Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

thecatspjs · 12-01-2014 7:45pm

#‎Lads‬ ‪#‎nightsout‬ ‪#‎banter‬ ‪#‎dienslowly‬

y u do dis?

Scouser · 12-01-2014 8:21pm

thecatspjs wrote: »

#‎Lads‬ ‪#‎nightsout‬ ‪#‎banter‬ ‪#‎dienslowly‬

y u do dis?

i think i know that plonker

czechlin · 13-01-2014 1:24pm

Muise... wrote: »

Dumb preface to linked article about the current state of Iraq:

"Would this be happening if Saddam were alive today?"

Dumber comment:

"No one thing about regimes like this is they hold things together. Take Czechoslovakia after the Russians left - they had the Balkan war."

:eek:

glass_onion · 13-01-2014 1:37pm

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

glass_onion · 13-01-2014 1:39pm

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

kunst nugget · 13-01-2014 1:41pm

glass_onion wrote: »

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

Yes, because that's how missing pet posters work as well. The dog is walking down the road after a week of chasing bitches and sees his face up on a ESB pole and thinks 'Sh¡t, my owner's looking for me again! Dammit Spot, think with the big brain and not the little brain in the future! She's going to be out of her mind and crying and sh¡t just like last time. Humans look well ugly when they cry…'

kunst nugget · 13-01-2014 1:43pm

glass_onion wrote: »

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

This girl did!!!

Oh, wait…

Muise... · 13-01-2014 1:46pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Yes, because that's how missing pet posters work as well. The dog is walking down the road after a week of chasing bitches and sees his face up on a ESB pole and thinks 'Sh¡t, my owner's looking for me again! Dammit Spot, think with the big brain and not the little brain in the future! She's going to be out of her mind and crying and sh¡t just like last time. Humans look well ugly when they cry…'

Unfortunately how they work is some poor pet-less person posts a photo of their pet and a plea for help. They then get loads of comments and rush to the page to get news, only to read 100's of "Aw, he's lovely

" and "if anyone did anything to my dog I'd gouge their eyes out with a fish-hook. :mad:"

reap-a-rat · 13-01-2014 1:48pm

glass_onion wrote: »

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

A friend of mine won an iPad about a year and a half ago, I suppose it was before EVERYTHING was a competition. Also know people who've won different things from smaller companies, local companies etc. The "Like & Share to win one of these PS4s that were sent back because they had the wrong sticker" ones are all obviously farcical.

kunst nugget · 13-01-2014 1:53pm

Muise... wrote: »

Unfortunately how they work is some poor pet-less person posts a photo of their pet and a plea for help. They then get loads of comments and rush to the page to get news, only to read 100's of "Aw, he's lovely " and "if anyone did anything to my dog I'd gouge their eyes out with a fish-hook. :mad:"

Tbf, I have a friend who posts the odd dog-related post on facebook. She posted some stuff up around the time of the Lennox thing up north. Some of the people commenting were proper mental. There seems to be a certain breed of dog owners that are forever in danger of killing someone for speaking ill about their beloved animals. I always thought stroking pets was meant to be good for calming people down but it doesn't seem to work for those people…

Muise... · 13-01-2014 1:57pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Tbf, I have a friend who posts the odd dog-related post on facebook. She posted some stuff up around the time of the Lennox thing up north. Some of the people commenting were proper mental. There seems to be a certain breed of dog owners that are forever in danger of killing someone for speaking ill about their beloved animals. I always thought stroking pets was meant to be good for calming people down but it doesn't seem to work for those people…

ditto anything to do with harming children. The vast majority of us possess the instinct to look after children and pets, but somehow some people seem to shriekingly denounce abuse like they're on trial for it in North Korea.

u_c_thesecond · 13-01-2014 2:22pm

glass_onion wrote: »

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

that is both the cruelest and funnies thing i have ever read:p

glass_onion · 13-01-2014 2:39pm

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

that is both the cruelest and funnies thing i have ever read:p

it was a genuine stupid off the cuff remark.apologies to all i offended:o.

dirkmeister · 13-01-2014 5:33pm

"Wrecked tired, and now ready for bed"

This is from a fella.

kunst nugget · 13-01-2014 6:01pm

dirkmeister wrote: »

"Wrecked tired, and now ready for bed"

This is from a fella.

