How big can the age gap be?

qz

56lcd wrote: »

In my humble opinion 10 years would be the absolute acceptable difference

I don't see how people can draw absolute lines like that. I accept that relationships will operate differently and may be doomed from the outset if there is a large age gap (10 years or more) but surely that's best worked out on an individual basis. You know, 'give it a shot' and fúck the numbers.

if a girl is not at least 10 years younger than you then she is far too old.

Maybe it's a bit early, but that's an absolute head-scratcher of a statement.

Most guys prefer girls 18-25

Thanks for the ultra sweeping generalisation there, but you are wrong. Seriously, that's like me saying most girls prefer guys with muscles. Horseshít.

Older than a man is a complete no no.

That's pretty arbitrary no? If your dream partner was a year younger than you you'd say no? What about a month or a week?


Every single aspect of your post just irritates me.

MrStuffins

56lcd wrote: »

Older than a man is a complete no no.

Ridiculous sentence right here :rolleyes:

There's a very very simple answer to this question......... the gap can be whatever it will be. Who cares?

Each person is individual. Just because your sister goes out with a guy 15 years older and it's horrible, that is NO indication of how others in the same situation will be. A couple who are the same age could still be 15 years apart in terms of maturity!

There's 4 years between myself and my girlfriend, i'm 26 and she's 22. No big deal right?

But we got together 5 years ago, when I was 21 and she was 17. And some people didn't like this fact. Is it all of a sudden acceptable to all but because a 26 and a 22 year old is more socially acceptable? Or looks better in text?

Luckily for her, I have the mind of a child :P

allandanyways

I'm seeing a guy who's 28, I'm 20. For the most part, I don't even think about our age difference (he doesn't really act his age and I go on a bit older than I am or at least have been told I do).

I know my mam has a problem with it, but that's her problem. Tbh, he has so much cop on and is so down to earth and chilled out. I don't think guys my own age know their arse from their elbow half the time, definitely think the age difference between myself and him is one of the things that really gels us.

With his personality now, and what he's told me about his life when he was my age, if we had both been 20/21 at the same time, he would have been the kinda lad I avoided, but his age means he's more mellow now and I love that about him.

It can also be a source of laughs. We were in bed listening to music the other night and that song Maniac 2000 came on shuffle and it was weird thinking when that came out (year 2000), I was 10 and in 4th class and he was 18 and tiling bathrooms . :pac:

I think it totally depends on the people involved, as I said I get on really well with yer man and don't really feel the age difference, but I've seen relationships fall apart because someone (usually the guy in my experience) can't handle the age difference.

tbh I don't think, after having such a good experience with someone older than me (and some really shocking bad ones with guys 20-25), I would be hesitant about going out with someone my own age now, but as I said before it would depend on their personality moreso than their age.

Age is nothing but a number in many, many cases.

Toto Wolfcastle

Age is just a number really. As long as you get on well with someone and are at a similar stage of like then there's no problem. There are some people who would never consider dating someone older/younger and that's fine too but you're really limiting yourself if you do that. There are some great people out there of all ages. I'm marrying someone 18 years older than me and couldn't be happier.

MrStuffins

allandanyways wrote: »

It can also be a source of laughs. We were in bed listening to music the other night and that song Maniac 2000 came on shuffle and it was weird thinking when that came out (year 2000), I was 10 and in 4th class and he was 18 and tiling bathrooms . :pac:

As much as i agree with your sentiments............ this part was just amazingly creepy

rebel10

When my sister was 20 she was going out with a 39 yr old for about 3 years. At first we thought it was a bit weird, but after meeting him, we could see they were happy together (while they were together!), so it was none of our business and we couldn't really judge, so no, i don't see an age gap as an issue.

Toto Wolfcastle

MrStuffins wrote: »

As much as i agree with your sentiments............ this part was just amazingly creepy

Seriously? I totally disagree. It's not like they were going out with each other when she was 10 and he was 18. It's just a memory. Nothing creepy about that.

allandanyways

MrStuffins wrote: »

As much as i agree with your sentiments............ this part was just amazingly creepy

But as Bobblehead Panda said, we weren't going out with each other then, just in totally different places in our lives.

I think once you kinda hit your 20s, age doesn't matter so much, because for example now, I'm 20 (nearly 21) and he's 28 and we're both just working and doing normal "grown up" stuff like saving for a holiday and doing the shopping on a Friday.

We're both adults now, and 20 and 28 IMO isn't that bad, because we're both in our 20s, compared to say a couple that are 15 and 21, where it would be much different in terms of where you would be in your life and goals and maturity and stuff.

stupidusername

I would never have thought much about age before, but, and I may be wrong here, my experience with men from more than 3 years younger than me has not been good. I find generally they're not in the same frame of mind as me, and in ways not quite as mature as I would like in a relationship. Now this could've been just those men, but it's been a few now, so I'm kinda starting to say to myself that I'm not going to consider 24 or younger. Maybe I'll be attacked over this, but I feel like it's the right thing to do.

Cheap Thrills!

I never ever looked outside my own age group, it simply never occurred to me.

But I found myself persuaded otherwise, so I decided to evaluate it as I would any other relationship and it worked out well for me.

It's not something I actively sought out.

RosieMarie_91

I'm 19 and wouldnt dreamabout seeing someone the same age or younger than me. The older the better becuase they are more mature. The majority of young fellas out here are bothered about how loud their exhaust is on their car. Where as ide rather a man who is more bothered about the bigger things in life. Age is only a number after all and it annoys me that if a younger girl would be seeing an older gent that she would be classed as a gold digger. People should just mind their own business never mind everyone elses.

Odaise Gaelach

How big "can" it be is ultimately up to the two people entering into the relationship.

