Dry Spell

beano345

Partizan wrote: »

This one is for you mate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p13iQ9DLGE

i was thinking more this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qip0xbjr0aA

its about an indian reservation in canada where theres more men than women so the ones that dont have girlfriends drink this cheap ass wine called cracklin rosie! hope the same doesnt happen in ireland:D

Phat Cat

beano345 wrote: »

unfortunately thats the way things are going:mad: im 32 now for the sake of having children i have to leave here:D i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads and in a few years they will be just oul lads sitting at a bar wondering were it all went wrong.i dont want to be in that position

Wow! When you put it like that it really seems very depressing indeed :mad:

beks101

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

Poor Craythur

beks101 wrote: »

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

+1000

beano345

beks101 wrote: »

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

funny i always described ireland as one big small town! i never ended up with girls from my town it was always the next town to us maybe its just because we grew up looking at each other.i agree with the sense of liberation and lack of inhibitions when abroad people probably pick up on that too.i tend to be a lot more guarded here. so canadas good eh?:D cant wait

Poor Craythur

beano345 wrote: »

funny i always described ireland as one big small town! i never ended up with girls from my town it was always the next town to us maybe its just because we grew up looking at each other.i agree with the sense of liberation and lack of inhibitions when abroad people probably pick up on that too.i tend to be a lot more guarded here. so canadas good eh?:D cant wait

Yeah, well it was a nightmare contemplating losing your virginity as a teenager in a small town. My friends and I used to fret about it a lot in school. On the one hand, we wanted to just do it, get it out the way, on the other, we knew there was a high chance we'd be labelled as "easy" throughout the school and town if we did. :rolleyes:

parker kent

How much of the success abroad stuff is just the "otherness" Irish have? Our accents are always a big hit and we are just different to the locals. Plus Irish girls are attractive, not a big shock that you'll be popular in other countries, especially when you stand out from the locals. No different to Polish girls in Ireland for example. I wonder what experiences do people from other countries have in Ireland? Does being the "other" work for them here?

Or do we just undergo a psychological change in a different country? Less inhibited because everything is bigger and people don't care. A bit like when people from outside Dublin move their for college? I know I "got around" a lot more when I loved to UCD.

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

How much of the success abroad stuff is just the "otherness" Irish have? Our accents are always a big hit and we are just different to the locals.

Heh, parker, my last boyfriend was British (met him when I lived there) and he didn't really like my accent because he though it more resembled Mrs. Doyle than Dervla Kirwan! So I smiled when I read this.

parker kent wrote: »

Or do we just undergo a psychological change in a different country? Less inhibited because everything is bigger and people don't care. A bit like when people from outside Dublin move their for college? I know I "got around" a lot more when I loved to UCD.

Less inhibitions, for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. More of a "Sure, fúck it, why not?" attitude.

stupidusername

beano345 wrote: »

i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads...

Send em this way... :pac:

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Heh, parker, my last boyfriend was British (meet him when I lived there) and he didn't really like my accent because he though it more resembled Mrs. Doyle than Dervla Kirwan! So I smiled when I read this.

Less inhibitions, for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. More of a "Sure, fúck it, why not?" attitude.

Well my accent is always a big hit :pac: Maybe it is male Irish accents that are preferred? I've been given the "I love that accent" line a fair bit by Americans, Canadians, British, Polish etc. Or maybe the Wicklow Hills produce an unmatched lilt? :pac:

Yeah less inhibitions, less worrying about Mary down the road telling Tom what you were up to on Friday night. A bit like wearing a bikini at the beach in Ireland...what would the neighbours say?!

Note: I don't wear bikinis at the beach :P

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

A bit like wearing a bikini at the beach in Ireland...what would the neighbours say?!

Note: I don't wear bikinis at the beach :P

I would SO wear a bikini at a beach in Ireland. Fúck them!

coffee_cake

parker kent wrote: »

Note: I don't wear bikinis at the beach :P

I'd probably not wear one due to our weather more than anything else!!

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

I would SO wear a bikini at a beach in Ireland. Fúck them!

I admire girls who do. And not just in my Calvin Harris way!

That being said, my twins are in my pants not on my chest, so think I'll avoid bikinis for the time being

Raekwon

stupidusername wrote: »

Send em this way... :pac:

You would be wasting their time because they wouldn't know how to make you happy and would think it was all about them :pac:

Wibbs

Raekwon wrote: »

He's dead right though.

