That time of year again... The dreaded Love Day

Nervous Wreck

So, Valentine's Day.... Do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you even take notice? What's the best present you've ever given/received? For the married couples, do you still celebrate it? Any entertaining stories?


For me, I guess I have mixed feelings. When I'm in a longterm relationship, I tend to fully embrace it. When yer in a LTR, it's nice to have a random day in Feb where you kinda have to spoil each other a little bit. Apart from that though, it's kinda lame. For me anyway. I used to go along with the "let's be bitter" brigade and make scowly faces at people who were all happy and lovey-dovey but now I just kinda like seeing people happy anyway.

Best present I ever got sounds kinda lame I guess but I was 15 and she was my first love and we'd been together a week... She gave me 3 Double Decker bars and a Green Day CD. I made her listen to the CD over and over and over; I loved it. It was one of the best present I've ever gotten, purely for the thought. So simple but so spot on.

Best present I ever gave was a couple years ago when I took my then girlfriend to Bruges for a weekend. I ended up having to upgrade the flights and hotel cos she moaned about them. But she assured me she'd give me a great present when we got there. Turned out the 'great present' was that she'd bought herself some 'sexy underwear'. They weren't so much sexy as they were matching. She bought herself some matching underwear. From Penneys. I spend a grand on a weekend away and she spends 30 quid on knickers and bras. Whore.

Anyway! What say yee, ladies/man-ladies?

rainbow kirby

It's just an excuse for Hallmark to make a crapload of money. Can't stand it.

Asphyxia

I like Valentines day even if it was just scam for money! :rolleyes:

I like the way that there's one day of the year where a couple can just drop everything and be together. The funny thing is you don't have to spend money, lots of people think Valentines is about buying all these expensive gifts and wasting lots of money on crap. Last year I handmade all my gifts from things I had at home and I baked some Valentines desserts and it was a lot more special

This year we might go out and have a meal and maybe see a movie or even head back to the house and have a snuggle night in Whatever we do It will be great

Ickle Magoo

It's right next to my birthday so it's always been a non-event in lieu of birthday celebrations....I think valentines is a complete hallmark day anyway, so no I can't imagine I'd be a fan regardless.

StereoLove

I really hate Valentine's Day. It's just an excuse for all the big countries to make a crapload of money:rolleyes:

spinandscribble

I like the idea of a day a year to mark love. But the fact its just an excuse to sell tacky bullpoop does put me off it.

merlie

Valentines Day is just another word for shops to get their hands on your money! Why does it have to be one day in the year when you declare to your OH that you love and appreciate them and give them gifts? Should one not let the other know everyday how special they are in your life!

Azureus

I agree that its a hallmark holiday, and anybody who bought me somethin along the lines of a big teddy with a heart would be waaaay off the mark, but I do think its nice to have a day when you can set some time aside for eachother. Yes, you should make this effort all the time, but 1) fact is a lot of people dont, and 2) its an excuse to go that extra mile at a time when most people are either broke or working their asses off for hsrdly anything. Its not about money and fancy gifts, my favourite part of Valentines day is the cards I get from my bf that say in writing how he feels about me.

Its also two of my best friends bdays on Vday (what are the chances?) so me and the fella usually go out for dinner/drinks and then meet up with everyone in a club afterwards. I havent had a bad experience yet, but then again pre-recession hitting us, going out for dinner was a regular thing so its nice to have an excuse to do it on valentines

All my single mates love valentines day too as its the one night of the year where they ca go out and absolutely without fail score!

Morgase

I completely ignore Valentine's Day; it means absolutely nothing to me. It seems forced and un-romantic, to me its an arbitrary day chosen by outsiders to celebrate the relationship. Anniversaries however; they mean far far more to me.

I dont really care about it whether im in a relationship or not. I like giving anf receiving little nice surprises any time. I guess now this is a ldr, any time together is special enough! I don't think ive given or gotten pressies specifically for v day??

tman

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

For me, I guess I have mixed feelings. When I'm in a longterm relationship, I tend to fully embrace it. When yer in a LTR, it's nice to have a random day in Feb where you kinda have to spoil each other a little bit.

