Physical violence against men in the Irish media...

HellFireClub

I was watching Fair City the other day, and I couldn't help but notice a scene where a girl (Orla) wallops her fiance (Keith) or recently departed fiance, across the face in a cafe, to conclude some row she was having with him over something to do with an engagement ring.

The double standards of this I think are completely wrong in 2011.

I imagine there would be absolute uproar if a similar scene was broadcast but the set up was a guy walloping a girl across the face...

How is it that this mode of correction is still reserved as acceptable for women, yet if a man dared the same, he would be treated as an outcast, and rightly so???

Lon Dubh

In Fairness to Fair City, they do seem to have had a story line a few months ago where a man was being abused by his wife. (I only saw a few parts of episodes then, but this seems to have been the gist of it. I don't watch it normally so did not follow the storyline fully, but from the little I saw the man was being verbally and physically abused by his wife). But yeah it would be better if this sort of slapping thing you are describing was not depicted as normal.

Wibbs

The other "rule" is in mainstream hollywood. Man and woman sidekicks have to have a fight at the end and it's up against another man and woman. It nearly always happens that the women square up to the women and the men the same and the script can get bent outa shape to accommodate this. Though the women can have a go at punching the bloke*, but almost never ever the man punching the woman.


*and if they do they appear to have preternatural strength and often knock the bloke clean off his feet. Yea like angelina jolie, all 4 stone of her is gonna take out some muscle bound bloke with a right hook

Dravokivich

Its a show based on drama. whats the problem?

Bloody Nipples

I dunno would there be uproar if a man hitting a woman was depicted in a tv program. Like to demonstrate how villainous a character is or something.

Exhibit A:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr8Jw-VYflY

rusty_racer94

It's only fictional. Don't be too excited young soldier.
Don't forget that many TV programmes have shown voilence against women too.

WindSock

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

I dunno would there be uproar if a man hitting a woman was depicted in a tv program. Like to demonstrate how villainous a character is or something.

Exhibit A:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr8Jw-VYflY

Was there uproar over this scene in another Colin Farrell film?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8EGCC9NNvo

BUt yeah I agree with the op, I don't like seeing men getting slapped on tv as if is acceptable normal, angry scorned woman behaviour.

HellFireClub

rusty_racer94 wrote: »

It's only fictional. Don't be too excited young soldier.
Don't forget that many TV programmes have shown voilence against women too.

Yes but the context is always completely different. When a man is the offender, it is in the context of a messed up man protrayed as what he is, which is an abuser.

But when it is a woman giving a guy a slap to let off some steam, the context presented is that he was asking for it!

As for the point above about the storyline a few months back where a guy was on the receiving end of domestic abuse, this was different, this was an attempt to show how a guy can be a victim of domestic abuse as much as a woman can find herself in that situation.

But a casual slap, you don't see Fair City telling the lads on set to give a quick slap to the wife or the girlfriend if she has p*ssed him off, do ya?!?

Wolfe Tone

My first memory of seeing violence against women from men on the telly would have been the WWF. I remember watching this as a kid... (Stone Cold is actually a wife beater too)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TPtM5nvNtc

This was a long time ago in America, but the demographic would be teenagers.


Equal treatment eh? At the time I was pretty shocked.

Th two men were "baddies" in that video but I'm pretty sure a few times when a man attacked a woman in the WWF (who was a bitch) they got huge cheers.

(I know its not real or a soap, but seen as Wibbs mentioned Hollywood and action films, the same vein)

HellFireClub

WindSock wrote: »

Was there uproar over this scene in another Colin Farrell film?

But again its the context! He is being portrayed as a sc*mbag thief! In that context, he commits a violent robbery... Again, the matter isn't one of a slap in the face that is considered to be acceptable!

WindSock

HellFireClub wrote: »

But again its the context! He is being portrayed as a sc*mbag thief! In that context, he commits a violent robbery... Again, the matter isn't one of a slap in the face that is considered to be acceptable!

