Non-Alcohol Focused Socialising

Iancar29

Cant believe i found a thread like this...

Im 21, and i dont like the club events and all that, i dont drink ( mainly out of no interest in the taste and that stomach ulsers run in the family)

Id only go to a club for a friends party to thats it really.
Much rather have small house gatherings, cinema, restaurant , pub quizzes , stuff like that.

I love to cook and into music and photography,
ive been single over a year now and kinda worried also that i mite be found "too boring" seeing as nearly every girl i get to know loves going on a nite out to a club and drink..... hopefully im just wrong.

SheRa

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Sure, it's on tonight in the Central Hotel in Dublin. Information about it here. My friend got us tickets (they were free) though, so I don't know if you can just walk in. Give them a buzz. I might see you there!

Alternatively if you like storytelling there is a group in Dublin called Milk and Cookies who regularly organise storytelling events.

Thanks a million for those links, they both look really interesting. Looks like i won't make tonights talk but will def keep an eye out for future talks.

Eviledna

I'm 26, and I gave up alcohol totally over a year ago, as it began to make me anxious when I had a hangover. When I was 16-20 I did a decent amount of drinking and clubbing and didnt always understand why some people didnt drink.

Since I've given it up I've gotten used to being sober in a group of drunk people, and I have the laugh. Cash isn't abundant at the mo so I keep it to state days and special occasions for the pub nights, so it's usually friends houses for drinks and chats. The one thing I have noticed since I've been off the drink is other peoples reactions.

Was out on new years all dressed up and celebrating, drinking coffee at the start of the night to begin. Had this girl I barely knew come up to me and actually say: "Coffee! What's wrong?:eek:" - I replied, "Oh nothing at all, I don't drink alcohol" to which she promptly replied: "Oh :rolleyes: " and walked right off.
I've gotten this crap a few times, "What do you mean you don't drink", sure go on have one anyway kinda crap. I would never say the opposite to someone so I wish people wouldn't marginalise me just I'm having a coke/tea/coffee.
I've reduced myself to having soda water and lime to avoid the comments, but it kinda sucks.
I think it's a trust thing. People seem to not trust you if you're sober, thinking you'll be watching other peopes actions, judging, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth, if anything I'll excuse any silliness, sure they're only having a laugh and a drink. But I'm not trusted, even though I'm a funlovin yoke.:(

CluelessGirl

Eviledna wrote: »

I've reduced myself to having soda water and lime to avoid the comments, but it kinda sucks.
I think it's a trust thing. People seem to not trust you if you're sober, thinking you'll be watching other peopes actions, judging, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth, if anything I'll excuse any silliness, sure they're only having a laugh and a drink. But I'm not trusted, even though I'm a funlovin yoke.:(

Its not that they dont trust you. They are just avoiding you because you are not enforcing their behavoiur or choice to drink. You have courage and dont need a social crutch like alcohol to enjoy yourself. The reactions you get will only be in Ireland. Go abroad and comments will never be made.

Who gives a rats arse what they think. You drink what you want.

Eviledna

Haven't been abroad since I gave it up so I'd be interested in the difference alright! I wish there was more of a conversational café type culture here, that it wasn't just left to what's deemed as "arty types" to go to late night cafés and have chats.

My OH is very supportive and though he does drink, he's never been much of a drinker anyway, so he's always great to be around. His friends on the whole are too. Usually it's people who don't know me that feel they have the right to question me why I don't drink. But if I outright say to them..."well alcohol has never suited me and I find it makes me feel like crap" it then puts the focus on me and why it makes me feel crappy, which is personal and no-one's business. I don't wish to focus on why I don't drink on a night out, I want to have a good time!! I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not necessarily proud of it either, it's just an aspect of who I am. But it being spotlighted does make you feel a little like the one that stands out.

I can only imagine how hard it would be to be single and a non-drinker and try to break the ice with anyone that does. Immediately you are labelled a prude, or at the very least abnormal. It sucks!

Faith

CluelessGirl wrote: »

Its not that they dont trust you. They are just avoiding you because you are not enforcing their behavoiur or choice to drink. You have courage and dont need a social crutch like alcohol to enjoy yourself. The reactions you get will only be in Ireland. Go abroad and comments will never be made.

Who gives a rats arse what they think. You drink what you want.

Sorry, but that's bollox. If someone doesn't want to drink, then that's grand, that's their choice. But it makes me uncomfortable when I'm drunk and I'm with someone who's sober, because I'm afraid that they're judging me and that they're going to bring up all the stupid things I did the next day. I feel like I have to be on my best behaviour, and that's not something I want when I'm out to relax and have a good time. It's purely a selfish, personal thing - but it's entirely removed from the reasons you postulated.

Eventually you get used to a non-drinker in the group and stop worrying about them though.

Eviledna

Faith wrote: »

Sorry, but that's bollox. If someone doesn't want to drink, then that's grand, that's their choice. But it makes me uncomfortable when I'm drunk and I'm with someone who's sober, because I'm afraid that they're judging me and that they're going to bring up all the stupid things I did the next day. I feel like I have to be on my best behaviour, and that's not something I want when I'm out to relax and have a good time. It's purely a selfish, personal thing - but it's entirely removed from the reasons you postulated.

Ok, see this is what I figured was going on. But if you know someone is an ex-drinker, wouldn't you know that they know what being drunk is, and how it explains any silly behaviour on your part? Feeling like you "need to be on your best behaviour" in turn makes the non-drinker feel like a stuffy prude, when all they want to do is relax and have fun too?

I would never "bring up the stupid things the next day", because it's unfair. If you're a non-drinker you have to acknowledge the effects of alcohol and take it into account. Expecting the same type of behaviour is futile. Comes with the choice not to drink.

It really becomes a case of opposing sides though, which sucks.

kerryman12

Faith wrote: »

But it makes me uncomfortable when I'm drunk and I'm with someone who's sober, because I'm afraid that they're judging me and that they're going to bring up all the stupid things I did the next day. I feel like I have to be on my best behaviour, and that's not something I want when I'm out to relax and have a good time.

Its really interesting to read your post. As a non drinker I always assumed that this was what's going through peoples mind when I was out with them. Over time as we all got used to each other, people accepted that I was a non drinker and it didnt make any differance. But initially people would always be stand offish. This was always especially true of ladies who were down right suspicious in most cases - in a one to one situation.

Think is though I never actually thought like that, like everyone else I was just interested in having a good night out.

Maybe keep that in mind in the future.

Chuchoter

I'm not a big drinker at all, I prefer going and getting food with people and talking, mainly because I'm a really depressing person drunk :P. I'd probably drink more if I was able to BUY drink, or get into a club, but I'm at a really awkward age where I'm just nearly able to do these things (18 in a few months) but I look so young I'd never get in! (€1 under 15s bus fare ftw)

I think even if I could get into clubs I wouldn't go that much. They're really loud and crowded. I wish we had more of a cafe culture like they have in other countries, where there are other options to have fun at my age than lets all get hammered.

Panthro

I have gone through a few stints of being off the drink, think a whole year was the max I managed. I would be out with my mates, and like whats been mentioned earlier, I think a few of them felt a tad like they had to be behaved when they were drinking and I wasn't. I used to get asked "oh did I say anything stupid last night" or if they did something silly did I remember it, that kind of stuff. The amount of times I had to say "yeah, I don't remember you saying that/that happening" or "I dunno, sure I wasn't even paying attention to you anyways!" type answers.
For most part though they got used to me being sober and them getting hammered over the course of the night. Its like everything else I suppose, you/they get used to it.

watna

We're the same as the OP. I don't really go out to clubs or bars - maybe once every few months. Our socialising is usually dinner in each others houses (we all love to cook) with film watching/wii/board games/talking **** or dinner out in town. After dinner we usually head home or back to someone's house. We don't go to a bar afterwards. Other than that it's the cinema or theatre or something. We go out for brunch a lot at weekends too. I did used to go to clubs and things a lot so I guess it's age as well.

