Haven't touched a drop in...

Wattle

Deleted User wrote: »

Signed up for the Dublin marathon yesterday, doing it for DEBRA Ireland. Wouldn't do or wouldn't be able to do something like that in a million years drinking. I was 17 and a half stone in October 2011 and my stomach was ****ed. Also been in the first healthy non toxic relationship I've had in years the last few months & going great. Sobriety has so much to offer you just need to keep fighting the tough fight the first few months. When I do the marathon in October I'll be 2 years sober and that should happen once I keep doing what I am doing.

Great stuff that's inspiring.

Ed The Equalizer

Deleted User wrote: »

Signed up for the Dublin marathon yesterday, doing it for DEBRA Ireland. Wouldn't do or wouldn't be able to do something like that in a million years drinking. I was 17 and a half stone in October 2011 and my stomach was ****ed. Also been in the first healthy non toxic relationship I've had in years the last few months & going great. Sobriety has so much to offer you just need to keep fighting the tough fight the first few months. When I do the marathon in October I'll be 2 years sober and that should happen once I keep doing what I am doing.

Brilliant! I had a false start a couple of years ago, got as far as the Docklands 8k, entered the marathon and got injured in my second week training. Now more than half way through a 9 month training plan for a marathon in December and absolutely loving it. Just that clean feeling inside knowing I'm not full of toxic crap is great.

And nice work on the relationship, who would have thought it! I was scared ****less - I'd never before been sober the first time I had sex with any girl!

Bench Press

Bench Press wrote: »

35 days, will report back in 70, going really well

70 Days today, feeling great!

Well done

Bench Press

doing another 70 days now is my next goal, have some big changes coming up in my life as it will difficult, moving to the UK, So I hope all goes well

hubba

Bench Press wrote: »

doing another 70 days now is my next goal, have some big changes coming up in my life as it will difficult, moving to the UK, So I hope all goes well

Bench Press, I found it very helpful to have a list at hand listing why I wanted to quit in the first place. In moments of change or high stress, temptation can creep in, telling you it's not so bad (drinking), you could have just one, this (abstenance) is a bit extreme, isn't it? All those sabotaging thoughts just inviting you to trip up. Reading my list kept me focused.

2 years 3 months off it now.

Best of luck with the move, and stay strong!

xzanti

hubba wrote: »

Bench Press, I found it very helpful to have a list at hand listing why I wanted to quit in the first place. In moments of change or high stress, temptation can creep in, telling you it's not so bad (drinking), you could have just one, this (abstenance) is a bit extreme, isn't it? All those sabotaging thoughts just inviting you to trip up. Reading my list kept me focused.
!

+1 on the list... I read mine and add to them regularly.. it's been an amazing help to me.. I use them as affirmations.. it's so great to see those goals being ticked off one by one very empowering!!

Nearly 1 year for me

Good woman xzanti well done

Never stop adding things to your gratitude list!

bootybouncer

3 years the Saturday gone............celebrated with a water and a Dubs win

Sunnyisland

bootybouncer wrote: »

3 years the Saturday gone............celebrated with a water and a Dubs win

Well done bootybouncer congratulate yourself on a job well done, Every day sober is a day of great celebration. Add up the months and years of sobriety and you really have many reasons to celebrate,well done again :)

emmabrighton

In the past few weeks I have been flirting with the idea of drinking. Feeling that buzzy mellowness after 2 glasses of wine. Your cares floating away. Enjoying a day out - at a match, the races - but even more because all your happy hormones are pumping.

Then this week I am going through a rough patch financially and not getting much support from my partner that last night while out walking I wanted to drink just to not feel so down, just to not care for a few hours that life hasn't turned out the way I had hoped it would.

So there you have it in the past few weeks I have flirted with the idea of drinking to feel even happier on a good day and not to feel so bad on a bad day.

20 months not drinking this month and I have to say this is the first time that I felt anything like a craving.

emmabrighton

emmabrighton wrote: »

In the past few weeks I have been flirting with the idea of drinking. Feeling that buzzy mellowness after 2 glasses of wine. Your cares floating away. Enjoying a day out - at a match, the races - but even more because all your happy hormones are pumping.