He is...also a loveable rogue. But I see what you are saying, I always remember this video. It's only seen as shocking when the man hits back...and he gets a hiding for it. Ok, his retaliation was a little harder than hers and not needed but he is right when he asks 'How can she slap, how can she slap..'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7lfVyyEI70

HellFireClub

WindSock wrote: »

He is...also a loveable rogue. But I see what you are saying, I always remember this video. It's only seen as shocking when the man hits back...and he gets a hiding for it. Ok, his retaliation was a little harder than hers and not needed but he is right when he asks 'How can she slap, how can she slap..'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7lfVyyEI70

This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

Jarren

Maybe there is something wrong with me but sort of like watching women kicking men asses on tv

a few examples of my female heroes:D







They could kick my my arse anytime:P


however



I wouldn't fancy getting my arse kicked by her:eek:

Miguel_Sanchez

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

I dunno would there be uproar if a man hitting a woman was depicted in a tv program. Like to demonstrate how villainous a character is or something.

Exhibit A:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr8Jw-VYflY

She swings a bottle at him first.

py2006

Unfortunately, this is always the case. It is something I have felt strongly about in the past.

Violence towards men in entertainment/advertising etc is seen as funny or warranted. It is often supported by other women who will side and cheer the female aggressor.

An example of this is a video I think my Pink or some similar artist were she is beating her husband who is tied to a chair. This is acceptable and seen as funny or whatever. However, a similar video showing man beating wife to entertain the fans wouldn't even get aired. I didn't see the video so perhaps somebody who did can comment on this.

Its the same as the when it comes to 'sexualisation'. Its seen as wrong to portray a women in a sexual light for advertising etc and you will here bands of women claiming how offended they are etc etc (I have my views on that but I won't go there)

Men are sexualised too but you don't hear these women complaining about it or men for that reason.

krudler

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

She swings a bottle at him first.

I'd have no problem decking a woman who was trying to bottle me either, self defence is self defence doesnt matter the gender of someone attacking you, if it was a choice of hitting a woman and breaking some social taboo or getting glassed in the face I'd knock her out if it came to it.

Wolfe Tone

krudler wrote: »

I'd have no problem decking a woman who was trying to bottle me either, self defence is self defence doesnt matter the gender of someone attacking you, if it was a choice of hitting a woman and breaking some social taboo or getting glassed in the face I'd knock her out if it came to it.

If you were out though the chances are if you hit a woman loads of lads will jump in and batter you, no matter what the woman did.

JamJamJamJam

WindSock wrote: »

He is...also a loveable rogue. But I see what you are saying, I always remember this video. It's only seen as shocking when the man hits back...and he gets a hiding for it. Ok, his retaliation was a little harder than hers and not needed but he is right when he asks 'How can she slap, how can she slap..'
[...]

Jeez, poor guy got a really unnecessary doing!

But I see where the idea stems from, because, of course, generally men are seen as bigger, more muscular and stronger things, while women are almost always seen as smaller and gentler beings.

I hope I'm not straying too far off topic here, but violence against anyone should be shown to be wrong. It's so barbaric and primitive. How we, surrounded by these incredible monuments of human advancement - iPods, satellites, the internet, the spire (:pac:) - continue to employ violence in an attempt to rationally solve anything is utterly beyond me...

Galvasean

WindSock wrote: »

she slap..'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7lfVyyEI70

I'd have loafed her one TBH, but then again I believe in equal rights among the sexes.
It's quite typical. Woman slaps man in face. Nobody bats an eyelid. He slaps her back, NOW he's gone too far!

SugarHigh

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

krudler wrote: »

I'd have no problem decking a woman who was trying to bottle me either, self defence is self defence doesnt matter the gender of someone attacking you, if it was a choice of hitting a woman and breaking some social taboo or getting glassed in the face I'd knock her out if it came to it.

If you were out though the chances are if you hit a woman loads of lads will jump in and batter you, no matter what the woman did.

+1 it's easy to talk sh1t on the Internet but in reality I can't imagine most people would hit a woman back.

But tbh that goes for hitting men back too. When it comes down to it a lot of people even when backed into a corner don't defend themselves despite what they like to think they'd do.

WindSock

Galvasean wrote: »

I'd have loafed her one TBH, but then again I believe in equal rights among the sexes.

