Women proposing to men

Contessa Raven

This is a topic I have been thinking about recently and I think it would be interesting to see how other women feel about it.

Traditionally the man proposes and the woman gets a token of his committment in the form of a ring etc. But what do men get when they're proposed to? Do they get a ring? A watch?

Would you ever propose to your man? If not, why not?

Has anyone here proposed to their bf? Tell us about it!

On one hand I love the idea of the traditional bf proposing to me on bended knee, ring in hand. On the other hand I think life's too short and couldn't I propose to him? (Think I'd still prefer for him to propose to me though! )

I've heard of some men saying that they wouldn't like it if their woman proposed to them because they'd feel like their opportunity to "pop the question" was taken from them.

So what do the ladies of the lounge think? Is the man proposing marriage just an old tradition from the age of dowries? Is it just romance? Or do you think women should propose more often?

Discuss!

mariebeth

I'd honestly, never imagine myself proposing to a guy. It's not that it's traditional, but I'm just the type of person who would always wonder if he said 'yes' only for the sake of it, and whether he had actually wanted to get married at all.

krudler

mariebeth wrote: »

I'd honestly, never imagine myself proposing to a guy. It's not that it's traditional, but I'm just the type of person who would always wonder if he said 'yes' only for the sake of it, and whether he had actually wanted to get married at all.

Men agree to go shoe shopping for the sake of it, or to sit and silent watch a soap or Grey's. marriage is most definitely NOT something your average guy will agree to for "the sake of it" :pac:

I dunno really, I'm not a traditional type either I kinda like the idea of a girl proposing, but its so ingrained into society that the man asks I guess a lot of people would find it a bit strange or offputting.

hondasam

I would imagine most couples will have discussed marriage in advance of the proposal. I do not know anyone where it was a total surprise. I have a friend who is dropping hints to her BF of four years and he is not getting the message, she would not dream of asking him.

would most girls be happy with not picking the ring themselves.

krudler

Contessa Raven wrote: »

This is a topic I have been thinking about recently and I think it would be interesting to see how other women feel about it.

Traditionally the man proposes and the woman gets a token of his committment in the form of a ring etc. But what do men get when they're proposed to? Do they get a ring? A watch?

Would you ever propose to your man? If not, why not?

Has anyone here proposed to their bf? Tell us about it!

On one hand I love the idea of the traditional bf proposing to me on bended knee, ring in hand. On the other hand I think life's too short and couldn't I propose to him? (Think I'd still prefer for him to propose to me though! )

I've heard of some men saying that they wouldn't like it if their woman proposed to them because they'd feel like their opportunity to "pop the question" was taken from them.

So what do the ladies of the lounge think? Is the man proposing marriage just an old tradition from the age of dowries? Is it just romance? Or do you think women should propose more often?

Discuss!

one of my best friends got an iphone

Contessa Raven

hondasam wrote: »

would most girls be happy with not picking the ring themselves.

Personally, I love the idea of him having picked the ring himself already. I would be confident that he'd know what I like and when he gets down on bended knee I'd like it to be with THE ring rather than a token ring.

I think most women would like to pick their own ring though.

WesternNight

Contessa Raven wrote: »

Personally, I love the idea of him having picked the ring himself already. I would be confident that he'd know what I like and when he gets down on bended knee I'd like it to be with THE ring rather than a token ring.

I think most women would like to pick their own ring though.

I'd say most women would love to believe that their boyfriend would know them well enough to know what kind of ring they'd want. Or even what size ring they wear. But I suspect that there are few enough men (or even women!) who would just know that without ever having been told specifically.

If I were to propose to a guy I'd probably get a ring if I thought he'd wear it. It would probably be discussed to some extent beforehand though, so any proposal would really be a formality.

Phoenix Park

If a guy wants to get married he'll ask. I'd say many men would be freaked out by a girl asking and i could see a swift end for the relationship in many cases. I have sympathy with girls in their late 20's/early 30's who must come under intense pressure from relatives with snide remarks about why aren't they engaged yet, must be frustrating.

WesternNight

Phoenix Park wrote: »

If a guy wants to get married he'll ask. I'd say many men would be freaked out by a girl asking and i could see a swift end for the relationship in many cases.

Do many people propose without having discussed it first and without a fair idea that the answer will be yes, I wonder?

bubblicious

Contessa Raven wrote: »

Personally, I love the idea of him having picked the ring himself already. I would be confident that he'd know what I like and when he gets down on bended knee I'd like it to be with THE ring rather than a token ring.

I think most women would like to pick their own ring though.

+1 Contessa Raven! My boyfriend knows that if he ever proposes, I want him to pick out the ring in advance. He's been told by many of his female friends that he should just give me a dummy ring because all girls want to pick out their own one but I certainly don't. Like you, I want to be given THE ring!

Das Kitty

It's completely dependent on the couple. I know in our case it wouldn't have gone down well with my husband had I proposed. Now it was just the custom of the proposal, we had already discussed and agreed that we would marry at some point. He found it an honour to be able to perform it and choose the when and where and what to say.

I did get an engagement ring (that I still adore) and he got an Omega Seamaster watch.

SeekUp

I thought of proposing many times, and I really wish I had done so before he did! He's quite traditional, though, so I thought he'd be upset if he had missed out on doing it himself. When I mentioned it to him, however, he insists that he would've been fine with it.

Ah well . . . married now, so I suppose it all turned out alright in the end!