How is a specific day in Feb in any way "random"? its the total opposite ffs!
By all means spoil the crap out of your other half on a random day of the year, but why Feb 14th of all days???!? Tis a load of ****e if you ask me!
Love should be all about spontaneity, not setting a certain day aside for "being romantic"
Bleurgh!!!

MagicMarker

Valentines day has always been just another day. I've never paid much notice.

Maple

All I know about Valentines this year is that it's driving up the prices of hotels for me, I'm trying to go somewhere that bloody weekend!

In a relationship, meh I do like to mark it, but it's really about how you treat your OH the other 360 odd days of the year and not just on this one. But I do like to mark it, although my ex was not impressed the year I forgot.

My favourite part has always been the card, my ex was not the most vocal with regards his feelings but I always knew he loved me because of his actions, but every year we were together on Valentines/Birthdays/Christmas/random occasions he would buy a beautiful plain card and write a few words about how much I meant to him.

blue5000

Reading the posts above we are a cynical lot, big day for hallmark and all that. But I like valentines day, gave a dozen red roses once and she was thrilled so I still like to remember the day. Got in trouble:eek: a few times too but that's another long story.....

krudler

Ironically its the most unromantic day of the year, whats romantic about being told you have to show your feelings for someone? do it any other day of the year and it means so much more.

ElleEm

I'm not into the mushy love heart and flowers stuff, but I do like to acknowledge it. I don't save up all my love for that day though- I love buying my boyfriend little pressies, do it every month or two, whether it's a CD, new jeans or top. I love cooking so any excuse to make a lovely meal and have candles and all is a goer for me! For this year, I found a course for a subject he's really interested in and booked him onto that..

I know that in an ideal world people in relationships would show their appreciation for each other all year round, but that's not always the case. I have friends that wait all year for Valentine's Day or anniversaries to be treated well and bought presents by their boyfriends

Sanjuro

I knew this girl way, way back in the golden days of my youth. She lived on my road and I had a massive crush on her. When I was about 14, I went out with my pocket money and bought a Valentine's Day card for her. I drew a big question mark in it, wrote 'guess who,' stuck a stamp on it and sent it to her. Nothing came of it.

About 4 years later, I happened to be friends with her as my girlfriend of the time was in her class in school. We were all talking about Valentine's as it was coming up. This girl starts to tell a story- 'The best Valentine's Day I ever had was when I got an anonymous card in the post...' and went on to describe the card I had sent. I never told her it was me, but I was damn chuffed it made her day.


Now, after only spending a handful of Valentine's Days with someone, dotted throughout my teens and 20's, I have adopted the cynical, 'to hell with Valentine's Day, and to hell with happy couples' attitude! Look at them all there, being all happy with each other! Screw em!

Sofiztikated

Bleh.

Not a fan.

Had a brother killed on his way home from a Valentines disco many years ago, and I'm just not big on the forced "YOU MUST SPEND THIS MUCH ON EACH OTHER TO SHOW LOVE!"

We're together 9 years this year, and getting married in Sep, I would imagine she knows I love her.

I'm off work for the 14th for a change, so we can spend the day together, we'll cook a nice dinner, open a nice bottle of wine (followed by another cheaper bottle of wine ) and have a nice easy going day.

Possibly because I work in Hospitality, but going out for V Day is the worst thing I could think of! Overpriced, average food, service poor because they're flat out? No thanks.

Best present I ever gave was when we were going out just less than a year. I ordered a big bunch of red roses, and got them delivered to her in school (:eek: Makes me sound like a paedo now! There's only 2 years in the difference, I was 19, her 17.). I called in a favour at the school, and she got called out of class down to the reception area. When she got down, a lot of her class had followed her, and she was presented with this massive bunch of flowers in front of everyone. She was both mortified and dead impressed at the time. (One of the girls knew her boyfriend was getting her flowers that day, so she rang him to get him to deliver them to the school as well. She just got a message saying "There's a delivery for you. Pick it up after school.")

Best present I got? Well, herself got me a ring, it's like one of those blackstone (onyx?) rings only its not black. In a dull light, it looks black, but in nice light you can see it's deep purple with speckly bits. It never comes off my finger except for when I'm in the shower. It's the only piece of gold jewellry I've ever worn that suits me.