Can't see how stitching a loaf to someone has much to do with equality. I could never do it to someone who is obviously weaker than me. Hitting someone back is not so much self defence as retaliation...if an elderly person slapped me for example, my first reaction would not be to hit them back, or headbutt them...

SugarHigh

WindSock wrote: »

Galvasean wrote: »

I'd have loafed her one TBH, but then again I believe in equal rights among the sexes.

Can't see how stitching a loaf to someone has much to do with equality. I could never do it to someone who is obviously weaker than me. Hitting someone back is not so much self defence as retaliation...if an elderly person slapped me for example, my first reaction would not be to hit them back, or headbutt them...

Hitting someone back is self defence because it prevents them from hitting. It's also possible to throw the first punch and it still be self defence.

If elderly person hits you and looks like try will again why shouldn't you hit them just because they are weaker? Maybe the fact they are weaker means they should have more sense about who they get unto fights with.

Galvasean

WindSock wrote: »

Can't see how stitching a loaf to someone has much to do with equality.

Because I would do the same whether it was a man or woman assaulting me.
Can't see how you seem to have missed such an obvious point.

WindSock

SugarHigh wrote: »

Hitting someone back is self defence because it prevents them from hitting. It's also possible to throw the first punch and it still be self defence.

If elderly person hits you and looks like try will again why shouldn't you hit them just because they are weaker? Maybe the fact they are weaker means they should have more sense about who they get unto fights with.

Hitting someone back usually leads to more fighting and point scoring, it should be a last resort in many cases, restraining should be the first if further attacks ensue, and if possible. As for a slap on the face, I can't see how headbutting someone back for it is a reasonable reaction, be they male or female.

Galvasean wrote: »

Because I would do the same whether it was a man or woman assaulting me.
Can't see how you seem to have missed such an obvious point.

Didn't miss your point, I just don't agree that that is what equality is.
I think it is disgraceful that some women think they can get away with hitting men, but I also think seeing it as a green light **** up someone who is obviously weaker is a bit sad too.

Logical Fallacy

LF's rules to physical confrontation.

1) Only slap/punch or kick someone if it is your intention to start a fight.

2) Don't start a fight with people who are physical stronger than you if you are not up to taking them on.

3) IF you throw a slap/punch or kick expect one in return via direct mail.

4) If you get your ass beat, deal with it.

I think males or females can apply those rules quite easily and live very happy, non violent lives.

Galvasean

WindSock wrote: »

Didn't miss your point, I just don't agree that that is what equality is.
I think it is disgraceful that some women think they can get away with hitting men, but I also think seeing it as a green light **** up someone who is obviously weaker is a bit sad too.

Who says a woman is obviously weaker? Not that someone needs to be particularly strong to mess you up something awful if you don't defend yourself. a headbutt might seem barbaric to you, but it usually stuns a person enough to at the very least buy you enough time to step back from them and avoid receiving more blows. Bear in mind I have no particular training in disarming/disabling assailants so sometimes the most simplistic/primitive move works best.

WindSock

Galvasean wrote: »

Who says a woman is obviously weaker? Not that someone needs to be particularly strong to mess you up something awful if you don't defend yourself. a headbutt might seem barbaric to you, but it usually stuns a person enough to at the very least buy you enough time to step back from them and avoid receiving more blows. Bear in mind I have no particular training in disarming/disabling assailants so sometimes the most simplistic/primitive move works best.

I am not saying the woman is always weaker, they generally are and can't take a hit as easily as man, same with a small and skinny man too like a junky... obviously being threatened with a needle/knife/bottle is a different kettle of fish, then headbutt and stomp away imo, but a slap on the face is not what I would call a major threat. At most it is a blow to the ego and leaves a sting on the cheek.

BrianD3

One example that immediately comes to mind is not a tv programme but an ad for a mobile phone network; "Carla the blonde, the intern Carla"

Not only is the man slapped in the face but the woman also displays aggressive "posturing" before the slap. Having been on the receiving end of this sort of thing from women after tiny misdemeanors on my part, this sort of behaviour is unfortunately quite familiar.

