All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I've been under the surgeon's knife :eek: :eek::eek:

Well, God's speed for a full recovery. Was it for anything that regular use of a steam-cleaner in your home could have prevented, e.g dibbitty dibbitty worm poisoning?

My buddy decided that his carpet was a biological hazard and bought a carpet steam-cleaner. He's been wearing wellies indoors for nearly a week now, making schlup schlup noises as he walks on the carpet (to turn on the TV to see the "all-important lie detector results") because the steam-cleaner forgot how to suck up the steam and corpses after it blasted them with steam.

His "Leader of the Opposition" is said to be not amused as the abundance and aroma of dead and decaying insect life is (apparently) encouraging the evolution of new, as yet unnamed life forms in this miniature, primordial slime.

He has asked for my assistance in naming these creatures but, as I'm spending more time "off" than "on" lately, perhaps some oulwans or oulfellas would like to assist.

Jellybaby1

Am recovering at a rate of knots, or even......noughts! Thank you Brens. Nope, a steam cleaner would not have prevented my woes, 'twas just something that creeps up on ya when ya least expect it. A ruddy painful but curable ruddy creeper!!

I purchased said steam cleaner for cleaning the oven or the grotty slimy mould off shower tiles but as I've never used it I have learned to live with said grotty slimy mould. But BBDBB, tell us more about your steam cleaning adventures. You might encourage me to open the box which contains said unused steam cleaner.

BBDBB

steam cleaners - are a blast (badum tish)

Ive had one for a few years, its ideal for ovens and showers, though you need a good few dry cloths to follow the nozzle and wipe up what the steam 'melts'. Its brilliant at cleaning the stainless steel cooker hood for example, brings it up like new and without chemicals

Sorry to hear of your woes Jelly, hope you are recovering well

Rubecula

I dunno. I am away for a little while and the wimmin get the place all domesticated. Never mind the steam cleaners, where did you tidy me motorbike engine too. It was alright in the bath, and the oily bits didn't make too much mess.

Ramette

Ruuuuuuuube you're back )))))))))

Rubecula

What is wrong with my back??




Good to see you too Rammy XX

OldGoat

/Doffs hat
Evening Rubes.
I may have turned your engine casing into wine rack.

Jellybaby1

Arrrrrrgggghhh! Just when we thought it was safe to go out!! Hiya Rube, how's she cuttin'? Are you back on your feet at last? 'Tis grand to hear your dulcet tones over the inty-net.

BBDBB

wheres the milk?

Rube, you were sent out with a crisp new fiver and told to get a bottle of milk and racing post for Chucken, youve been gone ages, what happened fella?

BrensBenz

Rubecula wrote: »

Never mind the steam cleaners, where did you tidy me motorbike engine too. It was alright in the bath, and the oily bits didn't make too much mess.

Well, serves you right! Engines in the bath is not the best plan. Granted, it reduces the risk of losing vital washers and O-rings but you can't get good purchase on seized parts and it will come out smelling.....all girlie.

But you have hit on a female trait that needs to be aired, i.e. moving stuff from perfectly good locations, for no obvious reason. Returning home after my recent "holiday", I decided to make a sandwich and cuppa. This, I contend, is not cookery but DIY. But, but, where's the butter?

Since 1981, the butter place was beside the toaster. I had visions of butter-coloured granite sitting in the fridge and then twenty minutes with a hairdryer because zapping it in the microwave is a bit hit 'n' miss. I could miss the all important lie detector results! Oh no! "Where's the butter?"

"Oh," I was informed, "we have new "softer" butter that stays soft, even in the fridge. It's in this lovely plastic tub." The plastic tub was emblazoned with text that tells you almost everything, including how many diseases it cures, but it fails to tell you that it's not real butter. It remains soft in the fridge because it's made from PLASTIC GLOOP!

"Where's the butter?" "There's some in there, behind the Wheetie Bangs." "Behind the Wheetie Bangs?????" I could hear the TV telling me that "mobile charges could be higher." Panic! The all important lie detector results are coming up and no sandwich. Well, I knew where the HobNobs were. Then, the kettle boiled...............





WHERE'S THE TEA BAGS????????????

Rubecula

OldGoat wrote: »

/Doffs hat
Evening Rubes.
I may have turned your engine casing into wine rack.

That is a great idea OG. Wine rack on a motorbike. And it will be kept at the perfect temperature too.

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Arrrrrrgggghhh! Just when we thought it was safe to go out!! Hiya Rube, how's she cuttin'? Are you back on your feet at last? 'Tis grand to hear your dulcet tones over the inty-net.

Aww Jely tis lovely to hear your ould creaking bones again my dear. Can I apply your embrocation for you sometime?

BBDBB wrote: »

wheres the milk?

Rube, you were sent out with a crisp new fiver and told to get a bottle of milk and racing post for Chucken, youve been gone ages, what happened fella?