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

dirkmeister · 14-01-2014 12:06am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

Yes, that's obviously what I meant.

Super-Rush · 14-01-2014 12:52am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

I think he might have meant why bother posting something like that.

Those posts can be worse than the more obvious crap you see on FB.

Who gives a sh1te if you're tired?

We're all tired.

BNMC · 14-01-2014 12:56am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

From my experience on FB it's predominantly women who tend to post the most innate and pointless shit such as that post.

Attention seeking at its finest.

Doctor Strange · 14-01-2014 1:07am

BNMC wrote: »

From my experience on FB it's predominantly women who tend to post the most innate and pointless shit such as that post.

Attention seeking at its finest.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3164785920/hC56543CD/

Ihatecuddles · 14-01-2014 1:15am

All from the same guy, he never fails to make me laugh!

i just called my son a bag of ****e, he then told me not to call him a bag of ****e and then he cried cos he said a bad word..he's a strange bag of ****e.

here's my one and only parenting tip: be your kids sensible friend, not their evil dictator and tats all there is to it. now im about to ring my daughter and tell her one direction died in a gang war over a crack debt and see wat happens..

I've noticed a lot of people getting engaged for Christmas, im worried tat its goin to be the same situation as people getting a puppy.. do they really no the commitment their making? my main concern is come the end of january we'll start finding loads of abandoned fiance's behind shopping centres or in cardboard boxes out in bad weather conditions, an engagement/marriage isn't just for Christmas its until an affair/divorce.

I'm so hungover I'm sitting in marley park playground and I'm not even sure if I brought my kids... I feel like I'm coming down of some heavy drug and only getting back to reality... I think I'll just put my clothes back on and get the **** out of here.

I might terrorise my kids for my own enjoyment but I'm also getting them ready for the ****ty world, but bottom line I would die for them without hesitation... Anyway here's a pic of my kid after I told him if he doesn't eat old veg out of a smelly sock (he absolutely hates both) christmas and all he birthdays would be cancelled.

My kids passport photo looks like a mugshot after he was on a week long bender wit charlie sheen, and also his middle name is alf for no other reason than its a funny name

thecatspjs · 14-01-2014 1:46am

mauzo! wrote: »

All from the same guy, he never fails to make me laugh!

Wow! It's amazing how a lot of tricky words are spelled correctly yet there is a lot of 'tat' (that) and 'no' (know). Weird.

Otherwise they are priceless

Keep 'em comin'!

Paddy Cow · 14-01-2014 3:26am

mauzo! wrote: »

All from the same guy, he never fails to make me laugh!

Is it a parody page like "you ok hun"?

Ihatecuddles · 14-01-2014 9:46am

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Is it a parody page like "you ok hun"?

no! Just your average father of 2. Here's more

i just read tat women pay €550 for sperm donations.. i have literally been throwing millions down the drain since im about 12...i don't want to think bout the fortune i lost the week i found out xena warrior princess was a lesbian

I'm goin to ring my daughters phone, and wen she answers in school I'm goin to mental at her for answerin her phone in school.... Parenting101

I'm goin for a jog and I'm goin to bring this (bottle of huzzar) instead of a bottle of water, theres only water in it but it'll confuse the **** out of people in the park

Down watching the kids swimming, I wonder if my kids would like it.. — at (swimming pool).

Everyday wen I collect my kid he races his mate from the doors of the school to the front gate, and everyday I challenge his mates granny the same race and I even said I'd give her a head start today and she still won't do it.. or talk to me.. she must think I'm messing, the bitch.

Feeling a tad down today so I decided to steal my kids birthday and cheer myself up...its great being 7

(picture of cards with the kids name crossed out and his written in marker)

My kid got one of them bus fare containers at school, handy wen your stuck

(trocaire box)

There are many rewards for being a parent but the one of my favorite is hiding on my kid in a supermarket and watching him panic, I tried to get a pic but some oul one pointed me out to him the bitch.

I always feel mad awkward wen paying wit my card and having to say to the girl "will I put it in now?" spitting on my card and winking at her probably doesn't help but I can't help it...

I've been lookin for my kids haribo wit him for the last hour but we couldn't find them, probably cos I ate the whole packet yesterday...and they were just delicious

Sometimes wen I'm out and about wit my kids I wish tat they were actually 2 midgets and we could all jus go for a pint

It's not even half 3 and I've already shoplifted twice..

I could see my son staring at me in the corner of my eye wit a big smile on his face,kind of looking at me in a proud kind of a way,I thought he was goin to say I love you or something like tat and then he says....wait till ya smell tat.

Seeing as its been raining for days and everyone is clearly depressed here's a little embarrassing fact about me, wen I was 10 (or more like 15) my auntie rang my house phone and wen I answered she thought I was my sister, I was to embarrassed tat I was mistaken for a girl to correct her so I continued the short conversation in a girls voice.

I just found any iPhone, waited till someone rang it and returned it to its rightful owner..I'm very worried tat I've finally grown up! Your man gave me a fiver tat I'll obviously have to put towards my first bag of heroin to try regain some street cred.

My favourite-

Lost 3 Kilos

at The Toilet
went for a ****e

HeidiHeidi · 14-01-2014 11:21am

I'd love to have him as my father!

(maybe not when actually a kid - I'd say the poor things are permanently mortified - but he sounds class

)

Ihatecuddles · 14-01-2014 11:26am

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

I'd love to have him as my father!

(maybe not when actually a kid - I'd say the poor things are permanently mortified - but he sounds class )

Doesn't he?? Some of the photos he puts up are hilarious. There's one of his kid standing in the corner of the room and his comment was 'He's just been standing there for 20 minutes, I started to get freaked out so kept calling him. Thought he was possessed or something, so I threw the remote at him and he ran off crying, phew...turns out he's just weird'

He's also absolutely gorgeous and very fit! Does MMA and is just an all round ride

He had this gem yesterday.
'Is Roy Keane a Buddhist??'
https://www.facebook.com/buddhistbootcamp

CarMe · 14-01-2014 12:20pm

Oh my God I love that dad!!!

HeidiHeidi · 14-01-2014 12:25pm

mauzo! wrote: »

Doesn't he?? Some of the photos he puts up are hilarious. There's one of his kid standing in the corner of the room and his comment was 'He's just been standing there for 20 minutes, I started to get freaked out so kept calling him. Thought he was possessed or something, so I threw the remote at him and he ran off crying, phew...turns out he's just weird'

He's also absolutely gorgeous and very fit! Does MMA and is just an all round ride

He had this gem yesterday.
'Is Roy Keane a Buddhist??'
https://www.facebook.com/buddhistbootcamp

:D:D

He's the spit of him!

Ihatecuddles · 14-01-2014 12:48pm

Right last time I'll post! I'm practically stalking him now.

Dying from a hangover, tell my dogI love him

Couple of hours later

I'm alright now, do me a favour and don't mention anything to the dog....don't want him getting worried again

*picture of a turnip on the road*

Did anyone lose a turnip? Spotted it wen I was walking home it had no collar or so maybe its a stray...I have to stop taking photos of everything.

*picture of a guy cycling with his arse showing*

Look at the crack on this boyo!!

*picture of Mark Zuckerberg at a rave*

good oul Marky out of his snackbox

u_c_thesecond · 14-01-2014 1:31pm

mauzo! wrote: »

Right last time I'll post! I'm practically stalking him now.

Couple of hours later

*picture of a turnip on the road*

*picture of a guy cycling with his arse showing*

*picture of Mark Zuckerberg at a rave*

i love this guy !!:D

Silverfish · 14-01-2014 10:30pm

I wish this guy was my friend.

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Comments