Now, don't get me wrong, we do drink a lot of wine at these things but it wouldn't make a difference if we didn't. Nobody would have a problem and they'd still be great fun! I also can't understand how peoplel say their whole social life is around drinking. Our social life revolves around food mainly! Was a bit difficult when I was trying to lose weight a few months ago but everyone just cooked low fat things and were really thoughtful bringing fruit and things for dessert.

Faith

Eviledna wrote: »

Ok, see this is what I figured was going on. But if you know someone is an ex-drinker, wouldn't you know that they know what being drunk is, and how it explains any silly behaviour on your part? Feeling like you "need to be on your best behaviour" in turn makes the non-drinker feel like a stuffy prude, when all they want to do is relax and have fun too?

I would never "bring up the stupid things the next day", because it's unfair. If you're a non-drinker you have to acknowledge the effects of alcohol and take it into account. Expecting the same type of behaviour is futile. Comes with the choice not to drink.

It really becomes a case of opposing sides though, which sucks.

Logically, yeah, you're spot on. A drinker is as likely to bring up something stupid you did the next day as a non-drinker is. It's just paranoia though. For me, and for a lot of people, hangovers make me really paranoid. I spend a lot of the next day thinking really irrational thoughts like "Oh my god I can't believe I smiled at that guy. He must think I'm such a twat". When I know everyone else was drunk, it's okay, but when I know someone was sober and will remember things, it just makes the paranoia worse.

It's completely irrational, illogical and unfair - but it's how my thought process works and I imagine a lot of people are the same. Your post, and kerryman's, have made me think a lot, and showed me the perspective from the other side. I'll certainly try to bear that in mind the next time I'm out with someone who's not drinking .

Eve_Dublin

Eviledna wrote: »

Ok, see this is what I figured was going on. But if you know someone is an ex-drinker, wouldn't you know that they know what being drunk is, and how it explains any silly behaviour on your part? Feeling like you "need to be on your best behaviour" in turn makes the non-drinker feel like a stuffy prude, when all they want to do is relax and have fun too?

I would never "bring up the stupid things the next day", because it's unfair. If you're a non-drinker you have to acknowledge the effects of alcohol and take it into account. Expecting the same type of behaviour is futile. Comes with the choice not to drink.

It really becomes a case of opposing sides though, which sucks.

I agree that some might be jealous but I'd say another legit reason is above. I've a friend in Spain who drinks very little and mostly sticks to beer without alcohol on nights out. Nights are long in Spain and I'd usually be quite drunk when I go out (which is less often now) and sometimes the night can be hazy. He remembers EVERYTHING!! He says to me, "Remember what you said to that guy in that bar at 4.30am?" and drives me crazy. My memory has obviously blocked the embarrassing bits out of the night for me to save my dignity the following morning. Sometimes I do something stupid, probably to get a laugh out of friends but it's amplified by a million for him. He picks it apart and I know he's making a judgement of me. He's a great fella and a good (daytime) friend but in all honesty, going out with him can be irritating. He can be a little santimonious about our drinking the following day when he must realise he is the exception, not the rule. How else are we going to be at 4.30am on Saturday night in a bar in Madrid?

Edit: I'm not saying this is you by the way Eviledna but perhaps some people have experience of the preachy, non-drinking friend and want to get away.

Poor Craythur

chicken fingers wrote: »

(I am not an annoying drunk...

From my experience of being sober around drunk people a fair few times, ALL drunks are annoying drunks. No-one thinks they themselves are, but they are. Repetitive, overly effusive, patronising, just plain annoying. And that's the good ones! The only thing that's make them seem less annoying is getting a bit drunk yourself. And yes, I'm an annoying drunk.

Blush_01

I could go for a year or more without drinking - I don't really see it as being a significant factor in having a good time. I do drink, but I choose when and where. I can drink quite a lot before I get drunk, and so I generally choose not to drink, as I don't really feel much of an effect unless I'm putting in some serious effort.

I am as happy to drive and drink sparkling water as I am drinking. I met some friends the other night for some drinks because I'm moving job and home and I was the only one not drinking alcohol, but we still had a lovely evening.

Alcohol as a social lubricant can be a great asset, but it has to be used properly, I guess. When it's used as a crutch its benefits get lost.

Last night I was at a debate. Last weekend we had a mixer / party as part of an organisation I'm involved with. Next week we're speed dating Friday night and possibly doing something else on Saturday, although I'd love a night in because I haven't had a night off in a while. I rarely get a Saturday night in on the couch, but when it does happen I relish it.

The last time I had a few drinks was New Years, and I made an absolute pig of myself. I'm still trying to remember why, because it was unnecessary. People often think others who aren't drinking are going to be boring or uptight, but I almost think I have better fun sober, because the only recovery time to be factored in is sleep time. Getting in at 5am sober is just a little more tiring than getting in at 5am drunk, because you postpone the tiredness to the next day with drink, but you feel it sober. I'd prefer to have a lie in and be a functional human being than being a bit wrecked all the next day because that last whiskey sounded so tempting.

miec

I'm also curious as to what the "other" Saturday night time fillers are.

I selected this option and this probably will make me sound a little sad but it is how things are for me. I am close to 40, mother of a teenager, I moved to a new location with my ex-boyfriend which is rural, we broke up but even when we were together we didn't go out on the weekend as he didn't drink (he was the sanctimonious type) nor did we mix with other people (I did meet with my friends during the day time). I rarely have company at the weekends, so mostly my weekend evenings are either watching telly, surfing the net or writing. It is mainly spent with just my son. I realise this is not a great way to be so I have joined a few things and hopefully will have a better social life in time to come. However, whilst I like a drink (a few glasses of wine or cider) I find I am going off it more and more. I don't like the tiredness / hangover / depressed feeling. I don't do night clubs as I feel I am too old for them and would be embarrassed but I miss dancing.

As for having non-drinking friends, I have no problem with people not drinking, however, I have had the unfortunate experience of some of them nagging at me or commenting on the number of drinks I am having and it really pisses me off, I find I want to drink even more out of rebelliousness. In that sense I am slightly wary of non-drinkers until I trust that they are not going to nag me.

Up-n-atom!

I have the opposite problem to many of the posters here - most of my social life at the moment involves non-alcohol related activities (cinema, meeting for coffee/dinner, hanging out at friends' homes) and I could do with a few more fun nights out. I have absolutely no problem with not drinking, but I'm still young and I feel I should be out more at the weekends, to pubs/clubs/gigs/houseparties. I recognise the downsides of it - the cost is a bit much sometimes, and the tiredness/hangover the next day makes it feel like a whole chunk of the weekend has been wasted - but I believe in a balance and this calls for more nights out!

In fairness, I have been out with friends where I haven't drank, and it can be a bit boring - so it is a bit sh*te when you attempt to opt out and do something different. Mostly, though, when I do drink I drink sensibly enough and don't go too mad. By the same token I wouldn't like my entire social life to revolve around drinking!

mariebeth

I picked 'other' because I really don't have a typical Friday/Saturday routine. I'm in college at the moment, so money is tight being a mature student I've a car & other things to be spending my money on before I can think of socialising, so some weekends I might stay in, other times I could be babysitting, which is great because I'm pretty much being paid to do what I would be doing if I was at home - which is watching tv on the sofa :rolleyes:

If I do go out, I rarely drink, but that's nothing new for me, because even when I was working I'd usually drive unless I made a plan to crash at a friends house in the city. Taxis home for me would cost up to €25 so that on top of alcohol just doesn't make it worth it when I could drink 7up for the night, spend between €10-20 and still have a great night. Plus, if I'm driving I might pick up a friend or two & drop them home, so they usually buy my drinks in return for saving them money on a taxi

