Haven't touched a drop in...

auldgranny

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

This day 2 weeks ago was when I last time I drank alcohol. It's been a real roller coaster over the past 14 days. I'm back eating & sleeping better... Trying to look after the basics first. Still super anxious but crying less! I had tickets to a gig tonight & was due to head to a party, with staying overnight after as it's in a different county. I cancelled though. Would have been a party hard job. I'm at home now though & kind of at a loss for plans. It's not easy. I think I'll head to a meeting instead! It's early days & I do know I need to create new activities/opportunities in the absence of drink. Thanks to all who contribute to these threads

Well done. Hang in there.

Abcxyz12345

Thank you. I went to a mtg that I hadn't been to before. I'm still trying to figure out what ones suit me - I was the only girl at mtg last night & they were all a good bit older etc. Still though they were kind & encouraging - even if it wasn't exactly the Halloween I had in mind!

auldgranny

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Thank you. I went to a mtg that I hadn't been to before. I'm still trying to figure out what ones suit me - I was the only girl at mtg last night & they were all a good bit older etc. Still though they were kind & encouraging - even if it wasn't exactly the Halloween I had in mind!

Well done. I need to go to a meeting and I am afraid to.

marienbad

auldgranny wrote: »

Well done. I need to go to a meeting and I am afraid to.

Never be afraid to go to a meeting , we are all there for the same reasons you are and coming from the same place you are .

And if you are a newcomer we need you just as much as you need us , it is essential to be reminded of what it is like at the coalface lest complacency set in .

marienbad

figs666 wrote: »

what exactly is an alcohlic ?

Here is the screening process from Johns Hopkins University

http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/recovery/addiction/johns-hopkins-test-for-alcholism.php

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3 and a half days. Feels like forever but I am proud.

Amazingfun

figs666 wrote: »

what exactly is an alcohlic ?

Alcoholic's Anonymous sets out two questions to ask yourself:

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

The first question refers to the mental obsession with alcohol, the seeming inability we have to leave it alone no matter what the many past drinking disasters have been.
The second refers to the physical "allergy", the strange reaction we have to alcohol once we start to drink. For me it's encapsulated in the line "I take the drink and the drink takes me".

http://www.aaukiah.org/Is_AA_for_you_.html

Abcxyz12345

One of the things I've heard in meetings is the idea of 'not yet'. As I wrote in pervious posts, I didn't think I was bad enough for AA as I hadn't lost my job, house etc. But I really do believe that it was only a matter of time - I just hadn't yet. So many people in AA have shared that they have been in similar situations to me - and they also doubted themselves that they needed AA. I had certainly lost any normality in my life over the past few months - and my head.

I have gone into meetings & have been so welcomed. I have listened to people share similar experiences to mine & their positive experiences since they began to be involved with AA & tbh I want what they talk about so I'm goin to stick it out & try it. I know AA is going to be just one part of my sober life but I hope it will be an important one.

Do go to a mtg & good luck x

GerB40

6 months sober today and I'm celebrating my half year by staying home and reading a book. I honestly didn't believe I'd last this long and in some ways it's getting easier. Last night was tough though, seeing all my friends going out for Halloween divilment and knowing that, for better or worse, I can never get up to that sort of craic again was hard. The feeling passed and today, for the first time in 12 years, I'm not nursing a savage hangover on November 1st. Which is nice...

Amazingfun

GerB40 wrote: »

6 months sober today and I'm celebrating my half year by staying home and reading a book. I honestly didn't believe I'd last this long and in some ways it's getting easier. Last night was tough though, seeing all my friends going out for Halloween divilment and knowing that, for better or worse, I can never get up to that sort of craic again was hard. The feeling passed and today, for the first time in 12 years, I'm not nursing a savage hangover on November 1st. Which is nice...

I bet this time next year you'll be the one havin the best time out with all the maniacs--and it won't bother you one bit that they're drinking and you're not.

mickstupp

Close to seven years.

Every year on my new birthday I get myself something nice that has nothing to do with work or study or anything or anyone else. Gift from me to me. So that's something I'm looking forward to.

But every day is still hard.

Amazingfun

mickstupp wrote: »

Close to seven years.

Every year on my new birthday I get myself something nice that has nothing to do with work or study or anything or anyone else. Gift from me to me. So that's something I'm looking forward to.

