Funniest thing you have read in a cubicle

Panthro

Ok AH,

We have all been in a cubicle at some stage or other, In the male cubicles there is always without fail at least 1 if not all of the following:

Some phone number with something like "if you want gay sex call" written alongside it.
A drawing of a penis/vagina/both (who the hell brings a pen into the cubicle and decides to draw a penis?!)
"Deco/anto/etc woz ere"
"IRA"...nothing else, just "IRA"

So, whats the funniest thing you have seen in a cubicle?

(Token "your ma" reply is my contribution)

Poly

"I fcuked your Mother"

Below it written on a later date

"Da, go home, you're drunk"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"Give them a hi viz jacket and they think they're God"

Rosslare ferry port. Just made me laugh for some reason

Hellm0

In a public toilet in Lanesborough, written above a straight horizontal line about 6ft off the ground...

"If you can piss this high apply to the Lanesborough fire chief at xx-xxxxxxx"

KeithM89_old

"Theres no bog-roll....




....made you look"


On the back of the door:
"If your reading this, your probably doing a shit"

"I shat on the seat the last time i was here"

crow_eat_crow

"We'll never forget you Jimmy Sands"

Package

there are some classics,, and some really idiotic sayings.

the best one ive seen is.

"Only idiots write on public toilet walls"

stink of irony

KeithM89_old

crow_eat_crow wrote: »

"We'll never forget you Jimmy Sands"

Haha :D
Best one yet..

whadabouchasir

the funniest I've seen was when someone wrote:"Nothing is impossible"
Then undernath it there was:
"Perpetual motion
Travelling at the speed of light
a bitch without complications."

Panthro

I was in one in the college earlier and on the right hand side it said:
"toilet tennis, look left!"
and on the left hand side it read:
"toilet tennis, look right!"

I tells ya, some how, at some point in time, a FAS boy(more than likely) thought of something mildly funny, and wrote it down on either side of that cubicle!

Dravokivich

RABBLE on a toilet seat...

...been meaning to upload that for ages!

:pac:

My name is URL

Written beside the flusher -

"Please wiggle handel", and someone else had written underneath it; "Will he wiggle bach?"

hairy sailor

there's no point standing on the seat,the crab's in here can jump 6 feet

lenoude

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
went to fart but shat my pants.

bonerm

In college our cubicle walls were used as very basic message board system of one person writing a rude comment and then the rest of the wall open to reply underneath. So, imagine 6ft white planks of white wood entirely covered in 16pt biro and marker comments from top to bottom. Thousands of words and every inch covered. You basically looked forward to taking a shíte just so you could read the latest comments.

Anyway one of the comments that was written there was :
"<Top professor of my faculty name here> is a fággot."

A couple of days later a reply appeared underneath:
"No I'm not and if I find out who wrote this I'm going to find you and rape your bottom."

Years later I still remember it. (I even like to believe that unlikely enough it was the man himself who wrote the reply).

orourkeda

wipe your arse \fanny and f*ck off

friendface

Drunk Octopus

Super-Rush

Flutterinbantam woz ere.

Xavi6

The oul "Maynooth Arts Degree - please take one" beside the toilet roll always gets a snigger, especially as the missus has one

JONJO THE MISER

As Wichita falls, so falls Wichita Falls.

Rawhead

Building site portaloo in London years ago..
"Don't beam me now Scotty, I'm having a shiiiiiiiiiiiii"

BarryDoodles

At the bottom of the door; "BEWARE of gay limbo dancers"

pebbles21

Polish go home!

but leave yer women here

and take ours with ye

Colilfc

The joke is not up here it's in your hands.

TheDriver

In Boole Jacks in UCC years ago (name blocked for privacy reasons) but someone went to an awful of thought:

"Patrick *****'s mother sucks the cock of Satan"

jimthemental

"Confucius said: Any fool can piss on the floor but it takes a hero to **** on the ceiling."


"Here I sit and contemplate,
Should I **** or masturbate"

Both were on the wall of the jacks in my old job.

Judgement Day

In the antiquated toilets at my secondary school (notorious for rotten food) somebody had written "pull the chain twice it's a long way to the kitchens" - always used to crack me up. Another was very high up over the wall length urinals in a Dublin pub - "if you're reading this you're probably going on your shoes".

SeaFields

TheDriver wrote: »

In Boole Jacks in UCC years ago

The boole jacks always had requests for information too.....

"Anyone know blonde one with pink bag in 2nd year psychology. Always sits at back left. Please leave her number".

If anyone ever got a ride out of that I salute them.

DublinWriter

Free Bobby Sands

...and under it, written...

with every pack of Cornflakes

Kidchameleon

In my old job someone actually put a piece of sh1t on the wall of a cubicle and wrote "sh1t" in marker with an arrow pointing at the poo!

animaal

Thought this was pretty good...

iCosmopolis

"I'm ten inches long and five inches 'round"
Written underneath " Are you a ferret?"

starbelgrade

In the toilets in DIT Bolton Street..

