Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

yerwanthere123

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

Thoroughly enjoyed eating ice cream in the car with my mom in -17C weather with snow everywhere

Talk about living life on the edge

JohnMearsheimer

The same person just posted this.

'I love how FB makes it an absolute nightmare to delete large groups of people? They show you all of your closest friends first, then once you get towards the bottom, you delete 4 or 5 and it refreshes so you have to go all the way back down again. DAFUQ'

PopePalpatine

TBF, I think they have a point.

Lollipops23

Someone I know posted that her toddler had come down with a tummy bug and it was all Ryanair's fault (they've just come home from hols).



Riiiight. They're to blame for a lot of stuff, but not sure how you can pin this one them.

wnolan1992

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Someone I know posted that her toddler had come down with a tummy bug and it was all Ryanair's fault (they've just come home from hols).



Riiiight. They're to blame for a lot of stuff, but not sure how you can pin this one them.

They don't provide airtight bubbles with a heavily filtered dedicated oxygen supply for each passenger, thus leading to the inevitable spread of disease.

I smell a lawsuit on the horizon! :P

WellThen?

There is a page on Facebook called "Dole Rumours" with 22 members. I have no idea how I came across it but it's hilarious. They are just discussing what they will do with their free cash every week

Eg. "I want that tenner when you get your dole Dano.. No excuses"

I don't think they are aware it is public.

rawn

WellThen? wrote: »

There is a page on Facebook called "Dole Rumours" with 22 members. I have no idea how I came across it but it's hilarious. They are just discussing what they will do with their free cash every week

Eg. "I want that tenner when you get your dole Dano.. No excuses"

I don't think they are aware it is public.

This page is gold.

"Take me Dole ya get shot with me 2 guns"

"i am officials of singing of the dole use bunch of goones ,i have a feeling ILL BE BACK."

"9/11 happened now dole/11 is coming soon"

"Ahahahahaha me sister got told santys not real today hahaha gas.. Anyway this is the mugshot that got taken of me when they found out when i was takin money off the dole and working but dont worry i didnt rat anyone out yous are grand haha merry xmas :Z"

sinead88

"So...I am hearing that the Saline gossip folk are at it!! Saying my mum and dad are child molesters and this is why the foster kids are leaving!! Why do people just make **** up when they don't know the facts!!!??? Do u think social work would leave the kids staying here if they were in danger? My mum and dad r going through enough **** without this!! Boils my blood like...raging is an understatement!!!!!"

Although the topic itself is a serious one, who in their right mind would put that on Facebook??! It just popped up on my feed that one of my friends had liked it. I don't actually know the girl that wrote it but I really think it's insane that anyone would choose to put that on a public forum.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

40 year old men only being allowed to drink whisky and horse urine?

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

lolli

Even when I'm in the dark I still make faces for snapchat, then I realise you can't see me.. — feeling hopeless.

roro1990

Seen on 1st January : "Can't believe our beautiful planet is 2014 years old this year"

MrStuffins

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Cheeky Volvic?

Mr. Nice

lolli wrote: »

Even when I'm in the dark I still make faeces for snapchat, then I realise you can't see me.. — feeling hopeless.

fyp ;-)

Tetra

"Lady just wrote a big complaint because I did not offer to call the store for her to check prices. I am helping 3 customers at once. Get off your lazy ass lady and call the store yourself"

irritablebaz

roro1990 wrote: »

Seen on 1st January : "Can't believe our beautiful planet is 2014 years old this year"

i saw that on twatter http://t.co/QDXP9DC0YT

coolhull

roro1990 wrote: »

Seen on 1st January : "Can't believe our beautiful planet is 2014 years old this year"

I know, I'm having trouble believing that too :rolleyes:

Richard Hillman

Girl 1 Status:
which one a u toe rags gave <name> warts cuz serious between <bunch of names> n de other skanger yas gave um sumtin yas dirthy tramps

Girl 2:
was wan dem coz hes riddled & claiming its a scar pffft i no ye inside out dirty pie <name> got smacked around

Girl 1:
he says he got farturlised bu no dan ur riddeled n dats dat ya crack head haahahah

Man 1:
Wat skangers ya on about name n shame dem

Girl 2:
dem all bean hope ur alri sorry about d madness otta me love struck by a tick fool

Girl 1:
im on about <name> withh de tree dirthy buorrrs lads crawlin with summtin der was two lil dirthy warts on his penis de other day will i send ya a pic bean bomb

Man 1:
Haha yea send dem on dis hahahaha

Girl 1:
haha cha get dem pics der dirthy ones alri uhhh nasty chats

Man 2:
ere you fool don't open ur mouth about me bro u rotten lookin **** you no nothing or anything about him so **** ur ****ing mouth

Girl 2:
She knows enuf him she was 1 many to lay down with him and d family & thats not bad to u <girl 1> thats for d slapper of a family

Man 2:
Shut the **** up get a grip to life stop tryna give me family stick seriously no1 opened deer mouth about you. <girl 1> your a barrel ul be broke up ye fool

