Women who ask about your job and how much you earn!

py2006

Some women ask these questions or variations of them in a social context within a short time of meeting a guy for the first time.

The 'what do you work at?' question is quite common. Virtually every person you meet will eventually ask this out of curiosity.

'How much do you earn?' is invasive and personal. It is rare, but I have been asked it on a couple of occasions.

I don't even tell my friends how much I earn. Mainly because I know I earn more than some and I earn less than others and I don't want to create an awkward scenario.

How have you reacted in the past to these situations?

Captain Havoc

I don't earn a set wage so I can easily avoid it. Personally though, I wouldn't be keen on someone who had an interest in my wages anyway, even when someone asks me where I'm from I just say the city. I am what I am and I don't like been judged on where I'm from or how much money I earn.

ToxicPaddy

py2006 wrote: »

Some women ask these questions or variations of them in a social context withing a short time of meeting a guy for the first time.

The 'what do you work at?' question is quite common. Virtually every person you meet will eventually ask this out of curiosity.

'How much do you earn?' is invasive and personal. It is rare, but I have been asked it on a couple of occasions.

I don't even tell my friends how much I earn. Mainly because I know I earn more than some and I earn less than others and I don't want to create an awkward scenario.

How have you reacted in the past to these situations?

I find the first question, about what do you work at a fairly common question and its something I would have no problem asking someone as its a general topic of conversation..

However if someone asks me what do I earn, they get the cold shoulder very quickly, its none of their business and I would have no problem telling them that..

Snowie

It called absaloutly none of your buisness and I'd probably stop talking to her... there an then....

Sonics2k

"Statistically more than you" :pac:

Mack_1111

Any woman that asks how much you earn is nothing but a jersey dragger! Walk away.

Maguined

I get asked by men as often as women "what do you work at" and I have never had a single man or woman ask me exactly how much.

Kinetic^

I earn euros.

Where are all these women asking about salaries, I have never heard of such a thing
Not that I would be asked but what a "none of your business" question

LeeHoffmann

extremely impolite to ask people directly how much they earn, especially strangers! I'd even find that a no-go topic with friends, probably even family. My OH doesn't see this as an issue though and would discuss how much he earns/ask close friends and family about their earnings, the cost of things etc - but asking strangers is surely considered a no no by everyone? Maybe just ask some personal question back to demonstrate the point - perhaps along the lines of 'when was your last 1 night stand?'

Will

In some cultures asking how much you earn is quite common e.g japanese and chinese and a sign that the person asking feels they know you well enough and are good friends.

Don't think I've ever been asked the question though, personally I couldn't care about my wages and wouldn't have a problem telling someone if they asked. I'd never ask someone how much they earn, you can roughly estimate anyway if you know what they work at.

Sonics2k

I've never been asked directly how much I earn.

Maybe the odd offhand questions like "Well that can't pay to much" or similar.
If people do start to hint towards it I tend to just respond with something along the lines of "Enough to get by" and so on.

yizorselves

They usually ask "What do you do?" and you know that means what you work at. Only one time this woman asked me what car did I drive so I lied and said a 2011 Audi A4. Ended up snogging her and then fecked off to chat up other girls. She seemed quite miffed when I went past her a while later. Ah well

py2006

yizorselves wrote: »

Only one time this woman asked me what car did I drive so I lied and said a 2011 Audi A4. Ended up snogging her and then fecked off to chat up other girls. She seemed quite miffed when I went past her a while later. Ah well

I forgot to add the 'What do you drive?' question!

ToxicPaddy

py2006 wrote: »

I forgot to add the 'What do you drive?' question!

yeah I got that before too, my response, "a car as the tractor was a b*tch to park in the city".. that usually was enough of a hint for the conversation to take another direction

foxyboxer

"...about on a par with my portfolio income"

*swoon*

I made the BBC

I think that's so inappropriate! :eek:
I'd never ever ask a guy how much he earns!
These days its a bit of a minefield to even ask what somebody does. When I came home a couple of years ago I was unemployed for a few months and I used to hate when people asked me what I did! "I watch a lot of daytime tv in my pjs.....awkward eh?" :pac:

I know its probably just impulse for a lot of people to ask somebody what they do for a living, but I don't tend to do it unless they ask me first.

kfallon

I made the BBC wrote: »

"I watch a lot of daytime tv in my pjs.....awkward eh?" :pac:

Well to be fair if you made the BBC you're entitled to watch it every day :pac:

I've never had a woman ask me how much I earn. They may ask me what I do for a living but I always felt it was just a conversational thing rather than 'snooping' for info

gargleblaster

Some people get offended when you ask what they do, but some people think it's conversational. I haven't ever considered it a rude or snooping question, just curiosity. I think the income question is odd, but I could see it becoming fairly common for a variety of reasons.

While I'm not the type to be too interested in or curious about it, I have to say I don't see that it's so rude or wrong really. I don't think it's any more superficial for a woman's interest to be based primarily on the size of a man's bank account than for a man's interest to be based primarily on a woman's physical assets, and since income isn't so obvious as T&A, they have to ask.