Sanjuro

I used to socialise with a group of guys who, without fail, binge-drank every weekend. For pretty much the entire weekend. Because I hung out with them a lot, I felt like I had to do the same. Despite not really wanting to every weekend. Eventually things came to a head one night and I had to step back. Have a wider group of friends now, none of which pressure anybody into drinking. It's much nicer and more comfortable not feeling that if you're not spending a Sunday trying to remember the Saturday night you did it wrong.

jackiebaron

A lot of people like the thought of getting drunk and snogging a stranger. You can't really do this if you're sat at home, sober as a judge, playing Cluedo with some of your friends.

Also .... there's nothing quite as surefire to ensure your uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness than to "settle" into "sensible" patterns like "having friends over for a meal" or "going for a bike ride".

Giselle

This might be your idea of a bad night:

jackiebaron wrote: »

Also .... there's nothing quite as surefire to ensure your uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness than to "settle" into "sensible" patterns like "having friends over for a meal" or "going for a bike ride".

But this:

A lot of people like the thought of getting drunk and snogging a stranger.

Isn't my idea of a good time.

Everybodys different.

Eviledna

jackiebaron wrote: »

A lot of people like the thought of getting drunk and snogging a stranger. You can't really do this if you're sat at home, sober as a judge, playing Cluedo with some of your friends.

Also .... there's nothing quite as surefire to ensure your uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness than to "settle" into "sensible" patterns like "having friends over for a meal" or "going for a bike ride".

/*facepalm*/

That is a terrible close-minded view on life. Who's to say you can't be sober and go out and snog a stranger? Does it not show more inhibition to do so with no alcohol in your system?

And as for a "uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness" being cycling and dining with friends, I'd hate to be there when the party's over for you!

To be aware that alcohol isn't an option for everyone is to take a mature attitude, and to be able to be with "sober" people and realise that it isn't the drink that makes you have fun, it's the company you are with and the attitude that you can nourish. Please try to open your mind to other ways of being that you haven't experienced.

Poor Craythur

jackiebaron wrote: »

A lot of people like the thought of getting drunk and snogging a stranger. You can't really do this if you're sat at home, sober as a judge, playing Cluedo with some of your friends.

But what of those people (of which I'm one) who like to go OUT and not get drunk? We're not at home playing Cluedo.

jackiebaron wrote: »

Also .... there's nothing quite as surefire to ensure your uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness than to "settle" into "sensible" patterns like "having friends over for a meal" or "going for a bike ride".

Some people never warm to the club scene, even when they are young. Not enjoying one commonplace social activity of your peers =/= a downward trajectory into middle-agedness.

Buceph

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I'm 28 and my social life usually consists of having friends round for dinner or going round to theirs. This has been the case since college. This usually includes wine and beer but not to excess, and it would be normal for some people in the group not to drink for whatever reason (they don't drink, they're the designated driver, they're in training, they don't feel like it). We also often play board games after dinner.

Take this week for example. Last night I had dinner with four friends who live around the corner. I had two glasses of wine and we chatted and played Scrabble til about 11.30pm. Tonight I'm in college, but tomorrow night I'm going to a storytelling event with a friend of mine in town, and then we're going for tapas.

It's interesting that you play boardgames. They're a big driver of my social circle's socialising. I know you probably mean Scrabble and games like that, but there's a whole other world of boardgames out there, ranging from party word games like Apples to Apples, to hugely nerdy things like Heroquest (i.e. a dungeon crawl.)

I love drinking, and do drink to excess, but only very occasionally. Sometimes I just need a big night out. On an average night though it's either going to watch a match in the local and chatting away for the night with a low emphasis on drink or playing games. Last Saturday a friend had a mini-party, and it made me feel very grown up. There were two couples, a father of three teenagers, an accountant, and a few younger (mid-twenties) people. I had a single beer, and that was only because it was a speciality beer, purely for tasting purposes, the rest of the time everyone was drinking tea and coffee and eating cakes that people had brought. We spent from 8pm to 2am playing a variety of boardgames. There were people who had never played them before and a couple of regular gamers, and everyone had a blast. I'd never have met those people if we were just going to the pub, and it was such a different atmosphere to drinking and hugely enjoyable for it.