Then this week I am going through a rough patch financially and not getting much support from my partner that last night while out walking I wanted to drink just to not feel so down, just to not care for a few hours that life hasn't turned out the way I had hoped it would.

So there you have it in the past few weeks I have flirted with the idea of drinking to feel even happier on a good day and not to feel so bad on a bad day.

20 months not drinking this month and I have to say this is the first time that I felt anything like a craving.

Perfectly normal I have felt similar at times but I just weigh up how much better life is in general. I hope you get through it and do what is best for you.

What stops me nearly 100% of the time is now I'd rather go through life knowing who I am then getting out of it on drink & drugs to go back to that fake existence of constant lies pretending to be someone I am not. Getting that relief from drinking is only temporary and in the long run it doesn't help but will eventually make things much worse that's all you have to remember. As people we always think towards the easy fix, it's in our nature to do so don't put yourself down because you've thought about it. Best of luck

xzanti

Sorry to hear of your troubles Emmabrighton

Yes I've definitely had that devil on my shoulder on a few occasions.. I find Saturday nights can sometimes stir something in me.. it's almost like there's literally something in the air we're only human, we're not superheroes..

We have years of conditioning and programming working against us.. I find deep breathing and mindfulness helpful.. stay in the moment.. don't allow yourself to become nostalgic.. we can sometimes don those rose tinted glasses when reminiscing about the 'old' days..

We are grown adults, we can do whatever we want.. nobody is going to rugby tackle you out of the bar.. but bare in mind how you'll feel waking up after those few glasses of wine.. those 20 months will have been for nothing and you are right back where you started.. I don't think any 'buzz' is worth that.. This is an amazing achievement, so many people try to kick the booze and sadly fail at the first hurdle every time.. don't deny yourself of this victory.. stay strong.. we are here for you

Sunnyisland

Emmabrighton at first glance it might appear overwhelming, But when I or you think about all the effort and time we all put into our drinking, Working on your sobriety plan takes a fraction of the time and effort each day that drinking did.

I remember on numerous occasions when I was trying to stop was that I wanted to "wait" for a "good time" to quit. A "good time" to me was a time when it would be 1) easy (which it never is) 2) a time when there is a LOOONG stretch with no social obligations (which there never is) 3) A time when there was going to be no stress in my life (which there never is) etc.

So we HAVE to get strong enough to resist the urge to drink in good times and in bad times. Because life is NEVER going to get perfect and easy.
There are many horrible, terrible things to have to live with in the world and not drinking is not one of them. If not drinking is the worst thing that I ever have to overcome in my life, well then, I consider myself very blessed. keep to your plan emmabrighton you know your well worth it.

Sunnyisland

Just on a personal note that may help someone

I had several AF periods before this quit -- 3-4-5- months - and one of 6 months -- the 6 months was my first one - and yes, each one after that was MUCH harder.

If I examine myself ruthlessly --- none of those quits didn't have an 'out' in my head. The 6 month one was actually more for my health than anything. I'd become a bit of a mess, my liver function tests were poor, my skin was awful, I was exhausted all the time, depressed, anxious etc.

But truly, from the moment I got the all clear on the liver tests - it was only a matter of 'when' --- other quits were to keep family, wife happy --- usually after a 1-3 day binge when everyone would be cross with me ---- again - as soon as they were all happy again ---- it was 'when'

This time - I accepted defeat - there was no 'plan' or manipulation of drinking that could work for me - it was making me truly unhappy - and it was making me something and somebody I just couldn't be anymore - a pathetic, sad, anxious and lonely man --- I had no spirit --- it was gone.

For me and this is just me no one else here, I really had to accept that I was an alcoholic --- but once I TRULY accepted that - it was just so bloody easy --- no choice, no decisions - nothing --- just once I don't drink, I have a great life --- couldn't see that before tho!

Never let your head have the teenciest weenciest permission re alcohol --- an alkie brain grows legs with the slightest encouragement --- that would be my advice -- and don't give away your quit cheaply --- it gets harder to stop with each one ---

xzanti

If I could thank that last post twice I would

emmabrighton

Thanks lads, was out walking last night and I had your words in my head and, funnily enough, some of the points raised in the AH thread from a few weeks ago. It was easier thinking that I'm a non-drinker plain and simple, non drinkers don't drink. It makes no sense why this would make the urge pass more than telling myself that I have to resist at all costs.

