Depression

Donkey Oaty

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

Smile at people even when you don't feel like it...

Donkey Oaty

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I'll stop now.

Bombbastic22

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

I salute your enthusiasm and positive attitude, but on the basis of what you have written, you clearly have no understanding whatsoever of depression.

Despite that, I'm sure you're a good person to be around!

Cheers! I totally have an understanding of it, I think but alas it's the way of the world that when you laugh the whole world laughs with you and when you cry you cry alone, which is unfortunate as these things are like a slippery slope to deeper and deeper despair!

Also, I would never ever treat anyone the way the previous poster was treated as I understand that someone who feels the way she does needs a little more love, rather than being ostrasized(did I spell that right?) the way she seems to me. Dunno why I'm thinking the poster is a woman and sorry if you're not.

It is hard to understand why someone is gloomy sometimes though and sometimes when you're around someone who feels profoundly miserable it's easy to think that it's because they don't like you or something.

It's really hard to talk to people too, I think it can make it worse in a way as you're afraid of being judged.

Anyway, didn't even mean to post on this thread, stumbled accross it by accident. Found some of the posts pretty moving though and had to comment.

Bombbastic22

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I'll stop now.

That's the spirit! cheered me up did all those smileys!!! it's a lot nicer than frownies isn't it?

Novella

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

That's the spirit! cheered me up did all those smileys!!! it's a lot nicer than frownies isn't it?

Of course smiles are a lot nicer than frowns, and I dunno, maybe I'm taking this the wrong way but recovering from depression is not as easy as just deciding that you're gonna 'turn that frown upside down'. I figured the whole point of this thread was to raise awareness about the seriousness of the condition and make people realise that it isn't simply wallowing in self pity and that you can't just click your fingers and feel better.

I guess I sort of find your stance slightly belittling, if I'm being honest. Positivity and optimism are obviously fantastic and to be encouraged but when you're depressed you don't feel that. Telling someone who is suffering from the illness to spread niceness or whatever 'cause then they'll get it back is not going to work. Telling them to eat better won't work. Everything seems bleak. Everything will be met with negativity because that is the way depression colours life.

Depression isn't not having a job. It's not having a bad day or a number of them. Yes, these things are depressing, but jesus, depression is a hell of a lot more than that.

Bombbastic22

Novella wrote: »

Of course smiles are a lot nicer than frowns, and I dunno, maybe I'm taking this the wrong way but recovering from depression is not as easy as just deciding that you're gonna 'turn that frown upside down'. I figured the whole point of this thread was to raise awareness about the seriousness of the condition and make people realise that it isn't simply wallowing in self pity and that you can't just click your fingers and feel better.

I guess I sort of find your stance slightly belittling

Jay, I feel like I'm being told off and very seriously misunderstood here.

Just trying to bring a bit of optimism is all.

It feels like a lot of people here are part of an exclusive club where I just don't seem to fit in - ah well, I'm kind of used to being an outsider.

Wasn't trying to belittle anyone but in reality if you lived in Haiti or Japan then you would have real serious reasons to be depressed and hey, who says anyone should be happy all the time.

I'm sure a large portion of the population have felt like jumping off a bridge at some point in time but there's no use having this uppity conceited high horse "you don't understand depression" attitude.

All I'm trying to say is get off your ass and help someone else. Maybe volunteer to help people with disabilities, through a few euro to a homeless guy, try and make the world a brighter place for someone else, because if you can't do that, then why should you even think yourself someone who deserves to be helped through your depression, at least by anyone who isn't paid to do so or making money off prescribing pills to cure your so called "chemical imbalance".

You're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. Which are you? And the fact is people being depressed rubs off on other people and the fact that you say I'm belittling you when I wasn't intentionally doing so at all I find rather negative.