Truley

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Best present I ever gave was a couple years ago when I took my then girlfriend to Bruges for a weekend. I ended up having to upgrade the flights and hotel cos she moaned about them.

Wow - Seriously?

I would have left her in Bruges :mad:

Count Duckula

This thread seems a little bitter and judgmental! By all means choose to disregard Valentines Day if you find it artificial and pointless, but please don't cast aspersions on those people who do enjoy it. It can be nice to spend a day making time for one another in otherwise hectic lives. It's a bit of a false argument to call it a "spend your money day" because I don't think anyone truly expects a fortune to be spent on them by a partner; they just want to be totally spoiled in love.

It's all very well to say that you should show love the other three-hundred and sixty-four days of the year, but the fact is that Valentine's Day gives you a chance to just totally focus on one another. You can't do that on any other day, because then nothing would ever get done. Real life gets in the way. An arbitrary date or not (and it's no less arbitrary than any other holiday positioned in the calendar for religious or historical reasons), it gives couples the opportunity to shove everything else aside and enjoy each other's company.

I know my girlfriend reads this site - and knows who I am - and I know she's very anti-Valentines. She's also anti-birthdays, anti-Christmas and anti-Easter. I won't be making the mistake of buying "silly" presents because they'd be so badly received I might as well have torched her house. And I totally understand that viewpoint. It won't upset me not to celebrate Valentines Day; if she doesn't want to, then I suppose it saves both of us money.

But to judge people that do want to celebrate it - to go so far as suggesting (even through implication) that they're idiots or sheep for doing so - is incredibly cruel and judgemental.

CathyMoran

Have finally gone off the idea of the day - we always made a huge fuss of our first date as it was a lot longer than our wedding day and we still do that. The idea of the excess costs on Valentines Day and the long lead up to it is just too much though. I believe in being romantic in some small way every day.

Malari

I only once gave a card to my boyfriend, but it was a Little Britain speaking card with Andy going "I want that one!" Not a loveheart in sight.;)
[Embedded Image Removed]

Whispered

Malari wrote: »

I only once gave a card to my boyfriend, but it was a Little Britain speaking card with Andy going "I want that one!" Not a loveheart in sight.;)
[Embedded Image Removed]

:-o I HAVE to get one of those.

My OH is the least romantic person in the world. Last year for V-day, I received a teddy I already owned, a packet of mini mars from the fridge and a book which his mam sent down for me as she had finished reading it (he tried to pass it off as one he bought not realising I had been speaking to her). All well and good, I laughed, said you're a lazy so and so and got on with the dinner I was making for us.

Even though at the time I wasn't upset he had made no effort, a month later he pulled the same crap on my birthday and I got so upset. Feeling like, no effort for valentines day, no effort for my birthday. So even though I'd like to think it doesn't bother me, deep down it did. Not a lack of pressies or anything, just a lack of thought/effort.

krudler

Whispered wrote: »

:-o I HAVE to get one of those.

My OH is the least romantic person in the world. Last year for V-day, I received a teddy I already owned, a packet of mini mars from the fridge and a book which his mam sent down for me as she had finished reading it (he tried to pass it off as one he bought not realising I had been speaking to her). All well and good, I laughed, said you're a lazy so and so and got on with the dinner I was making for us.

Even though at the time I wasn't upset he had made no effort, a month later he pulled the same crap on my birthday and I got so upset. Feeling like, no effort for valentines day, no effort for my birthday. So even though I'd like to think it doesn't bother me, deep down it did. Not a lack of pressies or anything, just a lack of thought/effort.

wow thats pretty crap, a homemade card and day out would easily have done.

Censorsh!t

I prefer being single for valentines day as its a good excuse to go to the cinema with friends and gorge on food :P

I dont like being in a relationship for it as i find it extremely cringy and feel forced to show feelings.

I remember last valemtines me and my ex were at a really bad part of our relationship (or at least i was anyway, i just wanted out) and it was the worst day ever, he was being disgustingly lovey dovey and i just felt guilty and embarrassed and frustrated and everything! Ugh! I broke up with him the week after. Bad memories.

I cant even remember anything regarding presents.

This year i hope to get wasted in a friends house

Morgase

I think what irritates me the most about Valentine's Day is that isn't it normally the man who is expected to buy flowers etc. and take his girlfriend / wife out to dinner? Maybe things have changed in that regard so I'm open to correction.