I was a vegetarian for 10 years - i know its not the same thing but the same thought process worked back then when the smell of a fry was overwhelmingly good. I am a vegetarian plain and simple, I don't eat meat.

Anyway, I am not saying I have it bet but yesterday the feeling was not there like it was the day before.

Oh, and sweet treats help too.

I eat more junk food now than i did when I was drinking and exercise much less but still weigh nearly a stone less than I did two years ago.

Go figure!

KeefF

realies wrote: »

Just on a personal note that may help someone

I had several AF periods before this quit -- 3-4-5- months - and one of 6 months -- the 6 months was my first one - and yes, each one after that was MUCH harder.

If I examine myself ruthlessly --- none of those quits didn't have an 'out' in my head. The 6 month one was actually more for my health than anything. I'd become a bit of a mess, my liver function tests were poor, my skin was awful, I was exhausted all the time, depressed, anxious etc.

But truly, from the moment I got the all clear on the liver tests - it was only a matter of 'when' --- other quits were to keep family, wife happy --- usually after a 1-3 day binge when everyone would be cross with me ---- again - as soon as they were all happy again ---- it was 'when'

This time - I accepted defeat - there was no 'plan' or manipulation of drinking that could work for me - it was making me truly unhappy - and it was making me something and somebody I just couldn't be anymore - a pathetic, sad, anxious and lonely man --- I had no spirit --- it was gone.

For me and this is just me no one else here, I really had to accept that I was an alcoholic --- but once I TRULY accepted that - it was just so bloody easy --- no choice, no decisions - nothing --- just once I don't drink, I have a great life --- couldn't see that before tho!

Never let your head have the teenciest weenciest permission re alcohol --- an alkie brain grows legs with the slightest encouragement --- that would be my advice -- and don't give away your quit cheaply --- it gets harder to stop with each one ---

Wow - truly powerful post and one I could really identify with - especially "was making me truly unhappy - and it was making me something and somebody I just couldn't be anymore - a pathetic, sad, anxious and lonely man --- I had no spirit --- it was gone"
Thanks - really helped.

Ed The Equalizer

emmabrighton wrote: »

It was easier thinking that I'm a non-drinker plain and simple, non drinkers don't drink.

Anyway, I am not saying I have it

You SOOOOO have it

JonBon27

531:)

NicoleL88

About four months I think!

Dave!

Congrats all

stefan idiot jones

3155 days !

stefan idiot jones

In hindsight, looking at that figure of mine brings into reality how much money I would have easily p!ssed up the wall.
When I quit drinking I was going through at least £7-8 daily on strong cider from Tescos.
I would spend that every day except when I would go out to the pub and spend at least £25-30.
Thats about €40,000 that I would of wasted in eight and a half years.
If thats not a wake up call to others then I don't know what is ?

p.s. I have not saved that amount. Instead I have spent it on New York cheesecakes and other crap.

Wattle

3650 days. 10 years today. Best decision I ever made

hubba

I love this thread. It's so positive and inspiring. Well done everyone.

Wattle

Wattle wrote: »

3650 days. 10 years today. Best decision I ever made

Corvo

Just wanted to contribute to this thread again (it's been a long time) but I hope my own story will help others, though I'm sure most of you will have more difficult experiences than the one I am just about to describe.

It was approximately 3 months ago I decided I would give up drinking, as I felt both my mental and physical health had suffered. I lasted 6 weeks and it was only after about 4 that I started to feel much better. A few posters on here also helped me through it via PM and I was very appreciative.

After that 6 week period, I totally hit rock bottom as life, as it does, decided to throw a few curve balls all at once and I only had one bat. Eventually I fell back into the hole of drinking, stretching to 5 days a week. I would attend work on a Monday and due to literally shaking like a leaf, could only manage to sign a letter, but could not manage to type it out. Some colleagues would help me (following lies that there was something wrong with my system and I couldn't create one) or I would just not do any administration work at all to avoid it. This of course, piled on further problems.

I went through the same process below, every week.

Monday: Extreme shaking and muscle pain, sweating, fits/seizures, feeling extremely down, no food at all, no work done, trouble walking home as my legs were like jelly, extreme anxiety, bed, feelings of shame/guilt and possibly an hours sleep.