Anyway, I'm not posting on this topic again as apparently I'm just belittling people and don't know what I'm talking about anyway - which is pretty narrow minded and presumptious and quite frankly this whole thread is depressing.............

stupidusername

This is a fear that I have, that people who know me, if they know this about me, that this ^ is the attitude they'll have. I mean I wouldn't mind explaining to someone what it's like, but you have to be open to understanding it as a real problem, because if you actually still believe in any way that the person is just feeling sorry for themselves or just needs to 'cheer up' then there's no point, and you need to stay away from anyone with depression.

I'm not trying to say it's like being in a club, and oh you'll never understand, but it seems that some people obviously do still have this idea that it's a matter of cheering yourself up by doing something to make you feel good, and if this is what you think then I wouldn't have much hope that you'll be able to understand it.

Saila

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

Jay, I feel like I'm being told off and very seriously misunderstood here.

Just trying to bring a bit of optimism is all.

It feels like a lot of people here are part of an exclusive club where I just don't seem to fit in - ah well, I'm kind of used to being an outsider.

Wasn't trying to belittle anyone but in reality if you lived in Haiti or Japan then you would have real serious reasons to be depressed and hey, who says anyone should be happy all the time.

I'm sure a large portion of the population have felt like jumping off a bridge at some point in time but there's no use having this uppity conceited high horse "you don't understand depression" attitude.

All I'm trying to say is get off your ass and help someone else. Maybe volunteer to help people with disabilities, through a few euro to a homeless guy, try and make the world a brighter place for someone else, because if you can't do that, then why should you even think yourself someone who deserves to be helped through your depression, at least by anyone who isn't paid to do so or making money off prescribing pills to cure your so called "chemical imbalance".

You're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. Which are you? And the fact is people being depressed rubs off on other people and the fact that you say I'm belittling you when I wasn't intentionally doing so at all I find rather negative.

Anyway, I'm not posting on this topic again as apparently I'm just belittling people and don't know what I'm talking about anyway - which is pretty narrow minded and presumptious and quite frankly this whole thread is depressing.............

Fair play to you bomb, but you're preaching to the converted here [not me included I tend to view things similar to yourself] Ive been through the **** so can speak for both sides, if you cant see a way out there is no way out, its as simple as that really - thats the illness, you can either wallow in it or do something about it, theres no magic pills, the magic pills are like crutches to keep you in a good place untill you make changes to your perception of things --> where the mind goes the body will follow

if you dont make changes and come off them you will be back on them and the cycle will continue until you break it and change.

Novella

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

Jay, I feel like I'm being told off and very seriously misunderstood here.

Just trying to bring a bit of optimism is all.

It feels like a lot of people here are part of an exclusive club where I just don't seem to fit in - ah well, I'm kind of used to being an outsider.

Wasn't trying to belittle anyone but in reality if you lived in Haiti or Japan then you would have real serious reasons to be depressed and hey, who says anyone should be happy all the time.

I'm sure a large portion of the population have felt like jumping off a bridge at some point in time but there's no use having this uppity conceited high horse "you don't understand depression" attitude.

All I'm trying to say is get off your ass and help someone else. Maybe volunteer to help people with disabilities, through a few euro to a homeless guy, try and make the world a brighter place for someone else, because if you can't do that, then why should you even think yourself someone who deserves to be helped through your depression, at least by anyone who isn't paid to do so or making money off prescribing pills to cure your so called "chemical imbalance".

You're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. Which are you? And the fact is people being depressed rubs off on other people and the fact that you say I'm belittling you when I wasn't intentionally doing so at all I find rather negative.

Anyway, I'm not posting on this topic again as apparently I'm just belittling people and don't know what I'm talking about anyway - which is pretty narrow minded and presumptious and quite frankly this whole thread is depressing.............

You're not being misunderstood at all. I thought I might have been misunderstanding you, but I wasn't.