Have also had women punch me in the arm and chest and had one stamp hard on my foot (didn't really hurt as she was wearing flat shoes) I find it's an instinctive reaction to laugh it off, pretend you didn't feel it at all and not make a fuss. I know from talking to people that if a man made a fuss after being hit like this he'd be seen as humourless, cantankerous, a pansy etc.

Galvasean

WindSock wrote: »

I am not saying the woman is always weaker, they generally are and can't take a hit as easily as man, same with a small and skinny man too like a junky... obviously being threatened with a needle/knife/bottle is a different kettle of fish, then headbutt and stomp away imo, but a slap on the face is not what I would call a major threat. At most it is a blow to the ego and leaves a sting on the cheek.

Cry me a river. If people don't want to be hit back then they have no business hitting others in the first place. when someone hits you your instinctive reaction is to strike back hard so they won't do it again.
I think certain women take advantage of the social conditioning that men can't hit women as it's seen as taboo and think they can get away with it.

desertcircus

I wouldn't be pleased if my girlfriend slapped me across the face. But I'd want to be high as a kite to think it'd be as wrong as me punching her. She's five feet tall and seven stone. I'm nearly a foot taller and more than twice her weight. It's abundantly obvious to all involved that her slapping me is going to cause a momentary sting and a red cheek. Me punching her could easily leave her in hospital.

Slapping your boyfriend isn't cool, but let's not pretend it's the same thing as punching your girlfriend. In 99+% of cases, a male partner will cause far more damage.

Logical Fallacy

desertcircus wrote: »

In 99+% of cases, a male partner will cause far more damage.

Generally speaking, people hitting their partner has very little to do with causing damage and everything to do with asserting dominance. It's similar to rape being more about control than it is about sex.

Here's the crux of it....someone who would hit their partner who is physically smaller and weaker than them is a ****ing scumbag.

Someone who would hit their partner from the safety point of a perceived societal defence (that is to say, their partner is bigger and stronger than them) is a ****ing scumbag.

There is no difference between the two for me. People talking about a stinging cheek and a ****ing damaged ego? No offense to Windsock, i normally see you speaking a lot of sense but whether you realise it or not that is pretty much a prime example of the difference in the perception of the assault by males of females and vice versa.

It's not a damaged ego, it's a betrayal of trust and an assault. Not trying to be argumentative, and definitely not trying to put words in your mouth...i just find it funny than in a thread about the perception of violence towards males the usage of words is still implying....ah **** it, he'll get over it.

Maybe i'm wrong, so once again, no offence. Just wondering if that particular combination of words would appear in a thread about male on female violence.

I've been in an abusive relationship in the past...a hurt ego has **** all to do with anything.

Galvasean

Didn't you know? Men are supposed to be big tough neanderthals (not ragging on the neanderthals before Wibbs steps in to defend their honor!) who don't feel girly 'emotional pain'. We just take it on the chin and 'man up'.

SugarHigh

Galvasean wrote: »

Didn't you know? Men are supposed to be big tough neanderthals (not ragging on the neanderthals before Wibbs steps in to defend their honor!) who don't feel girly 'emotional pain'. We just take it on the chin and 'man up'.

I think windsocks comments is just a case of watching too much tv where violence is throw away and little emotional impact is shown. Anyone who really thinks getting assaulted is just a sore cheek and bruised ego obviously has no experience of violence and is completely out of their depth in this conversation.

The same thing was posted in the other thread about a guy being tortured as if being assaulted is just a mild nuisance of having a black eye. There really is a wide spread view that men are completely emotionless to violence and I think it has a lot to do with TV.

But then again you look at how soldiers who came back from world wars were just supposed to suck it up and get over it.

WindSock

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

There is no difference between the two for me. People talking about a stinging cheek and a ****ing damaged ego? No offense to Windsock, i normally see you speaking a lot of sense but whether you realise it or not that is pretty much a prime example of the difference in the perception of the assault by males of females and vice versa.

It's not a damaged ego, it's a betrayal of trust and an assault. Not trying to be argumentative, and definitely not trying to put words in your mouth...i just find it funny than in a thread about the perception of violence towards males the usage of words is still implying....ah **** it, he'll get over it.