Tuesday: Still shaking, and very sore all over. Obviously very tired. Still will not eat today. Anxiety still there but feelings of depression worse. Will need to drink. Sleep will be worse tonight and my head will be wrecked from worry (usually 06:30 - 07:30)

Wednesday: Feel nothing. No pain, maybe in my arms. Will only eat something small around 11. Still very down. Sleep will be like Tuesday due to anxiety.

Thursday: Will start to fell better with regards appetite, but very tired. Red Bull is drank often. Will go drinking that night. Sleep will be approximately 6 hours.

Friday: Extremely hungover but no shakes etc. Will eat something greasy at 11 but after that, anxiety will begin around 3-4 as I start to think about going drinking. Won't be hungry and will have "butterflies" in my stomach. Will drink heavy that night.

Saturday / Sunday: Wake early and hit pub for 10:30 and 12:00 respectively. Won't sober up all weekend.

Rinse and repeat.

I went on like this for week upon weeks until eventually I had some form of seizure in work, which I believed was because of anxiety. (I later found out it was my body just resisting the toxins and it felt like every muscle in my body was being wrenched apart). Thankfully, some colleagues brought me to the doctor (against my will) and the doctor advised that basically, I was killing myself with it.

I later told him how mentally, it had destroyed me. I found it very hard to tell him this. I had thrown away friends, family, a loving girlfriend and every penny I had. I was often suicidal, but it wasn't an emotional decision. Much like my work, it was methodical. Date, place, time, method.

He medicated me only yesterday. I had no money to drink either Monday or Tuesday and exhausted all my usual "loan spots". The doctor put me in touch (in his office on his own mobile phone) with a man who ran the local AA who has agreed to meet me whenever I think I feel tempted, which will be often. Friday night will be especially hard as a social outing was planned. I had also planned to go to Cork to relatives to watch the All Ireland. Drink was my calender in a lot of ways.

The reason I'm telling you the above is that I guess, while I would love to be like you all and have triple digits of the days I have been sober, this is Day 3 for me without putting a pint / short to my lips.

So yeah, long road. Here's hoping.

I hope to contribute more as I go and maybe I'll someday have the triple digits instead of the triple Jamesons.

Corvo

Corvo wrote: »

Just wanted to contribute to this thread again (it's been a long time) but I hope my own story will help others, though I'm sure most of you will have more difficult experiences than the one I am just about to describe.

It was approximately 3 months ago I decided I would give up drinking, as I felt both my mental and physical health had suffered. I lasted 6 weeks and it was only after about 4 that I started to feel much better. A few posters on here also helped me through it via PM and I was very appreciative.

After that 6 week period, I totally hit rock bottom as life, as it does, decided to throw a few curve balls all at once and I only had one bat. Eventually I fell back into the hole of drinking, stretching to 5 days a week. I would attend work on a Monday and due to literally shaking like a leaf, could only manage to sign a letter, but could not manage to type it out. Some colleagues would help me (following lies that there was something wrong with my system and I couldn't create one) or I would just not do any administration work at all to avoid it. This of course, piled on further problems.

I went through the same process below, every week.

Monday: Extreme shaking and muscle pain, sweating, fits/seizures, feeling extremely down, no food at all, no work done, trouble walking home as my legs were like jelly, extreme anxiety, bed, feelings of shame/guilt and possibly an hours sleep.

Tuesday: Still shaking, and very sore all over. Obviously very tired. Still will not eat today. Anxiety still there but feelings of depression worse. Will need to drink. Sleep will be worse tonight and my head will be wrecked from worry (usually 06:30 - 07:30)

Wednesday: Feel nothing. No pain, maybe in my arms. Will only eat something small around 11. Still very down. Sleep will be like Tuesday due to anxiety.

Thursday: Will start to fell better with regards appetite, but very tired. Red Bull is drank often. Will go drinking that night. Sleep will be approximately 6 hours.

Friday: Extremely hungover but no shakes etc. Will eat something greasy at 11 but after that, anxiety will begin around 3-4 as I start to think about going drinking. Won't be hungry and will have "butterflies" in my stomach. Will drink heavy that night.