Girl 2:
u no nuhn why cant use talk n d fone instead giving stick over dis dead beat blokes man i swear

Girl 1:
haha whos gona brake me up u dudu like ta see ya try love

Man 3:
Share <girl 3> if your with <boyfriend name> why would you be layin down with boys anyway!? (The boyfriend is in prison)

Girl 2:
shes talking about my babies da not her fella she is with <boyfriend>

Man 3:
But share you said she was the one to lay down with him

Girl 1:
no <Man3> its bou de babys da... like i no enuff bou um cuz havin warrs with de dirty damper <boyfriend> will open um up wen he gets um

Man 2:
Hahahahahahahaa

Man 3:
Yea well sounded a bit weird tbh

Girl 1:
ye i no i was lookin at de comments der ha <Man 3>... shut it <man 2> or ill boot ur bird round pregnant or not her face aint pregnant n ur gettin her inta dis mess ya dirty owl fool now get dwn of me page facebook ya horror or ur






Words defy me

EuskalHerria

Comment 3: "He got fartulised".

I've been impressed before with translations on here, but good luck with that one.

Richard Hillman

Fertilised maybe. It still doesn't make any sense though.

Paddy Cow

Probably meant sterilised, as in he had a vasectomy and is now riddled from sleeping with tramps without protection.

Applause

lve my <Girlfrends Name> nd my kids millions cnt wait ta c em 2moro miss dem terrible nd i genuinely cnt wait ta c my boys faces xmas day got spoiled bt day deserve it cuz dave bein true alot gbd :* nd spoiled my woman hw cud i 4get her shes da best gf n da world i dnt knw ware id be witot her lve u my <Girlfriends Name> my <Son1> nd my <Son2> yr my whole world ye'll never knw hw much i lve ye nd wat ye mean ta me 2getr 4ever my bbys daddy lves ye xxx xxx xxx c ye 2moro my littel fat cuddely bears

Here's a rough translation;
"I love my girlfriend and my children so much, I can't wait to see them tomorrow, I really miss them. I really can't wait to see their faces on Christmas, we spoiled them but they deserve it because the have been through a lot, God Bless Them. How could I forgot about my woman, she is the best girlfriend in the world, I don't know where I would be without her. I love you and my sons, you are my whole world, you will never know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Together forever my babies, daddy loves you. See you tomorrow my fat cuddly bears."


Written by an 18 year old boy.. :rolleyes:

u_c_thesecond

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Girl 1 Status:
which one a u toe rags gave <name> warts cuz serious between <bunch of names> n de other skanger yas gave um sumtin yas dirthy tramps

Girl 2:
was wan dem coz hes riddled & claiming its a scar pffft i no ye inside out dirty pie <name> got smacked around

Girl 1:
he says he got farturlised bu no dan ur riddeled n dats dat ya crack head haahahah

Man 1:
Wat skangers ya on about name n shame dem

Girl 2:
dem all bean hope ur alri sorry about d madness otta me love struck by a tick fool

Girl 1:
im on about <name> withh de tree dirthy buorrrs lads crawlin with summtin der was two lil dirthy warts on his penis de other day will i send ya a pic bean bomb

Man 1:
Haha yea send dem on dis hahahaha

Girl 1:
haha cha get dem pics der dirthy ones alri uhhh nasty chats

Man 2:
ere you fool don't open ur mouth about me bro u rotten lookin **** you no nothing or anything about him so **** ur ****ing mouth

Girl 2:
She knows enuf him she was 1 many to lay down with him and d family & thats not bad to u <girl 1> thats for d slapper of a family

Man 2:
Shut the **** up get a grip to life stop tryna give me family stick seriously no1 opened deer mouth about you. <girl 1> your a barrel ul be broke up ye fool

Girl 2:
u no nuhn why cant use talk n d fone instead giving stick over dis dead beat blokes man i swear

Girl 1:
haha whos gona brake me up u dudu like ta see ya try love

Man 3:
Share <girl 3> if your with <boyfriend name> why would you be layin down with boys anyway!? (The boyfriend is in prison)

Girl 2:
shes talking about my babies da not her fella she is with <boyfriend>

Man 3:
But share you said she was the one to lay down with him

Girl 1:
no <Man3> its bou de babys da... like i no enuff bou um cuz havin warrs with de dirty damper <boyfriend> will open um up wen he gets um

Man 2:
Hahahahahahahaa

Man 3:
Yea well sounded a bit weird tbh

Girl 1:
ye i no i was lookin at de comments der ha <Man 3>... shut it <man 2> or ill boot ur bird round pregnant or not her face aint pregnant n ur gettin her inta dis mess ya dirty owl fool now get dwn of me page facebook ya horror or ur






Words defy me

MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thecatspjs

You know what bugs me? When people are always saying that Americans are dumb for not knowing anything about the world outside of America. This kind of crap is usually spouted by someone whose only connection to the USA is through the medium of television. It is, of course, absolute nonsense. I maintain that there is just as high a proportion of ignorant numpties in every country around the world.

Exhibit A:

Saw that Nelson Mandela film last night and just as the credits started rolling at the end, my friend turns to me confused and asks " when's his 'I have a dream' speech??

