How big can the age gap be?

wiger toods

Il just throw this thread here!
Anyway. my sisters boyfriend is the same age as me. He's 26, while the sis is 18. so thats an 8 year gap.
He's a good guy, no probs with him at all, but just watching a programme there on bbc which got me thinking.
How big can the age gap be in a relationship? I always thought 4 maybe 5 years would be fairly normal?????

Larianne

What was the programme on the BBC about?

LegacyUser

My fella is nearly 10yrs younger than me. Not an issue at all. He was 22 when we first got together

Dudess

Thank god we don't REALLY have to adhere to certain age rules (despite people feeling the need to ask permission ). If you like someone, you like someone - if people take issue with the age gap, their problem.

I appreciate significant age gaps/different life stages might cause obstacles, but generally I don't think that's a good reason not to give things a go if you like the person enough...

And "half your age plus seven" - please, for once can that tripe not be given as advice...

boomkatalog

My dude is 26 and I'm about to turn 21, but it's more about where ye are in life and maturity than age.

wiger toods

Larianne wrote: »

What was the programme on the BBC about?

It was actually on channel 4! sorry, i was doing the real couch potato thing of eyes on the computer screen, ears on the tv. Pretty much what im doing now actually still, It was called 'fat gypsy weddings' or something,(There was no footy on) wasnt really paying too much attention to it, just bits and bobs.

GlanGal

i'm 22, there's an age gap of 8 years between my mum and dad but they have been happily married for 24 years. I really think it depends on the guy, if you think he seems okay then don't hold his age against him. I myself have been in many relationships with older guys (never more than 5 years) and i think there is a maturity gap between males and females when they are young, if she's young make sure she doesn't jump into anything but if she's old enough to take care of herself then let her be (but watch out for her obviously)

MrStuffins

Dudess wrote: »

And "half your age plus seven" - please, for once can that tripe not be given as advice...

What?? That's the rule??

Crap, when I was considering my gf, i divided by 7 and added 2! ABORT!! ABORT!!

Asphyxia

Age gaps say nothing about a relationships. My boyfriend is 5 years older than me but we are the best of friends as well. I'm 19 and any guy my own age come across as being very immature to me so I tend to be interested in older guys.

17 years between my parents and they have been married for the past 31 years this July

wiger toods

GlanGal wrote: »

i'm 22, there's an age gap of 8 years between my mum and dad but they have been happily married for 24 years. I really think it depends on the guy, if you think he seems okay then don't hold his age against him. I myself have been in many relationships with older guys (never more than 5 years) and i think there is a maturity gap between males and females when they are young, if she's young make sure she doesn't jump into anything but if she's old enough to take care of herself then let her be (but watch out for her obviously)

It runs in my family actually. 7 years between my mum and dad. same again for my grandparents (god rest them) and same again for my older recently married sister. 7 is the magic number it seems!
Also, i dont hold his age against him at all, he's a good lad. Head screwed on and all that.
Actually the only problem i have with him, is the bolox has no interest in footy whatsoever! The big weirdo!!:D

Plumbers

I'm nearly 10yrs older than my fella. Not an issue at all. He was 23 when we got together He's still a right pain the ass tho :mad: oh i'm so luvved up today

magneticimpulse

Yeah Im 30 and I normally pull 20 yr old guys.

Very funny...because when I was 21 I was going out with 30 year olds...spent so long dating 30 something year olds that now ive finally reached 30...im happy dating what i missed out on 1st time round.

Most of my 30 something year old friends are dating guys 20 - 23 yr olds. They are actually far more mature and less relationship baggage doom and gloom then alot of 34 yr old guys i know.

RacoonQueen

I normally go for older guys. Smallest age gap for me over the last few years was 3 years. Biggest 10 years - and this one was the only real relationship.

Irish_Elect_Eng

The whole age gap thing is a self-imposed social restriction.

While there are certainly some advantages to both partners being in the same life-stage, there are also many things where the man and womans needs are out of sync at the same ages.

IMO It really just comes down to 3 things:

(1) Cupid, you really can't chose who you fall in love with. Just go for it.
(2) Personal taste, needs and upbringing.
(3) Maturity/Insecurity of the couple in the relationship.

Good Luck to your sister and her partner, support them.

Azureus

I've only actually ever been with guys 2-3 years older than me but I wouldnt have a problem with a bigger age gap at all. there was 30 years between my parents and while it caused some problems (mainly other peoples preconceptions and opinions getting in the way) it was never really an issue for them.

coffee_cake

smallest age gap was a year, too young
largest was 11 years, didnt work out because of other reasons

OH is 5 years older than I am, that's just right

Your sis is over 18 so after that I think it's up to the people themselves

squeakyduck

Age doesn't really matter one your are over your 20's in my opinion. One of my best friends was 14 when she got with a 28 year old, there was absolute war over it. But, when you are that young there is something wrong.