Saturday / Sunday: Wake early and hit pub for 10:30 and 12:00 respectively. Won't sober up all weekend.

Rinse and repeat.

I went on like this for week upon weeks until eventually I had some form of seizure in work, which I believed was because of anxiety. (I later found out it was my body just resisting the toxins and it felt like every muscle in my body was being wrenched apart). Thankfully, some colleagues brought me to the doctor (against my will) and the doctor advised that basically, I was killing myself with it.

I later told him how mentally, it had destroyed me. I found it very hard to tell him this. I had thrown away friends, family, a loving girlfriend and every penny I had. I was often suicidal, but it wasn't an emotional decision. Much like my work, it was methodical. Date, place, time, method.

He medicated me only yesterday. I had no money to drink either Monday or Tuesday and exhausted all my usual "loan spots". The doctor put me in touch (in his office on his own mobile phone) with a man who ran the local AA who has agreed to meet me whenever I think I feel tempted, which will be often. Friday night will be especially hard as a social outing was planned. I had also planned to go to Cork to relatives to watch the All Ireland. Drink was my calender in a lot of ways.

The reason I'm telling you the above is that I guess, while I would love to be like you all and have triple digits of the days I have been sober, this is Day 3 for me without putting a pint / short to my lips.

So yeah, long road. Here's hoping.

I hope to contribute more as I go and maybe I'll someday have the triple digits instead of the triple Jamesons.

Well done for being so honest & open about it all. That alone is the first part of acceptance of alcoholism. Secondly you are as important as someone who has 1, 2 or 10 years sobriety in this thread, we all help and encourage eachother to get to where we were. Remember that.

We're not allowed to discuss any forms of treatment in detail on this forum for valid reasons but my story would be very similar to you. I was hospitalized for about the 3rd time from drink & finally knew the game was up. I was extremely suicidal and seen no way out but lucky for me I found a program through a friend & that program works for me and I am nearly 2 years sober. I hadn't gone (at most) 2 weeks without a drink since I was 16 and I was 25 when I gave it up. I used it for everything but it was when I needed it for every day life stuff that it became a serious problem. I just didn't want to deal with any of my own problems.

So I wish you the best of luck and remember do what suits you, what you are comfortable with. If meetings work for you like they did for me then keep going to them and never let anyone tell you differently. However if they aren't working for you then don't ever be forced to go to them. All I can say with wholehearted truth is that it does get easier but it is going to be tough at the start but you have to make a decision do you want to live or do you want to do what we all ended up doing at the end of our drinking until you don't wake up?

Corvo

Deleted User wrote: »

Well done for being so honest & open about it all. That alone is the first part of acceptance of alcoholism. Secondly you are as important as someone who has 1, 2 or 10 years sobriety in this thread, we all help and encourage eachother to get to where we were. Remember that.

We're not allowed to discuss any forms of treatment in detail on this forum for valid reasons but my story would be very similar to you. I was hospitalized for about the 3rd time from drink & finally knew the game was up. I was extremely suicidal and seen no way out but lucky for me I found a program through a friend & that program works for me and I am nearly 2 years sober. I hadn't gone (at most) 2 weeks without a drink since I was 16 and I was 25 when I gave it up. I used it for everything but it was when I needed it for every day life stuff that it became a serious problem. I just didn't want to deal with any of my own problems.

So I wish you the best of luck and remember do what suits you, what you are comfortable with. If meetings work for you like they did for me then keep going to them and never let anyone tell you differently. However if they aren't working for you then don't ever be forced to go to them. All I can say with wholehearted truth is that it does get easier but it is going to be tough at the start but you have to make a decision do you want to live or do you want to do what we all ended up doing at the end of our drinking until you don't wake up?

Hi KaG, thanks for the reply.

I too am of a very similar age to you (when you gave it up) as I will be 25 at Christmas and like you, I drank since approx. 16.

Thanks for the kind words, I will try to remember them as I try my best to keep my head up. The doctor also advised that I try and apologise to my friends and ex-girlfriend in order to shift some of the soul-eating guilt that is slowly driving me crazy. Though I think that might be a battle for a different day.

I just wish I could wind back 4 years, back to when I had a whole life in front of me before I started to wreck both my body and head with alcohol.