Maybe i'm wrong, so once again, no offence. Just wondering if that particular combination of words would appear in a thread about male on female violence.

I've been in an abusive relationship in the past...a hurt ego has **** all to do with anything.

No, I know my comments might look like I am brushing off f to m violence, but really, I amn't and anyone who knows me knows I take violent abuse against men seriously.

I am not talking about an abusive situation, in a relationship where there's power and control over a partner via psychological, physical and emotional tactics are used.

I think it is mostly a hypothetical 'on any weekend night out' situation here that is mostly being used as examples in the thread. What goes on in a relationship between two people who are supposed to love and trust each other is different.

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think windsocks comments is just a case of watching too much tv where violence is throw away and little emotional impact is shown. Anyone who really thinks getting assaulted is just a sore cheek and bruised ego obviously has no experience of violence and is completely out of their depth in this conversation.

Sorry but do I have to list my experiences with physical violence to qualify for posting on this thread?

Ok, one of the times I got a punch in the face from another girl in a local pub. I had a sore chin and felt humiliated...not to mention people (mostly guys) were jeering 'fight, fight, fight' and laughing as it happened. How else should I have felt? Should I have headbutted her back?

Other times were different situations and far different things were going on so I experienced different emotions, with different impacts. I really don't think I should have to list them here so I display that I am not talking through my hole. The above example is enough to illustrate my previous point.

Headbutting or retaliating in kind after being slapped by a woman is very ungentlemanly behaviour.

Extenuating circumstances, like a frenzied or sustained attack would be a different matter as it would be in self-defense but a bout of Irish Stand-down with a girl isn't something I'd care to enter into myself.

Whatever the reasons for someone hitting you, just remember, as Charlie Brown or something once said: violence only begets violence.

Standman

If it happens in a public place you're likely to get the sh*t kicked out of you by other men. If you defended yourself against your girlfriend you'd be pretty much branded a wife beater.

It's got less to do with strength and more to do with gender. Have people never seen a skinny looking guy getting in a fight with a bigger looking fella on a night out or whatever? Do you see people enthusiastically dropping everything to go and save the poor skinny lad and beat the crap out of the bigger guy? No you don't.

If a man were to even restrain a woman either in self defence or to stop her from hitting someone else, he runs the serious risk of getting beaten up himself.

Otis Driftwood

Ive never been hit by a woman,not even close.If the day ever comes then then Id be fairly confident that Id be strong enough to defend myself*


*by that I mean I wouldnt have to resort to "knocking her out":rolleyes:

It doesnt matter what the context is but hitting a woman does not sit well with me.Most blokes would be able to over power most woman without having to resort to that.It was mentioned somewhere else on thread in the context of hitting someone that you are physically stronger than,I would view raising my hand to a bloke that is physically weaker than me in exactly the same way.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Women should not use their sex to their advantage and to aid them being a scumbag.

A few years back, a male friend of my brother got attacked by two female scumbags. My brother asked the obvious question of why didn't he defend himself. He said he couldn't hit a woman.

My brother and I came to the conclusion that if we were in that situation we would have no problem throwing one or two good punches to get them to back down. Not beat them senseless, just enough to leave them know we weren't push arounds.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Actually I remember a time when a bunch of teenage, female scumbags tried to publicly humiliate me.

I was in a McDonald's sitting alone eating upstairs and browsing some websites on my phone when some teenage girls saw two tables away from me. They seemed like real trouble makers but I took no notice.

All of a sudden they started throwing a chip or two at me. I let the first one or two go, but then they started laughing at me and flung more food and containers at me.

Enough was enough says I and I threw my tray at them, told them they were nothing but scum and to f**k off, and said if they tried it again I would put them out the window. Cue complete silence by everyone on the floor and the scumbags left straight away.

I followed this up by a formal complaint to McDonald's.

I wasn't going to allow myself be treated as a doormat and less than human by anyone, regardless of gender.