IMO the dating scene in Ireland is like going for a job interview in Google.

That might seem like a strange comparison, but for anyone that has gone through that process and experienced the Irish dating scene from a male perspective, they will tell you that the two are very similar

Funny I've not come across this that much. Well not so much if it's just a legover(tm) you're after. If you're looking for something more meaningful I can imagine it's more difficult alright. It's rare I have been looking for that so maybe my experience is different? Actually I know it is.

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Relationships are hard to get in general in this country and this goes for women too. Women can get laid easier, sure, but relationships are a lot more tricky to find. I don't know why really. Reckon we've all just outgrown this rocky, windswept outcrop we call home. :pac:

I've said it before and I'll say it again ... Irish women are cool, Irish men are cool. Just not so much to or for each other. We often rub each other up the wrong way. Well when it gets sexual anyway. I've really good Irish women mates, but no way would I go out with them(and vice versa no doubt). They're great people, but if my willie got added to the mix? God no. Ive seen how they act with their boyfriends. Hence I've not gone out with an Irish woman long term since the mid 90's and Irish women for their part are deliriously happy at my decision...

beano345 wrote: »

unfortunately thats the way things are going:mad: im 32 now for the sake of having children i have to leave here:D i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads and in a few years they will be just oul lads sitting at a bar wondering were it all went wrong.i dont want to be in that position

If you want kids yea I can see where you're going with that TBH. I've got 10 years on you and I know men like how you describe. Good stable guys with lots to offer(or had) and now they've nada. Why? Lotsa reasons. Primarily often their own inaction. They were life's wallflowers. Women have more choice now, so just standing by doesn't cut it anymore. IME fewer men get the most action these days. Secondly the women being as Raekwon said job interview time. Now getting the end away fine, but long termer? They're often checking the guys seed breed and generation two dates in.

On both sides, but I have to say more on the ladies side, there can be an overweening sense of entitlement. Of the foreign women I've been around in general the Irish woman is up near the top(with Americans, Chinese and some Bourgeois French beyond their rebellion stage ) on this score. Now Irish men aren't far behind. You see a bloke who could be an extra in a traveling freak show movie crossed with overeaters anonymous and he's turning down women that don't come up to his standard.

So if ya can't find local love, go foreign folks. Good for the DNA to boot.

OT dry spell? well over 18 months a few years back. I go through phases of not being pushed on "gettin it" so not always a trial, but yea sometimes I was chewing the furniture...

beks101

parker kent wrote: »

How much of the success abroad stuff is just the "otherness" Irish have? Our accents are always a big hit and we are just different to the locals. Plus Irish girls are attractive, not a big shock that you'll be popular in other countries, especially when you stand out from the locals. No different to Polish girls in Ireland for example. I wonder what experiences do people from other countries have in Ireland? Does being the "other" work for them here?

Or do we just undergo a psychological change in a different country? Less inhibited because everything is bigger and people don't care. A bit like when people from outside Dublin move their for college? I know I "got around" a lot more when I loved to UCD.

Some from column A, some from column B, at least in my experience.

The accent is a big plus though, that's for sure, for both men and women...to be honest I'm so used to the neutral Canadian tone at this point that an Irish accent is becoming more of an aphrodiasiac even to me! There's just something so expressive and impassioned about the way we speak...:o

It's definitely been a factor with the guys I've been with and you have that level of unfamiliarity and 'exoticness' with guys here that you don't get at home, by virtue of everyone being from the same country.

I think the removal of those negative stereotypes has probably been the biggest factor though. As we all know, we love to b1tch and moan about the opposite sex, Irish girls are b1tches, Irish guys don't approach, yadda yadda ya...it's been both enlightening and interesting to see that that's not necessarily an Irish thing, other countries love to stereotype their 'men' or 'women' too and the fact that I'm not Canadian I think has represented a breath of fresh air to some of the guys I've dated since coming here. It's also a sort of tick-the-box thing for some of them...'been with an Irish girl...check..'. Which is perfectly fine with me!

parker kent

beks101 wrote: »

As we all know, we love to b1tch and moan about the opposite sex, Irish girls are b1tches, Irish guys don't approach, yadda yadda ya...it's been both enlightening and interesting to see that that's not necessarily an Irish thing, other countries love to stereotype their 'men' or 'women' too and the fact that I'm not Canadian I think has represented a breath of fresh air to some of the guys I've dated since coming here. It's also a sort of tick-the-box thing for some of them...'been with an Irish girl...check..'. Which is perfectly fine with me!