Voodoo_rasher

ask the former, as indeed Irish people do. and it got the point where i stopped making new friends with my own compatriots!

I seldom had this problem with other nationals..We're so materialistic and status obsessed.

ur mentor

Never been asked how much I earn.
When asked what do I do? I usually reply with a past time, biking, mountain climbing, writing poetry, etc.
Sometimes a woman will persist and ask 'No what do you do for a living'?
If this follow up question happens quickly I know so much about the woman already . ..Clearly she is more interested in my income and money (or at least in putting me into an income 'box') than in my hobbies..So if that is her game well..she will be rewarded with a good story. And you know the expression about not letting the truth get in the way of a good story.

However if conversation develops about the activities then it can get quite interesting.

But its my opinion that most women have placed you in some frame of reference within 60 seconds of meeting you... your shoes, haircut, watch, clothes, accent are among their mapping points. all very biased I know but there it is.

Wolfe Tone

Just say, 'Seen as I'm a man, more than you!'

newport2

Maguined wrote: »

I get asked by men as often as women "what do you work at" and I have never had a single man or woman ask me exactly how much.

Same as me, never encountered it. It's extremely ignorant to ask someone what they earn - as it is to volunteer information about yourself and how much you earn, which is something I've experienced more.

As regards "what do you do for a living?", an everyday question I'd often ask myself. The great thing is, I work in IT, so as soon as I answer this question, people's eyes glaze over and they change the subject

ToxicPaddy

newport2 wrote: »

The great thing is, I work in IT, so as soon as I answer this question, people's eyes glaze over and they change the subject

Ditto..

jokettle

What I find worse is the people who boast about how much they earn and then stare at you expectantly. There's one guy who talks about his income in this way constantly. I'm a postgrad student, which he knows (it's a friend of my boyfriend who does this), so I'm hardly raking it in! Plus an awful lot of our friends are students/unemployed/at entry-level or minimum wage positions, so it makes for very uncomfortable conversation.

Wolfe Tone

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Just say, 'Seen as I'm a man, more than you!'

Even better if they say "seeing as I'm a man..."
:pac:

jokettle wrote: »

What I find worse is the people who boast about how much they earn and then stare at you expectantly. There's one guy who talks about his income in this way constantly. I'm a postgrad student, which he knows (it's a friend of my boyfriend who does this), so I'm hardly raking it in! Plus an awful lot of our friends are students/unemployed/at entry-level or minimum wage positions, so it makes for very uncomfortable conversation.

Oh that's so stupid. Ask him why he can't buy any manners or cop on with all his money

jokettle

bluewolf wrote: »

Oh that's so stupid. Ask him why he can't buy any manners or cop on with all his money

I've been tempted, many times. It just wouldn't sink in though. Money doesn't buy you social etiquette, it seems.

Sky King

It does buy you lots of cool stuff though in fairness.

WeeBushy

I wouldn't have a problem with someone asking about my job. I mean its something you do for about 40 + hours a week so being interested in it isn't that weird imo. Unless of course its a snooping question trying to figure out how well off you are. But in general its just a conversational question along with 'what are your hobbies?' to me.

I don't care if people know how much I earn either, but asking it with a 'you earn loads, therefore I find you attractive' attitude is so stuck-up. In general I guess I would be taken aback if someone asked me how much I earn, but if there's a good reason for it then I don't care.

Guess the reason behind asking is what matters to me.

stovelid

Lie about salary.

Ride them once.

Dumpsville.

stovelid

Lie about salary.

Ride them once.

Dumpsville.

Howard the Duck

Been asked what i do for a living a lot by women, at first i used to think it meant they were shallow but i don't any more. A lot of people see this as a perfectly normal question to ask someone. I try never to ask this question myself but i'm sure i have.

Asking how much a person earns is very rude i think , I've only been asked this a few times and it's always been by friends, i just tell them i'd rather not say.
I think if i was out on a night out and a girl i was chatting to me asked me this then i'd probably end the conversation.

I think a worse question then how much you earn is "what car do you drive" that's kinda just a roundabout way of asking how much you earn i think.

Sky King

Not really, if you're into cars.

It depends I suppose.

Raekwon

stovelid wrote: »

Lie about salary.

Ride them once.

Dumpsville.

But what if they want to have a ride in the back of your Bentley or on the garden terrace of your penthouse apartment?

mikemac

Despite what people say, accountants are always the best craic :cool:

Princess Peach

I would never ask that. An ex tried to tell me once and I stopped him talking and told him I didn't want to know. At the time I was a student and knew it had to be a lot more than me in my part time crap job, didn't need him rubbing it in! I was a little afraid of what might possibly happen to me if I knew of all the things he could afford to buy me too :pac:

Only time I would ever ask is if I were living with him. Hopefully will move in with my boyfriend the year after next and I'll need to know then so we can decide what kind of place we can afford and for bills. But would never ask otherwise!