But if that is the way things are generally, then it really does make it seem like it's up to the man to do all the running while the woman just accepts all these tokens of affection.

Whereas at least if it's your wedding anniversary / anniversary of your first date / whatever, wouldn't both parties be more inclined to do something for each other?

Count Duckula

I'd argue, Morgase, that firstly sometimes the man likes to do all those things! You make it sound as if men are forced into it, well in my experience a lot of men do actually enjoy pampering their partners.

Secondly, if it's the imbalance that annoys you, perhaps rather than disregarding the whole day because the man does the work and the woman doesn't, the woman could instead put in an equal amount of effort. I don't believe that to be true anyway, by the way, since it's a well known societal trope that women will spend hours choosing the right Valentine's Day card whereas men will buy the first one they see when putting petrol in their cars. Now, that's not true either, but the very fact that such a stereotype exists shows that women obviously put effort into Valentine's Day!

Also, by saying that men often do all the work whilst women do nothing, that's drawing very strict gender lines. What about gay couples? If both partners were women would they sit staring at each other waiting for the other to take them out for a meal? I don't think so somehow!

Thirdly, if we're really going to get rational here and dismiss Valentine's Day as merely just another day on the calendar, why do things differently for an anniversary? Surely you should express your love for one another every day, not merely on one particular day simply because the Earth happens to be in the same position relative to the sun as it was when you first met / kissed / got married?

Valentine's Day, just like an anniversary, is an emotive festival that exists purely to indulge in your partner when you otherwise might not. Sure, it would be pointless if couples did that anyway, but the fact is that most don't - people don't set aside a day because there's simply too much else to do. Having a culture-wide day like this allows people that time.

ztoical

I've never done anything 'romantic' for the 14th when single or in a relationship, it's such a none entity in my calender that most years I don't even notice it unless something else is on [14th was Chinese new year last year]. I get what people are saying about liking a day to spoil OH but it just seems so forced to do it on a set day. I'd much rather pick a date at random and say that day is spoil them day. It's like waiting till mothers day to do something nice for your mum, just don't get it. Doing it on a day you want means you'd actually stand a chance of getting a table booking somewhere, flower prices aren't jacked up and you can get nice chocolates/cards etc not the uber tacky red heart crap.

spinandscribble

Truley wrote: »

Wow - Seriously?

I would have left her in Bruges :mad:

If it had been me, she'd have never made it to Bruges :mad:

Whispered

krudler wrote: »

wow thats pretty crap, a homemade card and day out would easily have done.

Switching off the phone and helping me with dinner would have done!!:D

I think though this year he might have copped on a bit, as far as I know he has something planned for my birthday already and is intent on suprising me. To be fair I do come across as if I don't give a hoot, so I think he was suprised I got so upset over it. I was suprised myself!

Watch this space!

Morgase

Morgase wrote: »

I think what irritates me the most about Valentine's Day is that isn't it normally the man who is expected to buy flowers etc. and take his girlfriend / wife out to dinner? Maybe things have changed in that regard so I'm open to correction.

Judging by posts I saw the last few v-days about what women should expect and demand for v-day with no mention of anything in return, I sincerely hope but doubt that anything has changed. That really would irk me.

Count Duckula wrote: »

Secondly, if it's the imbalance that annoys you, perhaps rather than disregarding the whole day because the man does the work and the woman doesn't, the woman could instead put in an equal amount of effort. I don't believe that to be true anyway, by the way, since it's a well known societal trope that women will spend hours choosing the right Valentine's Day card whereas men will buy the first one they see when putting petrol in their cars. Now, that's not true either, but the very fact that such a stereotype exists shows that women obviously put effort into Valentine's Day!

Never heard this

Thirdly, if we're really going to get rational here and dismiss Valentine's Day as merely just another day on the calendar, why do things differently for an anniversary?

Because for an anniversary, it's got specific memories and history for the couple. Sure, I don't care about the specific day in my own relationship, just "oh it was around this week sometime, that's nice"

Whispered

To be honest I never got the feeling men were expected to do more for V-day, I always thought it was a 50/50 thing.