But every day is still hard.

Happy 7 years.....but serious question: why is everyday still hard?

mickstupp

Amazingfun wrote: »

Happy 7 years.....but serious question: why is everyday still hard?

Thank you!
Well, I guess for a start... I wake up every single morning, without fail, craving a drink. All I have to do is think about any number of types of booze and my mouth waters up. I can remember the taste of my favourite drinks so well, and I never don't want them. It's my first thought every day.

I suppose one reason every day is still hard is because for me all that ever worked was avoiding any situation where there was alcohol. Sometimes, however, such situations are unavoidable, and those are incredibly difficult to deal with. But I always leave before it gets too much. I can't be around it.

I had to pour wine at a particular work event a little while ago, just as an example. I never really liked wine. Always gave me a lot of heartburn. But that never stopped me drinking too much of it. As I was pouring, filling up these little plastic cups, some wine spilled, got some on my thumb. I had to force myself to wipe that dribble off with a tissue instead of sticking it in my mouth. Even that little drop, I felt such a huge want inside me.

I suppose every day is still hard because it sometimes takes a lot of effort and that can get tiring. And that's despite the fact that the last seven years have been the happiest I've ever had. For me, it's constant vigilance. That's not easy.

Amazingfun

Wow.....

In AA we'd say what you call the "craving" you have everyday as really a mental obsession since we can only physically crave a drink once we start to drink and is why it's a very very good thing you are vigilant in making sure none ever gets in your mouth.

I can't imagine having to fight the thought of drink everyday. That kind of thing was lifted quite early on for me as I worked in a pub for the first two years of my sobriety.'It genuinely doesn't bother me in the slightest to be around booze although I don't seek out such occasions. I just know I can't have it-ever-and I know why.

Anyways I hope it lifts for you in year eight..... and enjoy your birthday gift

enoughalready

11 Months Sober: 1 month to go! Until what you may ask? Well the 1 year milestone is a big achievement. Graduating from college this week as well so double celebrations (without alcohol lol). After my year of sobriety is up, I plan to continue on my sober journey ... its 90% of the time AWESOME!

Feeling much stronger this week and have no desire to drink at all as I know it would put me back to square one and I'd 100% regret it!

marienbad

enoughalready wrote: »

11 Months Sober: 1 month to go! Until what you may ask? Well the 1 year milestone is a big achievement. Graduating from college this week as well so double celebrations (without alcohol lol). After my year of sobriety is up, I plan to continue on my sober journey ... its 90% of the time AWESOME!

Feeling much stronger this week and have no desire to drink at all as I know it would put me back to square one and I'd 100% regret it!

Yes,yes, a thousand times yes ! Outstanding

Kunkka

Well done!

enoughalready

So I graduated from college today and bagged myself a degree! Thrilled with the achievement and had a great day.

In bed now catching up on my tv shows with my eletric blanket warming my toes and perpetuating my proud sense of achievement, a little bit of me however longs to be out with the rest of my class mates at the house party and pub / nightclub after.

I say a little as my 'want' and 'longiness' has definetly decreased over the past while and although I miss being part of that scene at times, I much prefer to be at peace with myself and secure in the knowledge that tomorrow morning when I wake up I can still hold my head up high and be proud of the man I have become, whilst others will no doubt be getting up to some mischief and feeling utter shame and guilt in the morning on top of a serious hangover! (*although still acknowledging I love my naughty streak!)

I would say the percentage of me wanting to drink is now around 25% and that urge and magnetic feeling is slowly abeiting which I am very pleased with. Just trucking along now and trying my utmost to be the best person I can be.

Also whilst all that is well and good I think it important not to isolate myself either, I'd love to get to a stage where I'd feel comfortable going to the class party and abstaining from drinking, for now, I know deep down its not an option as there would be a possibility of caving in surrounded by my old drinking buddies and the sense of entitlement to celebrate after such an achievement.

Anyway, all in all, I am in a good place, sometimes lonely, but nonetheless a good, calm, comfortable place.

Good night fellow friends (",)

tealcottage

enoughalready wrote: »

So I graduated from college today and bagged myself a degree! Thrilled with the achievement and had a great day.

In bed now catching up on my tv shows with my eletric blanket warming my toes and perpetuating my proud sense of achievement, a little bit of me however longs to be out with the rest of my class mates at the house party and pub / nightclub after.