As a mid-twenties guy, I have no desire to go "on the pull" in clubs. In fact that never worked for me. Pubbing and clubbing doesn't seem to work for meeting people, or expanding your social circle beyond the regulars in your local you chat to over a cigarette. But equally with normal quiet nights in you don't get to meet new people. And I think that's the biggest problem myself and my friends have. We all met each other in University, and since finishing we rarely meet new people. I dunno, we might try art galleries next.



(If anyone's interested in the range of boardgames available you could try the Toys and Boardgames forum in the games section. Or you could just ask here, from what I remember there are a few tabletop gamers hanging around here.)

Poor Craythur

Buceph wrote: »

Pubbing and clubbing doesn't seem to work for meeting people, or expanding your social circle beyond the regulars in your local you chat to over a cigarette. But equally with normal quiet nights in you don't get to meet new people. And I think that's the biggest problem myself and my friends have. We all met each other in University, and since finishing we rarely meet new people. I dunno, we might try art galleries next.

This is exactly the problem my friends and I have. We're all uni friends (all women because I studied a "girly" science discipline, so that's just how it worked out) and it's hard to meet people outside of that. Ireland's dating system is useless, and many people will end up alone because of it! I find it's very hard to form new friendships now, and I find work friendships can be a bit awkward because I was always conscious of not saying or doing anything silly in case it'd affect my work life.

poppyvalley

jackiebaron wrote: »

A lot of people like the thought of getting drunk and snogging a stranger. You can't really do this if you're sat at home, sober as a judge, playing Cluedo with some of your friends.

Also .... there's nothing quite as surefire to ensure your uninterruptable downward trajectory in middle-agedness than to "settle" into "sensible" patterns like "having friends over for a meal" or "going for a bike ride".

thought i'd support you,jackie , you are lost among all these Mary Poppins's

Poor Craythur

poppyvalley wrote: »

you are lost among all these Mary Poppins's

It's attitudes like this that make people feel awkward about not drinking in this country.

Aoifey!

I have to admit, I do drink most weekends and over do it quite a lot. But then again, I'm only 18. Most of my college friends are into the club scene (I did an all female course). And if there's one thing I hate it's clubs. I despise them. I would take sitting in a pub with a bit of music where you can actually HEAR the people you're with anyday over being on a loud, crowded dance floor with drunk girls and guys falling all over the place. This makes it sort of awkward when going out with these friends as we like different things, but we normally compromise a bit. I still have all my friends form home who are more of the "go to a quite local" type so it's not so bad.

My boyfriend hardly ever goes out and would much much rather stay in and do his own thing, so occassionally I'll drag him along so I'm not the only one hating the night club :P.

I'd love to have friends like the OP, I do like going out and drinking, but most of my friends lives seem to revolve around alcohol. I'd like even one or two night a month of hanging out, going for a meal or the cinema.

neuro-praxis

I suppose the reason my social life looks the way it does is because I place a high value on friendship. I work hard and study hard and when I see my friends I want to talk to them, laugh with them and let off a bit of steam. I want to catch up on everything in their lives since I saw them last. Most of the time I am refreshed just by being with them. <edited to add> I don't feel I can enjoy their company very well in an extremely crowded/noisy pub/club (although there's a place for that sometimes)

Again I am seeing that we are unusual...because our social circle is always expanding, too. We can and do invite colleagues, classmates and neighbours to join us. Let's not pretend that people make loads of new friends in pubs and clubs. It just doesn't happen.

There's definitely a hint of the "getting locked and making a tit of yourself in a nightclub" = "cool" and "having a night spent talking, eating and drinking with good friends <and insert board game of choice or bike ride here>" = "lame" or "for old people".