It's funny that you think I'm narrow-minded however, when in fact it is yourself who is coming across in that way as far as I'm concerned. I don't mean to be offensive but the lack of knowledge you are portraying here isn't my problem. It's the fact that you seem so adamant that you're in the right and I, and anyone else who truly believes and understands depression to be crippling, are wrong.

I'm all for people expressing their opinions, and I love discussion and debate but honestly, you're just being insensitive right now.

It's just ridiculous that the only people you think are 'allowed' to be depressed are those suffering the effects of disaster or who have 'serious' reasons. What is serious to one person isn't necessarily to another, and to even use the word allowed in relation to a disease, an illness... I mean, seriously?

I don't have a conceited "you don't understand depression" attitude, but I don't think that you do. It's not uppity, I'm only forming my opinion based on what you are saying.

Why should a person think they deserve help? Well, what makes the disabled person entitled to such, the homeless person? Is it because you can physically see what is wrong with them but you can't see depression?

I don't think you're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. That's so simplistic. A person could be positive for a period of time and negative for another. You said yourself, no one can be happy always.

To finish, of course me stating I find your stance belittling is negative. I'm disagreeing with you!

WesternNight

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

All I'm trying to say is get off your ass and help someone else. Maybe volunteer to help people with disabilities, through a few euro to a homeless guy, try and make the world a brighter place for someone else, because if you can't do that, then why should you even think yourself someone who deserves to be helped through your depression

Jesus christ *headdesk*

You know, people don't decide to be clinically depressed. Just like people with disabilities don't choose to have a disability. They don't wake up one morning and say "you know, I think I'm going to put a downer on the whole world today, that sounds like fun".

You could probably do with doing some reading on the topic, by the sounds of it.

Mars Bar

Bombbastic22 wrote: »

You're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. Which are you? And the fact is people being depressed rubs off on other people and the fact that you say I'm belittling you when I wasn't intentionally doing so at all I find rather negative.

It's not that black and white.

And depression isn't a contagious disease.

WalterMitty

Doing things to help others can be beneficial to a person prone to depression but not in the depths of clinical depression. People dont have a choice generally in having a cheery disposition and certainly not while they are severly incapacitated by depression. Our modern society is a big part of problem as well in mental health terms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

Bombbastic22

WalterMitty wrote: »

Doing things to help others can be beneficial to a person prone to depression but not in the depths of clinical depression. People dont have a choice generally in having a cheery disposition and certainly not while they are severly incapacitated by depression. Our modern society is a big part of problem as well in mental health terms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

I think that's a very good point.

Things were getting a bit kind of argumentative there and that kind of thing is pointless.

Hmmm......it's a very vast and complex subject and one which would take more than a few lines to discuss properly.

However, I think depression is kind of contagious as is someone's good mood/humour.

Might be interesting for some of you to have a look at Danial Golemans book called emotional intellligence. It doubt it'll change your lives, but it is really interesting.

Bombbastic22

Novella wrote: »

You're not being misunderstood at all. I thought I might have been misunderstanding you, but I wasn't.

It's funny that you think I'm narrow-minded however, when in fact it is yourself who is coming across in that way as far as I'm concerned. I don't mean to be offensive but the lack of knowledge you are portraying here isn't my problem. It's the fact that you seem so adamant that you're in the right and I, and anyone else who truly believes and understands depression to be crippling, are wrong.

I'm all for people expressing their opinions, and I love discussion and debate but honestly, you're just being insensitive right now.

It's just ridiculous that the only people you think are 'allowed' to be depressed are those suffering the effects of disaster or who have 'serious' reasons. What is serious to one person isn't necessarily to another, and to even use the word allowed in relation to a disease, an illness... I mean, seriously?

I don't have a conceited "you don't understand depression" attitude, but I don't think that you do. It's not uppity, I'm only forming my opinion based on what you are saying.

Why should a person think they deserve help? Well, what makes the disabled person entitled to such, the homeless person? Is it because you can physically see what is wrong with them but you can't see depression?