I say a little as my 'want' and 'longiness' has definetly decreased over the past while and although I miss being part of that scene at times, I much prefer to be at peace with myself and secure in the knowledge that tomorrow morning when I wake up I can still hold my head up high and be proud of the man I have become, whilst others will no doubt be getting up to some mischief and feeling utter shame and guilt in the morning on top of a serious hangover! (*although still acknowledging I love my naughty streak!)

I would say the percentage of me wanting to drink is now around 25% and that urge and magnetic feeling is slowly abeiting which I am very pleased with. Just trucking along now and trying my utmost to be the best person I can be.

Also whilst all that is well and good I think it important not to isolate myself either, I'd love to get to a stage where I'd feel comfortable going to the class party and abstaining from drinking, for now, I know deep down its not an option as there would be a possibility of caving in surrounded by my old drinking buddies and the sense of entitlement to celebrate after such an achievement.

Anyway, all in all, I am in a good place, sometimes lonely, but nonetheless a good, calm, comfortable place.

Good night fellow friends (",)

Congrats on your degree. In a drink free life, everything is possible.

Kunkka

enoughalready wrote: »

So I graduated from college today and bagged myself a degree! Thrilled with the achievement and had a great day.

In bed now catching up on my tv shows with my eletric blanket warming my toes and perpetuating my proud sense of achievement, a little bit of me however longs to be out with the rest of my class mates at the house party and pub / nightclub after.

I say a little as my 'want' and 'longiness' has definetly decreased over the past while and although I miss being part of that scene at times, I much prefer to be at peace with myself and secure in the knowledge that tomorrow morning when I wake up I can still hold my head up high and be proud of the man I have become, whilst others will no doubt be getting up to some mischief and feeling utter shame and guilt in the morning on top of a serious hangover! (*although still acknowledging I love my naughty streak!)

I would say the percentage of me wanting to drink is now around 25% and that urge and magnetic feeling is slowly abeiting which I am very pleased with. Just trucking along now and trying my utmost to be the best person I can be.

Also whilst all that is well and good I think it important not to isolate myself either, I'd love to get to a stage where I'd feel comfortable going to the class party and abstaining from drinking, for now, I know deep down its not an option as there would be a possibility of caving in surrounded by my old drinking buddies and the sense of entitlement to celebrate after such an achievement.

Anyway, all in all, I am in a good place, sometimes lonely, but nonetheless a good, calm, comfortable place.

Good night fellow friends (",)

Now that's proper living! Well done on the degree and graduation.

I passed my final exam in my field last week so I'll be having a graduation ceremony myself some time next year for the first time in my life. Would not have happened if I didn't get sober. I had attempted the exams before I gave up and failed every one of them. When I gave up booze 3 years ago I've passed the last 6 in a row which fills me with gratitude that I stayed sober & what it's given me today. Everything I have in my life is from putting down the bottle I just need to keep remembering that.

GerB40

I have a question. Has anyone here ever gotten hooked on prescription tablets in an attempt to lessen the effects of alcohol withdrawals? Giving up drink was tough but I did it because I was sick of how I was. A lot of other things happened seemingly all at once which made me realise that life is too precious to be doing what I was doing.

But now I fear I've become addicted to tablets. I can't go four or five days without taking them and when I tried to go cold turkey I went through a hell I don't even want to describe.

Someone told me that some people at AA have similar problems so I was wondering if anybody had any advice?

I realise this can be a very personal subject so if by any chance anyone does have advice feel free to PM me if you like.. This thread has pretty much saved my life once before and I feel terrible asking again.

Amazingfun

Ask away for as long and as much as you need to Ger! I am sure no one here minds one bit. One of the strange things about AA is the amazing discovery that when we help others we get much much more in return.

As per your question: I myself was not really into pills but i know LOADS of people who indeed have struggled....sometimes years sober...with painkillers and the like. I hope you get some good info either here or via PM. You are not alone!

Kunkka

GerB40 wrote: »

I have a question. Has anyone here ever gotten hooked on prescription tablets in an attempt to lessen the effects of alcohol withdrawals? Giving up drink was tough but I did it because I was sick of how I was. A lot of other things happened seemingly all at once which made me realise that life is too precious to be doing what I was doing.