I mean, do what you like, not what you think is cool or most suitable for your age group. Life is short. Do what you enjoy, that's what a social life is all about.

But binge drinking is objectively bad for your physical and mental health, no? Faith who says she binge drinks most weekends (Faith I am assuming so as you have drinks at the house first and then many drinks in the pub) also says she spends Sundays wrapped in paranoia about her behaviour from the night before. (Not picking on you in particular Faith, just using you as an example since you shared.)

I'd agree with some posters who are suggesting that a bit more open-mindedness about what socialising could look like, is called for.

Buceph

Poor Craythur wrote: »

This is exactly the problem my friends and I have. We're all uni friends (all women because I studied a "girly" science discipline, so that's just how it worked out) and it's hard to meet people outside of that. Ireland's dating system is useless, and many people will end up alone because of it! I find it's very hard to form new friendships now, and I find work friendships can be a bit awkward because I was always conscious of not saying or doing anything silly in case it'd affect my work life.

I have big hopes for social networking, but I think it could be a while before it develops to the extent I'm imagining.

I did six months of research for my degree on what the effects of social networking would be for virtual worlds (so MMO's like Eve Online and World of Warcraft.) The advantage of looking at MMO's was that they're based on groups and playing with other people, but geographical or physical networks can't drive it, because most people don't know enough people to form an effective society with them. I concluded that social networks and new media (ranging from blogs to forums all the way to things like facebook) will be a huge factor, and already is in some cases. That they drive how people meet and form groups with common interests.

Universities are partly like that, with everyone going to a course that interests them, so meeting like-minded people, and that extends out to university societies and clubs, and real world sports clubs. But eventually, things will be driven by new media rather than these physical and geographical aspects. Forums provide it to a certain extent already. Last Saturday I went on a Photowalk around Cork with a group that met up from the Boards.ie photo forum. Things like Hackerspaces* are being formed over meetings on the internet, that coalesce into something in a specific locality.

Eventually people will see nothing wrong with using the internet as a social avenue. Whether they go on a Dublin or Cork social network to meet people with similar interests, or whether they go on a worldwide photography network to share their interest and come across people from their area and they meet up.

I know the internet will come good for it eventually, it's already started and I don't think much could stop it. But I'd like to see government/local council support for this type of thing. Youth centres always pop up in community discussions, about giving teenagers who can't drink and have nothing to do someplace to go rather than hanging out on the streets. Surely, if the government want to move the country away from a purely drinking culture, the same approach taken with teenagers needs to apply to adults. The only difference at the moment is that adults have their "community centres" i.e. the pub.

If the government wants people to stop drinking, then why not encourage that through funding activities beyond sports. Boardgames have come up as something people in this thread do. So make a space available for people to meet and do it. A friend uses Wilton library for a kids boardgame group, but what about a night-time venue for adults? He's tried to find places, but they all need money that couldn't be guaranteed when we start out. I'm involved in photography, they're are a couple of groups for it, but nothing solid and it's expensive to get into. Why not have a building for people to meet in, somewhere to borrow cameras from and have a public darkroom. Knitting was a big trend for a while, again, community space for that, the use of a photocopier for advertising. And this applies to hobby after hobby, and interest after interest.

I think the internet will be a big stepping stone in what's needed, and it's already happening. But if the government wants to get us away from being a nation of chronic drinkers, they need to work to find social outlets for the vast number of people who would happily indulge in a pub once a month and but who currently have to spend their time shlepping from living room to living room with a small group of friends, rather than getting out there creating a society with a vast cultural appreciation and involvement.


*Hackerspaces are physical places dedicated to "hacking." Not the movie version of getting into secret government computer networks, but the original meaning of using computers and electronics in new ways. Putting together circuit boards and lights to make decorations, or building 3d printers and that kind of stuff. And Hackerspaces are buildings or apartments that a group of like-minded people rent as a workshop/community area where they can meet and work on projects together.