Women who ask about your job and how much you earn!

py2006

kangaroo wrote: »

I've a female relative in her 60s who just inherited a house. She has no other money except a social welfare payment. Anyway, another female relative thinks she will now need to watch out as she could have men "moving in on her" because of her money. I find this bizarre - to me, I can't see her as much of a catch looking at it from a man's point of view. I have pointed out that I think most men aren't going to find a woman in her 60s that attractive - and the ones that might are likely to be older and have their own pension, etc. But this (second) female relative is adamant that this wouldn't matter to some men and that the woman who inherited the house needs to be on her guard.

Wow, I don't think I have ever heard anything like that. She may need to be wary of her own sons/daughters if she has any.

You often hear of of them fighting over money or property from their parents.

LeeHoffmann

If a woman broke up with me because I wanted to get a pre-nup or civil agreement, then I would doubt their intentions

absolutely. You'd have to consider that a lucky escape. However, I agree with bluewolf here. If the guy I was marrying wanted a pre-nup, I'd think a) he doesn't trust me, and b) he doesn't know me if he suspects I would be anything less than fair or that I'd be after his money following a break-up. I'd give him whatever legal security he'd get from a marriage (e.g. equal parenting etc) but marriage would be off the table permanently. That's just me though. I'm sure plenty of women and men wouldn't take such an extreme reaction to it

It would be interesting to see how some women feel about potential partners not earning as much.

pffft a complete and utter non-issue for this woman anyway. I literally couldn't care less

kangaroo

py2006 wrote: »

kangaroo wrote:

I've a female relative in her 60s who just inherited a house. She has no other money except a social welfare payment. Anyway, another female relative thinks she will now need to watch out as she could have men "moving in on her" because of her money. I find this bizarre - to me, I can't see her as much of a catch looking at it from a man's point of view. I have pointed out that I think most men aren't going to find a woman in her 60s that attractive - and the ones that might are likely to be older and have their own pension, etc. But this (second) female relative is adamant that this wouldn't matter to some men and that the woman who inherited the house needs to be on her guard.

Wow, I don't think I have ever heard anything like that.

As I say, I don't think it should be a particular concern. But it suggests to me at least some women think male golddiggers are a big concern. I know I and I think most men wouldn't start going out with somebody because she had a bit more money than me or had an asset but I/they didn't find her physically attractive - I'd find other ways to get money, like working harder or whatever, more attractive. Or simply live with my lot. I couldn't act attracted to somebody long-term (i.e. perhaps if there was a once-off appointment for business I might be able to if really required but not in my personal life)/her buying me stuff wouldn't make her more attractive to me.

py2006

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

pffft a complete and utter non-issue for this woman anyway. I literally couldn't care less

There wasn't any sarcastic insunuation or anything. It was more out of curiousity. As a lot of men might be uncomfortable with the situation.

I know a guy whose girlfriend earns nearly €70,000 more than he does. He doesn't say it but I know he feels uncomfortable in certain social scenarios!

It doesnt help that some of us call him, 'her bitch'. haha

LeeHoffmann

There wasn't any sarcastic insunuation or anything. It was more out of curiousity.

I didn't take it that way at all. I thought you meant you that it was an interesting question

As a lot of men might be uncomfortable with the situation.

Why? (genuine, just don't understand, not saracastic)

parker kent

kangaroo wrote: »

I've a female relative in her 60s who just inherited a house. She has no other money except a social welfare payment. Anyway, another female relative thinks she will now need to watch out as she could have men "moving in on her" because of her money. I find this bizarre - to me, I can't see her as much of a catch looking at it from a man's point of view. I have pointed out that I think most men aren't going to find a woman in her 60s that attractive - and the ones that might are likely to be older and have their own pension, etc. But this (second) female relative is adamant that this wouldn't matter to some men and that the woman who inherited the house needs to be on her guard.

I agree with you there. If you offered a choice between a 20 year old penniless, but attractive student or the 60 year old wealthy woman, I imagine 9 out of 10 men aged between 18 and 40 would choose the student.

paulmclaughlin

parker kent wrote: »

I agree with you there. If you offered a choice between a 20 year old penniless, but attractive student or the 60 year old wealthy woman, I imagine 9 out of 10 men aged between 18 and 40 would choose the student.

So you're disagreeing then?

py2006

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I didn't take it that way at all. I thought you meant you that it was an interesting question

Why? (genuine, just don't understand, not saracastic)

I think it is inbuilt into men to get 'the job', and earn 'the money'. Even in our relatively modern society it is still the case with men. I am not saying that is the way it should be. But I think deep down there is still that pressure among men.

iptba

py2006 wrote: »

I think it is inbuilt into men to get 'the job', and earn 'the money'. Even in our relatively modern society it is still the case with men. I am not saying that is the way it should be. But I think deep down there is still that pressure among men.

I'm somebody who believes there are average "inbuilt" differences between men and women in some areas. However, I'm not sure if this one of them. That's not to say there isn't pressure.

mariaalice

Do people not think the vast majority is just idle chit chat ( except for asking how much you earn that very very rude imo )

If you are at a party or something and you don't know the person very well it gets the conversation going plus asking someone what they do open up all sorts of conversation possibilities, their commute, what their job is like etc..I would never ask about cars unless it came up naturally mainly because I have no interest in cars.

parker kent

paulmclaughlin wrote: »

So you're disagreeing then?

How am I disagreeing? kangaroo said "I can't see her as much of a catch looking at it from a man's point of view.". I gave an example of how most men would prefer a younger, attractive woman (even if she was poor) to an older, wealthy woman.

iptba

iptba wrote: »

py2006 wrote:

I think it is inbuilt into men to get 'the job', and earn 'the money'. Even in our relatively modern society it is still the case with men. I am not saying that is the way it should be. But I think deep down there is still that pressure among men.

I'm somebody who believes there are average "inbuilt" differences between men and women in some areas. However, I'm not sure if this one of them. That's not to say there isn't pressure.

Just following up on this. I think being solely a househusband may not be satisfying for some/many/most (?) men. For me, I like the sense of achievement of completing something. I don't get it from spending a good portion of my time clearing specks of dust I would likely not have noticed - the old joke that dust is something invisible to men has some truth in it, for me anyway. Unless there are young children around, I don't feel the need for things to be spotless. So if that was your point, then maybe I agree with you a bit more.

G-Money

I literally couldn't care less how much a woman earns, as long as she does earn money. I wouldn't fancy always having to pay for stuff so the more she earns the better in my eyes

magneticimpulse

works both ways...I (female) get those questions...you dont have to answer them you know. I actually refuse to answer those sort of questions. It puts people in their place and lets them know they are being too nosey.