sex for not much longer than that, bad value imho

    :D TBH I always thought getting married was what couples did when they got bored with having sex ?
    slavetothegrind wrote: »
    my brother did the whole irish wedding thing
    TBH if were going down the route of making sweeping generalisations about the propensity of making a ridiculously big deal over weddings and the tendency of families (particularly mothers) to interfere among different ethnicities the Irish wouldnt be at the very top of the leauge.


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    #56
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    red menace wrote: »
    We had lots of pressure for the big wedding from all sides.
    But we held firm, had 90 people for the wedding including evening, everyone there were people that we really wanted to be there and that was it.
    It was a great day but hard work talking to everyone and mixing but ultimately great craic. If we had listened to everyone we would have ended up with 200 people easily
    Brought the whole thing in for 11K including honeymoon

    Yeah, you really showed them! :rolleyes:


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    #57
    Karen23
    Registered Users Posts: 1,871 ✭✭✭Karen23


    The majority of people who had big weddings will tell you if they could do it all over they wouldn't bother with all the added extras and inviting people you don't even know. People get caught up in '' having to do this '' and ''having to do that'' and then realise afterwards how ridiculous it is and how you can get caught up in it.


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    #58
    4leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,940 ✭✭✭4leto


    krudler wrote: »
    weddings do tend to spiral out of control once families stick their oar in , "hey its a big day, so cripple yourself financially for the first few years of your new marriage, do it in style!"

    If I ever got married a registry office, fun afters do and spend the money on a savage honeymoon would be the way to go. 29 grand is absolutely insane money to spend on whats essentially a party for your relatives who will bitch about things you should have done difference, women can turn into such cows at other peoples weddings, slagging off the dress, the napkins, blah blah, was at one last year and couldnt believe how bitchy some of the "dont make much of the..." comments about the brides choices were.

    Yeah I am just copping on to that 29,000 that is an insane amount of cash for one day, imagine the honeymoon you could get with 29 grand, imagine what else you could do with 29000, even to chop it off your mortgage would be a much better thing to do in the long run.


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    #59
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Ireland now has a 50% divorce rate and it's climbing rapidly...so yeah enjoy your wedding.


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    #60
    maygitchell
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 843 ✭✭✭maygitchell


    TheZohan wrote: »
    Ireland now has a 50% divorce rate and it's climbing rapidly...so yeah enjoy your wedding.

    I feel the optimism :rolleyes:


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    #61
    Bens
    Closed Accounts Posts: 261 ✭✭Bens


    My cousin eloped and didnt tell her parents til after.
    Brought 12 of us who were close to them to the Caribbean and got married there.
    We had a great time and it cost them much less than a traditional wedding.

    Then about 10 years later her father died. A few weeks before he died I remember him saying at another family wedding he only wished he could have walked his daughter up the aisle. And asking me what the wedding was like. He missed that she didnt have a big wedding.
    I never told her he said that.


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