This is a good point. Too many people throw out lines about Irish men and Irish women as if we are some alien species different to every other nation.

beano345

If you want kids yea I can see where you're going with that TBH. I've got 10 years on you and I know men like how you describe. Good stable guys with lots to offer(or had) and now they've nada. Why? Lotsa reasons. Primarily often their own inaction. They were life's wallflowers. Women have more choice now, so just standing by doesn't cut it anymore. IME fewer men get the most action these days. Secondly the women being as Raekwon said job interview time. Now getting the end away fine, but long termer? They're often checking the guys seed breed and generation two dates in.

tbh i think people like that become disillusioned after a while ,and i dont think its a bitterness thing more realistic thinking that if they put themselves out there they more than likely they will be cut down again and again maybe its a self-preservation thing or just getting older and wiser but alot of men my age are starting to feel the same the "why bother attitude" then if you happen to end up in a relationship with women like this were does the testing end.if you get tested today and you respond a certain way, being a human being, tommorow you could respond totally differently

Dr Galen

I've been married about 2 and a half years now, so all in all my dry spell started about emmmm 2 years ago

Seriously though, it can be quite a difficult thing to keep the rabbit-like sex life going once you get married and a bit more settled. Effort on both sides is required tbh.

Before I met Mrs DrG, longest dry spell was around 4 months. I totally admit I'm no male model, and have never been, in my experience, its all about confidence. Not in a pick up artist, sleazey way, but just having some confidence in yourself and be happy in your own skin. Easier said than done of course, but once you get there, then lots of things in life become easier, getting laid being one!

magneticimpulse

I just finished a 2 year dry spell last week...thou i'll prob go again for a similar dry spell again. Reason being the guy (English) in question already has a girlfriend. (yeah drunken one off with one of my best friends, but when its offered to you on a plate after 2 years of nothing it was hard to turn down).

Personally I tried to get with an Irish Single guy, but as discussed in this forum before, it was so complicated. I think I was extremely looking for some action and there just wasnt any offerings. I found comfort in explaining this to my guy friend...however it sort of backfired and he said he got turned on by me chatting about how much I wanted things to work out with the Irish guy etc etc.

I think being in the UK definitely works alot easier then in Ireland. After spending 4 years in France...I got with a few Scottish, Irish and now English guys. Never been with a French guy. The "Irish" accent definitely seems to work a treat with English guys. I found myself pulling extremely hot guys in England, which I would never have a chance with in Ireland.

Oh and when I did live in Ireland I was a virgin...I think I still could be if I had of stayed there. Its so painful to meet a guy in Ireland.

Otis Driftwood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I just finished a 2 year dry spell last week...thou i'll prob go again for a similar dry spell again. Reason being the guy (English) in question already has a girlfriend. (yeah drunken one off with one of my best friends, but when its offered to you on a plate after 2 years of nothing it was hard to turn down).

Personally I tried to get with an Irish Single guy, but as discussed in this forum before, it was so complicated. I think I was extremely looking for some action and there just wasnt any offerings. I found comfort in explaining this to my guy friend...however it sort of backfired and he said he got turned on by me chatting about how much I wanted things to work out with the Irish guy etc etc.

I think being in the UK definitely works alot easier then in Ireland. After spending 4 years in France...I got with a few Scottish, Irish and now English guys. Never been with a French guy. The "Irish" accent definitely seems to work a treat with English guys. I found myself pulling extremely hot guys in England, which I would never have a chance with in Ireland.

Oh and when I did live in Ireland I was a virgin...I think I still could be if I had of stayed there. Its so painful to meet a guy in Ireland.

Exaggerate much?:rolleyes:

Raekwon

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I just finished a 2 year dry spell last week...thou i'll prob go again for a similar dry spell again. Reason being the girl (English) in question already has a boyfriend. (yeah drunken one off with one of my best friends, but when its offered to you on a plate after 2 years of nothing it was hard to turn down).