Count Duckula

bluewolf wrote: »

Never heard this

Perhaps it's a British thing! There was an advert once that summed it up perfectly, I wish I could remember for what product because it was brilliant. It showed a woman browsing through an entire aisle of Valentine's Day cards, looking through dozens, trying to find the perfect one. Then it cut to the man and he was buying petrol, and as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket he just reached over and pulled the nearest card out of the small display on the counter.

bluewolf wrote: »

Because for an anniversary, it's got specific memories and history for the couple. Sure, I don't care about the specific day in my own relationship, just "oh it was around this week sometime, that's nice"

Well the only memory an anniversary has is that first one. All subsequent anniversary memories are only memories because they were done on that day. Valentine's Day could hold lots of happy memories in the same way if people celebrated it and did something special each year.

Neyite

Best Valentine was the first one with himself.

He (who would burn water) cooked me a 3 course meal. That knocked my socks off because he didnt just buy something, he spent hours slaving outside his comfort zone to give me something nice.

Usually we stay in, snuggle up with after a nice home cooked dinner with a bottle of wine or two, nice treats, a good movie and an early night .

LenaClaire

My first real date with my husband was valentine's day; he waited too late and all the big shops were closed and so he bought me a kinder egg at a little corner shop. I thought it was cute and so now just about every year I get a kinder egg for valentine's day.

We don't really do much else as neither of us really are the type to make a big deal out of it, it is just a reminder of our first date and I think it is very sweet.

midlandsmissus

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

It's right next to my birthday so it's always been a non-event in lieu of birthday celebrations....I think valentines is a complete hallmark day anyway, so no I can't imagine I'd be a fan regardless.

Snap. My brithday is a few days after it, used to think it sucked as I'd always get teh one present for the two days.

Now i'm older and appreciate the real things and I quite like being born in the week of love! It's a nice week to be born in I think.

Maj Malfunction

Its right next to my own birthday, so myself and my wife tend to celebrate my birthday a week or two later.

Valentine's day is probably the worst day to eat in a restaurant, food is usually below par and the people are crammed in like sardines and if I brought flowers home, my wife would be wondering what I did wrong and what I was trying to apologise for!

Much better to get a nice bottle of wine and bring home a box of chocolates and have a nice home cooked meal.

phasers

I hate valentines day, I'm single so always get roped into babysitting other people's kids! I think I'll invent a boyfriend this year so they won't pester me.

Lia_lia

Why do people care so much about being single/having a partner? I don't understand why people get so upset on valentine's day if they are single I am single, and was single last year, and valentines day doesn't upset me in the least. Never really "celebrated" it either whenever I've been in relationships.

Anyway I'll probably be working. Most likely in the restaurant/residents bar of the hotel I work in. So I get to see annoying couples being lovey dovey.

Puke.

starlit

Nay. Don't like valentines day. Its a money making racket. I treat it like any other day. I find other special holidays and occasions worth more when celebrating those days. I've never had a bf or even gone out with someone on valentines day so cynical about that cause I've always been single for valentines day and never gone out for it. Its so clichéd to have to go out for valentines day and send valentines day messages/give gifts/cards. If I got a card at all it be a farce or a joke on me it be from a family member prentending I have an admirer when I don't. So wouldn't like to be sent a card unless I was seeing someone or had a bf. I can't stand it I prefer romance any time of the year than just to have to romance for one day. Its means very little if you romance someone for one day and not do so any other day of the year!?

Puke - yuck! Gross day if you ask me having to see people display pda's on the day its sickening so surely those loved up could go do it in private and in their own time without other people looking at them whether single or not!? Personally if I were going out with someone I wouldn't want much to do with valentines at all! A card be enough or just stay in or something not to show off blah blah...valentines day doesn't mean much to me!

squishykins

I don't celebrate Valentine's day per se, we give each other cards with really nice messages but that's it I use every day to show him how much he means to me

KiLLeR CoUCh

My grandad died a few years ago on Valentine's day, so for a couple of years afterwards I found it a really upsetting day. All the teddies and heart shaped crap in the shops seemed even more superfluous than usual. The year after his death my ex got into a serious mood because I didn't want to celebrate it in any way and I hadn't made him a card. I frequently went out of my way to do nice things for him as well, so it's not like he was deprived of affection either.