I'm 2 weeks older than my boyfriend.

My sister is 37 this year and is going out with a 50 year old. They gel well together, but she has been on the dating scene for years.

Novella

It's funny - my granny was older than my grandad, my mum is older than my dad and I'm older than my boyfriend. It's a running joke now that we have a thing for younger men. I dunno though, age means nothing really as long as it's not illegal and all that stuff. Compatibility and happiness, that's what counts.

G86

I think that from the ages of 16-24 there's generally a pretty big maturity gap between girls and guys. My first 'proper' boyfriend was 7 years older than me, and since then it's been a bit of a running trend, with anything from 3-13 years in the difference. I've dated 2 guys a year or 2 younger, but it was never serious...I found we had completely different goals/outlooks.

starlit

To be honest anything between a 1 year to 5 year age gap wouldn't be a big deal for me. I prefer younger men but older men are grand if they are mature for their age within reason of course. If they older than me and acting chidlish and not their age then I wouldn't go out with that kind of person. I rather a younger man who is mature for his age like! The age gap closes in as you age anyway once over the age of 30! Just that the stages of life between teens and 30's can vary and affect people of certain ages depending on life goals and interests etc. I'v only ever gone out with younger guys over older ones very few older ones.

When in your 20's you want to travel and go to parties etc in your 30's you want to settle a bit so couples may want different things when one is in their 20's and the other in their 30's or 40's that age gap will appear a bit more. Age is just a number. What ever floats their boat everyone is different and likes certain types of people others are open to what ever and don't have a type. I suppose once you click then the rest is history...

lrushe

Novella wrote: »

It's funny - my granny was older than my grandad, my mum is older than my dad and I'm older than my boyfriend. It's a running joke now that we have a thing for younger men. I dunno though, age means nothing really as long as it's not illegal and all that stuff. Compatibility and happiness, that's what counts.

I've something similar.
My mother was 10 years older than my dad, when she died my dad got remarried to a woman 10 years younger than him and now there is a 10 year age gap between me and my bf.
If people are compatable I don't think age will matter.

mood

Generally I the 5 years older/younger is ok depending on the two people involved. I find I get on better with guys around my own age but there are always exceptions.

sam34

meh, i spent a year going out with a man who was 23 years older than me.

the age gap wasnt an issue for us. we wanted the same things from life, and were evry happy together. the age factor wasnt teh reason we broke up.

inevitable, we attracted the sugar daddy comments from people too narrow-minded to comprehend that people of such different ages could be happy together, but i couldnt care less about those kinds of people.

pow wow

Whatever suits both parties once it's legal. Not trying to be flippant but it generally is a really personal thing. My sis is 4 years older than her OH and it works, I tried dating a guy 4 years younger than me and it drove me nuts. My bfs have usually been much much older than me up until now (10+ years) and there's been no issue.

So, legalities aside of course, whatever floats your boat.

daenerysstormborn3

My boyfriend is 11 years older than me. I've only been with one guy my own age and that was a nightmare, I was so bored. I've always been known as an "old soul in a young body" so the majority of my friends are a good bit older than me too.

The age difference isn't relevant to our relationship. We are matched as people not because of our age difference.

princess-lala

My brothers wife is 12 years older than him!

Age is just a number! So long as you are both over the legal age anything is possible imo!

krudler

squeakyduck wrote: »

Age doesn't really matter one your are over your 20's in my opinion. One of my best friends was 14 when she got with a 28 year old, there was absolute war over it. But, when you are that young there is something wrong.

Err, yeah I think most people would draw the line at dating someone who's barely a teenager when you're in your late 20's

I was 5 years older than my ex, I've actually only dated one person older than me and that was only by a few weeks, everyone else has been 1-5 years younger than me.

Princess Peach

Depends on the person! I'm 23 and I'm seeing a guy who's 31. But I feel our maturity levels are about the same! Also depends what both people want from the relationship. Some guys in their 30s might be wanting to get serious and settle down, I don't want that at all right now. So you can't really say if someone is too old just based on the number, has to be the person too. I've always been with older guys, very rarely been with guys my own age and never with younger guys, but it wouldnt bother me if girls are with younger guys.

Cheap Thrills!

My BF is 11 years younger, we are together 3.5 years and very happy.

Well I am anyway lol

56lcd

In my humble opinion 10 years would be the absolute acceptable difference .... if a girl is not at least 10 years younger than you then she is far too old.
Most guys prefer girls 18-25.
Older than a man is a complete no no.

qz

My missus just turned 27 and I'm 21. Age really is just a number but I do believe that it may at some stage become an issue for the elder one in the sense that they may want to 'settle down' for want of a better word, while the younger may not be as prepared. It all depends on the couple.

As an aside, my stepfather is 19 years old than my Mum, and my Dad is 20 years older than my stepmother. Dirty dogs. Also, first post in TLL how exciting.