Eroticfishcake

Howard the Duck wrote: »

I think a worse question then how much you earn is "what car do you drive" that's kinda just a roundabout way of asking how much you earn i think.

I don't think any girl would be trying to figure out your salary by asking about your car. I would often ask people this and I have zero interest in how much they earn for a living.

Ectoplasm

ur mentor wrote: »

But its my opinion that most women have placed you in some frame of reference within 60 seconds of meeting you... your shoes, haircut, watch, clothes, accent are among their mapping points. all very biased I know but there it is.

Uh oh...I clearly fail at being a woman! Most mens shoes & haircuts look pretty similar to me, the only time I notice watches is when my brother (who is obsessed) waves his in front of my nose and as for clothes, well, I'm not a fashinista so as long as they're clean I'm happy.

Asking what someone earns is rude though and I can't see the motivation behind it at all. On the asking "what do you do?" front though, it's something I regularly ask people, moreso as I've gotten a bit older.

The reason for me asking is that generally, this is something that people spend a significant portion of their life doing and it interests me. Do they enjoy it, was it a childhood ambition, did they study for their job at college or change careers - all of this is interesting to me. I also love it when people are passionate about what they do for a living. It has absolutely nothing to do with income.

I have, on occasion, had some odd reactions to asking it, which actually kind of amuses me. The funny thing is, it has become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The guys who have reacted badly are those of the mindset that 'women are golddiggers' and by asking what they do, I simply confirm this for them - despite the income they derive from doing that job not even crossing my mind.

Really, it's not going to make much difference to me. My interest in a persons career has nothing to do with income - but if I accidentally offend someone by asking then, to be honest, they're unlikely to be the kind of person I'd spend time with anyway.

gargleblaster

Eroticfishcake wrote: »

I don't think any girl would be trying to figure out your salary by asking about your car. I would often ask people this and I have zero interest in how much they earn for a living.

I would ask to find out if they drove one of those big SUV's. If they did that'd be a deal breaker right there. Also I dig certain kinds of cars, as shallow as it may be. That's not to say I'd only be interested in them if they had a nice car, mind. And it can also be just something to talk about if you're both into cars or whatever.

Sugar Free

I'd echo many other posters by asking, where are these women you talk to?

Often asked what I do but I'd see that purely as a conversational question, unless I had good reason to think otherwise.

I've never been asked how much I make in that context. I'm mid twenties and only working full time a few years since university so maybe they assume it's not much

omahaid

If asked what I do I say "software engineer" - there are never follow on questions

Eric Cartman

ive been asked a handfull of times, always understate sallary to a huge extent , if they keep talking to me then ok it was just an odd question , if they walk away - just another gold digger not worth my time

FloatingVoter

Say you work in pharmaceuticals and sideline in the defense industry.

Seriously, it is a nuisance question and one that is commonly asked by those light of imagination. Treat it as a joke on a first encounter and hope the conversation picks up.

How much do you earn ? is a "nice meeting you, its not you, its your perfume" moment.



"

Irish_Elect_Eng

The "How much do you earn?" question is just an upgrade from the more traditional "How much land do you have?"

Chuck Stone

What I do is go to a foreign city and find a ordinary ol' job in, say, a fast food restaurant and try to meet suitable brides. Now I don't tell them that I'm a fabulously wealthy African prince...

oh wait...

that was a movie.

Nevermind.

I made the BBC

Irish_Elect_Eng wrote: »

The "How much do you earn?" question is just an upgrade from the more traditional "How much land do you have?"

Maybe they're working towards "do you have road frontage?" :pac:

Howard the Duck

Eroticfishcake wrote: »

I don't think any girl would be trying to figure out your salary by asking about your car. I would often ask people this and I have zero interest in how much they earn for a living.

Hmm ok maybe i'm being a bit harsh, but i mean when it's the second or third question i'm asked. If they are car enthusiasts then that's grand.

Rinker

Will wrote: »

Don't think I've ever been asked the question though, personally I couldn't care about my wages and wouldn't have a problem telling someone if they asked.

just out of interest, how much do you earn?

helimachoptor

Never been asked, but no problems discussing it with mates tbh were fairly open about that sort of stuff.

Malari

helimachoptor wrote: »

Never been asked, but no problems discussing it with mates tbh were fairly open about that sort of stuff.

Really? I find it never comes up among my friends and I don't know what most of them earn. Well, within a range. I know that some of them are in well-paid jobs and some are starting out on low-earning careers, but I could only guess ballpark. It's one of those taboo things you don't really ask people, I would have thought.

FloatingVoter

If you're making good money and in a respectable job, you're not going to mind the "what do you do" question (the "how much do you earn ?" is a sign of stupidity. Even gold-diggers know damn well not to go there)
However, plenty of perfectly nice people don't have a job to brag about. That's when it gets annoying and the temptation to lie comes in. BTW I am an astronaut.