I was mugged by a three legged cat for the milk. I had to chase it down, but was overtaken by a vicious snail that took the rest of the money off me. Honest it is all true.

BrensBenz wrote: »

Well, serves you right! Engines in the bath is not the best plan. Granted, it reduces the risk of losing vital washers and O-rings but you can't get good purchase on seized parts and it will come out smelling.....all girlie.

But you have hit on a female trait that needs to be aired, i.e. moving stuff from perfectly good locations, for no obvious reason. Returning home after my recent "holiday", I decided to make a sandwich and cuppa. This, I contend, is not cookery but DIY. But, but, where's the butter?

Since 1981, the butter place was beside the toaster. I had visions of butter-coloured granite sitting in the fridge and then twenty minutes with a hairdryer because zapping it in the microwave is a bit hit 'n' miss. I could miss the all important lie detector results! Oh no! "Where's the butter?"

"Oh," I was informed, "we have new "softer" butter that stays soft, even in the fridge. It's in this lovely plastic tub." The plastic tub was emblazoned with text that tells you almost everything, including how many diseases it cures, but it fails to tell you that it's not real butter. It remains soft in the fridge because it's made from PLASTIC GLOOP!

"Where's the butter?" "There's some in there, behind the Wheetie Bangs." "Behind the Wheetie Bangs?????" I could hear the TV telling me that "mobile charges could be higher." Panic! The all important lie detector results are coming up and no sandwich. Well, I knew where the HobNobs were. Then, the kettle boiled...............





WHERE'S THE TEA BAGS????????????

Don't get me started. I come home from the hospital to an entirely wrong house. EVERYTHING has been moved ... or worse still, thrown out!

"You didn't need that" "Why did you want that" "I thought it looked better without that" "The new one is better"

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Jellybaby1

BrensBenz wrote: »

But you have hit on a female trait that needs to be aired, i.e. moving stuff from perfectly good locations, for no obvious reason.

Well, the blimmin' cheek! I came home from the hostybubble and hardly anything was in its place, so it sure ain't a 'female trait', except that all our kitchen effects were everywhere except in cupboards, and pilin' up beside the sink waiting for a female to wash 'em up! Grrrrrrrr!! I said.....Grrrrrr! :mad:

BBDBB

isnt she adorable when roused

Chucken

Cant you leave the poor woman alone and stop rousing her this hour of the night!
Poor Jelly, sorry to hear you're not well. get better soon ok?

BBDBB

most of my best rousing was traditionally done at this time of night

Chucken

Hmmmm. Why doesn't that surprise me?

Well, are ye all hooked on Eurovision? Iv'e my annual fever :cool:

OldGoat

When did TV stations become channels? I never use the term station for TV anymore though I still do for the radio.
/Scratches head - Senior moments with John.

Chucken

OldGoat wrote: »

When did TV stations become channels? I never use the term station for TV anymore though I still do for the radio.
/Scratches head - Senior moments with John.

I refer to tv places as "The RTEs and "The SKYs"

The RTEs are rte1, 2, tv3, tg4,3e and probably the BBCs

The SKYs are all the rest :cool:

*I dont care, I know what I mean*

Rubecula

Jellybaby:

a bheith go maith agus sláintiúil

OG:

Funny you mention the word station as opposed to channel for the TV, I was thinking about the radio last night and using the word station, but the word channel for the tv. :cool:

Chucken:

I have always known you are weird.

Chucken

Maith thú leis an nGaeilge, tá gnáth leadránach

BBDBB

Time to up the meds I reckon

Rubecula

Chucken wrote: »

Maith thú leis an nGaeilge, tá gnáth leadránach

buíochas a ghabháil leat Chuck, moladh go deimhin ó tú

edit: I am doing my bestest

Chucken

You're very good Rube

We better stop now or we'll be force fed more meds

Rubecula

Chucken wrote: »

You're very good Rube

We better stop now or we'll be force fed more meds

I am not sure very good is quite right, but maybe better than the average sasanach. Just a little bit.

Edit: Besides I am supposed to be learning Welsh LOL LOL

Jellybaby1

I wanted to answer a lot of the above comments but there were so many of them I gave up. I will answer one though, thanks Chuckie, I'm feeling grand now. Nil aon focal agam so I'm not even going to answer as gailge, nor will I be bothered to put in the fadas so ye can decipher it yourselves. Sometimes, is binn beal ina thost.

Alice1

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I wanted to answer a lot of the above comments but there were so many of them I gave up. I will answer one though, thanks Chuckie, I'm feeling grand now. Nil aon focal agam so I'm not even going to answer as gailge, nor will I be bothered to put in the fadas so ye can decipher it yourselves. Sometimes, is binn beal ina thost.

Sa chás sin, tá mé an-órga

Rubecula

All the lovely ladies in here are pure gold IMO

Chucken

Thats an illusion brought on by the glow from our halos

BBDBB

oops, looks like too much meds now

Rubecula

Not meds my friend, gobstoppers!