I don't think you're either a positive force in the world or a negative one. That's so simplistic. A person could be positive for a period of time and negative for another. You said yourself, no one can be happy always.

To finish, of course me stating I find your stance belittling is negative. I'm disagreeing with you!

I think you made some great points here and I can't disagree with any of it. I guess I was just throwing stuff out there.

It's funny as what one feels and thinks one day can perhaps differ to what one feels and thinks the next and perhaps I was being insensitive.

Ah, I dunno, the mind is a complex thing really isn't it?

I do think depression is perhaps a symptom rather than a disease though and the fact that I read that 20% of the country are on anti d's for it shows that it really is quite serious.

It's really god damned hard keeping your head above the water but you just gotta force yourself to keep going, you just have to..........

nudist

Just giving my 2c here but one thing I really hate is the way irish people seem to use the term 'depression' as a slander against someone's character. You wouldn't do this if the person suffered from cancer or some other disease yet it seems socially acceptable to put down those who are suffering from depression. Which in turn further isolates the sufferer from seeking outside help. This article here http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2011/0315/1224292155316.html really sickens me. The fact that medical practitioners and those working in the media deliberately scapegoat the mentally ill for their own purpose really gets my annoyed. Obviously a bit of common sense is needed but if everywhere you go you see stories of 'crazy' people in the media being vilified then sooner or later you begin to agree with the consensus of the media.

The media has a lot to answer for in this country.

Mars Bar

What I hate is that right now, someone on my facebook feed has written, ">:( back 2 wrk 2m after a week of hols depressed.com >:("

Ugh.

Bombbastic22

nudist wrote: »

Just giving my 2c here but one thing I really hate is the way irish people seem to use the term 'depression' as a slander against someone's character. You wouldn't do this if the person suffered from cancer or some other disease yet it seems socially acceptable to put down those who are suffering from depression. Which in turn further isolates the sufferer from seeking outside help. This article here http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2011/0315/1224292155316.html really sickens me. The fact that medical practitioners and those working in the media deliberately scapegoat the mentally ill for their own purpose really gets my annoyed. Obviously a bit of common sense is needed but if everywhere you go you see stories of 'crazy' people in the media being vilified then sooner or later you begin to agree with the consensus of the media.

The media has a lot to answer for in this country.

True. I'm not sure it's just this country - I think it's everywhere.

I read somewhere that women are more likely to suffer from depression and yet men are more likely to commit suicide.

Perhaps it's because women talk about it more?

Drumpot

Its funny cause I have read alot about depression over the years and I can confidently say its been an on/off problem for me.

I have suffered from depression at differant levels since I was a teenager for reasons I do not care to share here. It is an intangible disease that those who have not suffered are in no position to judge. Do I know what it is like to be blind ? Well, I can close my eyes and try to imagine what it would be like all year round, but I dont really know what it feels like.

I have had the suicidal thoughts, the hopeless "what is life about" weeks, the "maybe my family is better off without me" and the self loathing that many have mentioned here.

I generally have a sunny disposition and I love the craic but for a long time I have struggled with the extreme highs and shocking lows.

For some people its a chemical imbalance that they simply cannot control. To others, its a curse that they struggle to shake for any number of reasons. In a time of a more so called civilized society, the lack of empathy shown by people who do not understand this affliction never ceases to amaze me.

The hardest part of Depression for me has been that helpless feeling of loneliness and impending feeling of doom. My wife could be hugging me in support and I could feel like the loneliest person in the world!!!

I hate trying to explain it to friends or indeed my wife who just dont understand it. I remember reading an interesting piece somebody wrote. They were comparing it to a person in a wheelchair. Most people would automatically feel some empathy to that person. Then you have the depressed person, possibly phoning in sick in work, spending the day in bed, looking like a lazy git. I can tell you, those days are the worst. I would rather work 12 hour days then spend a day at home depressed.