Maguined

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Ive never been hit by a woman,not even close.If the day ever comes then then Id be fairly confident that Id be strong enough to defend myself*


*by that I mean I wouldnt have to resort to "knocking her out":rolleyes:

It doesnt matter what the context is but hitting a woman does not sit well with me.Most blokes would be able to over power most woman without having to resort to that.It was mentioned somewhere else on thread in the context of hitting someone that you are physically stronger than,I would view raising my hand to a bloke that is physically weaker than me in exactly the same way.

Would you feel the same abhorrence to hitting a much physically weaker man that attacked you though? would you feel the same urge to try and restrain them without hitting them like you would with a woman? or would you just punch them because they started it with you?

Genuinely interested would you feel the same way if it was a physically weaker man attacking you.

Even if you do try and overpower and restrain a woman attacking you this alone is easily seen as you being a brute and attacking a woman. I have seen it a couple of times on a night out where a woman attacks a man, the man tries to defend himself by holding her wrists so she cant him him any more and other men step in to attack the man to "defend" the woman being restrained.

goose2005

desertcircus wrote: »

Slapping your boyfriend isn't cool, but let's not pretend it's the same thing as punching your girlfriend. In 99+% of cases, a male partner will cause far more damage.

So it's OK to hit your partner, so long as you don't do any damage. Soap in a sock OK?

Also, I hated that "Carla? The blonde?" ad as well.

py2006

I recall a discussion I got involved in. I was the only man. They started talking about physical violence towards women. I was even asked directly would I beat up a woman. :rolleyes:

When I raised the issue of physical violence towards men, I was laughed at. 'It doesn't hurt men and they will get over it'. 'Men can protect themselves and woman can't' were the responses.

py2006

In work and in front of many people a female colleague thumped me so hard in the arm (playfully) that I seriously thought she had done damage. My face went red and I had to grit my teeth and pretend I felt nothing.

It was all done in jest and she was completely unaware that she really hurt me. Obviously I wouldn't hit her back and even if I did in equal measure I probably would have been fired.

It was interesting that 2 men approached me afterwards suggesting that I should not let her away with that. (non violently of course)

BrianD3

Just on the "heroes" who'll jump in to beat you up if you defend yourself from a female - when I was in my leaving cert year I got into an argument with a girl over something really stupid - I was occupying "her" seat on a bus :rolleyes: She was 100% in the wrong and when I say argument it'd be more accurate to say that she was screeching her head off at me calling me an ugly c*nt and queer etc.

I stood my ground but then a couple of heroes decided to intervene and threatened to beat me up if I didn't give up the seat. I continued to stand my ground and they were obviously more mouth than balls as they backed off without doing anything. But still, I thought it was utterly pathetic that they assumed I needed a beating because a female was screaming at me - and this was a purely verbal situation.

Galvasean

BrianD3 wrote: »

Just on the "heroes" who'll jump in to beat you up if you defend yourself from a female - when I was in my leaving cert year I got into an argument with a girl over something really stupid - I was occupying "her" seat on a bus :rolleyes: She was 100% in the wrong and when I say argument it'd be more accurate to say that she was screeching her head off at me calling me an ugly c*nt and queer etc.

I stood my ground but then a couple of heroes decided to intervene and threatened to beat me up if I didn't give up the seat. I continued to stand my ground and they were obviously more mouth than balls as they backed off without doing anything. But still, I thought it was utterly pathetic that they assumed I needed a beating because a female was screaming at me - and this was a purely verbal situation.

You'll find these 'have a go heroes' only side with the woman in the hope that she will reciprocate with sex. They aren't gents.

HellFireClub

Deleted User wrote: »

Headbutting or retaliating in kind after being slapped by a woman is very ungentlemanly behaviour.

I agree, but equally I think a woman raising her hand and walloping a man on the face, or anywhere for that matter, is the sign of an absolute slag.

Same for throwing a drink over a guy if you want to make a point, I saw it happening a mate of mine once, (along with the mandatory wallop on the face), and the assumption on the part of others seemed to be that he had somehow asked for it or had been caught cheating, when the actual offence he committed was coming down to the pub without informing her of his plans, but everyone assumed that he had been caught with another woman or something.

Even if he had been caught with someone else, dump him and get on with your life. Why make yourself look like a tramp by using physical violence?

gargleblaster

I agree with HFC (excepting terminology), using physical violence like that is just scumbag behavior, full stop.