Personally I tried to get with an Irish Single girl, but as discussed in this forum before, it was so complicated. I think I was extremely looking for some action and there just wasnt any offerings. I found comfort in explaining this to my girl friend...however it sort of backfired and she said she got turned on by me chatting about how much I wanted things to work out with the Irish girl etc etc.

I think being in the UK definitely works alot easier then in Ireland. After spending 4 years in France...I got with a few Scottish, Irish and now English girls. Never been with a French girl. The "Irish" accent definitely seems to work a treat with English girls. I found myself pulling extremely hot girls in England, which I would never have a chance with in Ireland.

Oh and when I did live in Ireland I was a virgin...I think I still could be if I had of stayed there. Its so painful to meet a girl in Ireland.

FYP, it sounds much more plausible now :pac:

stupidusername

Raekwon wrote: »

You would be wasting their time because they wouldn't know how to make you happy and would think it was all about them :pac:

If someones up for learning,i'm up for teaching

Poor Craythur

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Exaggerate much?:rolleyes:

OK, she's exaggerating with regards to casual sex but relationships? Pretty tricky to find! Generally men I find myself interested in are one of three things:

a) not interested in me (this one is fair enough)
b) spoken for (also fair enough though can be frustrating)
c) hung up on someone else

There's not much one can do about a) and b) but c) is the frustrating one.

BraziliaNZ

Wibbs wrote: »

I've said it before and I'll say it again ... Irish women are cool, Irish men are cool. Just not so much to or for each other. We often rub each other up the wrong way. Well when it gets sexual anyway. I've really good Irish women mates, but no way would I go out with them(and vice versa no doubt). They're great people, but if my willie got added to the mix? God no. Ive seen how they act with their boyfriends. Hence I've not gone out with an Irish woman long term since the mid 90's and Irish women for their part are deliriously happy at my decision...

Ok seriously Wibbs you're often on this website going on about how Irish women are not for you etc. Would you not take a look around and see that the island is actually populated with Irish people with Irish parents? Irish people have been copulating with each other for 1000s of years! Maybe you're the one with the problem, and not Irish women?

parker kent

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Irish people have been copulating with each other for 1000s of years!

+1 I'm not a fan of the "Irish girls/men are terrible, the problem is everybody else except me" type threads. I freely admit there are difficulties dating in Ireland. I'm in a dating lull myself. But that is down to my current circumstances more than anything else. There are more than enough suitable men and women for everybody in Ireland. It just takes luck, effort and confidence to meet the right person.

I get annoyed at the Irish men/women are awful type stuff. For starters, I'm an Irish man who thinks I'm at least semi-decent and would be good in a relationship. There are plenty of others like me. Ditto girls. There are plenty of girls out there that are perfectly fine to date.

We can go through dry spells and there are valid reasons beyond our control for that. But it is not as if there are not literally hundreds of thousands of relationships in Ireland between 2 Irish people. They can and do happen and Irish men and women are not aliens landed from Mars. We have the same positive and negative traits as all other men and women.

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

c) hung up on someone else

There's not much one can do about a) and b) but c) is the frustrating one.

Try and make them hung up on you! Use your feminine charms. Make them laugh, make them horny, make them tea...whatever!

Otis Driftwood

Poor Craythur wrote: »

OK, she's exaggerating with regards to casual sex but relationships?

The exaggeration that Irish men are somehow not as good as English or Scottish blokes or that they make better relationship material than us is frankly preposterous.

She has said herself that she has lived outside of Ireland over the last number of years so how could she be possibly able to make an assertation like that?

Thats where the exaggeration is.

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

Try and make them hung up on you! Use your feminine charms. Make them laugh, make them horny, make them tea...whatever!

I try... :D

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

The exaggeration that Irish men are somehow not as good as English or Scottish blokes or that they make better relationship material than us is frankly preposterous.

She has said herself that she has lived outside of Ireland over the last number of years so how could she be possibly able to make an assertation like that?

Thats where the exaggeration is.

Fair nuff!

parker kent

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

The exaggeration that Irish men are somehow not as good as English or Scottish blokes or that they make better relationship material than us is frankly preposterous.

She has said herself that she has lived outside of Ireland over the last number of years so how could she be possibly able to make an assertation like that?

Thats where the exaggeration is.

I don't think anybody can say that magnetic can't have a personal taste in men. But I agree big time that it is way OTT to cast aside all Irish men on the basis of a few men.