I applaud anybody with depression who has had the courage to seek help and I empathise with anybody who hasnt been able to take this big step.

Giving this a bump because of the Leaving Certificate and Junior Certificate starting.

Hope everybody is coping alright with theirs. It's important to know that it's not the end of the world if you don't get the course you want - there's other options, like PLCs and repeating.

Donkey Oaty

Deleted User wrote: »

Giving this a bump because of the Leaving Certificate and Junior Certificate starting.

Good on you, sir.

SharpshooterTom

I don't know if I've ever suffered from depression before.

I don't drink, don't smoke. I've never been on depression tablets or anything. I've never taken anything that makes me "feel better". I don't see the point, I know life is hard and I just get on with it even if it does suck most of the time. It's a rat race at the end of the day.

Having said that I'm not sure if I've ever been "truely happy". I don't get that statement either. When people say these days are the happiest of my life I don't really get that. Life is meant to be hard, the human race specialises in being crap to each other, heck the animal kingdom in general just kills each other for fun. Its not necessarily about pleasure or enjoyment, that's a strange concept to me. You fight life to the very end and I will continue to do so till I'm about 80.

Some people say because I'm not happy or never been happy that I must be depressed in a way. I don't know really.

WesternNight

Gnobe wrote: »

I don't know if I've ever suffered from depression before.

I don't drink, don't smoke. I've never been on depression tablets or anything. I've never taken anything that makes me "feel better". I don't see the point, I know life is hard and I just get on with it even if it does suck most of the time. It's a rat race at the end of the day.

Having said that I'm not sure if I've ever been "truely happy". I don't get that statement either. When people say these days are the happiest of my life I don't really get that. Life is meant to be hard, the human race specialises in being crap to each other, heck the animal kingdom in general just kills each other for fun. Its not necessarily about pleasure or enjoyment, that's a strange concept to me. You fight life to the very end and I will continue to do so till I'm about 80.

Some people say because I'm not happy or never been happy that I must be depressed in a way. I don't know really.

I don't think that life is meant to be anything. It just is. Animals don't kill each other for fun. They kill each other for survival. People don't kill each other for fun either, although I guess sometimes it may seem like that.

LighterGuy

Isnt being depressed called "bi-polar" now?

WesternNight

LighterGuy wrote: »

Isnt being depressed called "bi-polar" now?

Depression and bi-polar aren't the same, although some symptoms overlap.

LighterGuy

WesternNight wrote: »

Depression and bi-polar aren't the same, although some symptoms overlap.

I know they are not the same but i've heard being depressed being called bi-polar recently

which i think is stupid.

7sr2z3fely84g5

forgive my ignorance,i don't think there's a cure for depression,except acceptance and learning to cope with it.

stupidusername

LighterGuy wrote: »

I know they are not the same but i've heard being depressed being called bi-polar recently

which i think is stupid.

it is stupid. it's a very different thing. depression is unipolar.

Ruth Scarce Padding wrote: »

forgive my ignorance,i don't think there's a cure for depression,except acceptance and learning to cope with it.

I think it's a matter of trying to find things that work for you individually. might be meds, might be counselling. well, that's just about the only two options i can think of.

flutterflye

Ruth Scarce Padding wrote: »

forgive my ignorance,i don't think there's a cure for depression,except acceptance and learning to cope with it.

I know many people who have been 'cured' of depression.

Completely depends on the type, the severity, and the cause, along with what treatment and support they have received.

I do not have depression right now, but it will always be something that I will have to face, and for me it is as you say - acceptance and learning to cope.

sollar

They say depression can present itself differently in men. More aches and pains, anger, reckless behavior etc than teariness or sadness.

steddyeddy

sollar wrote: »

They say depression can present itself differently in men. More aches and pains, anger, reckless behavior etc than teariness or sadness.

Thats interesting. If the old cliche is true that men tend to hide their pain maybe the effort involved in masking it creates tension in the muscles.