LOSTfan57

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Girl 1 Status:
which one a u toe rags gave <name> warts cuz serious between <bunch of names> n de other skanger yas gave um sumtin yas dirthy tramps

Girl 2:
was wan dem coz hes riddled & claiming its a scar pffft i no ye inside out dirty pie <name> got smacked around

Girl 1:
he says he got farturlised bu no dan ur riddeled n dats dat ya crack head haahahah

Man 1:
Wat skangers ya on about name n shame dem

Girl 2:
dem all bean hope ur alri sorry about d madness otta me love struck by a tick fool

Girl 1:
im on about <name> withh de tree dirthy buorrrs lads crawlin with summtin der was two lil dirthy warts on his penis de other day will i send ya a pic bean bomb

Man 1:
Haha yea send dem on dis hahahaha

Girl 1:
haha cha get dem pics der dirthy ones alri uhhh nasty chats

Man 2:
ere you fool don't open ur mouth about me bro u rotten lookin **** you no nothing or anything about him so **** ur ****ing mouth

Girl 2:
She knows enuf him she was 1 many to lay down with him and d family & thats not bad to u <girl 1> thats for d slapper of a family

Man 2:
Shut the **** up get a grip to life stop tryna give me family stick seriously no1 opened deer mouth about you. <girl 1> your a barrel ul be broke up ye fool

Girl 2:
u no nuhn why cant use talk n d fone instead giving stick over dis dead beat blokes man i swear

Girl 1:
haha whos gona brake me up u dudu like ta see ya try love

Man 3:
Share <girl 3> if your with <boyfriend name> why would you be layin down with boys anyway!? (The boyfriend is in prison)

Girl 2:
shes talking about my babies da not her fella she is with <boyfriend>

Man 3:
But share you said she was the one to lay down with him

Girl 1:
no <Man3> its bou de babys da... like i no enuff bou um cuz havin warrs with de dirty damper <boyfriend> will open um up wen he gets um

Man 2:
Hahahahahahahaa

Man 3:
Yea well sounded a bit weird tbh

Girl 1:
ye i no i was lookin at de comments der ha <Man 3>... shut it <man 2> or ill boot ur bird round pregnant or not her face aint pregnant n ur gettin her inta dis mess ya dirty owl fool now get dwn of me page facebook ya horror or ur






Words defy me

No Richard.....you understand words fine.....the above bunch......diffrent story

iwantmydinner

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Girl 1 Status:
which one a u toe rags gave <name> warts cuz serious between <bunch of names> n de other skanger yas gave um sumtin yas dirthy tramps

Girl 2:
was wan dem coz hes riddled & claiming its a scar pffft i no ye inside out dirty pie <name> got smacked around

Girl 1:
he says he got farturlised bu no dan ur riddeled n dats dat ya crack head haahahah

Man 1:
Wat skangers ya on about name n shame dem

Girl 2:
dem all bean hope ur alri sorry about d madness otta me love struck by a tick fool

Girl 1:
im on about <name> withh de tree dirthy buorrrs lads crawlin with summtin der was two lil dirthy warts on his penis de other day will i send ya a pic bean bomb

Man 1:
Haha yea send dem on dis hahahaha

Girl 1:
haha cha get dem pics der dirthy ones alri uhhh nasty chats

Man 2:
ere you fool don't open ur mouth about me bro u rotten lookin **** you no nothing or anything about him so **** ur ****ing mouth

Girl 2:
She knows enuf him she was 1 many to lay down with him and d family & thats not bad to u <girl 1> thats for d slapper of a family

Man 2:
Shut the **** up get a grip to life stop tryna give me family stick seriously no1 opened deer mouth about you. <girl 1> your a barrel ul be broke up ye fool

Girl 2:
u no nuhn why cant use talk n d fone instead giving stick over dis dead beat blokes man i swear

Girl 1:
haha whos gona brake me up u dudu like ta see ya try love

Man 3:
Share <girl 3> if your with <boyfriend name> why would you be layin down with boys anyway!? (The boyfriend is in prison)

Girl 2:
shes talking about my babies da not her fella she is with <boyfriend>

Man 3:
But share you said she was the one to lay down with him

Girl 1:
no <Man3> its bou de babys da... like i no enuff bou um cuz havin warrs with de dirty damper <boyfriend> will open um up wen he gets um

Man 2:
Hahahahahahahaa

Man 3:
Yea well sounded a bit weird tbh

Girl 1:
ye i no i was lookin at de comments der ha <Man 3>... shut it <man 2> or ill boot ur bird round pregnant or not her face aint pregnant n ur gettin her inta dis mess ya dirty owl fool now get dwn of me page facebook ya horror or ur






Words defy me

I can't decide whether the content or the "style" horrifies me more. Dear god.

iDave

'Whos inviting me sumwhere '


No one, shut up

honerbright

Not sure if a piss-take or not, but this is how so many people I know spend their mad/great nights :rolleyes::

Fun night in with the besties — with *blank* and 2 others.

Photo of 3 girls on a couch staring into their phones