Portraying it as jokey and humorous in the media is not helpful and definitely backs up the double standard, and most likely gives less thoughtful people the idea that it's perfectly acceptable.

Otis Driftwood

Maguined wrote: »

Would you feel the same abhorrence to hitting a much physically weaker man that attacked you though? would you feel the same urge to try and restrain them without hitting them like you would with a woman? or would you just punch them because they started it with you?

Genuinely interested would you feel the same way if it was a physically weaker man attacking you.

Even if you do try and overpower and restrain a woman attacking you this alone is easily seen as you being a brute and attacking a woman. I have seen it a couple of times on a night out where a woman attacks a man, the man tries to defend himself by holding her wrists so she cant him him any more and other men step in to attack the man to "defend" the woman being restrained.

Yep.

Im not a violent person,at all.Im lucky in that Ive only been in 2 physical altercations in my life,both of which were because my brother was being a dick.They ended up with a few slaps being thrown either side and both parties copping on before it got too hairy.

Any other (very rare) time someone has started getting lairy Ive been able to talk the other person down by not getting angry.

People might think thats the pussy option but I dont give a bollix.

Say I punch someone,male or female,and I get a lucky shot in and they end up being knocked out.Say this person collapses and smashes their head off a table or the ground and ends up in a coma or worse still,dead.

What do you do then?

Man slaughter charge (at best) and your life fúcked,ya,thats well worth punching someone for.

That possible outcome when punching someone you out weigh by 50 or 60 lbs increases exponentially.

So yes,I would have the same abhorrence to punching anyone,never mind someone that Im much physically stronger than/bigger than etc.

donfers

Galvasean wrote: »

You'll find these 'have a go heroes' only side with the woman in the hope that she will reciprocate with sex. They aren't gents.

exactly

most of those white knighters make me want to puke and I strongly question their motives

you'd never know it from my posting style but I can be quite opinionated at times and I have had my fair share of violent altercations, usually on nights out and none in the last year or two so I am improving.......but what enrages me more than anything is when there is a dispute and someone comes along who has no idea of the rights and wrongs of the dispute and just intervenes suddenly, jumping to the defense of whichever party is likely to enable them to look more chivalrous/macho/alpha male or whatever other bollox gets them off......this kind of person is usually the one that drives me over the edge and leads to things getting physical whereas previously I would have only been having an argument with somebody, they make the assumption that I am the evil aggressor (purely because I might be bigger or male or not have as soft a voice as the other or be dressed differently or whatever measurements they use to align themselves to the forces of good) so I reciprocate and make the assumption that they're an utter cretin and then there's a problem

Bouncers are usually terribly guilty of this, however in recent times I have noticed they are improving, police are also bad for it at least in the initial stages but then the evidence piles up and it is apparent their initial assumptions were typically moronic....the sad thing about all of this is that there will be times when the guy who appears stronger, angrier and more aggressive is the evil one but all the white knighter cases will lead to me not intervening in those cases unless the evidence is absolutely blatant

my advice to anyone who wants to appear to be noble and wants their intervention to reflect well upon them (and more importantly wants to do the right thing) is not to make any instant stereotypical assumptions about who is the goodie and the baddies and instead to just treat both parties equally and break up the dispute (if you can't help yourself from getting involved), just break it up, simple really and you still have your white knighter glow and the girl in the corner might still be impressed enough to go home with you

Wibbs

donfers wrote: »

my advice to anyone who wants to appear to be noble and wants their intervention to reflect well upon them (and more importantly wants to do the right thing) is not to make any instant stereotypical assumptions about who is the goodie and the baddies and instead to just treat both parties equally and break up the dispute (if you can't help yourself from getting involved), just break it up, simple really and you still have your white knighter glow and the girl in the corner might still be impressed enough to go home with you

+1 and there are usually way more options to cooling down a situation than coming across all fisty and macho.

Galvasean

Galvasean wrote: »

You'll find these 'have a go heroes' only side with the woman in the hope that she will reciprocate with sex. They aren't gents.

Have to say I found this statement ridiculous.