"How many 1st year electrical engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's a 2nd year project."

Panthro

another one I've seen more than once is the word "waterloo".
And I once seen "are ya droppin' the kids off at the pool?"

and someone once wrote "I'm dying"
someone under that wrote "for a shíte!"

pablomakaveli

lenoude wrote: »

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
went to fart but shat my pants.

I've seen one similiar to that:

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
A fart so great it shook the bowl
and burnt the hair aound my whole.

I saw this joke as well inside a cubicle.

A girlfriend goes into a sex shop to buy a gift for her husband.
She asks the shopkeeper whats the best thing he has.
He then produces a frog from behind the counter and says "This frog gives the most amazing blowjobs ever"
So the girlfriend buys the frog and gives it to the boyfriend who loves it.
Anyway that night the girlfriend wakes up and notices her boyfriend isnt in bed. She hears a noise from the kitchen so she goes down to see what it is.
When she gets to the kitchen she sees the man and the frog sitting on the floor with all the pots and pans around them.
She asks her boyfriend what hes doing and he replies "As soon as i teach this frog to cook, you're outta here."

Whoever wrote all that must have been taking a big dump.

DazMarz

In the Arts Block in UCD:

"Nostradamus was here...... next week."

In Newark Liberty Airport, New Jersey, USA:

"Here I sit, Cheeks a-flexin, givin birth to another Texan"

In the Science Block in UCD:

"[arrow pointing at the toilet paper dispenser] Arts Degrees; please take one"

In Coláiste Ráithín toilets:

"Lodi Daudie, free John Gotti" (This was about 2 years after Gotti had died...)

In Arts Block in UCD:

"Some come here to sit and think, others come here to **** and stink"

CarrickMcJoe

POSTED ON TOILET WALL IN ANCO BALLYFERMOT 1980

They came down from the glen,
All the AnCo men,
They came like fairy dancers,
For 1 in 10 were good tradesmen,
and the rest were fvcken w4nkers!

Penn

lenoude wrote: »

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
went to fart but shat my pants.

Alternative one I've seen:

Here I sit broken hearted
Came to ****e but only farted
Oh but what a fart! It broke the bowl
And burnt the hair around me hole



Anyway, funniest one I've seen was "Any load greater than 2kg must be lowered by hand"

CarrickMcJoe

Anymore than 2 shakes is a ****!

or at DunLaoighaire harbour jax. Arrow pointing to toilet roll which was a huge roll of greaseproof paper.
SANDPAPER...........

homerun_homer

"I can't believe Michael Jackson is Dead" Obama

Forget where I saw this written but I took a pic on my phone.

AnnyHallsal

Rage against the latrine.

I cut Paddy Casey's hair.

Both in Whelan's.

Run_to_da_hills

Saw this one in Fas. "Please flush this toilet twice, the canteen is on the upper floor".

charlemont

On a train to London From Wales in the cubicle was written " I R A in rachels ass"

papagormo

papagormo wrote: »

Some phone number with something like "if you want gay sex call" written alongside it.

I fell victim to this once, someone wrote my phone number in a toilet in a secondary school in Newbridge and I ended up getting texts over it. I've never even been in Newbridge and don't know anyone there so can only assume someone randomly made it up. (and no, I'm no gay btw )

nibtrix

Written very low down on the cubicle door -

"You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle"

_Whimsical_

I didn't see it myself as I was never in the gents but I'm reliably informed that the below was written on the inside of a cublicle door in the mens toilets of NUIG

" BEWARE GAY LIMBO DANCERS"

fillmore jive

in the jacks in the ucd science block:

'you don't take dumps here, you leave them here'

veryangryman

Good idea for thread

Limerick IT was a haven for comedy in the jacks. My personal fave...

"If you are gay, meet me here at 12"

followed by...

"Im here everyday but you never show!"

Madame Razz

'<insert name of poncey Army cadet here> has genital warts'

All over NUIG, in every cubicle, in every building, started in the library and suddenly was written all over:D Twas hilarious as the guy in question SERIOUSLY thought he was the dogs, and was very unimpressed as it affected his success with the ladeeeez for a considerable amount of time:p

_Whimsical_

The ladies toilets in the Arts block of NUIG generally attracted a lot of earnest young women having long scrawled debates about issues like abortion.. There was no funny stuff except what was not intended to be funny.

My favourites :

One person had wrote "yo yo incest is best , put yo momma to the test" . Two days later there were at least 30 outraged responses , Irish Times letter page style replies about the evils of child abuse and rape.

The best though was the long sprawling debate about how people should stop writing on the toilet walls because the poor cleaners had to spend hours every few weeks washing it all off. Cue literally hundreds of comments of wholehearted agreement.

sean corcoran

not the funniest but it made me laugh

in smyths toys staff jax

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DID A POOOOOOOOOOOOOOO