My OH now understood completely why I didn't even want the day mentioned last year so this year I've made him a card (I didn't know if I'd have time closer to the day so I have it made and stored away) and I'm going to make him cookies. Nothing big or flashy, just something so he knows I appreciate him. I certainly wont be going near a hotel or restaurant. Regardless of how I feel about the day I'd never let myself be ripped off that badly

Cgoodie

It's my birthday so there's always a card for me...even if it is from my mammy & daddy:D

It's a bit of a crap day for a birthday at times though because it's not a great night for going out or eating out.

Novella

I think V Day is ridiculous, but... I still kinda like it.

snooleen

I agree that it's a Hallmark day and a silly waste of money. Best Valentines Day was the first one with the OH when he got me a little bouquet of red flowers and we went to Dublin Zoo and made out beside the elephants (we were 15/16).

This year he asked if I wanted a big deal-I said no, were both just gonna have dinner at home together and he said I'm allowed watch one of my soppy films :P So basically an ordinary night in for us. We'll each write a little letter to eachother because we both find cards stupid. I think it's nice in the sense that we both know we'll be spending that day together.

magneticimpulse

Im not a big fan of Valentines and have never enjoyed it when Ive had a boyfriend. Its always been hyped up and hate going to restaurants that are overpriced.

Also one year ex went to the trouble of ordering roses...however I did want to stay at home alone over valentines (he was working in Ireland...im abroad) and had already made plans to visit some girly friends. He then had to tell me he had ordered roses to be delivered. Obviously i never got them on Valentines as I was away. (it was a saturday). So come Monday I went to florists after work but it was closed. Tuesday it closed even earlier. Finally got them on the Wednesday (5 days after valentines)...they were nearly dead and only lasted that night and died the next day. He had ordered champagne and chocolates...instead the florist gave me sparkling peach juice that had gone brown and was out of date...and coffee flavoured sweets. It was just awful and i felt really bad as ex had spent €100 on them and it just was not good service at all.

Another year a different guy, never booked a restaurant, so we spent the whole evening wandering around lots of towns in Holland looking for a free table. In the end, he managed to find one at 11pm in a restaurant near his house.

Then another year (another ex)...was driving and we went to the restaurant. So it was only me drinking the wine. Half way into the meal I was completely pissed and he got really angry over it!! He didnt get me roses or chocolates and because i was so pissed i made a comment over it. I normally would expect things, but it was the 1st boyfriend i ever had during Valentines and I think I was about 22!!! When you spend your life never getting a Valentines card because your single, you at least expect something after 22 years. We ended up having a fight. It was so horrible.


As a woman its one day of the year I like to hide away at home and just hope Valentines disappears quickly.

shrewd

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

....... I spend a grand on a weekend away and she spends 30 quid on knickers and bras. Whore.

Anyway! What say yee, ladies/man-ladies?

best part in bold :D

RacoonQueen

I'm not a very soppy/emotional person so when I'm in a relationship I hate it because it's stupid. When I'm not, I hate it because I'm bitter. :pac:

An ex used to send me flowers on the 10th and wish me a happy 10th of February. I miss that.

MissOphelia

I made a card for my now ex last year, covered it with hearts etc. I spent ages looking in antique/junk shops for an old fashioned ornate key which I tied on the card with red ribbon and a message along the lines of 'you have the key to my heart'. I made a little heart shaped cake too. He surprised me with an overnight in a 5 star hotel which was bliss.
When we split up he returned the card and he'd ripped it up in bits :mad:
Hate Valentines this year, too many memories..

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I look at Valentines as being kinda cheesey, like the 80's. But like the 80's you can have good fun with it if you just take the piss and have a laugh. And you'll probably have a much better night than if you were staring into each others eyes through the candle light in some soppy restaurant
:pac:

yogalady

Hi all
I am recently out of a five year relationship. Was devastated when it ended. Came out of the blue. Still picking up the pieces but doing ok. I would like to do something nice for MYSELF on valentines day and not having it being about memories of the past.

anyone any suggestions?
I just want to be kind and loving to myself on the day. God knows I need it as do many more women out there i'm sure. I be very grateful for any ideas

Thanks
x