But now I fear I've become addicted to tablets. I can't go four or five days without taking them and when I tried to go cold turkey I went through a hell I don't even want to describe.

Someone told me that some people at AA have similar problems so I was wondering if anybody had any advice?

I realise this can be a very personal subject so if by any chance anyone does have advice feel free to PM me if you like.. This thread has pretty much saved my life once before and I feel terrible asking again.

I've had a load of stomach issue since giving up along with headaches so I probably take more painkillers than most however my doctor said it was perfectly fine for ME as I genuinely do need them at times. I've asked myself that same question though Ger and I feel once I am not using any medication to stop dealing with reality I am ok but I would consult a doctor if you're worried about it.

GerB40

Amazingfun wrote: »

Ask away for as long and as much as you need to Ger! I am sure no one here minds one bit. One of the strange things about AA is the amazing discovery that when we help others we get much much more in return.

As per your question: I myself was not really into pills but i know LOADS of people who indeed have struggled....sometimes years sober...with painkillers and the like. I hope you get some good info either here or via PM. You are not alone!

Thanks Amazingfun.. Even through all the shít going through my head at the moment, something as simple as your reply can make me smile.. The human mind is a seriously weird place

GerB40

Kunkka wrote: »

I've had a load of stomach issue since giving up along with headaches so I probably take more painkillers than most however my doctor said it was perfectly fine for ME as I genuinely do need them at times. I've asked myself that same question though Ger and I feel once I am not using any medication to stop dealing with reality I am ok but I would consult a doctor if you're worried about it.

Thanks Kunkka. I did consult my doctor a few months ago and she said that weaning myself off them would be the best way. She gave me a months supply of d5s, one to be taken daily. They were gone that night..

For some reason I don't quite understand, the term drug addict seems worse than alcoholic but is crystal clear to me that I am a drug addict. I should probably go to rehab. These realisations are only coming to me as I write them down.

leinsterdude

I consider myself a big boozer, but low amounts and often, far too fond of it, but if I go off it I want painkillers, Valium, or work really hard to pass time, so I am a somethingaholic !!!

GerB40

I've made the decision, I'm gonna try AA. The crippling anxiety which prevented me from going before has abated and I'm actually excited about it. Maybe it'll suit me, maybe not. But I'm not gonna go into this half arsed, I'm determined to make it work for me.

Thank you to everyone here who made this decision so much easier, I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the lot of ye.

marienbad

GerB40 wrote: »

I've made the decision, I'm gonna try AA. The crippling anxiety which prevented me from going before has abated and I'm actually excited about it. Maybe it'll suit me, maybe not. But I'm not gonna go into this half arsed, I'm determined to make it work for me.

Thank you to everyone here who made this decision so much easier, I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the lot of ye.

Go for it, but give it a few meetings . Lots of people go to one or two meeting and say not for me , it and you deserve more than that .

Amazingfun

GerB40 wrote: »

I've made the decision, I'm gonna try AA. The crippling anxiety which prevented me from going before has abated and I'm actually excited about it. Maybe it'll suit me, maybe not. But I'm not gonna go into this half arsed, I'm determined to make it work for me.

Thank you to everyone here who made this decision so much easier, I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the lot of ye.

Excellent attitude as a line you'll become familiar with (it's read out at pretty much every single meeting around the world) says "half measures availed us nothing" . Welcome aboard

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt5.pdf

GerB40

Amazingfun wrote: »

Excellent attitude as a line you'll become familiar with (it's read out at pretty much every single meeting around the world) says "half measures availed us nothing" . Welcome aboard

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt5.pdf

Would I have to partake in the prayer? I'd be lying to myself as an atheist if I prayed to a higher power I don't believe in. It's not a deal breaker but I'd rather be honest to myself and to everyone else there..

Edit: I just found this and was wondering what people who attend AA think of this as a sort solution to my dilemma.

For the atheist, those twelve steps on the wall and in the book represent four things in essence:

A recognition that you haven’t been able get loaded in anything approaching moderation and without consistently creating havoc.
A surrender to the fact that this is a kind of law of nature for you, and that fighting it has been insane.
A willingness to let reality be the guide of your actions henceforth in this and in everything else.
A commitment to try and stop hurting yourself or others, and to help where you can.