For the record, though, I'm a 23-year-old male and I wouldn't mind dating a woman in her early-thirties. I'd be cautious about it though, because she might end up wanting children after a few years; I couldn't see myself wanting children for another decade at least. So we'd probably end up wanting different things because we're at different stages in our lives. That'd be the main problem I'd have with such a large age-gap.

Aoifey!

I think it's more about state of mind rather than actual age. Someone can be 20 and act as if they're 40 and vice versa.

My parents have 3 years between them and they'll be married 25 years in January, so I guess it can work out.

caseyann

Only thing that matters in relationships is you are going the same way want the same things and respect and love each other and trust.

One woman i know is with someone she met when she was fifty and he was thirty.And they are together now 15 years.
Alot of women i know are with guys ten years younger.

Count Duckula

I think the half your age plus seven rule is actually a very good one. Sure, there are relationships that break that rule and work, but then there are people who smoke forty a day who live until they're one-hundred. Doesn't make smoking a good idea.

barleybooley

I don't agree with the "age is just a number" philosophy. The reason it's more acceptable for a 30yo to go out with a 24yo over a 24yo going out with an 18yo is because the percentage difference is smaller for the latter. There's a big difference in terms of life experience and maturity between an 18yo and a 24yo.

Chuchoter

I think age is a lot less important than the stage in your life that you are at. For example, I have this one friend who is in 5th year with me, but she is 18 in April. She's going out with a guy living on his own in college, who although is only 19, is way older than her in terms of where he is in his life and he is totally taking advantage of her.

SuperTyper

My BF is 15 years younger than me, I'm 40. Been together a while and its prob the best relationship I've been in

snorlax

i think it depends on the person, eg how mature they are.

There's plenty of guys who could be a few years older then you but who aren't very mature and also ones the same age who are really mature.

Emme

56lcd wrote: »

Most guys prefer girls 18-25.

and most women prefer men who are at least 6'2" with thick black hair, brown eyes, tanned muscular body, an income of at least €1,000,000 pa and a PhD in astrophysics:rolleyes:

Somebody needs to get real around here.

caseyann

Emme wrote: »

and most women prefer men who are at least 6'2" with thick black hair, brown eyes, tanned muscular body, an income of at least €1,000,000 pa and a PhD in astrophysics:rolleyes:

Somebody needs to get real around here.

HAHA
It all in then end boils down to the click( that has been said in one movie) he is just not that into you That the click is made up lol:p

The_Kew_Tour

Last year I was going with Woman who was 44 and I was 26.

It was not over the age gap that broke off our relationship but fact I had work abroad and she could not commit.

Been one best relationships ever, we still keep in conact as friends and fact she was mature helped that nothing nasty happened in process.

Of all the relationships I have been in short or long its been with the women who are older, in some cases much older that I have got on with best since.

Neyite

20 year gap between my folks - happiest marriage I ever saw.

monty1978

Well, there's a 16 year age gap between myself and my husband, him being the elder!
I don't personally care about the age gap, but what I don't appreciate is the way people start acting funny around you when they are just informed of the age gap or when they notice the age gap (it's hard not to notice), they just go 'Oh.... right.... you're married' and have this disapproving expression on their faces....

Corkblowin

I just realised that I only started saying 'age is just a number' as I got older

To reiterate what many here have said, it really depends on each individual person, I've been with 40 year olds that act like teenagers and 20 somethings that were ready to settle down with their cats & cup of hot chocolate every night.

But there is definitely a societal influence, I was at an open meeting recently where I & several others spoke. Afterwards in the pub I was chatting with one of them, a very well spoken, clever, driven and absolutely gorgeous blonde girl - we were getting on really well, similar outlooks on issues & even where we disagreed there was an understanding of the other point of view. But then she happened to mention she was 23. My initial reaction was that the age gap was too big (I'm 38) no matter how well we got on, and while we chatted a while longer my disappointment coloured the rest of the conversation, eventually we drifted into a larger group & I left without getting any contact info - for which I have been kicking myself since!

I'm ashamed to say that my thoughts were more about what others would think if we did hook up than what i thought of her as a person and so I allowed what could have been at least a friendship slip away. A mistake I won't make again.

Bit of a rambling post I know, but looking back I was surprised at how my mindset changed because of what I thought people might think. If she hadn't mentioned her age I would have asked her to meet again & definitely left with a number - but why should her age have affected how our conversation was going? Because I've been conditioned to think that I'd be portrayed as a dirty old man after only one thing? Because people would frown upon it? Still irritating me!

Ksusha26

My b/f is 20 years older than me (46) and we get on great. He is divorced with 2 kids (1 boy died in a tragic accident 4 years ago). He is emotionally mature and that what makes us compatable, emotionally and sexually. Age should not be a problem IMO.

Jenneke87

There was a 12,5 year age gap between me and my first "boyfriend" (he doesn't deserve that title though) it ended in disaster....I'd never do it again.

I'm 22 at the moment. My fella is 31 and we've no problem with each other. He's a bit depressive so sometimes when he's on a downer he'll go on tangents about being so old and how his young life is over, but in general our differences are a cause for laughs.
Aside from him I went with one guy that was 10 years older than me and another a year younger. Both the former and the latter got too serious for me so we ended up going our separate ways. Just goes to show that it's about WHO you date, not their age!

Average_Joe

OP take no notice of what age they are. If you like them go for it. My wife is ten years younger than me and we are perfectly happy. We got together when I was 24 btw.

coffee_cake

Average_Joe wrote: »

OP take no notice of what age they are. If you like them go for it. My wife is ten years younger than me and we are perfectly happy. We go together when I was 24 btw.

Eh... ;s