PCPhoto

as a guy in a relationship for approx 12months (we're both in our early 30's)..... I've been reading a lot of these threads recently....... how much should a guy spend on an engagement ring? how to propose? should I ask for her parents position... etc etc?

while I personally have no problem with herself proposing - we have discussed marriage, we joke that we're "pre-engaged" .... she's just waiting for me to ask.

strangely enough ... its true, I know she'll say yes, but I/we don't plan on doing anything about it for at least another 12 months.... we even talked about it the other night, for her its more of the surprise element of when the proposal will happen.... so she's expecting me to propose !

if the OP has not discussed the "future" with her other half, then maybe she could face a shock if she decides to "throw it out there" and ask.

if you want to be with him.... ask him - tradition doesn't matter - most guys are lazy and happy to go through life as a co-habiting couple... what does a proposal mean... it's a promise to marry, and what is marriage... only a certificate recognised by the state and catholic church, what's more important to each other is commitment - if you are committed to him and he is committed to you.... in this day and age people are loosing faith in the church and no longer feel the need to perform the sacrament of Marriage.

my GF is Protestant and I'm Catholic ....I would be happy to go through the rest of our lives together....but she said she would like her "day out" ...she says she just hopes she wont be a bridezilla.

Phoenix Park

You're going out a year and she's talking about marriage?? :eek:

Contessa Raven

PCPhoto wrote: »

if the OP has not discussed the "future" with her other half, then maybe she could face a shock if she decides to "throw it out there" and ask.

We're together almost 4 years so we've discussed the future and we both want the same things (house, marriage, kids etc.) I don't think we'll be getting engaged for another couple of years yet, though!

This was more a topic that has developed from having these chats about the future. I thought it would be interesting to see other people's opinions on it as it's not something I gave much thought to before.

Raze_them_all

krudler wrote: »

Men agree to go shoe shopping for the sake of it, or to sit and silent watch a soap or Grey's. marriage is most definitely NOT something your average guy will agree to for "the sake of it" :pac:

I dunno really, I'm not a traditional type either I kinda like the idea of a girl proposing, but its so ingrained into society that the man asks I guess a lot of people would find it a bit strange or offputting.

One of my mates is engaged cos his bird is crazy insecure and agreed just to shut her up!

Wedgie

She didn't propose, she just told me.

I got nothing, by the way.

Raze_them_all

Wedgie wrote: »

She didn't propose, she just told me.

I got nothing, by the way.

Twig is that you :pac:

Stink on the inside

Seriously If my girlfriend proposed to me my gut reaction would be 'cringe'.

Girls proposing to guys just doesn't seem 'right' to me.

If one of my mates got proposed to and accepted he would probably be ridiculed for years to come, 'whos wearing the boots in the relationship' etc etc. Guys banter..

Now that I think of it It would probably change the whole dynamics of the relationship I now have.

I couldn't see it all ending well

I would probably see my girlfriend as 'needy' and 'clingy', a lot of guys would see it as you (girl) attempting to take his freedom away.

Thats the way I see it

Wedgie

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Twig is that you :pac:

Eh, no, I don't think so.

PCPhoto

Phoenix Park wrote: »

You're going out a year and she's talking about marriage?? :eek:

its not she's talking about marriage - we are both discussing our futures, in your early 30s you have to assess the long term instead of just going with the flow.

we were together for about a year (several years ago) .... and back together for the last 12months.

ratmouse

Phoenix Park wrote: »

If a guy wants to get married he'll ask. I'd say many men would be freaked out by a girl asking and i could see a swift end for the relationship in many cases. I have sympathy with girls in their late 20's/early 30's who must come under intense pressure from relatives with snide remarks about why aren't they engaged yet, must be frustrating.

Of course you bringing this issue up doesn't add further frustraion to the situation of said girls in the said age range.

Ickle Magoo

Can posters who have nothing constructive to add to the discussion please refrain from posting.

Cheers.

starlit

I see no harm in doing or any woman to do so. Its her choice and its the 21st century. Its the modern thing to do for some women who wish to do so. I wouldn't judge them for doing so as I wouldn't judge a guy proposing to a woman.

solerina

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix Park
If a guy wants to get married he'll ask. I'd say many men would be freaked out by a girl asking and i could see a swift end for the relationship in many cases. I have sympathy with girls in their late 20's/early 30's who must come under intense pressure from relatives with snide remarks about why aren't they engaged yet, must be frustrating.

Ratmouse
Of course you bringing this issue up doesn't add further frustraion to the situation of said girls in the said age range.
********************************************************
I am in 'said age range' and am not in the slighest bit bothered about being single....not all women are waiting in frustration for the big engagement...If your not happy on your own, you wont be happy in any relationship.....and No I dont think a woman should propose under any circumstances !!!!

cdaly_

A friend of mine proposed to her husband. He turned her down the first time but said yes a year or two later...

Blush_01

While part of me would really like to do the proposing, another (much bigger) part of me wants a surprise proposal, with the ring and the blessing from my parents et al.

I'd be afraid he'd say no, and I'd be too gutted to ask again.

Feeona

I wouldn't propose, it would just feel wrong for me

strobe

My opinion on this. Almost* all of the time women should leave it for the man to propose. I say this because almost* all of the time women will want to get married well before a man does. This is just the reality of the thing.

AnnyHallsal

My boyfriend razzes me about this; "You believe in equality, you're not going to take my name, why should I propose? You propose!"

I don't think I ever would, and I'm very liberal. I think the reason is I would want to be 100% certain that the person I agreed to marry really, truly wanted to marry me. For some reason I feel that if I proposed I wouldn't have that certainty.

Also, I suppose, there's the romance of it. Though I wouldn't wear a white dress or marry in a church, inside me there's a girl who wants a proposal.

Damn romance brainwashing!

SarahMs

.................... thanks to Wispa.... I asked mine!

I managed to keep it a secret for about 2 weeks and showed him after We went to an Ireland game.... he loved it... still waiting on an answer though :rolleyes: